Hiding from it all
by phlowergirl
Summary: Larke is moving in with her college roommate Leah after graduation, Something strange happens when one of the guys imprints on her and will the two be able to over come their differences or too much to handle. pack scandal WORKING ON EDITING FYI
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 Don't own twilight. Hope you enjoy this is my first fanfic for the pack and first fanfic that is longer than a one shot. ENJOY**

As much as I have always wanted to fit into this world, in my life, I have always been on the outside looking in. I have never truly felt like I have belonged, at least when I look back at the last few years of my life. I see everything I have been through, but yet I find that I can no longer just ignore everything that has happened to make me who I am, and what I have become.

Nothing is as it seems to be, with me, I am who I am and that is all I can ever become. I have a hard time trusting anyone, let alone talking to people. I feel that this move will benefit me in the long run because then I will be able to be myself as I truly have always wanted to be-maybe.

I know that nothing will ultimately change my behavior, but I can always try to forget what my brain tells me. I need to push away these evil thoughts of my demise and the reoccurring daydreams I have when I hear the voices that call me towards my death.

The voices I hear I fight, and I run from them, but if I give into the constant lashing out of the words in my mind, I find it very hard to pull myself from my negative, evil thoughts. They seem so real that I can hardly demand or argue that I should go on.

Now I know this may sound crazy, but I can tell you that if I always thought I was in control of my own actions I would be lying. I have an internal conflict that dwells deep within my mind, although I have never ever told anybody about this for fear that they would declare me a mental case and lock me up.

So, that brings me to the move, where exactly am I moving and who am I moving with? I am going to be staying with a college friend in her home town, yes I know how predictable is that every college kid wants to move in with their college friends instead of heading back to their own mundane hometown.

I am looking forward to the exciting west coast in that I am from the boring Midwestern state of Ohio lavished with cornfields and dirt roads. Moving to Washington will be an exciting chapter in my life for I have never been outside a five state radius and therefore, have no idea what to expect, except what my best friend has told me of the quaint town, the forests, and ocean front.

I arrive at the airport looking for her smiling face as I exit the baggage claim and glee fills my heart for the first time in who knows how long as I see her standing a short distance off waiting impatiently for me to come towards her. Her long black hair tied back in a high pony tail sways back and forth as she runs towards me greeting me in a large hug.

"I can't believe that you are finally here, the last few weeks since graduation have been torture. I missed you so much. I hope going home for you wasn't that bad." Leah exclaims with a happy yet somber expression.

"No, it was an unexpected goodbye for anyone I saw, but I am so excited to be here away from everyone I know except for you that is." I said smiling but hoping internally that my existence, here could distract me from my mind wondering towards the negative.

"Come on, let's go, I can't wait for you to meet everyone?" Leah says taking my suitcase and heading towards the door.

"E..Everyone…" I squeak out, "What do you mean everyone?"

"You know my brother and mine and his friends…you'll have to meet them all eventually, plus you just might like one of them. A few are actually still single if you can believe that." Leah explained winking at me at the last comment.

Okay, I am terrified, I mean I knew that Leah had friends but she never really talked about them at school, she said that she went away to college to get away from them for a while. She needed to come to terms with some things that had happened between her and her friends and family. I never expected her to actually have made up with them all before I moved here she has never said anything had gotten better, but Leah has always been quite secretive about her life at home. I wonder what changed, I can't help but be scared at the last comment that she said with a wink, 'some of them are still single,' what was that, is she trying to set me up with someone ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh I am going to jump out of my own skin.

I'll leave, better yet open the truck door and jump out, we are going 60. I could really die if I do it right, NO, No don't think thoughts like that stop…..I slam my fist hard into my knee waking myself up from my evil rant in my brain effectively snapping myself back into reality, only to find Leah looking at me like I am insane, lost, terrified.

"What's wrong, Larke, you look like I'm going to throw you to a pack of wolves." Leah says with a small laugh.

"Uhh….sorry you know how I get meeting new people. I don't like large crowds when you said everyone…I just …don't know how I can handle that." I stammered trying to hide my real thoughts from her turning towards the window staring blankly at the passing trees.

"Don't worry Larks I'm not going to do that to you, you forget I spent three years with you at college and know how you get in the middle of a large crowd of strangers. I assure you that everyone will love you to death…their all family to me like a bunch of little brothers, you know." She said and I could hear her smiling as she said these words to me, just like her to try to reassure my ever nervous, anxious thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The rest of the ride to Leah's house was done in silence as I ponder my ever growing nervousness and contemplate what her friends and family could look like. Leah is not a picture person, I have only seen a few pictures of her and her brother, but they were much younger probably only 12 or 13.

As we near houses I wonder which house hers will be, will it be large or small I have no idea actually once again I was left in the dark. We pull to a stop outside of a relatively large house in comparison to the others around it, and hesitantly I proceed to follow my best friend out of the car towards what I assume is her mothers' old house. Her mother had passed away in the middle of our junior year at Ohio University, I know she shares this house with, Seth, her brother, and one of his friends, but that is about all I ever heard about her life here in La push.

"Hey Seth we're back are you home?" Leah yells as we walk through the front door. There is no answer she turns to me and says, " They must be out or sleeping, are you hungry I can make something to eat, I'm sure if the smell of food drifts through the air some of the guys will show up for dinner."

"Whatever…where should I put my stuff…" I hesitantly ask.

"Oh yeah, go up the stairs fourth door, it's on the left I had Seth and Jacob fix it up for you last week." Leah says as she walks towards the kitchen.

The house has an open floor plan down stairs and has very few walls so the dinning room, front room, and kitchen were all unhindered by walls. The upstairs, however, consists of a long hall with several doors along both sides, some of which I assume have to be closets. I find the room Leah said is mine and start to unpack my belongings. I didn't have much considering I flew here and all, but what I could pack in the two large suit cases is more than enough I thought as I observed and took in my surroundings.

I lie back on the bedspread with my hands over my head trying to relax and take in everything that has happened since I left the airport. How could I ever get over this anxiety to meet Leah's friends? What if they don't like me? What could I possibly do to get them to like me? I am not that outgoing when I first meet people, but once you get to earn my trust, I like to believe I open up and let my true colors show. I guess I will just have to grin and bear the awful feelings that envelope me around strangers.

I am awakened from my thoughts by a soft knock on the door, I sigh, "yeah." As I look towards the closed white door.

"Uh…Leah said to come down and eat, the food is almost done." A strange voice says from behind the door. I panic, oh my gosh, some guy is at my door who else is here I can't come out. What if there are 40 people down there, and they are all staring at me?

"I'm not hungry. " I whisper softly hoping that he could hear me still.

"She told me you would say that…now come on open your door and let's go down together." A voice tries to reassure me.

"Who's down there?" I ask tentatively afraid of the answer.

"Just Seth and Leah and Brady, you know your roommates." He says casually.

"Then who are you?" I choke out sitting up on my bed gaining a little courage from his information, I would have to meet my roommate sooner or later.

"Open the door and I'll tell ya." He says with a small chuckle.

I hesitantly stand up and reach for the door knob, the metal knob feeling cold on my skin, turning the metal sphere in my palm seems to drag into hours. I swing the door open to see a large man standing there in cut off jeans and a white tank top smiling hesitantly. His hair is long about to his shoulders, eyes dark, and oh is he hot. Why does Leah have to have hot friends? I can deal so much better with ugly guys, oh no, I bet I'm staring, where to look, uh um, how bout the floor? Yeah, so that I don't fall or something even though I'm not clumsy.

"So the door is open…" duh I state the obvious I must sound like a complete jackass in front of this guy I wonder if Leah told him I don't like people.

"I'm Jacob, sorry to scare you, I just wanted to help out you know since you're Leah's friend and all, I live down the street, but like the rest of us, I'm here a lot since Seth's house is large enough for hold us all." Jacob rattles off, I could tell he didn't know what to say to me, he must know more about me than I thought, so I smile and hesitantly walk towards the stairs hoping that I wouldn't make a complete ass out of myself.


	3. Chapter 3 Jakes POV

**Well i thouugh i would go for someone else's pov considering Larke's is a little uninformed for the most part so i picked Jake and took some time to explain the back story of my plot a bit please review tell me if you hate it or love it i dont care what you think your thoughts are your own i just would like to know them hahahha**

Jacob's POV

Having Leah constantly invade our thoughts is driving us insane, she is fuming about what Sam inadvertently did to her, even though she fully understands the call that a wolf has towards his imprint. Sam is a wreak and it is getting worse not that he would let anyone know, for the most part, his thoughts on the subject and guarded when he phases though he isn't adept at hiding them.

Leah is still as bitchy as always when it comes to actually having to socialize with the pack, we all know that she is drawn to being with us, but her attitude makes it impossible to be civilized for longer than an hour at the most. This is what I came back to after my 6 month adventure in the wild, the pack is all on edge and everything seems to be falling apart.

It has been about a month now of chaos around La Push, and it looks like there is no end in sight.

"Sam, we need to call an emergency meeting, the pack is falling apart, and you are a complete mess, and don't deny it. I can see it in your eyes." I say to Sam one morning before everyone arrives for breakfast at Sam and Emily's house.

"I know but there is no solution…" Sam says placing his hand on his brow and leaning forwards.

"I think I may have a solution if everyone is willing to put forth the effort for the good of the pack, and who knows our sanity might just return." I say slowly trying not to offend our alpha even though he respects my opinion, he is still the one in charge.

"Spill it Jake let's hear your plan." He says with a sigh as Emily comes over to sit beside him poised to hear how I plan to fix it all.

"Let's send her away for awhile," I could see Sam getting mad, I started my sentence wrong, "Let me rephrase that Sam I mean let's send her to college you know out of state send her to a four year school get her outa here for the majority of the year for awhile so that she has some space from you and the rest of us." I stammer hoping that Sam sees my point, I look at Emily and she looks ecstatic at the idea of her cousin going to college.

Sam seems to be at a loss for words at the moment, which I take as him trying to find out how this would all work out so I give him some help, " We all have some money saved for this and that, and I know that Leah has money in her account, and she could get a job for the tuition money and I'm sure there are grants she could get."

"I don't know we will need to talk to everyone, and to Leah without turning this into what it really is. Emily will you talk to Sue about pushing Leah towards college, and we will try and set things in motion."

College did wonders for Leah, she not only seemed to get over Sam, but she was making the most of the experience. Since Sue died when Leah was a Junior in College, the pack has literally taken over the Clearwater's house since it is one of the largest. Seth doesn't mind, in fact he is grateful that we are around. Brady moved in with him, since they are long time friends. I am over most everyday, more so than I am at my own house. We keep the fridge stocked and one of the girls will usually come over to cook, you know they worry we will set the kitchen on fire if we attempt anything more than grilled cheese sandwiches.

Sam and Emily have a little girl now she is 2, and you can only guess the anxiety that the pack felt upon seeing her in the hospital that first day, you know with Quil's experience and all. They named her Amaranth, but everyone still loves her even though her name is hard to spit out in a rush.

Leah arrived home after graduation with some big news, as she put it, but decided to hold off telling us until dinner that evening so that she wouldn't have to repeat it 15 times. It is nice to see Leah act alive and happy she did a complete 180, and I can't help but feel smug about it all, not that she knows I had anything to do with it. We kept the reasons a secret, although I am sure she suspected.

The whole pack and counterparts were coming over for dinner to hear Leah's big news so you can imagine the feast that needed to be prepared. We decided on something simple so that the girls wouldn't have to stress, spaghetti –5 boxes of noodles, 6 jars of sauce, 6 loaves of garlic bread, and last but not least 10 pounds of meatballs. After the food was gone, and I mean gone, we all settled into the open dinning room living room combination and waited for the news.

Seth, Brady, and Colin were sprawled out on the sectional couch, Quill and Paul were in the beanbag chairs on the floor, Sam and Emily were watching Amaranth bounce around in the playpen, Jared, Kim, and I were putting the dishes away from dinner, Embry was taking up the floor lying on his back , and Leah had retreated into her bedroom to make a phone call leaving us all to wait impatiently.


	4. Chapter 4 Jakes POV

**Thanks for the review Jude im gonna try and proof read a bit see if that helps, but here is another chapter had to get it out of my mind before i over thought it and lost it hope you like thanks for reading.**

Jacobs POV

"So what do you think Leah's big news is, huh?" Quil asks raising his eyebrows.

"I don't have any clue, you don't think she…"Embry says grinning more to himself than anyone else.

"No, no I don't think she could hide that from us." Sam states as he picks up Amaranth from the playpen.

"Really, you don't think any of us could hide it do you?" I say walking in to lean on the kitchen/ dinning room island.

"I know I couldn't hide it from what I hear from you guys, I mean if it's like you say then I know I couldn't not think about it." Embry says with a smug smile.

"We're not all perverts like you Em, and its not like that." Quil says.

"Of course it's not like that for you, your imprints a child, and unless you're gonna go all…" Quill cuts Embry off with an evil glare and a swift kick in the head before he could finish.

"All we're saying Em, is life isn't a constant string of badly plotted pornos, there is more to it than that." Jared says as he eyes Kim.

Embry is one of my all time best friends even before we were wolves but when it comes down to actually having a serious conversation he's a little inept. Don't get me wrong I mean he has his moments, but they are few and far between. He gets the grunt of the packs jokes, him never being the guy to date a girl for longer than a few days, you know until she'll give it up.

"Okay guys I'm ready to tell you the great news, and I know you would never guess what I'm gonna tell you." Leah says as she comes down the stairs and plops down on the sectional on top of Seth.

"Come on Leah just spit it out already." Seth says shoving her off him and into Brady.

"Alright, we're gonna have a new roommate boys, my friend from college is moving in with us in a week or so." Leah says with a smile.

"Wow, really you have a friend." Paul says reeking with sarcasm

"Her name is Larke, and you all better be nice to her." Leah says giving Embry a stern look almost warning him to stay away.

"She huh, I never knew Leah is that why you are in a better mood lately discovered you were stroking the wrong side of the stick." Embry taunts but instinctively stands and backs out of the front room towards the dinning room.

"Embry I am not a lesbian and neither is she…" Leah says and for one second glances at Sam but looked away just as quickly hoping no one noticed." She just needed to get away from her life and start fresh."

"So when do we get to meet her, should we throw a party, you know to welcome her and all." Paul says probably hoping for a special meal.

"No." Leah says way to quickly.

"Why not?" I ask casually hoping that Leah will spill some more.

"She is very shy and doesn't like large crowds I mean just 2-3 people she doesn't know will terrify her let along all of you heathens." Leah says waving her hand towards the lot of us.

"So…what does that mean?" Seth asks looking apprehensively at his sister.

"It means dumbass that you will all have to take your time getting to know her, and you can't all drop in at the same time until she gets used to you. I remember, I was intimidated, and I knew half of you from school." Kim says.

"What about my stomach?" Embry shrieks.

"You just have to eat somewhere else for awhile, and I mean it." Leah says as she gets several wide eyes and gaping jaws from several of the guys.

"Don't worry boys I'll cook a few meals at my house this week it'll be like old times." Emily says looking towards Sam for approval.

"Its not like no one can come here I mean just don't all come in one group, you'll know once you meet her, you'll know how it works, I mean sometimes she warms up to people a lot faster than others and other times it just never happens…but you'll know, by the way she talks to you. Okay?"

Boy oh Boy, Leah sure knows how to pick friends. She picks someone who is the exact opposite of us and wants to throw her in the mix, throw her to the wolves so to speak, yeah. The thought running through my mind and every other single wolf right now is, 'is she the one' just like we do when meeting anyone new. It is always on the back of our minds wandering around so to say, it will be hard for the guys to stay away until we all know.


	5. Chapter 5 JPOV

**I like this chapter gonna start getting to the good stuff you know where everyone meets hahaha wonder what will happen :)**

Jakes POV

Lkes's going to arrive this weekend and the whole pack has been awaiting her arrival eagerly. Nothing like a new girl coming to town to quicken the heartbears of an adolescent warewold.

I know its been a couple of years since high school and all but you know the warewolf thing with the whole not aging business, it keeps our hormones kinda keyed up if you get my drift.

I am now sitting at the Clearwater's house longing around hoping for dinner later. I ran patols this morning with Bmbry and Paul. My mind is still trying to make sence of those two. I'm just glad that quill or some other guy with an imprint wasn't with or Leah gods forbid if she heard any of their banter.

Its amazing that she hasn't heard us yet, and the wrath of Leah hasn't been felt quite awhile. I think its because she went to college and released some of that sexual tention she had built up. I won't ask her thought cause she's still a little touchy about topics concerning sex. Maybe I'll have the opportunity to ask larke what Leah was like during college, now that could be an interesting conversation.

So the night of Lark's arrival has been meticulously planned out donwn to who will be allowed in the house or for that matter anywhere within a mile of he damn house. Leah doesn't want any unnesscary urges to be bestoded upon one of us before we have been properly introduced so to speek.

She says it could take a while what like a month I sure hope not.

Alleast im included in the lucky few that get to meet her right from the start, but that just means that I'll be pumped for information that much more readily. Seth and Brady will also get to meet her that first day, but I doubt it is due to their mature attitudes on the topic for theiy will be dher roommates. Seth being the brother also has its role in the matter who better to meet first than your friends little brother and his best friend. Hahah

" Jacob I see you are scouting our dinner huh." Leah syas as she walks down the stairs. " Remember don't be here when we return from the airport, I don't want you guys to frighten her."

"Sure sure we'll be here once she has had time to settle just like we have planned, no worryies, you know we don't want to hurt her were just axious."

"You all act like she's a piece of meat waiting to be selected from a buther shop." Leah says with a smile before turning to open the friede to take out a large rast..

I smile knowing that she is just as cuious to kow if any of us will imprint on her best friend .

"So what's for dinner Leah?" I ask eyeing the large piece of meat shes coating with various hearbs and spices.

'Im making stew so feel free to let everyone know that their will be dinner here tonight if anyone is interested of course, but don't rexpect too much more than that I have to get up early tomarrow to head to the airport."

"Leah can I ask you something?" I ask heading over to the kitchen counter where a few stools are lined up next to the kitchen island.

"Sure what's on your mind Jakey." She says leaning in towards where I sat down.

"


	6. Chapter 6

**Im back to Larke's POV i like writing from Jake POV better but Larke's thoughts are important i mean the story is about her haha**

Larke's POV

As I follow Jacob down the hall towards the stairs I can't help but feel like my feet weight a ton and I don't even have any shoes on. My eyes drift towards his lower back and I can't help but look at his feet after I catch myself staring at his behind. I just want to slap myself and say 'bad girl, no you of all people don't do that, especially to a guy that looks oh so incredibly hot'.

Okay concentrate now I have to walk down the stairs without falling into that hot behind.

Before I realize it I am downstairs and there are two more guys lounging around in the family room, so before they can engage me in conversation I b-line it to the kitchen where I know Leah will be.

"Hey L, need any help?" I ask really hoping that she does, L is my nickname for her.

"No…" Leah says turning around looking at me she must of seen something wrong cause she says." Uh…sure grab the napkins and put them in the dinning room, then go have a seat in the family room dinner won't be done for another 20 minutes" she gives me a reassuring smile and a gentle push towards the dinning room.

I sigh I guess Leah is not gonna let me escape that easy, I have to remember that I live here now.

I place the napkins in the center of the dinning room table and cautiously approach the family room where I get my first glimpse of what the other two guys look like and freak. Do all of Leah's friends have to be muscular and so incredibly mouth gapingly good-looking.

I hesitate for a moment not knowing just where to sit down. Jacob and the other two are casually thrown all over the family room. Jacob is on the couch taking up most definitely enough to make me sitting their awkward. The other two are strung across the floor on bean bag chairs.

"Hey Larke…" I hear and jump back with fright being drawn out of my mental observations. "Sorry didn't mean to scare you…" I hear a apologetic male voice call.

"You didn't I just was surprised." I say timidly looking at the far wall trying to avoid the 6 eyes that I knew were now staring at me.

"Well, then come sit on the couch with me I don't bite." Jacob says sitting up and patting the couch.

"Uh…Yeah I guess I could sit down." I walk over and find a place to sit on the large sectional that I hope isn't too close or too far from Jacob so that I don't offend him.

"Those two dorks over there on the floor are Seth and Brady they live here so you can just boss them around, treat them like your younger brothers." Jacob says as he leans back down spalling arcoss the couch once again.

"Hi" the two other guys say and wave in unison which I know should demand that I also say hi but of which I do in a barely audible tone.

"So give us the gory details about life with my sister at college." The smaller of the two large guys says with a smile rolling over onto his stomach to look at me.

"What do you mean?" I ask confused by the question I mean they must know more about Leah than I do she must have told atleast her own brother about college life.

"Leah is secretive about what she did while she was at college, come on give us something to work with, did she have a boyfriend, huh huh." Brady I think says moving his eyebrows suggestively.

"Ummmmm," What am I suppose to say about that she never really had a boyfriend so to speak but we hung out with several guys steadily and although there was nothing official I knew that Leah and him were more than just friends behind closed doors so to speak. I can't tell her brother that…I would die of embarrassment if someone told my brother that I had a sex buddy while at college. "No." I decided on a short but definitive response hopeful for an end to this line of questioning.

"What about you then Larke, leave any boyfriends behind?" Seth retorts back seeing that I didn't want to divulge any of his sisters secrets.

"Not anyone worth a memory." I say feeling confident that I surely didn't want to go into details of my love life with these three guys.

"Wow, that's harsh." Jacob says joining the conversation suddenly. What did I offend him or something I wonder? How could my lack of wanting to remember the men in my past affect anyone besides me, it can't, –I'm imagining things again.

The look in Jacob's eyes as he said that made me uncomfortable and I scoot towards the far end of the sectional sofa pulling my knees up under myself as I look away.


	7. Chapter 7

Larke's POV

I sit here staring at my knees hoping, praying to myself that they, the three large muscular men in the room, would drop it, stop talking, or maybe I would simply disappear. I offended them. How could I explain my actions? I made a mistake coming here; I should go back to Ohio, back to the misery that I left there.

I miss my endless cornfields and the smell of the corn silks in the summer heat. Why did I ever think that I could move out here—away from everything that I love to hate.

My mind starts to feel fuzzy, it's the feeling I get as I am pulled away and into the realm where conscious and intelligent thought cease to function. I can see death, I can see myself drained of my own blood by my own hand internally I know I should be repulsed but I have already succumbed to the darkness, the evil in my mind.

Absently I feel my own fingers trace the scars on my wrists as my mind sends me further down into the traitorous road of my evil desires. Its calling to me, calling my name, "Larke…" I hear faintly, almost a whisper as I trod aimlessly into the deep chasm.

"Larke." Some one screams more urgently shocking my eye into reality.

I look up, throw my head violently back against the couch. This forces myself out of my delusion of self hatred. I dig my fingernails sharply into the top of my left hand, and I have to fight to regain a hold on my mind. I see the three monstrous males towering over me as I regain use of my brain.

My eyes dart quickly from each of their faces, expecting to see anger, hate, or disgust but instead I fear that what I really see behind their eyes is pain and worry.

No

I rise quickly I mumble, " I need a smoke." And I run out of the now seemingly too small family room and up the stairs. I hastily grab my smokes and bolt out the front door without another word slamming the door in my rushed departure.

I light one up and place the pack into my rear pocket thanking myself for wearing my most comfy baggy wide leg jeans. I inhale deeply concentration on the calming effect of the action alone as the smoke courses through my body. I slowly feel relaxation overtake anxiety.

I'm not an overly motivated smoker, for that matter I only seem to smoke so that my mind has something to concentrate on other than my thoughts. My thoughts are my worst enemy.

I walk absently down the road that I know leads towards town, not wishing to get lost this close to the evening twilight. My feel prickle as they scrap on the gravelly dirt roads allowing me to feel alive. I close my eyes and steadily inhale my calm savoring the feel of the cold against my flushed face.

My calm couldn't get any better. I feel myself smiling so I stop and open my eyes. My cigarette has stopped burning I notice absently, probably due to my lack of interest, but I'll deal with that later. I turn my eyes to the sky one of my favorite past times. I lean my head back and slowly turn around and the smile on my face is growing as I take in the gray dreary sunset.

If only moments like this could last forever.

I sigh and take out my lighter and relight my half spent cigarette and take in my surroundings. I vaguely know where I am, but I hesitate to go any further or back to the house. I see the green of the forest on my right and I decide to take a seat on the edge of the forest.

I have always loved trees, but I'm no fool, walking into an unknown forest without a trail at twilight could only lead to me getting hopelessly lost. I settle myself against a rather large tree hoping for my calm, my sanity to hold for awhile longer.

Jake's POV

The front door slammed and Leah came rushing in to find the three of us dumbfounded.

"What did you guys do? I leave you alone with her for 15 minutes and you already have her running away from you!" Leah yells takes a deep breath. "Well Jake don't just stand there go bring here back it's almost dark and dinners ready."

"I don't think she wants to see me Leah…" I try to explain but am cut off.

"Trust me Jake it's the thing she would want the most, just play nice." Leah says with a smile, an almost evil smile indicating that she knows far more than she has told me.

Okay…this girl has me damn confused. If one of the guys imprint on her they are gonna have their hands full. How can anyone bounce their emotions around so fast.

I follow her scent down the road towards town being sure to keep relatively quiet so that I don't scare her.

A few minutes up the road I see her, stopped but smiling, smiling at what I wonder. I follow her gaze up towards the darkening sky. What is so great about the sky right now, its dull and gray.

She doesn't see me, I must be too far away. She lights a cigarette and walks towards the tree line. Doesn't she know that forest isn't safe…I open my mouth to call out to her. Before I do she has taken a seat in front of an old tree on the edge. She looks rather peaceful sitting there.

I think back to the conversation I had with Leah yesterday as I contemplate what to do.

Flashback

"_Leah can I ask you something?" I ask heading over to the kitchen counter where a few stools are lined up next to the kitchen island. _

"_Sure what's on your mind Jakey." She says leaning in towards where I sat down._

" _I was just wondering…wanting to know actually…uh know more about your friend." I ask hesitantly trying to gage her reaction._

"_Sure Jake since you asked nicely and its you I'll let you in on some inside info." Leah says smirking at me like she had been expecting this from the start. _

"_So why exactly did you invite her out here to live with you?" I question hoping for more information than the question should entail. _

"_She just needed to get away, she's always been rather shy and reserved, but she had been coming out of her shell so to speak. She started acting more like herself around more than just me and a few of her other close friends, I mean she actually was kinda normal." Leah says pausing to collect her thoughts about what she wanted and did not want to tell me. _

"_This past year she seemed sullen about graduation and the end of term, you know we graduated and all, I knew she hated her hometown and always shied away from any contact with people there. She never confided in me why, but around about March she sort of had a breakdown mentally. She stopped coming to parties, avoiding me and our friends, she skipped class frequently and was very withdrawn. As far as she pulled away it only lasted for about 6 weeks. She scared all of us at school and we tried anything and everything to pull her back into herself. Finally she gave in to Kyle's attempt to get her to come to a party, she said yes and from then on she was more responsive but not the Larke we all knew and loved."_

"_Is she okay I mean does she need a doctor or something?" I ask now very concerned._

"_No, I mean since I asked her to move here with me she has been much more upbeat, but none of us ever figured out what was going through her mind during that 6 weeks at school. Don't push her Jake, that's why I'm so uptight about all you scoundrels and your hormone drvin' desires to find the perfect mate." Leah says ending our discussion on a much happier note._

End flashback


	8. Chapter 8

Larke's POV

Footsteps and the rustling of the tall grass alerts me to his presence. Why, oh why did she have to send on of them. If I keep my eyes shut maybe I can avoid the inevitable.

I breathe deeply and hold the breath as I slowly open my eyes. I feel the warmth radiate off his body as he gently seats himself beside me.

I know why he's here and I know I don't want to listen. I know I will give in, for although I may be stubborn I can't resist, I never can.

As I slowly exhale I look into Jacob's eyes for just a few seconds before I take a extreme interest in the strands of grass before us.

"Larke…I'm Sorry if we upset you, it wasn't our intention."

"I-I know, I just get freaked out sometimes. Its not your fault." I mumble trying to dismiss my bad behavior as something other than what it is.

"Are you okay?" Jacob says grabbing my hand, "I just want you to know that I could be here for you as a friend if you need someone to talk to." He says as I feel his thumb roam over the raised scar on the under side of my wrist.

I pull my hand away, horrified that he now knows. How? Did Leah know…did he notice on his own. I felt his eyes staring into me, scrutinizing my actions. I forced back my tears, suppressing my feelings of betrayal and somewhere the lurking depression.

I fling my head back against the tree, forcing my mind to focus.

"Shouldn't we get back to the house, dinner must be ready." I say with far too much anger in my voice.

"Yeah…" Jacob says with a sigh as he gets vertical and extends his hand out to help me up.

I look at him, terrified of his touch again. He seems to notice my hesitation or possibly the look on my face and withdraws his offer. I hop up making sure to keep my distance as we head back to the house.

My fist meeting of my roommates and Jacob didn't go so well. After an almost silent diner the three boys take off excusing themselves abruptly. Leah and I clear the table leaving the dishes in the sink for later and head into the family room to relax.

I let out an exasperated huff and throw myself face first onto the sectional. Leah eyes me with curious eyes taking a seat cross legged in front of me on the floor.

"So…What did you think of the guys cause you know that's only three of them." Leah says devilishly.

"Do they all…I mean are they all so.." I stammer not knowing how to exactly ask if they are all huge muscular hunks of man flesh.

"Yes." Leah sys smiling at my lack of words, "you'll get use to it."

Silence—I can see Leah's next question form before she even utters a word.

"So what do you think of Jake cause he may not live here but he's in this house more often than Seth and Brady are." She is watching me way to closely as this question leaves her lips.

"Uh…I don't know he seems okay, I mean he's a little abrupt." I don't know if abrupt is the right word but my vocabulary seems rather limited must be the jet lag.

"Abrupt…? What do you mean I can yell at him for you.." Leah says the slight anger apparent in her voice.

"No…" I cut her off. " it's nothing don't say anything it'll just make me feel worse." I plead not wanting him to divulge anything about our conversations to her." I think I am in desperate need of sleep if you don't mind L."

"No prob. Just settle in girl, you live here remember," Leah says as I climb the stairs.

I awoke the next morning rather perky, not normal. I felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders even though it was 5 a.m. I put on some jeans and head down stairs to find some breakfast and possibly some coffee although I didn't see a coffee pot.

I feel almost happy that I am the only person awake, erupting a feeling of freedom inside me. I turn on the radio, in need of something to keep my perky morning going smoothly. Rummaging through the fridge and cabinets I settle on pancakes as my ultimate morning breakfast for today.

I start the pancakes, letting the beat of the music dictate my movements cooking is more fun with the radio on. I don't necessarily dance to the music but can't stop my hips from bouncing to the beat. Singing on the other hand couldn't be stopped unless the song is unfamiliar.

Nickleback's, 'Figured You Out' comes on when I'm almost done making the pancakes of which I made way too many.

The catchy beat overtakes me and I find myself getting way into the song. The singers voice just causes something to stir in me and I can't help get overpowered by the feel of the song.

"_I like your pants around you feet…I like the dirt that's on your knees…" I sing my eyes closed getting lost in the lyrics. "I like the way you still…"_

"Your burning the pancakes." Jacob's voice thunders into my reverie.

"Oh my Gosh!" I shout as I flip the pancakes. I'm gonna die with embarrassment. I must be turning as red as the pancakes are black.

"How long were you standing there?" I question as I pour the last of the batter into the skillet.

"Long enough to hear what you _like_." He says with a smug smile on his face probably recalling the lyrics to the song I was singing.

"It's just a song." I throw back at him.

"I've just never heard a girl sing it like you were before." Jacob says slowly.

"Don't embarrass me by telling anyone." I plead." And I'll give you some of my pancakes."


	9. Chapter 9

**Here's the next chapter couldn't quite spit it out how i wanted to but guess im happy little short **

JPOV

Life has a ay of surprising me at the least inopportune moments. Nothing could have prepared me for hearing those words from that song come out of her pretty little mouth. The song by itself send images to my brain that send my body into an uproar, let alone hearing them sung by a girl. My thoughts, not to say I didn't find what my mind conjured up intriguing—to say the least, were enough to make me feel ashamed. My memories and thoughts would surely have to be guarded and held onto for use on a later day.

Keeping thoughts like these away from the pack would be extremely important, at least until we all met her. It would only fuel the fire beneath their curiosity. Last night I was bombarded with questions and the answers I gave were edited at best. Blocking moments that were inappropriate is more than enough to make my head spin.

I couldn't help but leak the sadness in her eyes and the smile on her face, but the way my thumb traced her scar on her wrist brought so many insecurities to the surface—both of mine and hers. Seeing her full of life sends my heart into the air even if only for a moment.

Seth and Brady walked in as I placed the last piece of pancake into my mouth. The jealousy on their faces was priceless since they realized that Larke had cooked breakfast for only me and herself. I received a weird look from Seth, but quickly shrugged it off to discuss with him later.

"So Larke what are your plans for today?" Seth asks hesitantly as he grabs some food from the fridge.

"Oh nothing much, thought I'd check out this town of yours, didn't get to see much of it yesterday." She says quietly leaning back against the kitchen sink.

"Really you should check out the beach this afternoon." Seth says smirking and if I know him he's up to something.

"Oh, I don't know I'm not really the beach type, you know Ohio…Landlocked." She frowns and looks down.

"All the more reason to check it out," Seth says giving me a little shove to get me to encourage her.

"What is he planning and who bribed him to try and get her to go to the beach. As my mind races to try and figure it out I decide that it can't hurt. I mean she is bound to see some of the guys around anyway, they will just have to behave themselves—right.

"uh…Yeah, Larke the beach is great, not a lot of people you know since its not exactly swimming weather around here most the time." I say hoping Seth knows what he's doing.

"Well maybe later if someone comes with me that is." She says not looking at anyone, but more concerned with starting the sink of dishes.

"Sure, Sure," I say, "no big deal we'd pr'olly end up down there later today anyways."

LPOV

After breakfast the three boys left again, as Leah's feet drum on the floorboards above and down the stairs. She looks around questionability at the clean kitchen and I know she could still smell the lingering aroma of pancakes.

"So the boys ate them all I guess." She says grabbing some breakfast cereal from the cabinet.

"Yeah, I ate a couple, but Jake finished off the rest."

"Just Jake huh…" she says smirking with an obviously leading expression.

"Yeah, uh… he caught me making breakfast, I guess he was hungry." I say shrugging.

"Sure, sure, you'll notice pretty quick they all are hungry no matter what."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Well if you cook they will come and I don't just mean Jake, Seth, and Brady?" she says smiling.

"Oh…" I say a little scared of the _they_ part of the sentence, " so I shouldn't cook anymore."

My terrified expression must have given me away.

"No, No don't worry I told them all not to ransack the place yet, so no worries for awhile you know till you get use to most of them." She says patting my shoulder trying to comfort me.

"Great you must have told them all that I am a complete spaz then," I say grimacing.

"I did NO such thing, I just told them that you are shy, and you should be grateful of that or we'd of had a house full last night cause they all want to meet you."

Is that why Seth convinced me to go to the beach later?"

"Um…I'm not entirely sure what my little bro is up to with that…hmmm, what did Jacob say?"

"Uh…he told me he'd go with me I guess." I say walking out of the kitchen and crashing on the sofa.


	10. Chapter 10

**Heres another update but i didnt get as far in the chapter as i thought i would next chapter hopfully more action thanks for the reviews hope im not confusing anyone :)**

LPOV

Okay, so later today I am going to have to suck up all my fears and act _normal_. Normal yeah, I can do that…right. I mean it can't be that hard to pretend to be a normal girl and have fun. I use to do it all the time—pretend, almost enjoy to socializing and being free and happy.

I asked Leah what to expect, but she kept telling me that she had no clue what her bother was thinking, although I have a sinking suspicion that she may have some idea. Who doesn't understand their little brother for goodness sakes? As far a I can see someone must be pushing more than the rest to meet me, wonder why? People in Washington sure are strange…or maybe I just am.

I still get the feeling like Leah told them more about me than she is letting on. It makes me self-conscious not knowing what she told her friends about me. I mean it is not that Leah knows too much about me, but that is what worries me the most. What if Leah told them something that she jumped to a false conclusion about, its not like I ever told her flat out about certain things. How can I sit here and doubt that my best friend would jump to false conclusion and then tell people about them. I can't keep doing this to myself, I hate to, I need to trust these people in my life. Here on out I will attempt to push away my self doubt about what they do and do not know about me…hopefully.

Leah's not out to play some cruel practical joke on me; she's my friend. Nevertheless, where has friendship ever gotten me before…NO. STOP.—just because everyone you have ever trusted before stabbed you in the back does not mean everyone will.

I slam my fist into the wall above my bed, where I am currently lounging pondering as I wait for the afternoon and the beach. The stinging of the wall against my knuckles provides me with a badly needed distraction. If I continue down memory lane, I am sorry to say that my day would probably be ruined. There is nothing to fear, everything is great, nothing to be afraid of, I can handle this. I chant this as I consciously count my breathes.

Keeping the anxiety away from the surface is extremely difficult. My mind worries endlessly about everything and nothing at all. I almost wish I could turn my mind off just so I could try and react to something, anything without critically analyzing it from every perspective I can perceive.

I was relieved earlier when Leah said that she'd tag along to the beach with us. The more people I have around me that I know the better I feel, you know the less out of place. My biggest fear of meeting people is that there will be too many at once, but of course Leah knows this all too well. I smile remembering when she first found out…

_Leah and I had met a few times and I remember liking her almost immediately, there was something about her that made us just click into being friends. She had started coming around and hanging out with my group of friends more often, but that was the only times I really saw her until that night. Leah called me up and invited me over to her house to hang out and I didn't ever think that we'd be hanging out with anyone I didn't already know, my friends always warned me when new people would be around. Leah however wasn't aware of my fear since we just met. _

_Not knowing that Leah had strange company I accepted the invite. I rang the door bell like I had a few times before, but I was suddenly frozen when someone I did not know answered the door. My eyes widened and my shoulders stiffened and I forgot to breathe. I remember the poor guy that answered the door didn't know what to think of me as I stood there motionless. _

_I head muffled chatter and felt someone lightly coaxing me through the door and towards the kitchen. The chatter quieted as I was lead over to the kitchen table and forced into a chair. I blinked my eyes and saw that Leah and the guy from the door were sitting across from me eyeing me strangely. I felt like I wanted to just die. _

"_Larke, Are you okay?" Leah asked very hesitantly._

"_Uh…yeah I'm f-fine." I said staring at the table intently, I felt really embarrassed, I mean I just made a fool out of myself in front of people I didn't know. _

"_What's wrong Larke, you just don't freak out like that for nothing, did Alex scare you or something, he's harmless you know."_

"_Sorry Leah, I just…" I started to say in a normal voice but leveled to a whisper towards the end, "d-don't do well with people I don't know."_

"_I think that is the understatement of the year." Alex said under his breath but I heard anyway and couldn't help glaring at him._

_Alex almost laughed at my reaction which forced me to look away._

"_Leah maybe I should just go, I mean it sounds like there are a lot of people here and I don't like large crowds." I said nervously looking towards the loud chatter in the front room. _

"_That's ridiculous Larke, there's only 4 or 5 kids in there…last night at Ray's house there were 15 of us at the least."_

"_Yeah, but I know every single one of them personally…and now you know that I am a total freak so just let me leave before you hate me even more." I said rushing towards the front door. _

_I ran out of there so fast that night, but fortunately Leah didn't give up and cornered me on campus the next day forcing me to explain what exactly I was afraid of. Eventually she introduced me to her friends and soon I added them to my list of acceptable people to be around. _

A slight knock on my door awoke me fro my memories.

"Hey Larke, are you ready to go?" Leah's voice says from behind the door, "I'll meet you down stairs."

"Uh, Huh," I yell and pull myself of my bed.


	11. Chapter 11

LPOV

The beach itself looked beyond words, for I have never been to an actual beach that wasn't situated on a too small lake and full of screaming children and preppy bikini bums. Yeah, I guess my view of beaches is a little sheltered I guess Ohio has its drawbacks.

We find a comfortable spot to relax on the beach, I myself lying in the rocky sand staring up into the cloud-filled sky taking in the smells and sounds of the crashing waves.

"So do you love the beach now Larke?" Seth asks.

"Yeah, Right me love something…you sure don't know me too well." I say sarcastically.

"Ha ha very funny Larke, I know you are more than capable of love." Leah says nudging me.

"You know nothing of the sort L., Life just isn't that simple for you to have me figured out."

"Yeah, yeah, I know your all mysterious about your love life, I'm not gonna embarrass you about it."

"So Larke, What were you up to all day while you were hiding in your room?" Seth asks thankfully changing the topic.

"I was just thinking, nothing to strenuous." I mumble.

"Oh, you mean over analyzing." Leah says sarcasm barely touching the surface.

"No, I was just reminiscing about college and all, I might actually miss that place."

"Really! Tell us a story about Leah." Seth has an excited gleam in his eyes.

I smile evilly, "I have just the story your looking for." I say eyeing Leah for some kind of reaction.

"No, Larke, don't tell them that story, my brothers here."

"Oh come on, they'll get a kick out of it and I won't go into the full details they have imaginations you know."

"Okay I know you will let it slip sooner or later anyway."

"Okay so we were at this insanely horrendous party last year that L. forced me to go to."

"I did not force you to go…you know you were crushing on Ayden and wanted to…"

"L." I whine and cut her off this story is about her not me. "So at this party after we were uh…socializing for quite some time, I had lost L. a few hours back and was talking to some friends. The music suddenly cuts off and everyone turns to see why. The stereo was in the dinning room corner, and as I turn around to look for the loser who stopped the music, I gasped. L. was pinned on her back against the sound system, the stereo was teetering against the wall where it crashed from the force of the two of them. L. was not looking her uh…best her dress was not appropriately covering her, but the guy all I can say is that L. sure knows how to pick a guy with a great behind."

Needless to say Jake and Seth looked a little horrified and Leah looked a bit nervous.

"Leah you never told us about this side of you before." Jake exclaims slapping her on her back playfully.

"I know I can't wait till the guys here about this." Seth replies.

"Larke just remember pay backs are a bitch, I know plenty of stories to share." Leah mumbles.

"Oh, NO, don't say that I know you and your _not_ innocent I know you've shared already." I say glaring at her just a bit.

She had to of told them something, I mean you do not just bring home your freak of a roommate and not warn everyone.

Everyone seemed rather quiet after the exchange between Leah and me, sorta confirming that fact that I was correct in my assumption and me.

"Come for a walk with me Larke." Seth says out of nowhere.

"Huh, Why?" I question wondering if this was the beginning to his scheme.

"What are you up to Seth?" Jacob asks sounding a little annoyed.

"Nothing Jake, I just wanted to show Larke the rest of the beach… and if someone else happens to be around it's not my fault." Seth says with fake innocence.

I sigh wondering who Seth's friend is and how I should respond to this whole situation. I mean I just met Seth I don't know if I could handle meeting one of his friends with just him around. What if he is a total dick? I don't think that I could handle that not after…but maybe I should just get over that I mean it did happen a while ago and not all guys are all sweetly innocent but assholes at the same time.

I close my eyes and hope that the moment will end. I do not want to feel like this right now, I open one eye and hesitantly look at Leah. She is looking at her brother and Jake most likely searching for an answer in their actions. Just as I am about to close my eyes and return to the black behind my eyelids she catches my eye.

"Larke, we can go back to the house if you want." Leah says clearly giving me an easy out.

Come on Larke, remember you can do this, nothing to be scared of, just say you'll go and get it over with…Seth is Leah's brother he's not gonna hurt you… My internal monologue of a pep talk has me teetering on the edge of my decision wanting to go but afraid of the next step.

"Come on Larke," Seth says extending his hand towards me where I lie on the ground.

I hesitantly take his hand, feeling the warmth radiate of his skin as he pulls me up. He almost drags me towards to surf and down the beach away from my safety zone. I have to admit it is nice walking along the beach's surf, but it is not enough to squelch the qualm.

"So what exactly is the point of you dragging me down the beach?" I say getting my courage from somewhere, possibly from my apprehension.

"Uh…" He stammers.

"Just spit it out, come on honesty goes quite further than a bunch of lies."

"Okay, I'll tell it to you straight," He says stopping and turning towards me. "My friend Embry wants to meet you and I know that Leah and Jake wouldn't want you to meet him next…in fact he is very far down the line of those that you should meet. He might give you a bad impression of us."

"Okay, so if no one wants me to meet him, then what did he do to convince you to drag me out here so that I could meet him?" Okay this guy sounds like a complete jerk and I seriously doubt that I want to continue down the beach.

"I lost a bet…" He laughs.

"Fine, just don't leave me alone with him…" I stammer pushing the fear away. I close my eyes and dig my fingernails deep into the top of my hand letting out a deep breath I didn't realize I was holding.

"Don't worry…" Seth says starting to walk again.

We walk a little further down and around a small hill, blocking our view from Leah and Jake. The sun is slightly setting casting a ominous glow across the beach, heightening my fears of the situation before me. Seth leads me over to someone leaning against a cliff on the far side of the beach.

As Leah told me earlier, this guy looked very similar to Jake, Seth, and Brady. He appeared to be lankier than Jake, but regardless of that a huge mountainous tan man stood in front of us with nothing more than khaki shorts on that rode dangerously low on his hips. There is not a girl alive that wouldn't gape at the sight before me. The smug smile on his face told me that he knows he is hot and loves to flaunt it. Guys like him make me sick, strutting around in next to nothing just to see a reaction to boost their ego.

I already know why Leah didn't want me to meet him, he is everything that I hate in men. I should have known that from the start, but that doesn't help with my fear of meeting him cause God knows it just makes the anxiety 100 times more potent.

"Like what you see huh?" He says arrogantly flashing me a smile.

I ignore him, probably shouldn't encourage his behavior around me maybe he'll stop I think trying to reign in my anger towards him and all males of the same persuasion.

"So Seth, What was your friends name again?" I say with obvious discust leaking out.

"Uh…" oops I caught Seth off guard, "Larke, Embry…Embry, Larke." He stammers finally remembering what I just asked.

"Great I met him can we go now?" I mumble looking at the cliff behind Embry.

"What's your rush you just got here I hope you like to take things a little slower than that?" Embry rattles off.

"Seth…" I sneer almost at a whisper.

"Sure, sure…Come on Em, Leah said something about making dinner soon." Seth says to my dismay. Inviting him to eat with us…ahhhh.

JPOV

I don't like the game Seth is playing with Larke, springing this on her. What I don't know is who is forcing Seth's hand to act out this ploy to meet her. I guess all I can to is wait here for them to return, hoping for the best.

I don't have to wait long before I see three figures walking down the beach towards us, it is obvious that Larke is leading the way with Seth and wait not Embry…behind her. I roll my eyes looking at Leah. She looks pissed.

"Hey L., can we go home now?" Larke walks past us and says.

"Yeah sure, wait up I'll walk with you." Leah says running past me towards her disgruntled friend.

"Embry..." I say cautiously as he approaches warning him, but as he and Seth get closer I begin to fear the worst.

"Jake its not what it looks like, don't get mad at me." Seth spits out nervously, observing that I'm mad at him.

"Seth, Embry, can you please tell me what you think you are doing?" I ask trying to ease into calm.

"Jake…" Embry starts but I cut him off.

"Embry what do you think your doing going behind our backs like this? Do you even realize the damage you could have done, she looked really upset." I need to calm down. I should have expected this from him but Seth how could he… "Explain, NOW." I order.

"I couldn't stay away from her she is MINE." Embry almost growls.

"What?" I say is disbelief.

"He saw her yesterday by accident Jake, no one was expecting her to be that far from he house last night." Seth states defensively.

"So instead of telling everyone you go behind my back and Sam's, not to mention Leah's." I yell, I look directly into Embry's eyes searching for something that would make this better, but I come up empty.

Embry may be one of my closest pack brothers but he is defiantly not ready for this. Everything that is Embry screams arrogant jerk when he is around women. I mean to call Larke HIS in such a possessive way has me a little afraid of his actions.


	12. Chapter 12

**thanks for the reviews i updated though i had a bit of writers block trying to figure out how everyone should react and all well this is what i came up with enjoy**

Jakes POV

My brain is in overload, I have to make a decision. I look into my friend's eyes searching for an answer to the situation. I see fear in his eyes, what is he afraid of? Should I put my friend's feeling ahead of what I think is right…should I take the road I know may lead to destruction or take the route that I know is expected of me. No matter where the three of us go from here, I know emotions will run high, possibly out of anyone's control.

Decision time, I must voice what we will do because as much as I want to stop time and figure things out Embry is about to slip beyond rational thought.

"Let's go talk to Sam, Embry," I say as I slap him on the shoulder reassuringly, "Seth go home."

"Okay call if you need us." Seth says running towards his house.

"What were you thinking Em?" I ask quietly.

"I don't think I was Jake…I just didn't know what to do. I'm not suppose to feel like this, I mean it's not anything how the guys described it."

"This is why you blew off patrols today." I say shaking my head. "You could have told us man, it is nothing to be ashamed of, you should be happy."

"That's just it I feel happy that I imprinted, but it's not right I don't know how to describe it."

"Okay, lets just get this over with so we can go get some dinner," I say trying to cheer up the sullen Embry.

He seems out of it for some reason the same reason he felt like he had to hide this from us, his brothers, his pack. The steps up to Sam and Emily's seem to make the lump in my throat that much bigger, and I wasn't even the one Sam would be mad at.

"Sam…" I say opening the old wooden screen door that led into the kitchen. Embry follows although he seems hesitant.

"What brings you around Jake?...Embry" Emily says from the kitchen. "Sam's in the living room."

"Uh, Sam, We need to talk to you…well Embry does actually." I say pushing Embry into the living room in front of me.

Although I have known Sam for a while now I still feel intimated by him. As much as he has been around to help us as our Alpha of the pack, the idea that he can command us makes dread arise within me knowing that my free will my one day be taken away again with one command. Don't get me wrong Sam is a good man but he has a temper just like the rest of us, no matter how calm and reserved he appears on the outside.

Sam eyes both of us suspiciously knowing all too well that something is up.

"You missed patrol this morning." Sam states to Embry. Embry just nods his head.

I knock my arm into Embry's shoulder trying to give him the courage he needs to speak.

Talking to Sam is so much easier in wolf form, that way it is all just out there in the open and all the awkwardness is set aside.

"Uh…you see Sam…I was…well last night…" Embry stammered, "I imprinted," he continued at a very faint whisper.

"Congrats," Sam says standing and slapping Embry on the back, "But that is no excuse to miss patrol, and who's the lucky lady? Where did you find her?"

Neither one of us looked at him for a moment.

"Uh, Sam could we all just go for a run, it would be so much easier for me to tell you when I don't have to speak?" Embry says practically reading my mind.

"What aren't you telling me?" Sam says as his smile disappears.

"Let's just go outside Sam." I say shoving my friend towards the back door.

Larkes PoV

"uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh, I hate people, I seriously do! I'm gonna be a hermit and live in a cave with only big dumb animals to keep me company!" I scream exasperated as we enter the house.

"awwww, Come on Larke you can't mean that I mean you can't even have a conversation with an animal." Leah retorts.

"That's just it I can have a better conversation with a mangy stray DOG than I can with any human." I huff as I jump onto the kitchen counter watching Leah gather stuff for dinner.

And what does my so called friend do but she laughs at me, come on.

"It's not funny!" I say under my breath trying to figure out what could be so humorous.

"I'm sorry Larke…It's just that's the last thing I expected you to say." Leah responds stifling another laugh.

"Well, L. what would be an appropriate response for me to have when one of your friends hits on me after forcing your brother to drag me down a dark deserted beach to meet him."

"Wait what he hit on you?" Leah says dropping what she was doing and turning around to stare at me. "What else did he say?"

"Nothing I told Seth I wanted to leave and he made an excuse for us to leave."

"Hey, you guys here?" Seth yells as we hear him walk into the house.

"Yeah, but you better keep your distance if you know what is good for you!" Leah yells.

"Yeah, well Jake and Em went to talk to Sam for a minute before they come back for dinner, just so you know what's going on and all." Seth says from the dinning room.

"What exactly do you mean coming to dinner?" Leah asks walking towards the dinning room to look at her brother.

"You know Embry, couldn't keep him away if you _tried._"


	13. Chapter 13

Larke's POV

The way Leah and Seth were talking in hushed overly calm tones has me a little on edge, and not to mention what Seth told me on the beach about nobody wanting me to meet Embry. Now he is coming to dinner tonight, not to mention that I find all of these boys…men to be extremely attractive. Being surrounded by hot guys always tends to make me a little more self-conscious, and more so when they don't bother to get dressed completely. I wonder if that is normal or if it was just cause we were at the beach.

I grab the plates counting on my fingers how many I need and decide that six is the right number. My brain is going to explode if I don't have a cigarette before dinner, I just need to calm down…did I tell you before how people I don't know terrify the crap out of me especially men who find it necessary to hit on me without even knowing me. There is nothing I can't stand more than a guy who walks up to a girl and starts A) complimenting her B) using some corny pick up lines or C) is arrogant about they way he looks expecting the world to drop to their knees for him. I have a feeling all three fit this Embry guy to the key.

"I'm gonna go out back for a smoke." I say to Leah as I head for the back door.

"You know smoking is bad for you case you didn't know." Seth pipes in with a disapproving look.

"Don't tell me you've never done anything that is bad for you." I say rolling my eyes.

"Nope I'm the perfect little angle everyone thinks I am." Seth replies with a wink.

I laugh and head out the door.

Jakes POV

After phasing back to our human selves I allow my brain to actually think about what Embry told us and find myself lost in the chaos that is his mind. He wasn't kidding when he said something didn't feel right. I just never imagined that something so great could feel so twisted. He is pretty conflicted about his thoughts with one side sensing that there should be a loving and devotion to her while the other side probably the more wolfish animalistic side wants to dominate and possess her in a not so loving way. The graphic images in his mind portrayed the struggle between the two sides of his mind, nothing can ever be easy for Embry I guess.

Sam was at a loss of what to do for the first time in many years and told us to keep him informed of Embry's actions. He didn't want to interfere if there was a way to avoid such circumstances. Sam said he would inform the pack, as to not necessarily alarm them, but so that there was more support for Em. With our everything being said as wolves Embry and I start our walk over to the Clearwater's for dinner.

"Hey Leah what's for dinner?" I call into the house as we arrive, trying my hardest to keep the mood light and as normal as possible.

"Hey guys why don't you just have a seat dinner isn't quite ready yet." Seth yells from the dinning room.

I look around the house looking for any indication of Leah's mood, I don't want to piss her off I mean I know what her can do and I am not looking forward to anything resembling the old Leah. I notice Larke is missing, I wonder if she is hiding upstairs, Seth doesn't seem to concerned about anything and Brady is sleeping on the couch. Leah is in the kitchen avoiding my eye, but I feel like I need to inform her although maybe Embry should.

I glance at Embry…he looks nervous; he is not the nervous type. I elbow him in the side and dart my eyes towards Leah, giving him a hint to talk to her. His eyes cast down and he walks out of the dinning room and into the living room and crashes on the floor against the far wall.

"Leah…" I sigh walking into the kitchen. "we need to talk privately."

"Seth watch dinner, lets go upstairs." Leah says dragging me by the wrist.

She drags me up the stairs and into her bedroom and shuts the door.

"Okay Jake what is going on…"

"Embry imprinted on Larke, but…" I trailed off, how do you tell someone about this no wonder Embry chickened out, plus he knew I would pick up the slack.

"But what is that why you had to go talk to Sam, I mean if he imprinted why didn't he just tell us all…its not like we would have kept him away."

"Its not that simple…he imprinted but he isn't right, something is wrong….I don't know if it is just him or what but keep an eye on him and Larke, I don't want him to hurt her."

"What do you mean hurt her? Embry can control himself just as well as the rest of us if not better, I don't think he would ever…"

"That's not what I mean, I mean he could get carried away with his emotions, his desires for her…it's a little scary Leah, it scared the shit out of me to be inside his mind when he was trying to tell us about it all."

"If it scared you why did you bring him here?" Leah asks walking away from me.

"I don't really want him angry, he knows what he feels, desires, is wrong. Leah, this is really eating him up inside, trying to repress his thoughts and keeping his actions in check. How would you feel if you wanted to hurt someone you loved?"

"Don't even ask me that Jake!" Leah says opening the door to her room and running down the stairs back to the kitchen.

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter let me know what you think of Embry...not quite sure how to get my ideas to become words hope you all understand whats going on let me know if you dont**


	14. Chapter 14

Larke's POV

Conversation has never been one of my strong points and the stress that accompanies it when those around you have some unspoken disagreement is daunting. Everyone at the dinner table is exhibiting some other emotion besides that of wanting to be here. Their body language tells it all. The five of them repeatedly glace at me or each other for some reason unbeknownst to me.

I can't stand the silence and the looks from them, damn them all. I exhale loudly, slam my fork into my plate, and walk out of the room without a word. The stairs pound loudly under my feet as I head towards me room.

Nothing could have prepared me for the wide range of emotions that I have experienced today, I am exhausted mentally, but physically I know I couldn't sleep a wink. Frustration being the most prevalent as of right now, followed largely by disappointment and dread. If this was how life is gonna be here I don't know if I should stay.

I turned on music, let it take over my mind, and drift into thoughts of the lyrics. The music takes me away form here, from the five mind-boggling people downstairs and away from myself and my thoughts.

The CD ends and I am left with an eerie silence. There are no voices, no TV sounds, nothing but utter silence. Everyone must have left or fallen asleep. The clock on the wall tells me it is late, 11:38 to be exact.

The door to my room creates a deafening screech, faulting all my plans of a quiet escape from my room. The light from my bedroom door floods the hall allowing me to steadily place my feet on the steeply inclined staircase. The darkness quickly overcomes me as I hastily slide onto the level entryway at the bottom of the stairs.

The silence is slowly replaced with the chirping of crickets sending my mind into a frenzy of chilling imagery from every horror film I have ever seen. Pushing those thoughts far away, I force my feet to keep moving towards my goal, the kitchen. My hasty departure from dinner left my stomach yearning for some relief.

My stomach pleading for a satisfying midnight snack beckons me towards the freezer with hopes of finding some chocolaty pleasures. My luck must be changing for my choices are plentiful. I select a pint of chocolate ice cream and grab a spoon. This is just what I need a peaceful evening snuggled upon the couch with more ice cream than I care to eat.

I settle into the couch and flip on the lamp on the side table, for ice cream requires that I can see where to place my spoon.

The light from the lamp floods the living room and a second later I gasp and drop the tub of ice cream.

"Hello, Larke." He says with a satisfied smirk and reaches down to grab the ice cream tub that I dropped.

"Are you trying to scare me to death?" I gasp as I take the ice cream from him.

"Not my sole intention, No…feeling better I imagine since you've ventured down."

I move away from him pushing myself against the armrest of the couch. I distract myself with taking the first bite of my ice cream, mentally kicking myself for coming downstairs in the first place. I will not run away I repeat in my mind, forcing myself to remain calm…hoping that I can handle this…right calm. I keep my eyes down avoiding the two dark ones that I know are watching me.

"Why are you still here?" I whisper.

"I've been waiting for you, of course." He smiles, "you ran off before I had a chance to talk with you…so I thought I would wait until you had no where to run to."

"I can still run from you…" I utter, what makes him so sure I have no where to run.

"But you won't." He says as if he is amused. "because if you do there is no one to stop me from following this time."

My eyes reflexively dart towards him. I force myself to swallow slowly hoping to quell the fear within me. I catch his eye for the first time, but quickly look away.

"Do I frighten you, Larke?" He asks in a calmer voice almost sincere.

"Yes, Embry, in fact you do…you were hiding in a dark room waiting for me in the off chance that I would come downstairs tonight, if that doesn't scare me what should." I say taking another bite of my ice cream to calm myself again.

"It has never been my intention to scare you…although now that I have I find it oddly satisfying, but alas I also do not want to make you hate me so if you wish I shall attempt to refrain from scaring you." He says quietly but add much quieter probably thinking that I can't hear him, "at least for now."

"What did you want to talk to me about?" I say swirling my spoon in the ice cream tub.

He moves closer to me on the couch, too close if you ask me.

"I thought you didn't want to scare me." I squeak as I press myself further into the armrest.

"Sorry…" He looks down and closes his eyes as if he is trying to figure out what he did wrong.

"It's just that I don't do to well with people I don't know and sitting here now with you is taking a lot out of me so if you want to talk to me could you please sit over there or somewhere that is not so close." I had to say something I feel bad making this guy no matter how bad and annoying he is upset, I mean he is one of Leah's friends and that means he can't be all that bad…right.

He tentatively moves back about two feet, sits Indian style on the couch facing me, and places his elbows on his knees. Maybe I should humor him…talk with him, maybe he will decide that I am boring and go away he seems like the type that like easy girls that will give it up at the sight of his rippling chest. Girls like me do not necessarily attract guys that look like him unless their drunk and looking for a good time—in that case their barking up the wrong tree.

I decide to mimic his posture and turn to face him, but I keep my eyes on my ice cream, which is now melting into a large chocolate puddle.

"Are you gonna eat that?" Embry says pointing at my melted ice cream.

I laugh I couldn't help it, what is with these guys and food.

"No, do you want it…" I say offering him the melted cardboard tub which no surprise he takes and gulps down the contents within seconds.

"Thanks…so uh why did you run away from me at the beach earlier?"

"Because believe it or not, not all girls go for the arrogant asshole vibe you put out…I've know way too many guys like you."

"Guys like me huh…what type of guy am I?" He laughs.

"You know what type of guy you are…you use girls for nothing other than a good time in bed, it's written all over your face."

"Well, I don't just have a healthy appetite for food you know…what else am I suppose to do?"

Uh he is defending what he does.

"It's not like anyone gets hurt girls know I'm just in it for the sex, you know a one night stand, no strings attached."

Unbelievable…more arguments well I guess I knew plenty of girls at school who just wanted the same, but hearing a guy defend his point of view is weird I guess.

"It's not really what you do that bothers me I guess its how you act because of it." I clarify.

He frowns at me, like I care if he is sad, a frown what does that mean anyway.

"You know you're cute when you're trying to be outraged." He laughs.

"What do you mean trying? I do not like you or the way you act so I'm not trying to be anything."

He rolls his eyes at me as I say this.

"You know talking to you isn't as hard as I thought it would be, considering you exhibit every quality that I loathe in a guy," He smiles at me and I continue, "must be because of that…you know no pressure could careless if you ever talk to me again."

His smile disappears and he tenses up.

"One more question before I allow you to go back to bed…Do you mind if I come around when you are here? He says this as he closes his eyes.

I stand up from the couch not wanting him to ask another question before I can escape to my bedroom.

"No…I don't think I mind as long as you keep your distance, you know personal space is a pet peeve of mine."

What did I just do? I could have told him no, I don't want you around…but I can't do that he is Leah, Seth, and Brady's friend. I am not gonna come between friends like that, I don't care how annoying he is, how arrogant he is, or how scary he is. I will have to ask Leah about him, maybe he is harmless, but he sure terrified me tonight. Sleep is a must…I will sort this out tomorrow.

**Finally got to some Embry/Larke interaction huh hope you enjoyed.**


	15. Chapter 15

Jake's POV

Embry is shaking with a look of pained confusion on his face. Larke just stormed out of the room without so much as a word to any of us.

"Calm down, man she's just stressed." I say trying to calm my friend.

"I know but it is just so hard knowing I'm part of the cause." Embry mumbles pushing the food around on his plate.

"Part of it yeah right, Embry more like the main cause." Leah exclaims shoving her plate across the table.

"Look I know I screwed up, but I just wasn't clearly thinking…"

Leah cuts Embry off, "Thinking is that what you were trying to do…maybe you should just forget about Larke and go back to that bar you love so much. You know the one with all the whores throwing themselves at your feet."

"I can't" Embry whispers almost inaudibly.

"Leah don't be like this…" I say.

"How am I suppose to act Jake, when you tell me that Embry, is some bipolar schizo nutcase that imprinted on my best friend." Leah yells slamming her dinner plate into the sink. "not to mention Embry you are the epitome of everything Larke hates in men.

"She hates me…" Embry mutters to himself.

"I think that you would be supportive you've know Em and me for how long now, you know me and you know Embry. If you can't trust us on our word alone I'm sure you'll get the play by play during patrols. It's not like Embry can keep secrets as much as we would all like him to have that ability it is clearly beyond him."

"I know." Leah says a little calmer now.

"Come on Embry, we really need to talk." I say tapping him on his shoulder waking him from the mindless daze he had settled into.

"Huh, uh Yeah…" He says following me out the back door absentmindedly.

"She doesn't hate you, Em…" I sigh

"How the fuck do you know what she thinks!" Embry yells

"I don't know but you can't just give up, she's your imprint for Christ's sake. Regardless of whether she likes you or not you can't live without her…"

"You think I don't know that Jake, I'm seriously messed up right now…every other thought in my head makes me cringe depending on what state of mind I am in. The thought of loving her, protecting her, caring for her even those thoughts I have found myself recoiling at certain moments. I don't know what is wrong with me Jake, it's not suppose to be like this…how can I live with myself knowing that some part of me wants to force myself on her and control her every action like some kind of sadistic maniac."

"Embry you can get past this…I know deep down you love her and wouldn't let anything bad happen to her…"

"You don't know what it is like, it is mind numbing the way I feel when I can't control myself it is like something creeps up inside my mind and forces my rational thoughts far away so that it takes every ounce of my being to pull myself together just to stop."

"I don't know what I would have done if Seth hadn't found me last night…" Embry whispered turning away from me.

"He did and you have all of us for support Embry…trust me, trust the pack, and trust yourself to be able to handle this."

"Why can't my life just be simple, every time I think I am just cruising down a straight road there it come a curve in the road, and I just can't slow down I have charge forward at full throttle and endure the consequences. I wish for once I could just heed the caution signs."

"Well, caution has never really been your thing…I'll see ya tomorrow, don't do anything I wouldn't do." I warn as I head towards me house to hit the sack while I'm sure Embry is headed back over to the Clearwater's.

Larke's POV

I open my eyes and squint at the blinding sun pouring into my window. Morning definitely came much too quickly…how long was I actually up talking to Embry last night? Just the memory of that conversation has my mind reeling. What did he mean that he found scaring me satisfying? Does he get off on making me afraid and mad?

What kind of guy is he really…some dormant psychopathic killer just waiting for the something to send him over the edge, you know I read about people like that some simple event can set them off and the next thing you know poof your at the wrong end of a sawed off shotgun. Hmmm…would he use a shotgun I think he is more of a bare hands kind of killer…but then again for a while last night I got the feeling that he wanted to kiss me, oh gosh bad mental image…necrophilia is not my thing.

My thoughts are so deranged maybe I'm the psychopath here.

I take a long deep breath…I hope Leah is down stairs I need to talk to her about a certain elusive man hiding in the darken shadows of the house.

"Morning." I mumble as I trod into the kitchen and find Leah making enough eggs to feed an army.

"Good morning, are you hungry?"

"I'm starved; my midnight snack didn't go so well last night, barely got in two bites." I laugh remembering where the rest of the ice cream ended up.

"Am I missing a joke or something…" Leah inquires giving me a funny look.

"Not really, just an awkward conversation I had with one of your deranged friends."

"And by deranged you mean Embry, did he bother you last night? I'll kick his ass…"

"Yeah, but you don't have to kick his ass, just tell him not to play the role of creepy stalker dude anymore, its kind of unnerving to say the least."

"What did he do? I didn't here you scream last night so it must not have been that bad."

I launch into the story of my night hoping she could offer me some vague insight into what her so-called friend was thinking.

"You actually talked to him without running out of the room or having a panic attack!" Leah exclaims when I finish.

"It was really hard, my brain was having a panic attack without my body if that makes sense, I mean he scared the shit out of me…I mean even before I talked to him I had already scared myself. Random images of scary movies raced in my mind as I walked through the dark house and to find out that someone was watching me, I nearly had a heart attack."

"You can turn on lights you know." Leah says sarcastically, "It's time to eat."

With those fateful words the back door slams open and Jake, Embry, and Brady rush in and are seated at the table before I have time to respond to the loud crash of the door.


	16. Chapter 16

Jake's POV

It has been a week now since I found out the Embry imprinted on Larke. Embry as far as I know has not said for that a few words to her since he scared her to death that first night. I have tried to be supportive, but jealousy is a strong emotion when concerning your imprint, according to Embry at least. He is having a hard time understanding why Larke is more open to me than him and to put it nicely he is not taking it well at all.

He was livid yesterday when he came to the house after patrol and found Larke and I goofing around in the kitchen. She was making dinner...mmmm...it was a good dinner too and I was sneaking bits and pieces away while she prepared it. Long story short Embry about dragged me out of the house and into the woods before he burst into his wolfish jealousy ridden self. When we came back in for dinner an hour later, both of us were showing signs of the skirmish, and Larke thankfully seemed oblivious to the whole spat being about her.

I am at Sam and Emily's house waiting for the arrival of everyone so that Sam can share his information about what he believes Embry's problem is. In my opinion, Embry does not need everyone to obsess over this, but not everyone in the pack is as understanding as Sam and I have been. The other guys with imprints freaked upon hearing the information, but are attempting to hold back their emotions for Embry's sake. Sam threw himself into research, of what nature I do not reckon I know. He said he talked with the elders and consulted the old legends that may have be forgotten, but where else could he get information it's not likely the local library has a section on werewolf imprinting behavior.

Quil and Jared had arrived shortly after Embry and me and keep staring at Embry as if he has horns growing out of his head. Leah is still undecided about the whole situation, but I believe she is coming around since Larke despite all odds does not seem to mind having Embry around, but still keeps her distance like he is a disease ridden mutt.

Paul is the last to arrive since he just finished with evening patrols. Paul grabs a large plate of food and flops himself down in the living room with the rest of us. The small conversations we were having die down almost immediately and an awkward silence fills the room as Sam clears his throat to speak.

"I know you all know why were here and regardless of your own personal opinions on this matter I hope you can all keep an open mind." He says this eyeing Quil and Jared who have been the most outspoken about what they think.

Embry looks rather nervous and everyone knows it just from being in the room. His heartbeat is erratic, there is sweat on his brow, and the normal laid back Embry Call is fidgeting and tense.

"I have talked to the elders, researched our history, to find nothing of this nature ever mentioned...although that is not to say that it has never occurred before. As you all very well know the wolf spirit is very much a part of our being as the spirit of man. A wolf's nature is to dominate; this is also shown elsewhere in our pack as we have an Alpha, a leader who is dominate over all of you."

"When a wolf finds his mate a wolf is dominate over her and I think this is part of the reasons why Embry is having such desires. The wolf spirit desires control and submission from his mate whereas the man spirit wants to adore and love and protect her above everything else."

"All of us have this within ourselves none of you that have imprinted can tell me their isn't a part of you that flares when you tell your imprint to do something and they tell you no. I know I have seen it, experienced it myself and through your eyes; the wolf is alive in all of us." Sam says this last part with obvious hurt in his eyes.

"We need to pull together and not be divided when one of our pack is struggling, put yourselves in his shoes, and then tell me you still feel the same. Embry your road in life has always been rough, I know you can get through this, we are all here for you regardless of your own prejudices."

The room is deadly silent. All eyes are on Embry who's eyes are closed tightly. Slowly Sam walks towards Embry and smacks him on the back as a reassurance and walks out of the room. The room slowly empties as everyone gives their reassurances in their own way to Embry and turn to leave. Soon it is just Jared, Quil, Embry, and I standing in the middle of the living room.

"Em, I'm sorry I was so hard on you." Quil says and gives Embry a manly one-armed hug. "I'm here for you, man."

"Yeah, I mean I shouldn't be trying to tear you down." Jared replies.

"Thanks." Embry mumbles nervously probably still not to sure about this whole thing himself.

"You guys should come by next week and meet her." I say. "maybe it'll help if you bring Kim around Jared."

"Sure, I'll have Kim call Leah and see what is going on." He replies as he heads for the back door.

"So I guess its not like you imagined it huh Em," Quil laughs trying to lighten the mood.

"No far from it...but its nothing like any of you described either." Embry says dismissively.

Larke's POV

I have been living here in La Push now for about a week; I don't really know what to make of living here so far. I mean am I suppose to get use to half naked men walking around the house at all hours of the day and night and there are only four of them that are allowed here so far. What is gonna happen when the rest of them are allowed here? Eeeek

I am getting use to living here for the most part; I enjoy cooking because it makes me feel good when everyone looks at me intently as I tell them its time to eat. Makes me feel even better when there aren't any leftovers ever.

Jake is around here more than Seth and Brady and they live here, I know Leah told me that but it is kinda weird. I have fun with Jake he is easy to get along with, except when I say something stupid that seems to offend him some how. At times, I still feel uneasy around him, it is like he knows that secret about my life that I don't want anyone to know. I wish that he wasn't so damn observant.

Embry has been around all week too, but I guess he took my warning to keep his distance to heart cause he barely speaks to me. I catch him staring at me a lot. He gets this look in his eyes, searching for something so to speak. I don't understand him...it's like I he got a lobotomy or something when he talks to me. Leah told me not to worry about it that he is just going through some stuff right now and he isn't himself.

He isn't himself, I guess that is why him and Jake have been fighting. Yesterday Embry came into the house and literally dragged Jake into the woods for no reason what so ever. I guess Jake really did something that morning to piss him off, I never want to be on Embry's bad side if that is how he treats his best friend when he is mad at him.

Jake told me Embry just needs to get laid. You can't tell me he has a problem with that just look at the guy and from what I have heard that isn't the problem. Wonder what is?

Everyone left me tonight, something about a tribal meeting or something like that. Everyone looked worried when they left, guess something major is going on if they are all so concerned about talking about it. I turn on music and hope for sleep the one thing I can't seem to do this week is sleep, it is like something is missing or something is preventing me from finding peace of mind as I relax. Must be restless leg syndrome or something, think I heard about that on TV the other day.


	17. Chapter 17

Jake's POV

Today is Tuesday, not that it matters much all the days tend to run together I can't keep them straight unless something is going on. That is why I know that its Tuesday, Jared and Kim are coming over to hang out and have dinner with us. I hope everything goes great I really truly want Larke to fit in especially now since Embry imprinted on her.

Embry's jealousy is getting on my nerves, I am not about to start ignoring Larke just because he doesn't have the balls to talk to her. I don't know what Embry thinks I am trying to pull, but there is no way I'm trying to steal her from him. I decided that I should try and make a conscious effort to bring those two closer, Embry seriously needs help he is walking around like a love struck preteen that has no clue about girls. The Embry I know could talk the ears off an elephant without so much as a second thought.

Tonight we were cooking out around the fire, trying to keep the mood casual, sitting around in lawn chairs and on the ground has a way of relaxing people. The menu is Larke's creation, something they do in Ohio I guess, never heard of cooking the main course quite the way she described. She caught on to our large appetites and has assured us that there will be plenty of food although I have my doubts.

Everyone that was coming the five of us Larke knows and Kim and Jared are to arrive around 6 tonight. Larke has pushed Embry and me out of the kitchen with two bags of chips and told us to stay away that she was preparing the food. Everyone else was out somewhere, who knows.

About an hour after we were banished from the kitchen I get a bright idea.

"Hey Embry, why don't you go bug Larke a bit, you know go see what she's doing?" I say lifting my eyebrows high in the air.

He looks at me in shock, his eyes widen as he looks at the kitchen.

"Come on, she has to be use to you now, just go in there like you need to get something to drink and be nosey. You know how to do this Embry…don't play stupid…" I chide him.

"Okay, Okay I am thirsty…" He mumbles as he makes his way slowly into the kitchen.

Larke's POV

Well tonight, we are having a cook out in the backyard and Leah invited one of her female friends and her boyfriend over. I cringe knowing I have to meet new people, but I relax knowing that everyone I know will be there and this allows me to function. I have really relaxed into being around Seth and Brady, like Leah said they are the idea of little brother types. I find myself laughing at them over the stupidest conversations those two have with each other. It is comforting to know that despite my reservations of coming here I can't imagine leaving. Leah could have told me that I was meeting the rest of her crew and I don't think I would have objected at this point. I however, am not about to tell her that due to the fact that the mere thought terrifies me to the most extreme.

I have been put in charge of cooking this evening, I told Leah that it would keep my mind occupied and thus reduce my stress. I thought that I would cook all my favorite cook out foods for them. I decided on onion burgers, which are cooked by shoving the meat into an onion and wrapping it in tinfoil and throwing it into the coals. S'mores of course is the desert, what is a cook out without s'mores. The other part of dinner would have to be baked potatoes with a twist. The twist is that prior to baking them in the coals I cut them in half and place bacon, chives, cream cheese and my secret blend of herbs and spices in the middle before wrapping them in tinfoil.

I wanted to get all the food wrapped in the tinfoil early enough so that the tinfoil balls could all just be placed in the fire whenever someone was hungry and I had a lot of tinfoil balls to make. I was estimating about 4 burgers apiece since they guys seem to have as large of an appetite as Leah does and about 3 baked potatoes each. The S'mores everyone could just fight over later. If my math is correct, I would have about 100 or so balls that could be cooked in the fires at some point tonight, good thing the potatoes are already cooked through so that they will just have to be reheated.

I have been working on the onion burgers for about an hour now, I have about 6 more to go and boy am I getting sick of onions. I had kicked Jake and Embry out of the kitchen earlier, I didn't want them to steal any of the ingredients for the potatoes since I had to cook the bacon in a skillet. I finally wrap the last onion burger in tinfoil, and I let out an exasperated sigh and throw the tinfoil ball in the bucket across the kitchen.

Instead of the plop that I had heard for the last hour of making them I head a thwack and I immediately turn to see Embry standing in the middle of the kitchen with the onion burger ball in his hand. I must have hit him with it.

I can't help myself, I laugh, and he just stands there with a confused expression on his face.

"I'm sorry Embry." I manage to say in between my laughing turning to giggles as I realize what I just did.

"Are you trying to kill me with this?" Embry says finally finding his voice. I stop giggling thinking he might be mad, but when I look at him he is smiling.

"Wasn't my intention, your not suppose to be in the kitchen remember." I say poking him in the chest and taking the tinfoil ball from him to place in the bucket with the rest.

"Sorry I needed something to drink, what are all these anyway?" He says looking into the bucket.

"That's dinner, remember I'm cooking in here, kitchen, food, and if you don't mind you're distracting me from my work." I say turning my back to him.

"Distracting you huh…" Embry says sounding amused, "What about me is so distracting?" He grabs a soda from the fridge and hops upon the counter in my peripheral line of sight.

I am silent I don't want to eg him on, but I can't help but look at him sitting there drinking a soda as I start making the baked potatoes.

"Those look really good." He says after he caught me looking at him for the third time.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, why does he irk me so much? This is the first time he has said more then two words to me since that night, and I just want to run out of the room screaming. Screaming what I haven't decided yet…but I defiantly want to scream something.

I open my eyes and turn directly towards him and say, " If you don't get your ass out of this kitchen you are going to have to explain to 6 very hungry friends of yours why there is not enough food to eat." I smile hoping he gets my message, but he just stares at me.

"Embry…" I say holding back my anger for the moment; I grab his hand and try to drag him off the counter. The warmth from the palm of his hand doesn't surprise me, it must be a genetic thing with the natives around here I concluded sometime last week. He doesn't budge and I turn, "Could you just pretend that you're not some overly muscled Neanderthal and let me drag you out of the kitchen." I give him a pleading smile.

He smiles at my joke and hops off the counter and allows me to drag him into the living room.

"Here Jake, do me a favor and keep your best friend in here until I'm finished or neither of you will be getting any dinner, I can't work with him watching me." I say as I turn and head back to the kitchen.

**I wasn't going to stop this chapter so soon but didn't want to finish the whole cookout yet not quite sure whos pov would work best i guess ill have to sleep on it. **


	18. Chapter 18

Jake's POV

The fire that Embry and I managed to construct is blazing and in its full glory. Seth and Brady appear within minutes of the fire roaring, who can resist playing with fire. We throw as much wood onto the fire as we possibly can, hoping for a bunch of coals to make a cooking fire for dinner. Bigger and brighter equals more coals at least that is my reasoning on the subject.

"So Em, you gonna fill us in on what was goin' on in the kitchen with you and Larke?" I say loud enough so that Seth and Brady can hear.

"It was nothing…" Embry says fighting a smile.

"Sure, Sure, nothing." Seth says shoving Embry with his shoulder.

"That's not what it sounded like when you let her drag you back into the living room." I say eging on the other two to tease him.

"You actually talked to her today! About time." Brady laughs.

"Yeah we were all beginning to think you never would, thought you'd gone mute on us."

"Shut up Seth." Embry growls.

"Awwww come on, you'd be the last one that I'd ever expect to be shy around a girl."

"Leave him alone Brady, I wouldn't want him to relapse into the sulking angry wolf boy he was earlier this week."

"I'll be back." Embry says suddenly.

"Come on Embry don't be mad, everyone is gonna be here soon."

"I know…if you must know I'm gonna go shower and change."

Our laughter erupts before he has even left the backyard. I guess he wants to look nice for her hmmm, I wonder what did actually happen in the kitchen earlier.

Not even 20 minutes later Seth and I spot Embry walking across the lawn sporting a not so Embry look, he actually has on a t-shirt and jeans instead of his normal cutoffs. I smile at Seth and tell him that it might be better if we all actually put on shirts for a change. Seth laughs and heads into the house to scrounge up something for us to wear hopefully their clean. Embry and I follow shortly after leaving Brady to tend the fire.

"Hey anyone home." Jared yells from the front door.

Seth comes bounding down the stairs with a white wife beater on as Jared and Kim creep into the house. Seth tosses me a dark green t-shirt that I quickly pull over my upper body.

"Hey I didn't know you all were dressing up." Jared laughs eyeing our not so elegant attire.

"Yeah, well we can't all have such great taste in shirts like you Jared."

Jared and Quil more than the rest of us tend to walk around fully clothed; something about parents getting the wrong impression. Imprinting sure can do strange stuff to a guy.

Quil acts more like an obsessive older brother, wanting to hang out with Claire more than girls our age and Embry, ladies man extraordinaire, acting like he doesn't have a clue. I hope if I imprint someday I can hold on to my sanity.

"Hey you guys can you take the 3 buckets from the kitchen and bring them out to the fire, we'll be down in a few." Leah yells from the top of the stairs. "hey, Kim why don't you come up and meet Larke."

"Sure, see ya outside hun, Kim says embracing him before heading up he staircase.

Larke's POV

After I finished preparations, I headed upstairs to relax before Leah's friends would come over. I am a little nervous about people I don't know eating food I prepared, although I haven't had much time to think about how nervous I am since I was busy all afternoon. Everything went great today except that awkward 15 minutes where Embry distracted me, why was he even bugging me again today?

I close my eyes and fall back onto my bed, NO… I open them immediately I can not be thinking about him, he is vile. Was I flirting with him today in the kitchen? Uh-oh, I think I was flirting with him…I roll my eyes at my thoughts.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh." I let out an infuriated growl.

"What was that for?" Leah comes bouncing into my room smirking at me.

I roll my eyes at her. "Nothing, I'm just frustrated with myself that's all."

"Really what did you do to yourself to become frustrated, huh…come on tell me, it'll make you feel better." Leah says dragging me over to my bed next to the window.

I sigh and look out the window hoping to escape her 'girl talk' that she most certainly wants to have. The fire in the backyard isn't the first thing to catch my attention as I gaze out it, but rather the 3 large muscled men parading around without shirts. Of course nothing escapes Leah as she catches my eyes darting after her muscled friends.

"So…"She says as I tear my eyes away from the window.

"Looks like a nice fire they have going." I say deterring my thoughts.

"Yeah, but which pyro were you actually gawking at." Leah says being blunt as usual.

"L. I was not gawking, I was just inspecting the fire, didn't want to have to worry if it will be hot enough."

"Come on just tell me, I know that's what your all bent out of shape about."

I look back out the window only to see that Embry as vacated the backyard, maybe he decided he wasn't hungry. I flop back down onto the bed hoping Leah doesn't guess who I was eyeing below. I don't want to admit to anyone that I find him more attractive than the other 3 of Leah's friends that I know.

Embry clearly is not the type of guy I need to be around, he is a jerk, sex freak with mental problems. How do I know he has mental problems? I am not an idiot, I overheard Leah and Seth discussing him the other night. I heard words like aggression, dominance, and sex fiend. None of those words are anything I want a part of, the guy clearly has issues.

I am too much of a chicken to ask Leah what they were actually talking about and how those words relate to her friend.

"Okay, I'm gonna guess that since your not looking anymore and Em is clearly gone that you were ogling him." Leah says almost too casually.

"I was not!" I almost shout shocked that she could accuse me of that.

She smirks at me. "Okay, okay I'm not gonna force you to confess, what are you gonna wear tonight?"

"I don't know, but I should probably change I smell like onions and chives." I groan.

I look through my closet absently wondering what I should wear. Is it gonna get colder, hmmm, I wonder. I decide on a pair of comfy jeans and a tank top with a zip up hoodie, layers are good considering if I get too warm by the fire I can take off my hoodie. I hear Leah yell something down the stairs and head towards my door wondering what is going on.

"Hey Larke, this is my friend Kim." Leah says when I exit my room.

"Hi, it's nice too meet one of Leah's friends that aren't 6 foot something." I laugh thinking of all the other differences I could have pointed out instead.

"Hi." She says quietly.

I think great someone else that is quiet; I wonder how she holds her own among the rest of them. I will have to get some pointers from her.

"Well, lets head outside, I'm sure the guys have the bucket outback by now so you can show us how to cook them." Leah says taking the lead down the stairs.

I walk outside and notice immediately that all the guys have shirts on, wow, what a difference that is. Once I instruct on how the food is cooked in the fire Seth and Brady take over thankfully. Kim introduces me to her boyfriend, Jared, who seems nice and unintimidating probably because he is Kim's and if she can handle such a large man he must really be a sheep in wolf's clothing.

I take a seat on a blanket spread across the ground and try and relax, although I know most of the people here my nerves seem to take control of my mind. I concentrate on my breathing as I look at everyone around me, laughing, talking, having fun. I feel as though I am watching a hazy seen in a movie, you know where the music is playing loud and the camera pans the party, but nothing is making much sense. I close my eyes hoping to pull myself out of what I am hoping is not a panic attack, my nails dig into my wrist of my left hand, and I feel my mind slowly releasing itself from foreboding emotions that have reeked havoc on my conscious thoughts.

I open my eyes to see everyone staring at me. Great I think now everyone knows I crazy.

I close my eyes and fall backwards on the blanket only to realize that I didn't hit the ground, but I hit someone's legs. I wince, trying to remember who I didn't see staring at me, but I have no luck if I want to know I have to open my eyes.

I open them slowly fearing the worst, and the worst is just that real life.

"Sorry." I shriek as I realize that I have my head in Embry's lap. I sit up much too quickly and manage to bump my head on the lawn chair on my left side. "Shit."

"Relax." I hear someone say as I settle myself into a sitting position rubbing my tender scalp. I feel mortified, everything felt like it happened in slow motion. "I need something to drink." I say quickly and rush towards the house.

I manage to get to the fridge and to the cans of soda before I feel the need to sit down. I slide down the cabinets and to the floor where I exhale loudly before I open my can of soda.

Alone, my breathing is not normal, my pulse is very fast, and I feel like a complete ass. I close my eyes again, why did this have to happen now I have been trying so hard to be normal this past week. I haven't had any mind numb events in front of anyone, I have managed to remove myself from onlookers or have stopped myself before I made a fool out of myself. I don't want anyone to know what is going on in my head when I zone out…I don't want them to look at me like I am crazy, Jake already knows too much.

Footsteps…someone followed me into the house…who I don't want to know. I bring my soda can to my lips slowly keeping my eyes closed and take a long slow sip focusing on the tingling sensation as the carbonation hits my throat.

"Are you just going to pretend I'm not here?" The last voice I thought I would here says.

"mmmmhmmm." I say nodding and internally pleading he would go away.

"Are you okay?" He asks me. "What happened?"

"You're not gonna go away are you?" I sigh.

"No, not until you come back outside with me."

I open my eyes and look up at Embry standing in the dinning room like he is scared to come any closer to me. I must have freaked everyone out I think.

"Sorry, I wasn't expecting, I just…I got scared everything was just a blur and I panicked." I say looking at the edge of my soda can.

"Does that happen often?" He asks quietly.

Why would he want to know? "No." I lie. "Come on the food is gonna burn." I say standing up and walking past him towards the back door and into the yard.

To my surprise, the boys have almost all the onion burgers and potatoes out of the fire and back into the metal buckets.

"Impressive, and I thought ya'll would have burned dinner by now." I say smiling at Seth who just dropped a burger back into the coals.

"Just following instructions." Seth says.

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"That was wonderful." Embry states as he finishes off his fifth potato.

"Thanks." I mumble quietly.

"Hey, lets play a game." Jake says suddenly.

"I hate games." I say quietly hoping no one heard me I don't want to be a party pooper.

"I know a great game." Kim says. "It is called 'Two truths and a lie' and it is played just like it sounds, everyone goes around the circle and tells two truths and a lie about themselves and the rest of us have to guess which are which."

Everyone seems very enthusiastic about this game; I put on a fake smile and decide that it can't be too bad.

"Okay I think that Leah should do first." I say hoping to make Leah uncomfortable. "and I don't want to hear something lame L." I smirk at her.

"Sure, um I was a sex maniac in college, I have only fallen in love once, and I hate avocadoes." Leah says proudly smirking the entire time.

Everyone was deadly silent as she was talking, I guess she shocked them all.

"So Larke which do you think is the lie." Jared asks.

I laugh only because I know which is the lie, but I don't want to give it away. "I take the fifth." I say blushing cause everyone is staring at me again. " How bout we don't guess which is a lie…I think it'll be more fun if we wait till the end and if someone really wants to know they can ask that person individually."

Everyone agrees with me, but I think reluctantly.

"Okay Jake you next." Leah says.

"Uh…I ran over a dog yesterday with my car, I love the smell of strawberries, and I secretly have been sneaking into Leah's bed at night." Jake says with a straight face all the way through.

"Larke your turn." Jake says.

"Okay…" I pause not knowing what to say. " I was a did drugs in high school, I have only ever let a guy get to second base with me, and I had a 4.0 gpa when I was in college."

Everyone was silent again, maybe they were trying to figure me out too. I laugh trying to break the silence.

"I'll go," Kim says. "I have always wanted to dye my hair blonde, my mom caught Jared and I in the shower together last night, and in high school I had the biggest crush on Jared before he ever noticed me…Your turn Embry."

"I…uh I walked into a wall today cause I wasn't paying attention, I have a wart the size of my eyeball on my thigh, and today is the first day that I have been happy for awhile." He says smiling.

The rest of the group says their two truths and a lie as everyone gasps and laughs at their absurd confessions. I just hope nobody wants to know what my lie was. The night is dwindling down, Jared and Kim head home and Seth and Brady head off to work, leaving me, Leah, Jake, and Embry sitting around the fire staring into the orange flames.

"So Leah, Which one of your statements was a lie?" Embry asks smiling at her.

Leah sighs, "The first one was the lie."

I laugh.

"What's so funny Larke, which one of your statements was the lie?" Leah asks.

I gasp and glare at her. "Guess, I dare you." I say scowling.

"What too scared just to tell us?" Jake asks acting innocent.

"No, I just am curious what you guys think, based on what you know of me, so Jake, Embry make a guess." I taunt them knowing that Leah might already know.

"Okay, the first one." Jake says.

"Embry?"

"The second one." Embry answers shocking me a little.

"Leah…which one is the lie?" I ask knowing from her expression that she already knows.

"Well Larke, what can I say you were never the best student." She says as I avoid looking at anyone knowing my cheeks are bright red. I mean come on I just admitting to two very hot guys that I am a prude, not to mention the fact that I was a druggie. How can I be suck a sinner and so innocent at the same time I must be crazy.

Unwelcomed silence once again making me uncomfortable as we speak and I don't even want to know what lies the two males told tonight that would be way to much information if you ask me. I fall back onto my back still feeling embarrassed, as the silence continues.

"Hey Jake, help me put some of these chairs away, so we don't have such a large mess to clean up in the morning." Leah says standing up.

Uh-oh I realize her ploy, she is leaving me alone with Embry…I almost jump up to help but Leah's eye catches mine telling me if I get up she will make me pay. I shutter at the thought of what she would do to embarrass me further.

Jake and Leah proceed to take away all the chairs including the one Embry was sitting in, leaving him standing by the fire looking slightly annoyed.

**Sorry really long chapter hope you enjoyed stopped it at a cliffy huh what are they gonna do **


	19. Chapter 19

Larke's POV

I peek up at Embry still poised by the fire looking like he is deliberating something, and I can't help but laugh at the sight he looks so serious.

"What are you laughing at?" He mumbles insecurely.

"Nothing, but you know I won't run away if you sit on the blanket with me…" I say letting him know he can come closer a 8 foot radius around me isn't necessary.

He tentatively takes one step forward carefully judging my reaction. I try and smile at him but I am sure it looks more like a grimace. I roll my shoulders back so that I am propped up on my elbows so I can make more room for him on the blanket.

"Come on Embry, don't just stand there staring at me, it is kinda starting to creep me out." Truly it is I mean how much staring can you take from a guy who barely says anything to you, I am beginning to think that I have a billboard plastered atop my head.

"S-Sorry." He stammers and finally takes a seat on the edge of the blanket.

"So…I really hope that you don't have any large warts cause that would just be totally disgusting." I say trying to break the uncomfortable silence.

"Uh, no you caught me, that was my lie." Embry says in a more normal voice which sends relief through me knowing that he might actually be normal for a change. He is not trying to scare me, staring me down, or arrogantly hitting on me at the moment.

"So does that mean you are feeling better, Leah said you weren't feeling the greatest lately, cause you know you said you were happy and all, I mean you don't have to say anything to me." I stop myself so much later than I should have I mean I just had a word vomit for no reason.

"I'm not better…but today is a good day, but I'm not sick or anything contagious."

"That's good."

"I'm sorry I scared you earlier tonight when you fell back on me, you sorta caught me off guard too." He says this and I actually see him look directly at me, I believe that he might be sincere.

"It's not your fault that I ran away, I mean I think I was heading…I was going to get up anyway regardless I just needed to clear my head." He is still looking at me, makes it a little hard to think when someone is staring at you.

"What do you mean? I just thought that I scared you and you ran off, why would you run away for no reason."

I close my eyes and fall back onto the ground trying to collect my thoughts. Why is he asking me this? Why can't I just not tell him? I feel like I owe him an explanation, I mean he did come after earlier. I mean does he really want to know, do I trust him to know anything more.

My brain is soaring, question after question is thrown at my feeble mind searching for an appropriate answer to his question. I determine that I must keep my guard up at least a little bit, I am not prepared in the least to tell anyone about the why, but the what might be okay. Embry at least deserves to know what I did wasn't because of his actions, I don't want him to feel guilty.

I roll my closed eyes gaining the courage I need to look at him again. I sit up, suddenly feeling to vulnerable lying on my back while he is sitting up. "I didn't run away for no reason, I just get a little freaked out at times, and I have to pull myself back to reality." I look at my twisting fingers to find the strength to continue, "Tonight I was trying not to overreact to what I knew was the beginnings of me freaking and when I opened my eyes, everyone was looking at me instead of talking and laughing like they were moments ago. I just had to leave, before I panicked."

"So you lied to me earlier…this happens often." It was more of a statement than a question.

I nodded closing my eyes again hoping that he would say something else anything to break the awkward silence that seems to keep overtaking the night.

"So, What is Ohio like, I've never been there myself."

I groan. "Could we please not talk about Ohio, it is nothing but cornfields and farms…and I moved here to get away from everything there so if you don't mind I would rather not."

He laughs I can't believe he is laughing at me. "What?" I ask sternly glaring at him.

"Sorry, just not the answer I expected what would you like to talk about if your home state is such a touchy subject."

"Why don't you tell me about you? The information I have seems to be lacking any specific details, you're a mystery Embry Call." I say trying to sound casual and willing away my trepidation.

"There isn't much to tell, I grew up here in La Push and my friends are my family without them I don't think I could survive. Jake and Quil are my best friends, I have known them forever, and everyone else for a good many years. I guess I have always been the outgoing one of the group especially between Jake, Quil, and I. Quil is the quiet one where as Jake he has always been discontent always wanting something more, hopefully he finds what he is looking for he deserves it more than most."

I listen while Embry rambles about his life, it is strange hearing him talk about his life and his friends. I wonder for the first time if there is really something more to him than meets the eye.

"You speak so lovingly about your friends; I would have never pictured you as someone who could care about anyone but himself."

"You don't know me too well, normally I would never tell any girl about my family, its just too personal…I mean, nevermind." He finishes sternly with a harsh voice causing me to flinch a little at his new tone.

"I didn't mean anything by it, I was just surprised."

"You think I am some heartless jerk, don't you." He says moving closer to me. "Just some asshole that doesn't care for anyone but himself and what he wants in life."

I instinctively move backwards away from him but I only end up falling on my back.

He slowly crawls and positions himself over my body, I am frozen what is he doing. What did I do wrong? His hands are on either side of my head, I feel one of his knees rest roughly between my legs and his hot breath on my skin. I look up at him only to see him smirk at me with an almost maniacal glint to it. "If I didn't care about anyone else, I could just take what I want, force you into submission to fulfill my own desires." He whispers in my ear in a deep animalistic voice that causes my breath to catch in my throat. He pauses for just a second and licks my face from my chin up the side of my check.

Before I can even form a clear thought he is gone, I didn't even hear the sound of his feet as he ran away. Tears are running down my checks, I am still frozen on the ground where I fell.

I feel my mind shutting out everything around me, taking me deeper into the dark depths of my mind once again. I don't even try and fight the emotions welling and pounding against my mind, instead I embrace them. My mind is cruel and my emotions raw, and I know I should get up and go in the house, but I don't deserve to awake.

The next thing I know I feel oddly warm, I must be actually in hell, but I feel like I am floating along.

I hear voices around me unable to focus on any of them at once, but I know that I need to bring myself back from within my mind. I concentrate on the loudest thing I can hear, which is my breathing and I slowly am able to feel myself relax again. I bite the inside of my check, inhale deeply, and exhale through my mouth as I open my eyes to see a room full of people.

"Shit." I say more coherently than I want to drawing attention to me.

I watch as more than half of the people leave the room leaving me alone with Leah, Jake, and Seth. I slowly sit up on the couch curling myself up and grabbing the blanket off the back of the sofa as I watch my onlookers carefully hoping they don't question me.

"Are you okay do you want something?" Leah asks quietly like she is talking to a small child.

"Water." I whisper and Seth leaves towards the kitchen.

"What happened?" Leah asks, "Why were you lying on the ground? Where did Embry go?"

I close my eyes and pull the blanket closer to me. "I don't want to talk about it right now." I say pleading with my eyes.

Leah sits next to me on the couch and puts her arm around me and whispers, " I'm so sorry Larke, I didn't know that he would…"

"Just let me process what happened." I say cutting off her heartfelt apology, "I think I'm going to bed." I say grabbing my water from a stunned Seth, avoiding the looks from the people I don't know, and trudging up the stairs to my warm bed.

Jake's POV

Leah drags me away from the slowly burning out fire, giving Embry and Larke some alone time…she surprises me, one day she is against them being anywhere near each other and the next she is forcing them together. We drag the lawn chairs into the garage and head inside to relax. Seth and Brady are on patrol, so the house is almost too quiet as I relax in the living room.

I feel my eyes slowly closing as I try and fight sleep from coming.

The front door bangs open, "Where's Larke?" Seth screams at me jolting me out of my daze.

"What do you mean? She's probably still out back with Embry?" I mumble still annoyed that my sleep was disturbed.

Seth rushes towards the back door and I groggily follow. When I reach the back door Seth is on his way back with what appears to be Larke in his arms. He rushes into the living room and places her on the couch just as Sam and the rest of the pack charges in the open front door.

Larke is still out cold.

"What is going on?" Leah yells as she comes down the stairs to find everyone in her living room. "Oh, My God…Larke."

"Seth, How did you know…" I look at him forcing myself to try and remain calm wanting to know the whole story before jumping to conclusions about Embry."

I drag Seth into the other room and the rest of the pack except Leah follows although I know she can still hear us.

"Seth…"

"Embry phased, right after he scared her…at first he was crazy, his thoughts were wild like he wasn't thinking straight, he kept bouncing between thoughts like he was fighting with himself about something. I didn't realize that something wasn't right until he calmed down enough to regret what he did and that's when I knew I had to get over here."

"Damn him." I say through my teeth as I start to show signs of not controlling myself.

"Where is he now?" Sam asks with his ever present calm.

"Brady's with him out in the middle of the forest somewhere, he was pretty broken up about it all when he phased back."

"I think she's waking up" Leah says quietly and we all meander into the living room.

**Hope you all enjoy review it makes me happy to get reviews and if im happy my brain works and i can write when its not 2 AM haha **


	20. Chapter 20

**I'm updating early today probaly due to the fact that my electricity was out all day and i just thought i would give you what i wrote and i'll probably update again in the early morning hours again THANKS for the reviews hope you enjoy.**

Jake's POV

In the darkness, I most surely could smell them as we begin to draw near. The unsettling events of the past few hours weigh heavy on all our minds forcing out an unquenchable pity, hatred, and loathing upon my mind. My brain recoils at the harshness of our thoughts and his actual actions, yet I am constant in my reminder, to others, and myself that although his actions are wrong that he is already punishing himself more than enough.

The three of us come to a halt, needing a moment to ourselves before we can phase. Sam with his insatiable control manages it only seconds before Quil and I compose ourselves as well.

Brady seems to be at a loss for words only able to use his presence as a reassurance. Embry is lost, the torment on his face is utterly apparent as he undoubtly relives his actions in his head. By now we all have felt his pain, know exactly what went down, and for the life of me we are all utterly confused.

The complexities of the werewolf psyche bring most awkward conversations to a halt but in some aspects, only more questions arise from the depth at which we can see into each other's minds.

Leah is livid only wanting to rip Embry apart at his seams, while the rest of us have come to some sort of understanding about the whole thing.

With his head in his hands Embry casts his eyes up towards ours looking, pleading for something we most assuredly cannot offer.

"How is she?" He asks his voice trembling against every syllable.

"As good as can be expected." Sam answers his voice calm and unwavering.

"I don't deserve her." He mumbles slowly, his voice flat and distance.

"Not at thee moment you don't…but you didn't hurt her physically Em, Don't punish yourself so severely for one little slip up, nobody told you this would be easy to resist…"

"That's just it, sometimes I don't want to resist, my desire to take her, to possess her is so strong many times that the mere idea of loving her sickens me. My mind tells me that loving her is weak and that she wants me to control her, to demand what I want from her like she is nothing more than my possession."

"That's not all you want and you know it Embry, don't fool yourself into thinking that, you told her yourself that if you wanted you could just take her, but that's the point you DIDN'T…you stopped yourself." I say stopping his tormented rant.

"Embry, man you may be a little messed up right now but I know you're in there fighting this." Quil says throwing his hand up into the air with frustration.

"A little," he laughs, "I think I'm more than a little messed up I mean I can't even be myself around my imprint without becoming a damn animal…I fucking licked her…"

"What exactly if you remember caused the change in your behavior?" Sam asks seemingly ignoring Embry's last outburst.

"We were talking about me…I let her see part of the real me." He closes his eyes and runs his hand threw his hair, "I felt like I wasn't in control of the situation anymore, she turned the tables on me, rage, anger, lust, resentment that I let her see me, and what I had been suppressing all along came out. I tried to fight it but I felt her fear, the wonderful odd feeling that followed knowing I caused her fear. She stumbled onto her back and I couldn't help myself it was like I had to let her know…the only thing I could do to pull myself away from her was run."

He exhales and his teeth clench.

"I should stay away…anything has to be better than this."

"Don't say that, you know it is impossible, just wait Larke might still come around."

"If she wasn't scared of me before, she most certainly is now, and maybe I don't want her to come around Quil."

"Maybe you should explain your uh…problem to her."

"Yeah Sam, that's a great idea I'll say hey Larke, sorry for freaking you out but I'm a crazy werewolf that has mental problem and I love you by the way but I just can't get past the idea that I like to scare the shit out of you and think I would enjoy to some degree seeing you in pain, but if you could just look past all this shit I would love for you to be my girlfriend. But sorry in advance if I accidently kill you." Embry says with a dark withdrawn sarcasm.

"Well I hope you could do it with a little more tact than that but something along the lines of an apology and I am a mental nutcase but I'm getting help do you think you could forgive me for my sudden outburst." I interject and smile as he stares at me.


	21. Chapter 21

**Okay here's another chapter Thanks for all the reviews hope that Larke isn't too confusing right now let me know if something is and i can try and clear it all up in the next chapter ENJOY**

Larke's POV

"Larke you have to come out of your room, you have been hiding in here all day now." Leah says sternly for the fifth time today. I can tell she is worried about me, but right now I could care less who is worried about I don't want them to know, I don't want to know what happened myself.

Everything that happened that night replays in my head, the words he spoke, the feel of his body over mine, his slimy tongue on my face, and the voice he used to say those words to me. It is all too much to comprehend. Why would he act like that? One second he is totally fine, coherent and should I say 'normal' and then I can't even begin to describe how he was acting.

I haven't slept. The slightest moment that my eyes close I feel as though I should slip once again into the nightmare of that evening. Just thoughts of the moment cause the ever present fear to bubble to the surface causing my breathing to heighten, my muscles to tense, and I feel the weight of a thousand pounds being burdened upon my soul. The common phrase 'there is nothing to fear but fear itself' does not ring true in my opinion for I have someone to fear and his name is Embry Call.

"Can you just let me in Larke?" A now exasperated Leah yells from the other side of my locked door.

Should I talk to her, my eyes scrunch up at the thought as I contemplate the possible outcomes of exchanging words with her. Wonder if they have talked to _him_ or if he has told them what he did. Is he proud that he scared me, am I one of his accomplishments, something to brag about to Jake or his other buddies. Anger that is what I feel now, how could such a vile person exist to plan to torment me, are they all in on it?

I bang my head against the headboard of my bed, stopping my thoughts from betraying reality and rational thought. Conspiracy theories are not my friend, no one would intentionally plot to torment you especially your friends.

I stand suddenly and flick the lock on my door hoping that it gives Leah enough incentive to come in without asking. I am not disappointed; the door creaks open just as I settle back into my comfy bed.

"Larke, I think we need to talk and as much as I know you don't want to talk I will save you most of it by telling you I know what happened." She sits on the edge of my bed cautiously as she speaks.

My eyes widen, she knows, she knows, what did he tell her?

"Relax…he is an ass and I should have never left you alone with him so long."

"It's not your fault," I mumble not looking at her tears welling in the corners of my eyes betraying my emotions. I don't want to cry…I have nothing to cry over, it is not like he hurt me…he just scared me and brought back those awful memories.

"Shhhhh….it's okay Larke," Leah says putting her arm around me. "You don't have to see him ever again."

"It's not that…" I mumble but I can't bring myself to say what I'm thinking. Leah looks at me like she is completely dumbfounded by my brief statement. I don't think I can tell her, it is far to complicated for me to tell her what my thoughts are at the moment. On top of that I don't know what he told her, why isn't she defending her friend, she has known him far longer than me.

"What are you saying Larke, Why are you upset if it isn't that?"

"I don't think that you would understand, I mean everything that I am thinking doesn't even make sense to me right now so I don't believe that I can tell you or anyone else until my mind stops spinning. I haven't slept, I haven't eaten, and I haven't even fully processed anything. So…if you could just give me time for my brain to stop or I think I might go stark raving mad and streak naked across town howling at the moon or something" I almost yell this a Leah, my frustrations with myself coming out into a not so friendly manner.

"Okay, Okay I won't ask you about it anymore, just stop hiding up here I want my friend back, you can't become a hermit Larke as much as I know you want to right now it is not healthy." She says with a smile before leaving.

My head is screaming at me, but I am not listening anymore, my stomach is a far more important voice as of right now.

I have to focus, I have to drag myself downstairs to the kitchen, I must be normal well as normal as I think I can be after letting everyone know that I am a total freak that goes into catatonic states at the mere thought of being scared. I roll my eyes at my own thoughts as I find my footing on the last few stairs.

I scrounge through the fridge looking for something that resembles food, settling on some bread thinking that toast sounds like an easy substitute for real food.

"Oh sorry. " I hear and look up to see someone I don't know standing in the middle of the kitchen looking uncomfortable. "I didn't think you'd be up, Leah must be upstairs." He says to himself more than me shifting from one foot to the other.

"Uh…yeah I guess, Who are you since you apparently know who I am?" I question feeling confidence that is stemming from my repressed anger or pain or whatever it is that I think I feel.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to barge in or anything I was just looking for Leah…uh sorry I'm Leah's friend Quil." He stammers apparently surprised at my harsh tone.

Quil yeah isn't he one of Embry's friends what is he doing here. My eyes involuntarily widen at his words and I instantly turn around and intently watch the toaster.

"Sorry," I hear him almost whisper and leave the room, his feet almost making no sound as I hear him travel up the stairs.

Why are he here What am I going to turn around and find next? I don't even want to think about talking to any of Embry's friends right now, I don't care if they are Leah's friends too. They all have to be taking his side, thinking that I overreacted and am out of my mind.

My toast pops eliciting a small shriek from me and I grab it, run back to my room, and slam the door harder than I wanted too. I am going to either die of embarrassment or fright I haven't decided which yet.

The past week since the cookout has been riddled with constant awkwardness between me and anyone else in the house. I haven't seen Embry around at all, not at dinner, not in the living room watching tv, not around town or at the beach. I am glad he is avoiding me because I couldn't imagine talking to him, without losing my temper at the moment. I have so many emotions that I am just not letting out I feel like I am going to explore or internally combust at any given moment.

I haven't seen Jake around he must not want anything to do with me. Leah's crazy friend even she must be regretting asking me to come here.

Cigarettes don't seem to bring me any relief, walking has become mundane and I listlessly hope that I can pull myself up by my boot straps and 'cowboy up' as some of the hillbillies say in Ohio.

My new current obsession to keep my mind off things is cooking I have been cooking so much food lately that Leah says she has been sending the leftovers to her friend Emily's house. Cooking massive amounts of food for just Leah, Brady, Seth and I has me feeling like I have personally lost my mind.

I am screwing up Leah's life, her friends don't come around anymore because I am here and everyone that lives here is on edge. I feel like I just need to leave, but I have no where to go back to. I need to do something anything, I just need to take my frustrations, my aggressions out on something anything.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." I scream in desperation I just need to release something, and then I realize that I just screamed out loud in the middle of the day for no reason. My door slams open and 8 very concerned faces are staring at me sitting on my bed against the wall.

Confusion surges across their faces and I scrunch my face up and smack my head against the wall. "Sorry." I mumble looking at who is in my room for the first time.

My eyes widen when I realize not only are there people I don't know in my room, but a few people that I am NOT ready to see. My breath is caught in my throat, my eyes unwillingly close, my mind begins to feel fuzzy, lost, swirling into the darkness that I have forced myself away from all week. My hands shoot to my head and I feel the palms of my hands press roughly into my eyeballs forcing my eyes to open. My jaw tightens and I force myself to breath looking up towards the large crowd of people in my room.

"Larke…" I hear a calming voice forcing my attention any eyes to snap towards it. "Larke!" it says much more concerned and rough. I shake my head slightly pulling myself into a cross-legged sitting position completely focusing on the face the voice came from.


	22. Chapter 22

**Okay this chapter is a little emotional just for a warning to all that are reading...**

Larke's POV

Calm is the present emotion I am experiencing, but I fail to comprehend any reason this emotion has become all consuming. Concern and apprehension fill his irises as my gaze turns from his lips to his dark eyes. My body wants to rush to him and embrace the calm and comforting sensations reverberating from his mere presence, but my mind is screaming at me to run from this room and rid myself of this emotional consternation.

I falter not once but twice as I hastily scramble from my causal stance on my comforter, regaining my composure I rip myself away from the tranquil lull of the moment and push myself through the sea of bare chested men. I know that they allowed me to pass for anyone of them has the capacity to halt me where I stand without so much as a flick of his wrist.

Stumbling down the stairs, by mere accident I happen not to fall, the emotional rollercoaster has my cheeks stained with tears, anger in my eyes, and fear is slowly rising as I race faster into the impending forest. I see nothing but dark green and brown as I scurry towards the thickening vines and limbs forestalling my straight and narrow path. I know not why, only vaguely recalling the weightless feeling of falling through the air, the next moment I circumvent my feelings of regret and concentrate on the pain in my side. The ground is soft, more so than I ever noticed, but now being thrust into the mud and debris the contrast is evident that I have also landed on some sort of a rock or log. The pain is enough to redirect my mind, to focus on relieving my discomfort.

It takes all my effort to slowly rotate my body so that I am not only leaning against a tree trunk, but also out of the sloshy puddle, I have unearthed. I peer down at my body for the first time taking in my disgruntled state, frowning at the scrapes now concealed partially by splotches of muck. My jeans are soaked through with the briny coffee colored water, slowly seeping from the tangles of mud-strewn greenery beneath me. I let out an aggravated hoarse breath hoping beyond everything that I am left to rot here for eternity, however my dwindling hopes begin to waver hearing my name floating across the humid branches to my ears.

I sink back into the tree behind me attempting to look smaller than my human frame will allow. Dreading the moment someone finds me, cowering in the brambles mud soaked and in pain. I decide, defeated that I must be truthful to someone, about what I am going through for my acts have caused enough pain and strife.

The voice draws nearer, though it is not the voice that I so hastily ran from, it is however, a voice I feel I can trust. The restless feeling I have challenges me, beckons me to call out to him, but alas I am a coward.

"Larke…" Jacob's voice calls to me as I lift my head up from where I placed it on my knees only seconds before. "Are you Okay?" He questions sitting down beside me on the damp earth.

"Yes and No," I reply finding a little comfort in the fact that he cares enough to ask.

"None of us meant to scare you…we heard you scream and thought the worst…_He_ didn't mean you any harm."

I want to say I know to his statement but I simply nod my head giving him affirmation that I heard him.

"Can I ask why you were screaming in the first place?"

"I just felt so frustrated with myself, it is hard to say, but ever since…the cookout some deep emotions that I have been pushing away for so long seeped out, I was reminded of them and I just didn't know what to do, nobody knows, nobody wants to know." I say as I fight back any emotion by digging my nails into my wrist.

"We all want to be there for you Larke, everyone has been concerned about you, especially Embry."

"Don't tell me that Jake, just tell me this is all just some big joke and I'll leave."

"What do you mean a joke? No one is playing games here Larke. What kind of people do you honestly think we are?" Jake says sounding a little hurt by my statement anger slightly invading his voice.

"Sorry I just don't know what to think anymore, sometimes I feel like life is just out to get me…something is always going to go wrong and force me into situations that I can't handle well. I have never been able to handle being around strangers, I guess it is an irrational fear I have, but I have another fear that isn't irrational, that I haven't had my whole life. It is this fear that magnifies and consumes me to a point where I think about all possible ways of escape."

"Escape like running away?" Jake asks seemingly a little confused by my confession.

"Yes at times I can force myself to only think of running, but without controlling my thoughts my mind wonders toward a darker side of escape, a more permanent escape…my thoughts overrun me and in order for me to come back from the dark daydreams that plague my mind I have to refocus on anything, I find that pain is the quickest way for me to focus." I say looking down now noticing that my fingernails have left large indentations on my wrist. I smooth my fingers over the half circles feeling the textured recesses, now sensitive to the pressure.

"What happened to make you want to escape? Jake says taking my wrist and gradually flipping it over casting his gaze from my scares to my down turned face.

"It was last year when I was home for spring break, against my better judgment I met up with some of my old high school friends. We had gone in entirely different direction, me going to college and them staying around town getting into the same mess with drugs and alcohol. I wasn't surprised when they dragged me to a local festival, it was our thing when we were in high school, which is just an excuse to do drugs, get drunk, and have sex with random people."

I look away trying to collect my thoughts forcing myself to remain calm.

"It was the second night we were there; I had lost my friends well into the night, now I with their constant persuasion was drunk and high and beyond myself. I don't remember much of the party itself, but random faces laughing and talking as I swaggered through the crowds as the band played. I started to wonder away from all the commotion, I was feeling very overwhelmed, I normally wouldn't be around so many strangers without my friends by my side."

"I remember the trees were dark and a little scary, but I was comforted by the silence as I walked further from the music and craziness. Shadows of people were around, tall dark figures skirted by several tents and trees. I thought nothing of it seeing as I was away from what scared me most, the crowds. The next second that I remember are their laughing faces, shadowed by the firelight, I was pressed up against a tree. I felt his hand hold me firmly against the tree, each finger pressing into my skin, my feet barely touching the ground, and tears staining my cheeks. There were 5 of them, drunk and crowded around me…the smell of stale beer on his breath as he spoke slurring his words. It isn't all that I remember but the outcome is the same regardless of what they forced me to do."

I can't stop the tears now, my breathing is ragged, I can't look at him, I just told him, the first person ever, to know why, why I feel so alone and lost.

I hear his voice long before I can comprehend what he is saying, it takes me a minute as I try and refocus on what exactly I had heard, "It'll be okay, no one is going to hurt you." He repeats before I fathom what he said earlier.

"You don't know that…"I stammer looking at his face for the first time since I started my story.

"Embry didn't mean to hurt you or scare you, he feels awful about that night Larke."

"No, he wanted to scare me…I know he did."

"You trust me, so trust me when I say he is sorry."

"If he is so sorry why did he do it…why hasn't he apologized."

"If you want to know you'll just have to ask him, I don't think it is my place to tell you, but it is your decision you don't have to see him or talk to him if you don't want to, I can tell him not to bother you anymore."

"What did he tell you happened? Everyone seems to know." I say now a little angry.

"He told me that he overreacted to something you said, and that he said something that he shouldn't have, scared you, and pretty much told me everything he said and did." He said looking down away from me.

"Why did he tell you? am I like some conquest, was he proud of what he did?"

"No, he was really upset when he told me, after you went to bed that night we went to find him and all I can say is that I have never seen him as upset as he was that night and I have known him my whole life, so don't think that we are trying to play games with you."

"Sorry I just have a an over active imagination, you know with conspiracy theories and I always think that everyone is out to get me or hiding something from me."

He laughs slightly when I say this.

"So do you think you want to head back to the house, I'm sure everyone is worried."

"They all left right, I'm not going to walk into a house full of strangers again am I?"

"Well, I'm sure some of them left considering you weren't in any serious danger, but I am not really sure who will still be at the house."

"Thanks for being honest." I say forcing myself to support my weight on my hands as I attempt to rise from the ground.

I feel two warm hands on my arms pulling me to my feet, "Thanks". I say as I timidly place my feet on the supple ground beginning my journey back to the hopefully empty house.

**Thanks for the reviews i really do enjoy hearing what you think, hope you enjoyed **


	23. Chapter 23

**This was a hard chapter to write, well not hard to write since i wrote it 4 different ways and i kept deleteing them all until i wrote this but i have to post it now or i think i will change it again and i shouldn't do that again, hopefully it fits the story right hopefully sorry if it doesn't Thanks for all the reviews**

Jake's POV

I know that Embry is waiting for us to return, how do I know this simply do to the fact that it took 3 of us to hold him back so that he wasn't the one running out into the forest after Larke. He yelled and was livid with anger as I left the house, but I know that he calmed down or he would be out here tearing me to pieces. Larke opened up to me and I know as much as I want to I have no hope of keeping this from Embry, what I wish is that she would tell him before I am forced to when we phase.

I hope that Larke can forgive Embry for scaring her, but I don't think that what is going on with him is going to get better anytime soon at least until he can stop phasing. I walk Larke around to the front door so that she can head upstairs directly to take a shower without having walk around two many of us.

As I open the front door I hear a commotion caused by anxious bodies coming towards the front hall. Embry of course is the first to arrive, his face still flushed with anger or perhaps relief as Larke steps through the doorway.

Larke's POV

I step into the doorway hoping to just get to the shower and wash all this mud from my sore body. This first sight I see are that of his eyes, the emotions I felt earlier as I gazed into his eyes in my bedroom return and I struggle to look away. My feet steadily climb the stairs before me, but my eyes seem to be entranced almost locked to his. It is my feet that force my eyes away as I venture too far up the stairs to hold my eyes on his any longer.

In the safety of the bathroom I ponder what is going on in my head, why do I feel this way around him? He is an ass, but there is something else to him…I must find out what. Why am I drawn to him, when I clearly should shy away from his very presence?

Something else occurs to me whilst analyzing my reactions, that when I look into his eyes it is hard for me to remember that I shouldn't want to be near him. There is something about him that makes me want more of him. A large part of me is excited about this thought, but a smaller more confident voice is outraged that I would even consider it. Maybe I should talk to him like Jake suggested, what ever he has to say to me can't be any worse than anything else he has done already.

My shower coming to an end, I decide that it is now or never, my confidence is high right now, so it is settled at least in my mind it is that I need to talk to him.

I put on my jeans and t-shirt leaving my hair down and still dripping with moisture. I take a deep breath and head down the stairs hoping he isn't waiting for me at the bottom, that would be a little freaky. Luck is on my side for he is sitting in the living room with several other guys some who I know and other whom I only vaguely remember seeing before.

I push the panic away, I have more important things to do right now…I have to know, I need to talk to him now and if I don't I am going to lose my nerve and never speak to him again. I walk into the room with my eyes closed hoping that no one moves, when I know I am in the middle of the front room I gather the courage to speak repeating to myself, 'everything is okay, everything is okay, I know everyone here, no one is going to hurt you'.

I gather my voice and try and speak loudly and clear, "Embry…C-Can I please speak to you outside." My voice is clear but lacks the confidence that I wanted.

I hear muffled laughter, and I open my eyes to see several shocked faces, but the only face I focus on his Embry's and he look a little pale.

My eyes catch his and he speaks, "Sure, let's go out front." Rising from the couch, grabbing my wrist, he pulls me towards the door, but halts almost instantly.

He turns to me as he slowly flips my wrist over looking at what his fingers grazed when he grasped me around my wrist.

I look down avoiding his eyes. "Come on." I whisper grabbing him by the upper arm and move swiftly towards the front door.

Once we are outside I lead him towards a log on the edge of the yard, hoping for some privacy.

"Sorry for dragging you out here, but Jake said that I needed to talk to you and if I didn't do it now I don't know when I'd have the courage to start a conversation with you…" I ramble not knowing how to start the conversation that I wanted to have with him and avoid the new question I knew were forming in his head as I spoke.

"Is that what has gotten into you, courage…we all thought you were gonna freak on us again in there." He smiles and I look away embarrassed that people expect me to implode.

"Well, it was now or never, and I don't think I could live with never." I confess to him as I wonder if what I am saying is the truth, could I really not live with myself if I didn't hear him out.

"Well, if it is now or never I am very happy with now but I wasn't expecting this yet so forgive me if I stumble over my words and make an ass out of myself in the process." He laughs.

"I want you to know that I am sorry I scared you, but I sorta scare myself when I am like that…I have never been like this before, I mean I only have ever acted this way with you. I don't want to scare you, I like you a lot and I mean I want you more than I have ever wanted anything in my life. Sometimes I can't control myself around you, like what happened that night…I know I won't ever hurt you, I don't think I could ever truly bring harm to you physically." He looks away from me. "Do you understand what I am trying to tell you?" He asks and looks up at me without lifting his head.

"I don't know what it is about you, but as much as I don't want to I believe you…although it is hard to understand exactly what you mean?"

"It's hard to explain what I feel when that side of me takes over, it is like I am overridden with lust or something for you and I want to have my way with you, but I want so much more than that with you Larke, I want to know you, know everything about you…do you think that you could ever look past my faults and give me a chance?" He looks directly into my eyes as he says this causing that same tranquil lull to wash over me.

I shake my head and turn away from his gaze and close my eyes.

"I understand you hate me…" I hear Embry say his breath catching on his last word.

"No, that's not why I looked away!" I almost shout at him.

"Then why?" He whispers confusion emanating from his voice.

"If I look at you too long it is too hard to think clearly, you have no idea how calming your eyes are to me. I just wanted to answer without feeling like I was in a daze."

He smiles slightly at my response but he still looks confused.

"I think that I still need to know you better, but besides the obvious reasons why I shouldn't I think you are far more interesting not to like. As far as your _faults_ as you call them, I am nowhere near perfect if you haven't noticed. So I will try and accept you the good and the bad, I just want you to be yourself and I will attempt give you the benefit of the doubt regardless of which I get."

"Why are you being so agreeable?" He asks in disbelief.

"I don't honestly there is just something about you that makes me want to be forgiving, but don't push your luck my forgiveness only goes so far."

"So…Does this mean I can hang around here, possibly even hang out with you or is that pushing my luck?"

"How bout we just see what happens?" I say rising to my feet and stretching.


	24. Chapter 24

Jake's POV

Everyone was beyond shocked at Larke's forwardness tonight, we half expected her to pass out in front of us all when her eyes closed. Embry himself about fainted when she asked to speak to him; stunned as he was I didn't fail to see his hesitation when he grabbed her wrist. I know when I realized what was hiding under her down turned wrists, feeling the raised scar under my finger rendered all my thoughts meaningless as I was torn at the very thought of someone doing that to themselves let alone the girl sitting in front of me.

Directly after dinner Embry excused us abruptly stating that we had to get to work before we were late. I rolled my eyes at his lame excuse, well the truth actually, but if he didn't want to pump me for information I knew we would be sticking around until the last possible second. When they both came back into the house with nervous smiles on their faces, I knew that something had gone well and it was confirmed with Embry staying for dinner.

We are currently walking in our human forms towards Sam's to meet up with Quil for patrol, I had convinced him that I needed his help keeping Embry calm. Quil being himself agreed without hesitation or question knowing full well that he would find out first hand what I was getting at later. I hoped beyond everything that Embry wouldn't force anything out of me, but I rolled my eyes knowing my friend too well that it was false hope.

Quil is sitting in Emily's kitchen gobbling down dinner, along with Sam, Paul, and Colin as we walk in through the screen door.

"Hey, guys," We greet everyone as we step in through the door.

"Hey." They chorus almost in unison.

"You guys are here early…Did dinner not go well?' Sam questions looking from Embry to me and back again.

"Just a little awkward, you know young love and all." I laugh and receive a fist full from Embry's on my shoulder.

"Awwww, look he's embarrassed." Paul taunts smirking, "Never thought I'd see the day."

"Shove it Paul." Embry scoffs quietly walking away looking for an excuse to do something else besides wait in the kitchen for Quil.

Paul just smiles and shakes his head slightly holding in another smart remark.

"You about ready Quil?" I snort at the present tension in the room.

"Yeah, Sure meet ya outback in two shakes." He responses shoveling the last of the food on his plate into this open mouth.

I head out back grabbing Embry on the way, my mind swimming with apprehension for the 'conversation' I am about to be forced into. I remind myself that he deserves to know so that he doesn't fuck up again, but at the same time I hope he doesn't let Larke know I told him. I have to remember to remind him that TRUST is very big deal to her, he'll have to tell her everything soon. I shutter wondering how she will take that, I don't know what she thinks about supernatural things, never came up.

Embry is impatient as ever, fidgeting and such, I exhale loudly as Quil arrives thinking about time. The second we phase and start our patrol Embry begins his questions:

So Jake what did you are Larke talk about in the woods? What did she tell you?-Embry

Are you sure you want to know from me, wouldn't you rather ask her?-Me

Just let me know what happened, I will get her to tell me…but it is killing me not knowing what you know, you know more about my imprint than I do! It makes me so…So…-Embry

I know Em, hold your horses I'll tell you. I think about our conversation in the woods, and slowly let the images and words replay in my mind allowing my friends to take in everything that happened.

Are you Okay Embry?-Quil

What do you think? I am anything but okay?-Embry

Embry's pace quickens and I am pushing my limits trying to keep up with his pace as I know Quil is too.

His thoughts are erratic and incomplete as he focuses on the sounds around him, the thump of his paws on the ground, thud, thud, thudthud. From this thought his mind searches for something much more complex detailing the ever present rustling of the leaves on the trees and the sound of the moisture transpiring from the surrounding greenery—it is a combination of a melodic rustle accompanying a slightly offbeat hissing of the water while heating creating the humidity that is consistently surrounding.

As he realizes that keeping his thoughts focused on anything but the pain and anger is not going to work he trees whirling by start to take the grunt of his emotions. Quil and I now can overtake his pace which has slowed due to his recent murderous rampage on the forest's tree population. I head him off while Quil counters from the rear and we manage to force him to stop.

He stops alright, but he anger in his eyes and thoughts don't allow him to think rationally and he starts to crouch down preparing to fight his way free.

Embry, RELAX! Just calm down and everything will be okay-Quil

You don't want to hurt us Em, take a deep breath and relax- me

You…You…those…I can't believe anyone…No wonder…How can I ever…-Embry

Calm remember you aren't making any sense in your mind man, just relax I think and I picture the moment when I saw Larke smiling looking up at the sky the first day she was here hoping to calm Embry with the memory.

Peering at my friend I know that the image has done the trick as he abruptly phases back into his human form. Quil and I follow suit hoping that we can offer anything that our distraught friend needs.

"How long have you known that their was something wrong?" He questions quietly.

"Since her first night here…I said something stupid to a comment she made and she ran off after freaking out and Leah sent me after her that's why she was so far from the house the night you imprinted on her."

He just stared at me as pieces of the puzzle start coming together, his eyes widen and glaze over, and he is looking lost in thought perhaps about when he first saw her. We all know too well what, when, where, and how, but when I tried to match his images to what I remember I fail for we just see things very differently it is comical.


	25. Chapter 25

**Okay here is the next chapter...had a bit of writers block not really knowing how to proceed but finally inspriation hit...hope you enjoy loved your reviews sorry the last chapter was so short sometimes i just have all kinds of ideas and others i struggle with writing on sentence. haha **

Larke's POV

He left, he just got up and left after dinner without a word to me. Why am I upset it is not like it matters I am being utterly absurd. Why do I care, he has to work then he has to go, I just never realized that he had a job before, thinking of jobs I need to consider that soon.

I push important things like jobs far from my brain; I cannot concentrate on that right now I must stop thinking. Sleep is what I need.

I have successfully been lying here for hours and I see the sky is already looking blue. I frown at myself wondering what is wrong with me…I should feel tired I had a long day yesterday. I could never sleep if I had anything on my mind. As much as I told myself to stop thinking the more I couldn't help it.

I sigh and resigning to get up and start breakfast, groaning in realization that I still hadn't remembered that I wanted to buy a coffee pot but it is not like La Push has a local Wal-Mart supplying my every need. I would have to ask where I could find one, keeping myself awake in the morning has been substituted with caffeinated tea but it doesn't have the same ring as a steaming hot cup of Joe.

I start cooking breakfast deciding that waffles would be as good as anything else I could construct and if anyone shows up it is easy enough to just throw another one into the iron. I whipped up a gigantic bowl of the waffle batter pouring a generous portion into the hot waffle iron. I place the rest of the batter on the counter and cover it with a towel just in time to enjoy my waffle. Just as I was settling in my seat the back door, opens and several large shirtless men stumble in sniffing the air curiously.

"I suppose you are all hungry?" I laugh as I state the obvious.

"Of course, what did you not make any extra?" Seth asks frowning at the solitary waffle on my plate.

"No, I was waiting to see who wanted some, not everyone likes waffles." I state taking a large buttery bite of my food.

Their mouths open and I swear I can see drool forming in the corners just waiting to slid out. I laugh as I get up moving back to the kitchen leaving my plate on the table still donning I forth of my waffle.

"Who ever wants the last of my breakfast feel free." I smirk turning around to see the four large beasts fight over the minuscule portion.

"That was cruel…" Jake replies after losing the scramble.

"Don't worry you can have dibs on the first waffle Jake, just cause your so adorable when your upset." I say pouring the batter into the still hot iron.

Jake, Seth, and Brady lounge in the dinning room and I see out of the corner of my eye Embry slowly sauntering towards the kitchen.

"So…Can I watch you cook this time or am I still too distracting?" Embry smirks at me raising his eyebrows taunting me.

"I suppose I don't need to concentrate to make Jake's waffle, but if you have any sense of self-preservation I would highly suggest you don't distract me too much when I get to your food."

"Really? Are you gonna poison me?"

"No, but I might just run out of batter since your observably not as ready to eat as your friends waiting at the table." I laugh eyeing his three friends amusingly.

"Just because I'm not as patient as they appear to be doesn't mean I don't want to eat, but I guess if you don't want to feed me I'll just have to find something to distract me from my hunger." He says moving behind me whispering the last part in my ear. I tense and try to cover it up by taking Jake's waffle out of the iron a little too soon. I place it on a plate and slip away from Embry and into the dinning room.

Embry is sitting on the counter next to the waffle iron when I come back eyeing me with a weird expression on his face making me feel a bit uncomfortable. I shrug it off and continue with making the massive amounts of waffles passing them to the four boys as each one is done cooking. Embry still sitting on the counter grabs my wrist pulling me towards him gently. I end up between his knees and look up at him as my eyes widen as his sudden movement.

He leans down towards me ear and whispers, "Thank you for the waffles." I stand there frozen unsure of what to do, lost in my apprehension to the situation. As he straightens back up, I feel his lips press a quick kiss on the top of my head and his hot hands trail down the sides smoothing my hair.

I freak, but I honestly don't know why.

I place my hands instinctively in front of me and pull away only to realize after the fact that I had place my hands for the briefest moment on the upper part of Embry's thighs. I blush red turning towards the kitchen sink hastily intent on washing all the dishes to hide my embarrassment. My hand burns under the sink water as I rinse the dishes, reminding me of how close my thumbs and fingers were to him and where exactly.

I quickly change the water to cold and finish rinsing the dishes. I turn around searching the kitchen for a hand towel, my hands now dripping cool water on the floor. I jump suddenly when I notice him leaning against the counter on the opposite side of the room smirking at me.

"Where's the towel?" I question looking at my hands.

He laughs and tosses it at me hitting me effectively in the face. I roll my eyes at his efforts as I dry my hands and throw the towel towards him. Of course, he catches it grinning wildly at me. I get an ominous feeling seeing him look at me that way and I turn to leave the room looking for where Jake and the others are, only to find them no longer in the dinning room. A little fear stirs inside me, the images of what a rabbit feels like when being stalked by a predator flashes into my mind as I quickly turn towards the living room.

The second I turn the corner and see Jake and Seth lounging on the floor in front of the TV, I hear a low growl behind me, turning around I am tackled onto the couch. I flush red, as I feel Embry's body move against mine pinning me down. The wild grin still on his face, his knees on either side of my waist, and his hands resting beside my shoulders; he leans down his face inches from mine, his eye trying to bore holes in mine.

"Teach you to throw a towel at me." He says quietly keeping his eyes locked on mine.

"Can't keep your hands off her, huh Embry?" Seth taunts from across the room where I hope he isn't watching.

I slowly turn my head, breaking eye contact with Embry and see Seth and Jake both watching us inquisitively. I try and move out of his grasp but quickly realize I am no match for him.

"Are you gonna sit on me all day?" I ask now desperate to cure myself of the inquiring eyes.

"Wouldn't frown upon the idea, but I might not be able to control myself if you keep wriggling, I might just have to take a cold shower," He leans over towards my ear and whispers, "that is unless" his hips move against me and I press myself away into the sofa, "I didn't think so…" He moves back kisses my cheek with a soft kiss and scrabbles off of me with a softer smile on his lips.

Seth and Jake look like they are trying to hold back smiles, turn from me noticing my embarrassing state. I scramble into a sitting position pulling my knees to my chest as I try and focus on what is on the television. Embry didn't leave like I assumed when he got off me, but instead he had sat on the far end of the couch and now is attempting not to look at me.

What the hell I think as I sit there replaying the events in my mind, Why did I not freak out when he jumped on me? I knew Seth and Jake were here…I trust that Jake would never let his friend harm me, I think. Embry's eyes keep darting towards me every few seconds, I wonder if he is wondering if he scared me? What he did to me wasn't very dissimilar to what he did before, but his tone and presence was what was inherently different.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Embry slowly slide closer to me, until he his only inches away. Casting my eyes towards him, but not looking directly at him but more at the picture on the wall behind him, I whisper almost inaudibly, "What?"

"I wanted to make sure you were okay…I mean I didn't, did I….um?" Embry spoke softly clearly at a loss of what to say.

I frown at his stammering, unable to express in any words the answer to his questions. He looks pained as I rack my brain for something to say or do to let him know.

"C'mon…" I say grabbing his hand and walking towards the front door.

He hesitantly follows me out into the dreary morning.

"Where you guys off to?" I hear Jake yell from the front door.

"Be back later, don't worry Jake call if you need me I have my cell." I yell dragging Embry further away from the house. The security I felt in the house at their presence; dissipated and now is bordering on annoying.

"You know you shouldn't be alone with me Larke, you're gonna get me in trouble." He says with a conniving smile.

"Oh well, guess you better not give them anymore reasons not to trust you…" I say turning down the path heading towards the beach.

"Does that mean you trust me?" He says with a wide grin.

"Do you trust me Embry?" I throw the question back at him not wanting to tell him that I don't trust him.

"Yes, but I asked you first."

"If you have to ask then you already know the answer." I say curtly making his eyebrows scrunch together and frown slightly.

"Don't be such a grouch," I say turning around to face him and walking backwards in front of him.

"What are you doing your gonna fall…" He says but smiles.

"I'm not gonna fall, what do you think I am a klutz…I have two feet and I know how to use them both forward and backwards." I laugh.

"What other amazing talents do you have…other than walking that is?"

"I don't know, I just I haven't found many thing I am good at."

"I guess I'll just keep my eyes open for somethings you're good at."

I just chuckle at him not knowing what else to say.

"So do you think you are starting to like the beach more cause Seth told me you said you weren't a beach person?"

"Well my first impression didn't help much, but it is starting to grow on me, almost starting to miss it when I have been away, but I don't think I could be called a beach person yet."

"First impressions that important to you?"

"In your case I have made an exception, but generally speaking first impression don't mean a whole lot in the long run."

"What? Then what is the exception for?" He looks confused now.

"Well, there are parts of my first impression of you that I think will mater in the long run, and don't ask what." My voice growing stern at the end of the sentence.

"Do you want to sit here for awhile? He says motioning to a quaint area along side some cliffs.

"Sure." I say taking a seat in the sand next to him but keeping my distance.

"So you never answered my question back at the house?"

"Like I said before if you have to ask…" I trail off before finishing.

"Larke." He says frustrated. "Why can't you just be truthful with me, tell me what I'm doing wrong."

"You're not doing anything wrong at the moment, just relax and stop questioning you every action, if you screw up I am sure it will be obvious."

"I don't want to screw up."

"No one wants to screw up, you are talking to a paranoid freak here just to remind you?"

"You are not a freak," he states and whispers under his breath to himself, "If anyone is I am."

I sigh, at a loss of what else to do hearing the comment I shouldn't have.

"So how old were you when you got your first kiss?" He asks surprising me.

"High School, I was 17…my friends dragged me towards one of their friends and shoved me into him and before I knew it he kissed me, all part of their plan everyone was in on it but me…I was really shy." I say blushing thinking of the moment.

"That's rough." He says with a chuckle.

"What about you Mr. Ladies man?"

"I was 14, but that is all I remember probably wasn't very coherent at the time…so what did you enjoy doing while you were at school, maybe we do some of the same things around here."

"We mostly just hung out with our friends…I had two groups of friends that I felt comfortable around, the ones that liked to party L. introduced me to, but the others were more laid back and we just hung out at various peoples houses and goofed around, spur of the moment type of stuff."

"Sounds familiar…"

"I know I am a big pain…L. said everyone is always over and I am keeping them away…"

"No your not, I mean you are but they understand, but anyway there are only a few more of the guys to meet…I mean you have seen them all but how bout you decide when you want to meet them and I'll tell them to come after dinner sometime."

"I don't know…I mean."

"Fine how bout they come over tomorrow night after dinner and we will all just watch a movie or something."

"fine." I grumble feeling his desire for me to meet them through his voice. "How many are there?"

"Well, there's Paul, Collin, Sam and Emily, Quil you met him already, and you have met the rest of us."

"Wow…I guess I don't care anymore if the rest of you that I do know are around…those I know outnumber those I don't."

"So what kind of job do you have Embry, you work late at night?" I question looking for details of his life.

"Um, it is sorta like a neighborhood watch thing, I do for the tribal counsel, the pay isn't great, but it is something I've been doing since I was in high school and if we don't do it I don't think anyone else will."

"That cool, have you ever caught someone breaking the rules, or do you just let everyone slide?"

"Here and there, but we always 'patrol' in groups so that if we come across anything their usually outnumbered." He says smiling at what I can only guess is a memory or an inside joke.

"That's exciting."

"You have no idea, the adrenaline rush is beyond imaginable, I mean last summer Jake and I caught someone just before they broke the rules and had to chase him for quite sometime until backup arrived and we took him down."

"What do you get off on tackling men to the ground or something?" I joke hoping he doesn't take it badly I still don't know what set him off the last time.

He just laughs and I relax again.


	26. Chapter 26

**Okay It took me forever to update, but I had to think about where I was taking the story, have some ideas in mind for other chapters but i have to write the chapters that come in between first, the hard ones to write like this one was. thanks for the reviews always enjoy those and everyone who fav/alerts my story thanks it encourages me to write...ENJOY**

Larke's POV

"I think we should head back, before anyone starts to worry." I state thinking, everything is going great I don't want to be alone with him to long and have him turn into the guy that I don't really like. I wonder is it hard for him to control his actions…maybe I should ask, I don't think I want to know anymore about his condition. What if it is too personal, like he really is bipolar, schizophrenic, or some other horrible psychological disorder?

I wonder if he knows what is wrong with him, is he getting help like from a shrink or something…if he is he is probably embarrassed about it. I shouldn't ask.

"Are you really not supposed to be alone with me?" I ask breaking the silence.

"Uh, well I was advised that it wouldn't be the best, but it's not like I'm gonna get grounded if you drag me out of the house to go to the beach."

"That's good cause I would want you to get into trouble when it was my idea."

Jake's POV

"So you convinced her to meet the rest of the pack so that life can get back to normal around here." I ask Embry after patrol.

"Yeah, normal that is exactly what I wish…nothing is normal anymore." Embry scoffs.

"You know what I mean, I think it is great she'll get to meet Emily, what movie did you have in mind for all of us to watch…" I ask hoping for something that will keep the mood light.

"I was thinking the new shaggy dog movie might be amusing, you know man turning into large hairy dog." He says smirking at me.

"Yeah great choice, we might have to keep our comments toned down a bit, but might be a subtle way of introducing the whole idea into her head." I smile at his weird sense of humor; at least he didn't think it would be amusing to watch Underworld or something along those lines.

"I'll have to ask Quil to bring the movie, I think Claire and him bought it when it first came out."

Larke's POV

Thinking about Embry has been consuming my mind since we left the beach. Jake and Seth were a little tense when we returned, but they seemed to calm down instantly. What is with them? You would think that Embry was a recovering serial killer just waiting for the first chance he gets to claim another victim. I still don't completely understand what his deal is, I mean he tried to explain it to me, but it doesn't make much sense to me. I try and ignore the fact that he is more than a little odd at time, I never know what he is going to do next.

Tonight the whole 'gang' is coming over for a movie, still don't know what movie Jake told me it was Embry's choice and one of Quil's favorites. I can only guess what large muscle men find interesting in movies, probably some cop drama that takes place in a strip club, haha, yeah guy movies like that just suck. Anything else wouldn't necessarily bother me, unless it is some gory movie that has no plot. Random gory and beheadings without meaning just don't do it for me.

Leah decided to just order take out tonight so that we didn't have to cook, easy laid back night, reminds me so much of hanging out at OU. I smile to myself as I remember all the pizza we scarfed down.

Everyone starts to arrive randomly as it gets closer to 8, the time we are suppose to start the movie. Popcorn and other random snacks are set out on the coffee table in what seems like a monstrous amount, but I keep forgetting about everyone's impossibly large appetites.

I place the last bag of popcorn on the coffee table and find a place to settle into the couch, I know for one that I will not be one of the lucky people that have to sit on the floor. Waiting for everyone to arrive is making my brain go berserk. Jake, Seth, Brady, Kim, Jared, and Leah are the only ones here at the moment and we still have about 45 minutes until everyone is suppose to arrive.

Jake comes into the room and sits next to me, "Are you alright, you are a little quiet?" He asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine, you know just a bit nervous or something like that." I sigh, " My stupid brain is not cooperating with me."

"You always have a lot going on in there don't you?" He says tapping my head with finger.

"You wouldn't want to know what goes on inside me head, I don't even want to know half the time." I say leaning into his arm with my shoulder and head, "Maybe some of it will seep out of me and into you, you know like diffusion."

He laughs at me and I feel the vibrations and the hot heat where my skin is touching his and then suddenly I am falling into the couch and Jake is gone. He isn't gone I realize like poof disappeared, but rather just standing in the center of the living room.

"Jake," I whine, "You could have warned me, I almost spilt my soda." But he is not listening it seems instead he is having hushed words with Embry. I can't hear what they are saying but Embry doesn't look too happy, great I think just what I need the Embry I don't like.

After a few minutes, Jake walks away and into the kitchen leaving Embry standing there with a sourpuss face.

"What has your panties in a bundle?" I ask trying to sound amused.

"Huh?" He says playing dumb.

"What movie did you bring?" I ask hoping for some kind of intelligent response.

"It's a surprise…" He grumbles.

I roll my eyes at his poor mood, "Are you going to be a sourpuss all night because if you are then…"

He cuts me off before I finish, "What did you call me, a sourpuss?" he laughs but his mood doesn't seem to have changed.

"Yes, do you have a problem being a sourpuss, I could call you a curmudgeon."

"A what?" he smiles now looking at me confusion apparent."

"Well, grumpy gus a curmudgeon is someone who is like you and Oscar the Grouch." I say pulling from my favorite childhood character for help.

"Is that so?" He says taking a seat next to me.

"Yes, and if you are gonna sit there," I say motioning to his new perch next to me, "You can't be a sourpuss."

He leans closer to me, I tense unsure of his intentions which I remind myself can't be too bad with a house full of his friends, his breath hot against my cheek, He whispers, "I am neither sour nor am I a puss, I just want you to be mine and mine alone."

He doesn't linger near me, instead he returns to his original position next to me. His, I am or will never be anyone's, if that is what he meant then he has to be out of his mind. I can't help but glare at him when I catch him looking at me.

"Now who's the grumpy one?" He smirks at me the smile I can't stand the arrogant and evil one that says he thinks he is all that.

"Fuck you." I scoff under my breath; he is getting on my last nerve tonight.

"You want me, don't you…" He says arrogantly looking me in the eye. " Yesterday, the kitchen when your fingers were on me…" He mummers in my ear.

I tense, turn my head to look at him still leaning towards me. I have to pull my voice out of my throat, I can't let him get to me, courage where is it when you need it.

My voice comes out as a soft mutter, "When I said I didn't want you to be a grouch, I wasn't inviting the arrogant ass to come out and play." I cross my arms across my chest and stop looking at him and instead watch everyone else goof off around the house, all of which amazingly I didn't notice before.

My annoyance with Embry is interrupted when Leah is suddenly standing in front of me clearing her throat. I look up, not knowing what to expect, she is standing there with four people who have slightly amused expressions on their faces eyeing Embry and I on the couch.

I wonder what is so amusing and I glance at Embry who looks a little embarrassed for some reason, hmmm, it is not like they could have heard our converstation.

"Hey, Larke…Just thought I would introduce you to those you don't already know." She says still smiling, "Sorry to interrupt your, um conversation."

"That's Okay I believe, I was done talking." I say flatly not even bothering to look at Embry.

"Okay then, Paul and Collin." She says gesturing to two large muscled men, "Watch out for Paul he has a temper, and Collin here is Seth friend so you know how to treat him." She laughs.

"Hi, I'm Sam, my wife Emily and our daughter Amaranth," Says an older looking man with a child in his arms. His wife's face catches my eye, but I quickly look away from the scars that are strewn down it, I mentally note to ask Leah later about it.

"Hi," I finally stammer to the four of them, instantly feeling stupid at my lack of words.

Leah frowns at me as my eyes dart away from the four new people and baby in front of me and look at anything but them. My eyes catch Leah's and I give her a pleading look that hopefully she understands that I have had about all I can take.

"Where's that movie at Em?" Leah says excitedly at the man sitting very still next to me. I wonder why he is so tense, oh yeah I forgot he thinks I am mad at him or something…what did he do again I find myself wondering.

"Yeah Come on Embry, put the movie in already." I say nudging him with my shoulder slightly. I turn my face towards him and can't help but smile, and I mentally kick myself in the behind for giving in to him after he was so annoying.

Embry slowly gets up and heads towards the large TV in the corner of the room and pops in the DVD. Everyone pours into the front room grabbing all available seating. Kim sits on Jared's lap in the recliner, while Sam, Emily, and their kid find a place on the floor near the baby toys. The rest of the crowd mound onto the couch or collapse on the floor, the spot next to me remains empty until Embry trudges through the masses of bodies and plops down next to me.

"Can I sit here?" He asks very quietly.

"I don't know who are you?" I wonder as I ask if he'll mind that I notice his many personalities.

"I'll be who ever you like." He replies as the opening title of the movie comes on surprising me.

I smile widely and smirk at him, "How about you be the guy who chose this movie for tonight."

He smiles at me but doesn't say anything.


	27. Chapter 27

**Thanks again for the reviews ENJOY**

Larke's POV

Watching the movie with everyone was great, Embry didn't revert back into a dog the rest of the night, I guess the movie more than metaphorically took care of that with the whole sheepdog changing hijinks. Snide comments from Jake and Paul kept everyone on their toes throughout the movie cringing at some of the more ill humored jokes. I wonder what comments Embry would have made were it not for him sitting next to me. As much as I know I don't like the more vulgar arrogant side of him, I can't help but think about what he might be dying inside to do or say when he is not. At this thought I can't help but laugh at myself, why should I care what is going on inside his mind?

After the movie, everyone slowly departs leaving the usual crowd lingering in the living room all but reluctant to do anything other than avoid clean up duty.

"Uh, I don't want to go to work…" Seth whines along with Brady.

"I know…" Brady agrees.

"Oh, just go already your luck you got to watch the movie with us." Leah teases. "I'm going to bed do you mind picking up a bit Larke, I have an early morning."

"No problem." I say stifling a yawn looking again at the mess thinking it will only take a few minutes to tidy up.

"Thanks goodnight," She says trudging up the stairs while Seth and Brady heave themselves off their butts and towards the backdoor.

Jake and Embry make no indication that they are planning on moving anytime soon, Jake taking up most the couch, while Embry haphazardly is lying on the floor where he threw himself after turning off the movie. I am still lounging in my favorite spot next to the side table in the corner of the couch.

"So what did you think of the movie, you haven't said much all night?" Jake asks in an obviously sleepy voice.

"It was funny, but I think I like the original better, it isn't the father who turns into a dog but a guy and it is so funny since he is trying to get the girl while dealing with such an obvious problem since the girl owns the real dog that looks just like the one he changes into. It is just so much funnier watching that guy stumble over trying to impress a girl when in fact he might change in to a hair mutt any second, can you guys imagine trying to talk to a girl and accidently turning into a big hair ball." I laugh.

"Yeah." They both say at the same time sounding a little distant. I wonder what I said, maybe they are worried I really didn't like the movie.

I stand up and stretch my stiff muscles, "So are you going to help me clean up Embry," I say kicking him slightly in the ribs, "Either way you have to get up you are lying on a good amount of trash."

"I'll just stay here, it'll be like shoving the dirt under the rug."

"Get up, there is no way I am leaving the living room looking like a bunch of pigs watched a movie here tonight instead of all you overly muscled barbarians." I say regretting my choice of words almost the instant they came out of my mouth. My brain must be functioning for such thoughts to form, but the filtering before speaking does not seem to be working at the moment.

Amused smiles flash brightly on both Jake and Embry's faces at my uncensored comment. I try and hide my red face by starting to pick up the empty bags of popcorn and soda cans.

"So 'overly muscled barbarians' is that what you think of us?" Jake teases making my mouth open slightly to retort, but I stupidly close it again heading to the kitchen for the garbage can.

I drop the contents of my arms into the trash bin and pick it up to bring it into the living room to finish the rest, I turn around and smack into what I silently hope is the wall. My eyes don't deceive me when I notice the large bare chest in front of me on the other side of the trash bin I am holding in my arms.

Embry takes the trash bin from me swiftly before I can even protest and sets in behind him.

"You don't like my muscles." He states more than asks, taking my hand and placing it on his bare chest. The darkness of the kitchen being my friend hopefully hides my blushing cheeks as I realize my hand is still on him although he only held it there for a second.

I timidly look at my hand on his muscled peck as my eyes ever so slowly make their way to his face. I look into his eyes in the darkened kitchen and I pull my hand away rapidly as if the heat from his skin had burned me. I hurry out of the room and back to the mess I need to clean up, leaving him standing in the kitchen.

My hand still feels heated from being on his chest, it tingles as the sensation diminishes, but my memory of the feeling is a broken record inside my brain. I continue to collect all the trash, but without a trash bin I am forced to pile it in the center of the room on the coffee table. I begin to wonder if Embry will remember I need the trash can, but another thought crosses my mind 'is he waiting for me to return to the kitchen with more trash'. I push that thought far from my mind and continue to pick up everything I can until I am forced to return to the kitchen for the bin.

I walk into the kitchen leaving all the trash in the pile on the coffee table intent on getting it all into the bin in one swoop. The trash bin is where Embry left it, but Embry is leaning against the counter across from me as I walk in. I glance at him as I reach for the trash can, but he doesn't seem to notice me.

I finish cleaning up and bring the trashcan back into the kitchen to find Embry hadn't moved since I last saw him. I wonder what's got him down, maybe I should ask him. After placing the trashcan back in it's place, I take a hesitant step towards Embry trying to judge what kind of mood he really is in, I mean I don't know him too well maybe I should just leave him here and go to bed.

I take a deep breath and decide I have to say something, "Embry…" I say, not being able to come up with anything better.

He looks at me diverting only his eyes. My mind draws a blank for once, the only time I would love for my brain to have some kind of analysis of the situation, I can even remember my own name. His eyes are boring into me as my brain malfunctions. I know I have to say something, anything.

"Uh,um," I stammer I close my eyes willing my brain to think of something but still blank, lost unable to see anything, "My brain isn't working right now so it may be obvious, but why are you standing here alone in the dark kitchen?" I decide on the truth and my current observations, I laugh mentally that I am such a dork.

"Sorry, maybe I should just go." He says flatly in an almost angry tone.

"What? Did I make you mad or something?" I question my brain now running through everything I said or did since the movie ended looking for something that could offend someone.

He remains quiet, hopefully he is thinking about the answer to my question, not just waiting for me to figure it out. I wait for what feels like eternity.

"I'll just leave you alone…goodnight," I say quietly, "I'll see ya tomorrow if your feeling better." I add. I head out of the kitchen quickly and up to my room.

Jake's POV

As I waited for Larke to finish cleaning I drifted off, I woke to her going up the stairs surprised not to see Embry still sprawled out on the floor. I wonder if he left already, I head to the kitchen in search of some water before dehydration kicks in. Embry is standing in the kitchen absently staring off into nothing.

"Hey, I thought you left." I say haphazardly knocking into him with my shoulder.

"No, I was just thinking…" he says in an almost monotone.

"What happened do you want to talk about it? I know that I may not understand this whole imprinting thing but I can listen, or do you want to call Sam, Jared, or Quil since they know part of what you are going through." I say in a very serious tone, I mean how am I suppose to relate at the same level when I haven't experienced imprinting first hand.

"I think I'll just head over to Jared's" He says walking towards the front door, "Tell Larke if you see her before I do that I'll be around…soon."

Soon he says, what that means…something must have happened while I was asleep, but it couldn't have been too much of something I mean nobody is crying, screaming, or phasing. I shrug it off hoping Embry finds Jared, and head back to the couch to pass out for the night.

Larke's POV

The next day I awake and the clock is laughing at me that I slept in and it is 1 o'clock. Not that I slept well, I tossed and turned all night thinking about what I or anyone else could have done to piss Embry off…maybe he is just truly mental. I pondered that last night, but I find it really hard to believe that he is crazy, I mean if anyone is crazy it is me, I mean I have the damn scars to prove it. Mixed in with my thoughts of who is a crazy person, were the thoughts of what I could have done when he placed my hand on his chest. I long to have a redo, a rewind button so to say, now that I have thought out a good response to him (a guy that I know likes me) placing my hand on his bare chest. Freak out and leave the room not a good response…but taking advantage of the situation would have been, running my hand across his chest would have been, talking to him would have been, flirting with him would have been, or doing anything remotely normal would have been appropriate.

Why does he think he likes me? I screw everything up. I keep telling myself not to get attached to him, cause when he finally gets better he probably won't feel the same about me anymore. I mean what do you say when someone confesses to you that they like you and want you, at the same time that they tell you they are a little bit crazy.

I trudge out of bed and down into the kitchen feeling my longing once again for some hot coffee, I sigh as I start to make some tea instead. After finding myself more awake, but not hungry in the slightest I head back upstairs for an afternoon shower. The house seems too quiet for anyone to be here, I knew Leah had to work this morning early, but she was still usually up in the afternoon.

After my shower, I decide that my mission for today is to drag someone to the store, I am in desperate need of coffee especially on days like today when I want nothing more than to go back to sleep. I head down stairs only to find it still deserted, but my intuition tells me to go check and see if Leah is in her room. I head upstairs and knock slowly on the door.

"Yeah." Leah calls from inside.

"It's me Larke, are you sleeping."

"No, no come in…I need to get up anyway."

I open the door to see her sitting on the edge of her bed rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

"Sorry, for waking you up, I mean it is 2 in the afternoon." I say sheepishly.

"Don't give me that I know you just woke up too." She says rolling her eyes at me.

"Well, I was looking for you because I need to go buy a coffee maker, I am dying without coffee." I exclaim.

"Larke, you have been here two weeks and you haven't said anything until now, what is wrong with you! I can't have you dying from lack of coffee."

"Funny."

"Just give me an hour or so and then we will head out of this tiny town to find a coffee pot and I guess you would want some coffee to go with it right."

"You are such a smart ass when your grumpy, don't think I have seen this side of you?"

"Yeah well, life in La Push always brings the best out in me."

I laugh leaving her in her room.

I have only been to a store that wasn't selling food with Leah a few times, I know she isn't big on shopping, but I don't believe I am either. I avoid the situation at all costs, but getting out of this town never sounded more fun. I think I actually do like the small town, but I feel like I need a break from the drama, or if there isn't really any drama, I need a break from the what if drama within my mind.

We head out to the store, I find out that the closest Walmart is in Port Angeles so we head to a smaller store in Forks, which according to Leah is much, much closer. The drive isn't too terribly long, but I of course am consumed by the sights displayed outside my window.

"I love it here, its so green!" I exclaim happily looking out the windows, I just can't get enough of the trees.

"Wow…excited much, I guess you haven't really seen much of our forests around here…I guess I forget that sometimes." Leah says smiling at my obvious love of trees.

"I know, I love the forest but the few times I have been in the woods around the house it has just been so wet and there doesn't seem to be any trails, at least not obvious ones that I can find."

"There are trails, Larke you just have to speak up and let someone show you where they are, don't be scared to ask anyone of us if you need something, and I don't just mean your roommates, anyone you have met would be more than willing to help you out."

"Really, I mean I hardly know any of them I just still feel out of place."

"Don't worry about it I'm sure you will get to know everyone real well, some more than others I suspect." She says elbowing me slightly.

"Leaaaaauh," I say dragging out her name, "I don't know what you are talking about."

"Everyone knows he likes you, there are hardly any secrets between us all. So don't try and say that he didn't tell you." Leah says smirking at me.

"What?" I gasp horrified at the thought.

"Come on Larke, what do you think of him? Tell me something…"

"Would I just be telling you, or everyone else too." I say turning away from my friend trying to hide my obvious anger.

"Larke, don't be like that, if you don't want me to tell anyone I can keep secrets you know that, it is just that Embry is someone who can't keep anything to himself, especially now."

"What do you mean especially now?"

"Well, I know he didn't explain it well, I can't either, but you know what I am talking about?"

"I know…" I say as we pull into parking lot next to an odd looking store that has me worried about weather or not they even sell coffee pots.

"Are you sure they sell them here?"

"Of course, this store has a little of everything don't worry."

The topic never comes up again on the whole ride home, in fact I avoid the topic completely taking incessantly about my new coffee pot and the wonderful delicious coffee I plan to make the second we get home. Leah I realize is glad to be rid of my coffee craze chatter and me since she escapes to the confines of her bedroom almost immediately.

At dinner, I am surprised to see that the house is usually full of people, Kim and Jared arrived early to help with the preparations and to warn me about the full onslaught that is to come. Not everyone I have met is here tonight; in fact, the absence I notice right away is Jake and Embry. Looking around the room I notice that Quil and Seth are also missing, maybe they had to work tonight or something. Leah finally comes downstairs right before Kim and I finish dinner and joins the rest of us. I try and smile at everyone when I don't have anything to say…try and remain calm, as I adjust to the amount of people around me. I hate to even think that I am restless tonight due to the lack of the three guys out of all of them that I know the best. Could having Seth, Jake, and Embry around really have that much of an impact on my mood?

Despite my agitated disposition that I am trying to suppress tonight, I find it a little comforting that everyone else seems to be enjoying themselves. I Paul joking around with Jared, Emily and Kim cooing over Amaranth, and Collin and Brady playing video games way to animatedly. Everything seems great, I on the other hand feel the need to escape from the normalcy even if just for a few minutes, I quietly stand up and head out the back door for a cigarette break to clam my nerves so to speak.

I sit in the center of the grassy back yard knowing I will regret my choice of seating locations once I feel the liquid grass seep into my denim pants. The sky is patchy allowing me to catch sight of a few random stars in the inky blackness. I concentrate on my breathing as I inhale the smoke; I hazily watch the smoke as it drifts into the darkness wafting as the gentle breeze carries it away. I hear the back door open and shut, hinting that someone followed me into the yard, why else would someone come out here.

"A little crazy in there for you?" says a voice I don't really recall.

I turn looking for the face that belongs to the voice, but still unable to fully see him, "Yeah, I guess I'm still getting use to everyone in there."

"I guess it is a lot to take in, all of us I mean…" He says walking towards me and sitting down a good three feet from me on the ground in front of me, now with the close proximity I can tell its Sam, the older guy I met with the child and wife.

"It's not that I don't think, I mean it is but for a different reason than everyone being here…" I stammer feeling more than stupid, "It's just that I feel more comfortable when the people I know well, out number those I don't know too well." I finally spit it out knowing full well that he should get my insinuation.

"I see." He says in a calm voice. "Is there someone in particular who you're missing?"

"I don't think you quite understand the problem," I say rolling my eyes thinking back to what Leah told me in the car today.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it that way…I'll leave you to yourself." He says and walks back into the house.

"Awkward much," I mumble under my breath when I'm sure he is safely out of hearing range in the house.


	28. Chapter 28

**Okay this is a short update sorry for those who want more long chapters, i decided i would update tongitht with what i have completed so that you don't get too anxious...busy hoilday weekend and all so hopefully i will write more tomorrow thanks for reading enjoy**

Jake's POV

Tonight is the night, the three of us are going to confront Embry and urge him to tell Larke our secret. After he talked to Jared last night, it was clear to the whole pack that if Embry wasn't pushed to tell her Embry himself would probably self destruct. His fears her not accepting him for what he is are more troubling to him than her not accepting him do to his current mental state or his past liaisons. The comments that Larke made about the movie didn't help him feel more comforted, as he hoped. I had to roll my eyes at that one, what did he expect her to say, 'I wish I had a friend who turned into a large shaggy dog, how fun!'. She's not a 6 year old.

Seth, Quil, Embry and I are out at first beach cliff diving, taking the edge off, the impending conversation with Embry looming over us, each of us fearing the worst. Seth and I are here for moral support while Quil is the one who will taking the lead in the confrontation with our lovesick pal. Throwing ourselves off a cliff loosens us up, tension was high when we first met up, Embry knowing something is up, Quil dreading, hoping his words are enough, Seth wondering what he could bring to the situation other than he was involved to begin with, and I my mind keeps wondering back to the girl. The girl that I desperately don't want to hurt, knowing her past; the girl that despite being Embry's imprint opens up to me. I can't help but feel protective of her, I long for Embry's brain to function normally, maybe I should hit him in the head—brain damage might clear his tormented mind of the animalistic thoughts that beckon him to treat her like a wolf would treat his mate.

Embry is the last to jump for the final time as the three of us wait at the base of the cliff to corner him. Seth is leaning against the cliff with me to his right while Quil is standing a few feet before us silently calculating the atmosphere before us. Embry takes his last few steps out of the water, briskly shakes the water from his body and eyes us intently.

"What's with you guys?" He asks more as a silence breaker than an actual question, I know he can guess what were up to even if he doesn't know the topic of interest.

"We need to talk, but you already know that…" I say trailing off giving Quil his opening.

"Embry you have waited long enough, if you don't tell her someone else will." Quil says sternly knowing the pain of hearing that something about your imprint is out of your control.

"No!" Embry yells, "She's mine I will do with her as I please!" He turns from us looking out into the water.

"She has feelings to Embry you can't just ignore the fact that you are lying to her…how do you think she'll act if you keep this from her and she finds out from one of us." Quil says this walking closer to him, Seth and I brace ourselves for the worst outcome—a full-blown fight.

"She'll hate me again, I have just gotten her to talk to me, and now you expect me to rip from her the small part of me that she believes is a decent human being. I won't…I can't…I need her to want me…" He yells this but not at us, he is still facing the lulling of the water before us.

"The truth will set you free..." I mutter slowly from my stance by the cliff.

"The truth will tear her away from me, if that is freedom than I want to be caged."

"Embry be rational, she isn't going to turn away from you completely, I mean Leah is her best friend and when she finds out that we are all wolves she will accept it…and accept you fully for who you are." I knew Quil was here talking to Embry instead of me, I know I would have overreacted to that comment, but Quil took it in stride.

"Do you really think she will accept me, us?"

"Of course, everyone does why else would we be pushing you to do this, I mean we don't intentionally stay up at night plotting ways to make your life more miserable, you got that covered yourself."

Embry laughs, that's a good sign I think.

"I don't want her to know everything yet…I mean I want her to love me without feeling like there are no other options, I can't sentence her to a life with me when I know I am this fucked up, it just isn't fair of me to expect that." He turns towards the three of us looking into our eyes trying to judge our response.

"I understand…but you know you will have to tell her soon, maybe not this week or next but imprinting on her is a big part of your future together. Even if she can't love you like you want, you will need to tell her."

"I know…it is just hard to judge how I will respond to anything she does or says, one minute I am fine and the next I just become someone I know she doesn't like very well like I am putting up a wall between us on purpose."

"Is that what was going on before the movie." Seth laughs at the memory we all have of their obvious flirtatious bickering.

"I wouldn't say she hates that side of you, I mean she may not like the idea of you being like any man she despises, but she clearly isn't as opposed to that side of you as I think you believe." I say remembering his thoughts on the conversation were distinctly overly negative and highly self-loathsome.

He doesn't respond, typical…serious conversation about him and he doesn't want to voice his opinion, but we all know he has one aside from the humorous jokes he wants to use to change the topic.

"Are you done?" He says in a deep voice as she suppresses a growl.

"You have two days before we take matters into our own hands." I say with a confidence I only use when dealing with pack issues.

His eyes narrow on me and for the briefest moment I think he will attack me for that comment, but instead he runs off away from the beach.


	29. Chapter 29

**Okay this is a long chapter i had to stop writing this chapter somewhere or it would be like 10,000 words or so not good for one chapter but i hope you enjoy i know you have all be waiting eagerly Thanks for the reviews again helps me focus on writing when i know you want to read...ENJOY**

Larke's POV

I awake early the next morning excited almost at the idea of hot morning coffee, I head downstairs to start my first morning with coffee. I mentally shriek with glee, I forgot how much I missed coffee. Breakfast not sounding appetizing, I settle into the couch at sips my hot beverage.

My thoughts drift back to my weird conversation with Sam, do they all talk about Embry's apparent crush on me behind my back or something. It is odd that a grown man with a wife and child would care about a crush his friend had on someone when he has a reputation of not sticking with anyone. You would think Embry having a crush and wanting to get into their pants is a normal occurrence, not something to take note of. I still don't trust him, regardless of what he says but for some reason I want to trust him.

Embry's mood swings, or more like personality swings have me baffled. I have never met anyone like him in my life and I can't seem to get him out of my head. As I sit there and ponder the whys and hows of Embry Call, I catch myself thinking more about his physical features rather than the mysterious personality complexes that have my mind boggled. It is not only him, but it seems like everyone around me here is more complex and mysterious than Leah let on. The secret lives of the La Push Natives, hmmm that would make an interesting reality TV show or something.

I have to get my mind off of him, I have to get back to reality…and wanting him is definitely out of the question for more reasons than one, but I can't help but wonder what it would be like. Leah certainly isn't opposed to the idea, she would have told me to stay away. She has done that in the past…tried to protect me from one of her guy friends, but maybe I should make sure and fess up and see her reaction. No, I can't do that she will tell him and I would be mortified into a catatonic state. I am sounding like a teenaged girl in my head.

Jake, Seth, and Quil seem to appear out of thin air in the front room, I must really have been into my thoughts to not have heard them come in. I look up at them casually taking another sip of my now chilled coffee.

"No breakfast today?" Seth says with a small pout.

"Just coffee." I say getting up to freshen my cup.

The three of them gripe and moan a little and I just smile and pour my coffee. The three of them rummage for food each grabbing something here and there and settling in to relax.

"So did you guys have to work last night?" I inquire wondering why they missed dinner.

"Yeah something like that." Jake says with a smile but not saying anymore.

"Did you miss us?" Seth smirks at me his eyes lighting up as he notices that I blush a bit at being caught.

"No." I say quickly trying to keep my voice steady but instead it some out a little high pitched and makes is vagrantly obvious that I am lying.

"Of course you didn't miss us, but I know who you were missing then and are still missing now…" Jake teases me sounding very entertained.

"You have no idea what you are taking about, Jake."

"Sure, Sure…don't be coy, it is very simple to see when you are around each other than the feelings are mutual, not just one sided like you want everyone to believe, especially him." Seth says backing up Jakes insinuation.

"I do not, I mean it's not like that." I stumble over my words not quite sure how to quiet their accusations.

"Don't be mean to the boy Larke, he's not the sharpest tool in the shed, just let him know because right about now he is trying desperately to cut down the cherry tree without anyone knowing." Quil says confusing me.

"What are you trying to say?"

"He is trying to say that just because it is obvious to everyone else doesn't mean that he sees it and he is beating himself up mentally trying to figure you out and try not to do anything wrong."

"I swear everyone around here are a bunch of freaks, why are you all so fucking obsessive about the crush Embry so obviously has on me!" I almost shout this at them an d head upstairs to my room leaving them all dumbstruck in the living room.

Music forces the noise out of my head and allows me to relax, without the constant drumming of everyone's accusatory remarks about feelings I don't have for Embry. I mean he is fun to talk and joke with and he is an interesting person, but I don't want him like he wants me, well honestly part of me wants him. I am a girl and how can I not desire to touch him, the mental image of my hand on his chest sends a chill down my spine as I mentally kick myself for my inane reaction.

After about an hour of listening to drumming music I decide that I must do something with the rest of the day or I am going to have to punch the wall to take my mind off of him. I head down stairs and to the back door wanting to get some fresh air to clear my head, maybe I'll try and take a walk in the woods or something. I don't really want to see anyone right now.

I open the door and emotionally find myself at a standstill, wanting to disappear off the face of the earth at that very second. Just as I was about to step off the back step none other than the very person I didn't want to see walks out of the forest, shirtless nonetheless. My eyes focus on his chest drifting lower than I can handle to the waistband of his pants. I watch as his legs move across the yard towards me, watching them move beneath the worn denim. His jeans move as his legs bring him silently closer, my imagination goes haywire as my eyes drift from his moving legs to the zipper on his jeans. I quickly dart my eyes upward and notice him watching me very intently.

Did he see me looking at him? Does he want me to look at him? It doesn't matter I decide regaining my composure I continue my stalled movement out into the backyard. Jake and Quil's words come floating back to me, do I really like him…

"Hey, Larke just the girl I was looking for?" Embry says now within a few feet of me.

"What may I ask for?" My mind becoming formal all of a sudden as my insecurities arise.

"Oh, Leah mentioned to me that you might like to explore the forest trails around here, thought I might offer my excellent knowledge of the local flora and fauna."

"I guess if you are such an expert I don't see how I can refuse."

"Great…" He says offering his hand.

I smile and hesitantly take it, the warmth surround my skin like the other times I have touched him, but having his fingers close around mine increases the sensation almost 10 fold causing my skin to burn, but not a scalding burn, the feeling is beyond what one would normally feel to that of intense satisfaction. His hand remains around mine, and I happily allow the contact as he leads me towards a small trail at the edge of the trees.

The trail is only wide enough for him to lead me as I trail behind with our hands still clasped. The trail not even a human trail at all, seems only to be made by the constant passing of animals through the forest, reminding me of the trails deer use back home. I wonder what animal uses this particular trail maybe some kind of deer or moose, hopefully not something more sinister such as a bear or a wolf. I remember taking a trip to Yellowstone as a kid and seeing bells sold on sticks and bracelets and such, for the specific use of not running into a bear while hiking in the woods. Should I have worn some kind of bells to ward off any predators, for all I know the bells would attract the very creatures I wanted to stay away from.

"Is it safe to be out here?" I ask quietly uneasy due to my train of thought.

"I'll protect you." He says in a darkly confident voice turning around to look at me and smiling.

"Are their monstrous creatures in the forests around here?"

"Just a few bears, wolves, coyotes, wolverines, and occasionally a bobcat or two, but don't worry like I said I'll protect you."

"How are you going to do that some crazy Native American black magic or something."

He laughs, "Is that what you think?" He grins at me again, " You really don't know that much about our history do you?"

"Sorry, Ohio isn't very diverse." I say embarrassed by my sudden ridiculous outburst.

"It's okay, I'm sure you'll understand it all hopefully."

"So where does this trail go, does it get any wider, I feel like your dragging me into the middle of the forest just to get me away from civilization."

"You'll find out where I'm taking you soon enough, and it gets a bit wider up here."

The trail didn't seem to get any wider, in fact I felt that it had narrowed quiet a bit considering that the brush seemed to be more overgrown the farther we ventured into the forest. The underbrush encroaching on the trail wasn't the only part of the forest looming towards me; the trees themselves started to become more dense and more and more light from the gray skies reached the recesses beneath the trees. The darkening of the forest floor had a calming eerie effect on me making me, relax into a ominous state of denial. Denial of my fear of being alone with him so far from everyone without any link to the world outside of myself and him. Did he know? Was he testing my trust in him? Does anyone know where we are?

The questions were becoming too much for me, I fought back the haziness of the paranoia and all consuming fear by repeating in my head 'I trust him' but wanting nothing more than to be out of the woods and back at the house. My breathing, I detect is labored either from the hike or from my anxiety, of which I don't know.

"Can we take a break?" I say taking a deep breath once again.

"Are you getting tired?" He asks stopping and pulling me off the trail towards through the brush into a small clearing that appears out of nowhere.

"Just a little out of breath." I say looking for a place to sit, finding a log that looks relatively dry.

"I guess that is to be expected we've been walking for quiet awhile, probably an hour or so." He says taking a seat next to me.

My breathing and mind have not calmed down yet, I bite my cheek hoping to dispel any more attempts at ruining the day that my mind may think up.

"Did you hike a lot in Ohio?" Embry asks breaking the silence.

"Yes, I love the trees and the quiet symphonies that are the sounds of the forest, being around nature seems more natural to me than being around people."

"I like the forest too, its one of the reasons I brought you out here today."

"Really, what are the other reasons?" I ask curious, to find out more about him.

"I want to tell you more about myself and about the La Push area. You asked earlier about the animals of the forest, but I didn't really elaborate. The animal the Quileute, that is my people celebrate is the wolf. The wolf is revered for their loyalty to our people, they are seen as the protectors of the forest, their spirit guides us and keeps us safe. We do not fear the wolf, as you should not fear the wolf but embrace it as we do."

I smile for I am at a loss of what to say, Embry or anyone from here has ever told me anything about their heritage. Now hearing him speak about intimate details of what he believes is fascinating, my curiosity is crying out for more, but not willing to ask.

"Our tribe has a group of protectors that keep our people safe, they are the pack, as in a pack of wolves, we, I included keep people in line and settle certain disputes on our land."

"The neighborhood watch?" I mumble.

"Yes, we are a pack and patrol the area in groups like a pack of wolves, the wolf being such an integral part of our culture makes it come naturally as if we were born to work together."

He pauses and looks at me for a second, hopefully he will continue I think.

"Wolf packs like many societies are based on a hierarchy where one member is in charge of the rest and this wolf is called the alpha, our pack is similar where our leader is, Sam…he is the oldest although that's not the whole reason he is the alpha. But he gives us orders and keeps us in line as well. Wolf packs have a lot of other quirks that I don't think I am going to go into at the moment, I'll save that for another conversation…" He says trailing off and looking into the distance.

I look at him and see that he seems to be thinking really hard about something, his brow is furrowed tense, his eyes are narrowed and distant, but what surprises me most is that his whole body seems to be contracted—his muscles straining and looking very alluring in the muddled lights of the forest.

I stand up looking at him again and ask, "Are you okay you seem very tense?"

He stands up and towers over me only a few feet away, he looks down at me as I gaze up to meet his eyes.

"I am fine…" he says taking a step closer to me. I instinctively step backwards, "Am I scaring you?" he asks once again stepping closer not waiting for answer.

"Not yet." I step back again tripping over a rock and falling backwards onto my back.

My head bounces off the ground luckily not hitting anything other than the dirt, but before I can get up I feel to hands around my waist lifting me onto my feet. He doesn't let go when I am steady. His hands burn into my sides, I feel his thumbs on my hipbones as he walks me backwards until I am trapped between him and a very large tree. His hands leave my body, I suddenly miss his burning presence, but am unsure about his blatant actions. I am very aware that I can't escape as his hands find purchase on the tree on either side of my shoulders.

Evil memories drift silently into my mind, I push them away once again, with all the force I can find. My palms grip the tree behind me, the bark digging into my skin reminding me to come back to reality. I chant in my head 'I am safe, I trust him, it's okay' in my mind. This whole time I was looking past him, I allow my eyes to drift towards his secretly anticipating the calm that I feel radiating from him, but I am disappointed. His eyes do not hold calm, but seem very distant, I press myself further into the tree at the realization that this is the other side of Embry.

"You see I have more in common with wolves than anyone knows…" He says in a deep husky voice that scares me a bit more than I want it to.

"As our legends go, my ancestors needed help protecting their people and formed a more intimate bond with the wolf, joining spirits they became one. Genetically passed from generation to generation until the need for the bond was needed once again. My generation has had the honor I suppose more of a curse if you ask me to take part in the ancient pastime of protecting our people."

I relax a little more hearing him talk again about his life, but he still has be caged against the tree, his eyes locked with mine as he speaks.

"The need for protection sparked the change in all of us, calling us to become more equipped to handle the job so to say, to handle the monsters that are out there, it in turn transformed us into werewolves." As he said this he whispered the last part in my ear, his body pressing against mine almost entirely.

"Werewolf." I whisper back to him…trying to confirm that he is in fact trying to scare me again what does he think I am gullible.

"Yes, I turn into a giant wolf…so that I can protect my people from the evils in the world. Do you believe me Larke?"

I don't know what to do…my mind is telling me to go along with it, I mean I need him to get back to the house. I don't want to piss him off and have him leave me here, alone in the darkening woods by myself.

"Why did you want to tell me about you being a wolf? I ask trying to keep my voice from faltering but I can't and I give away my fear, as if he couldn't tell already. My heart is racing and my breathing is shallow.

"I-I want you to understand me…" He whispers again but pulls back a little, "I want you to know why I want to control you and call you mine…" He pulls himself further away but keeps his arms firmly in place.

My mind is reeling; I shouldn't have come out here with him. I am on the verge of another panic attack when I hear his calming voice once again.

"From what I understand about how wolves interact the key idea is that the male is dominant over his female, she submits to him and she is his for life…the wolf in me has a strong hold over my actions and overpowers my more human emotions towards you. The human part of me has trouble reigning in my animalistic side more so than the rest of the guys."

His voice had the desired affect on me, I am calm once again but for how long I wonder. My voice is lost, I am too far gone to speak to him…the thought that keeps replaying in my head is 'he is crazier than I thought'. I close my eyes hoping to awake from this nightmare.

"Don't you have anything to say?" He questions me in an angry voice sending fear towards me once again.

He leans into me again, his body pressing me firmly against the tree. His breath is very hot against my face, actually his whole body is very hot against me.

"Answer me." He demands harshly making all the calm I gathered from his voice disappear.

My body is not working for me tonight, the hazy mind numbing sensations return as I feel myself drift slowly away from the scary crazy person before me. My breathing is labored, my eyes close involuntarily, and I am sucked away into my mind and away from reality. My past memories of the men mix with my current memories of Embry into a cycling nightmare. My hand trembles and reaches for my next as I remember the man's hands holding me against a tree very different from this one.

My skin on my neck feels cold under my clammy hand, only seconds after my hand rests on my neck it is torn away. Smacked into the tree bark above my head are my wrists, the pain forces me out of my nightmares and back to Embry, the real reason for my panic. My wrists are held in one of his hands over my head, a evil smirk plays across his face as he looks down at me.

He leans in towards my ear and whispers, "You haven't answered me yet, I am getting very impatient," His voice is calm again making me think he knows what effect it has on me. I feel like I am on a roller coaster, he scares me, calms me, scares me, calms me, over and over, he has to know what he is doing to me.

"Why?" I manage to breath out with my next shallow breath.

"Why what? Why am I impatient? Why do I have you pinned against a tree? Why do you have to answer me? There are many whys Larke, I think you need to elaborate?" Amusement and playfulness sound in the voice he uses causing annoyance to rise within me.

"All of them." Again only a whisper of a voice is elicited from me.

"Impatience—that's a hard one I think I lies in the fact that you haven't responded to the fact that I am a werewolf in the normal way…meaning I want to know why and what you are thinking. The tree—that one is easy I like the way you feel against me, I know I am in control and you are helpless, it is testing my control over my lust so to speak, knowing that I could have you. I want you to answer me because the faster you tell me what I want to know the better it is for you—I don't want to hurt you, I want to take you home, I want you to accept me, I want you to understand, but most of al I don't want you to run from me thinking I am a monster, I can't handle you hating me."

Calming voice again, damn him playing with my emotions like this…but I gather my voice hoping against all odds that I can spit out what I need to say, "I think your chances of getting me to talk to you are better if you let me go…I won't run from you, I can't find my way home without you…" I look him in the eye willing him to understand trying to bring back the Embry that doesn't believe he is a wolf, but picks out Disney movies about shaggy dogs. Oh my gosh, the movie…the similarities to that and his story.

Surprisingly he lets go of one of my wrists and trails the other back down to my side. He keeps a gentle but firm grasp on my other wrist and steps away leading, almost dragging me back over to the log we sat upon before.

"Are you okay?" He asks looking away from me and towards the ground.

"Are you?" I ask looking towards him, but he doesn't look up, " I only ask because of what you told me before when you told me you weren't well, and I mean you are acting very strangely today."

He laughs nervously, " You think me telling you that I am a werewolf is the part that makes me 'crazy' for lack of a better term."

"Yes." I whisper uneasy again due to his laughter.

"The fact that I am a werewolf makes me act this way, not only that but the fact that I am a werewolf in love makes me crazy."

"love." I whisper picking up on his confession.

"Do you really think I would tell you I am a werewolf if I wasn't, do you think that is anyway for me to get you to like me?"

"Do you really believe that you are a wolf?"

"I not only know I am a wolf but that Jake, Leah and the rest of the pack are werewolves too."

"Leah?"

"I can prove it to you, but I don't want to do it here…I don't want you to get lost in the woods, but if you want I can show you or someone else can if you don't want anything to do with me once I bring you home." He says turning his head away, sadness riddling his voice.

"Can we go home now?" I ask apprehensively not wanting to ask too soon.

He looks at me, his eyes dampened with moisture; he is calm now looking more like the Embry I have come to know. He stands up and offers his hand to me without saying a word. I grasp his open hand and follow as he leads me back to the trail. No words are spoken as we walk at a slow pace back towards the house. He does not turn to look at me, his eyes forward, his hand loosely clasping to mine, it is not the intense grip I experienced on the way there, nor is the feeling the same. The burning of his skin, is only a icy reminder of how his hands forced me against the tree.

I do not run from him when I start to recognize the thinning of the forest, I allow him to lead me until we reach the backyard. The sky is now dark, and stars have not yet risen. I drop his hand and hesitantly walk forward catching his eye as I pass by him, the sadness has yet to leave his eyes, I feel like a zombie as I walk into the house. I am bombarded with the noise of what I can only assume is the drumming of everyone conversing and eating dinner. I suddenly feel alone as I realize no one missed me, they knew where I was…they knew. I walk into the room and the noise comes to a sudden halt…I look at no one. I feel betrayed like a calf sent to slaughter before it has had a chance to live the life that it was promised. I head up the stairs without a word, without seeing any of them, without knowing anymore than what I think.

**Sorry if you think this is too much of a cliffy but i hope to update again soon so no worries life goes on even if Larkes life is put on hold for a day**


	30. Chapter 30

Larke's POV

I am at a loss for emotions, what am I supposed to feel? Am I mad? Probably. Does fear course through my veins at alarming speeds due to my accelerated heartbeat? Yes. Hate, all too often I know hate calls my name as a defensive measure but I think now is a logical time for such emotion although I find it hard to express at this time. Sadness, what could I not be sad about as I retrace my time spent here with people I thought I was growing closer to. All these emotions and many more that I don't have names for exist within me because I know I should feel them logically, but I am numb—void of everything.

They all knew…they all know…they all deceived me and lied to me with this evil vial joke. Something they do to outsiders…bring them home and see how long it takes to get them to make fools out of themselves. Why else would someone like Leah want me to be her 'friend'? That's why everyone talks about me, knows everything. Ohio was better than this at least I knew who my enemies were, I could avoid them at all costs, they weren't hiding under to rouse of friendship.

The house is eerily quiet since I came upstairs, everyone must have left seeing their hoax was up and I found out the plot. I have to leave…I know when I am not wanted, extended vacation to hell abruptly come to a crashing halt. Life couldn't get much worse.

I look down, the tears blurring my vision now betraying my numbness and conjuring up the emotions I refused to feel. My hands are trembling, I notice for the first time. I make a fist trying to calm the termers; I slowly turn my wrist watching as my nails pucker the skin on the palm of my hand. My quivering only increases with the tensing of my muscles. My tendons and veins prominently bulge beneath my arms, accentuating, almost accenting the rippling scars invested across my pale skin. Could I? I ponder…as I imagine how the dull expanse of my skin would look if with such a striking color would appear. Could I really escape everything, the lies, the emotion, the hurt, my feeling?

But not here…I don't want to be here, where they can laugh at me…knowing the pain of their joke drove me to my final escape. I don't want them to know, I must leave here first.

I stare at the clock on the wall, watching the seconds tick by waiting for the right hour to arrive, the hour when everyone will be long asleep and I can escape into the darkness without a word. I can make it to Forks on foot, and then from there find someone to give me a ride away from this quaint little area by the sea. The seconds pass like hours as I listen to the ticking of the clock, my eyes now closed focused intently on keeping my emotions intact until I can safely get away.

The hour is upon me…it is now 2 a.m., I do not think anyone will be awake at this ungodly hour to stop me. The creak of my door seems all too loud as I slowly ease it open. My footsteps, the creaking of the stairs, and my breathing sound louder than normal interrupting the stillness of the night. I leave the front door ajar not wanting to wake any sleeping people in the house for fear of a confrontation.

My feet feel heavy as I trudge down the road, a heaviness surrounds me consuming my every thought.

The road heading out of town looks dark and foreboding, there is a light misty rain hanging in the air. The dirt beneath my feet breaks the silence of the night, as they scrape the rocks and gravel. The beauty of the trees no longer holds my interest but rather forces my eyes to turn away. Everything around me seems more sinister and depressing as I slowly amble down the empty road. As I reach the outskirts of town, the road is darker yet as trees encroach on both sides almost enveloping into a tunnel. The walk ahead will take most of the night at the slow pace I set for myself, but anything is better than being where I know I am not wanted.

The pain as I crash into the ground is beyond what I thought I could feel tonight; the claws pressing me into the dirt, holding me to the ground threaten to pierce my skin. The pressure is beyond any weight I have ever felt on top of me. The hot breath of the creature scorches my face, while the snarling and growls erupt within my ears. The shriek I hear coursing through the night I realize belongs to me, panic rising faster as I take in the last moments of my life. Nothing, not even wishing for my own death by my own hand could have prepared me for the fear, the pain that I am in now. I hear a howl in the distance echoing through the night, my heart races as I grasp the situation that I am to be eaten alive by rabid dogs or wolves.

I look up at my attacker, wanting all of a sudden to look into the eyes of my death. The eyes I see are not what I expect and I can't look away. The monsters eyes look vaguely familiar. New snarls and growls startle me forcing me to close my eyes awaiting my demise, my death. They have come to kill me, but I am surprised when the weight on top of me is removed. The growls cease and are replaced with voices, loud voices yelling, screaming at each other. I decide not to move but to stay calm and listen to the voices of those that scared away the monsters that wanted to take my life.

"Get out of here, I know what I was doing."

"Really because it sure looked like you had everything under control!"

"I can't let her leave, she is mine she is never going to leave here."

"Listen to yourself man you are not talking rationally."

The voices I start to recognize and I can't except that they would be out here in the woods in the middle of the night protecting late night runaways from rabid wolves. I decide to sit up a little wincing at the pain in my shoulders. I feel the moisture on my shoulders where my blood has soaked through my t-shirt. I close my eyes hoping to wake up from this awful dream, my head is spinning, my stomach nauseous, and I am utterly confused beyond reason.

"She's awake." Jake's voice says from somewhere in the trees.

"Leave." His voice says, harsh and menacing.

"I'm not going anywhere, you just attacked her and you expect me to just leave you alone."

"Yes, it is not your concern…" He says as I see his silhouette move toward me in the dark.

"Embry, it is every bit my concern, you could have killed her." Jake's voice says as I see him jogging towards me.

I feel my body lurch upward as two hot hands hoist me into the air. Panic, my arms flail trying to push myself away, but his grip only tightens to the point where it hurts. Pain in my shoulders is overwhelming and I cry out and stop moving. Confusion abounds within me as I think aback to my attack and the words I heard the two men yelling at each other. It wasn't Embry that attacked me it was a large wolf of some sort or dog.

"Where are you taking her?" I hear Jake ask his voice a distant murmur behind the curtain of my pain.

"To my house, you can't come." Embry voice breaking into my haze much louder than Jake's.

"Why not she needs medical attention Em at least take her to see Emily first."

"Do you think I am stupid?" He yells making me whimper as his grip tightens a little.

"I'm just saying…let me bring Emily to your house then, I won't tell her or Sam why. Don't make me force you to do something Embry, you know how I feel about that."

"You wouldn't dare." Embry snarls.

"I will if you insist on hurting her more, you'll be in enough pain once you come to your senses as it is…"

"Fine!"

The pain awoke me, the pain and the cold against my skin.

"Aaaah." I cry out trying to pull away from the pressure on my shoulders only to find that two large hands hold me firmly in place.

Emily is sitting beside me on an unfamiliar bed while on the other side Embry is sitting with his hands firmly against the center of my chest just below my neck. My shirt is gone and I am shocked to find myself completely exposed in front of them. I can't dwell on that detail too long for the pain continues to radiate from my shoulders where Emily is dabbing something on them.

"Why are you torturing me?"

"Shhhhhh, I'm not honey, I need to clean these cuts so they don't get infected, they are not that deep and shouldn't scar too badly, you are a lucky one." She says quietly with a deep pain in her voice, but I find it calming to know that she is here.

When she is finished cleaning my shoulders, I see her place gauze and tape on me. I keep my eyes focused on her and what she is doing not once looking at Embry, still confused by what I remember earlier…not wanting to know anything yet. Emily stands to leave once she is done, I look at her longingly hoping she will stay, but she just frowns and leaves the room.

Embry's hands leave my chest and he throws a large t-shirt at me roughly and leaves the room slamming the door behind him. I hesitantly grab the shirt, feeling every moment send waves of pain through my wounds. I pull the shirt on carefully, and lie back down on the bed not feeling like doing much of anything at the moment.

A few moments later, loud yells rage toward me from what I can only assume is another room in the house. I can't make out much of anything past the point that one of the two males yelling is Embry. I strain to listen but I can't seem to focus long enough on their voices to discern what is being said.

Just as I am about to drift into unconsciousness and find some peace with sleep the door to the bedroom opens creaking. I open my eyes hesitantly, not wanting to know which of the two angry men entered but curiosity is always working against me. I see him, Embry his eyes full of pain and sadness just as they had been after our excursion into the woods. I look away not meeting his eyes longer than the second it took to make the observation.

"Why were you leaving?" He asks with a soft hoarseness in his voice.

I don't answer, I can't…but I give myself away unconsciously my I trace my wrist with my fingers as tears well in my eyes.

I see him watching me, horror flashes through his eyes and in less than a second he is next to me on the bed with my hand firmly clasped between his two large ones.

"Don't leave me Larke." He says in a hushed breath, "I don't want you to go, I know it is a lot to ask from you could you please believe me, I didn't mean to hurt you tonight, I'm sorry…"

"What do you mean hurt me?" I ask now completely confused.

"Your shoulders." He whispers looking away.

"But…" I start and then it hits me like a nuclear bomb just exploded, I lurch myself backward suddenly terrified of the man before me. I tumble off the bed, slamming into the wall behind me. My eyes wide with fear. "Stay away…d-don't come n-nears me." I shutter my back against the wall, trembling with terror.

"Larke…" He says in that calming voice he knows has an affect on my fear.

"Stop!" I yell not wanting him to win me over. "Stop playing with my emotions."

"So you believe me now, that I'm a werewolf." He says in his normal voice not the one laced with the influencing tones of comfort.

"You are a fucking monster!" I yell at him, "and I thought you were all playing a joke on me was bad, but who could ever guess that the truth would be more horrific, you are all fucking evil creatures." I scream at him as I slide down the wall grabbing my knees for comfort.

"We are not evil…I told you the truth what more to you want from me Larke, it is not suppose to be like this." Embry shouts at me.

I bury my face in my knees dead set on ignoring him, as I wait for him to finish me off. They are all monsters, wolves, people who can turn into wolves, what am I in some cheesy horror movie where werewolves exist. I close my eyes willing myself away from myself hoping for sleep so I can wake up and find this has all been a sick demented dream.

I stretch my arms as I feel myself waking only to stop when pain reels through my shoulders causing a cry to escape my throat. I am no longer on the floor but in the bed again, the blankets wrapped around me. The past events slowly flooding back into my head, dispelling my wishes of it all being a nightmare. My stomach growls it's disappointment at not eating, the sun streaming through the window tells me it is midday, it has been many hours since I last ate, thinking back to skipping breakfast the other morning.

It seems silent enough to hope that no one is around, maybe I can sneak into the kitchen for some food without anyone knowing. I wonder where the kitchen even is, who's house am I at…who's room am I in…so many questions rise in my head as I hesitantly creep towards the bedroom door. I wonder if it is locked, am I a prisoner? I reach for the doorknob, but jump back because unexpectedly the knob starts to turn and a moment later the door opens. Embry is standing there a little shocked it seems to see me up out of bed.

He smiles at me almost tentatively, "Hungry?" he asks shocking me out of my locked gaze into his eyes.

I nod my head not wishing to talk to him, but I make not effort to step forward towards him or take his extended hand he offers.

He reaches for my hand that is resting at my side when I don't take the one he offered, but I pull away not wanting to touch him, not wanting him to attack me again. He is too quick for me the second time and makes contact with my other hand and starts to pull me through the house.

He leads me slowly towards the wafting smell of pizza, it is not in the kitchen like I suspect but in a rather messy looking front room. The couches are old and musty looking, stains apparent more than the pattern of the upholstery. Random junk is strewn about the room along with beer cans and old pizza boxes. On an old worn out trunk near the couch lies the source of the cheese and onions fragrance. He pulls me towards the couch and lets go of my hand, and abruptly leaves the room. Before I can even sit on the couch he is back with a can of soda for me, then he sits on the couch and motions for me to do the same.

I comply only because I am starving, I take some pizza almost inhaling it. I am still very unsure of what happened to me, unsure of what Embry did, unsure of what Embry and everyone else is, but most of all I am unsure of why he didn't just kill me.

"Thanks." I manage to say after I finish my third piece of pizza hesitantly turning to look at Embry.

"You're still scared of me." He states looking me in the eye and frowning slightly.

I ignore his comment, it is obvious who wouldn't be scared of him after what he told me and did to me, "Where am I?"

"You are at my house, but I will take you home if you promise to stay and not hurt yourself."

"Why do you want me to stay, you obviously tried to kill me?" I ask harshly but regret it as soon as it is out of my mouth. What am I trying to do get him to attack me again?

"I wasn't trying to kill you…I didn't even mean to hurt you…would you believe me if I said it was an accident."

"No! I don't think I can believe any of you anymore, why did you all lie to me?"

"We can't just tell everyone we meet Larke, can you imagine what people would do to us if they found out we can turn into wolves."

"Then why did you tell me, what makes you so sure I won't turn you over to Area 51 so you can be dissected like a bunch of aliens."

"Would that make you happy? To see me ripped apart and in pain, do you really want Leah and Jake and tiny little Amaranth to become a bunch of lab rats because we didn't tell you right away?"

"No I guess not but why me? Why couldn't you just not tell me?"

"I had to tell you, I couldn't lie about such a big part of my life to you, to someone I am falling in love with."

"No, no, no." I shake my head as I speak.

"You think this is easy for me, I am the last one anyone expected to fall in love with a girl, I never thought the day would come where I wanted just one person over all the rest, I know I have hurt you in more ways than one. We are not evil wolves, we are protectors of our people like I told you before…could you just give it a try, try and accept us no one wants you to leave, no body wants you to kill yourself, Larke. I want you safe and happy and here with me and everyone else regardless if you have feelings for me or not."

Feelings for him, I have many feelings for him I just don't know which overpowers all the others. Feelings I have for him let me think about that: hate, anger, fear, lust, acceptance, hate, rage, wonder, sadness, aversion, and betrayed.

"I don't know if I can stay here anymore." I squeak out.

"You are NOT leaving." He says bluntly.

"Give me a reason to stay since you are so adamant on me not leaving." I say humoring him, there is nothing he can say that will make me want to live here with a bunch of monsters.

"I told you there are a few quirks about wolves that I didn't want to tell you about yet, but since you are so dead set on leaving I am going to put it all out on the table for you."

"More honesty?" I say sarcastically.

"There is this part of being a werewolf that is called imprinting. When one of us imprints on a girl it is like finding your soul mate, the one person you are meant to be with. It is like that one person calls to us, hold our existence together bringing us out of a fog and towards the light of the day. Nothing brings me more happiness than seeing you, being with you, for you are my imprint, my soul mate. You are the only girl I can ever love, I would die for you if it meant your happiness. Everything about you calls to me Larke, I cannot escape the draw you have over me, the power that you possess controlling my happiness, my livelihood."

"Then why would you attack me and scare me?"

"I told you that I am not well, I am not entirely in control, everything I have said about imprinting is true for me as well as anyone else who has or will but something inside me isn't right. I have other desires that fight against my desires to love you, adore you, and do everything I can to make you happy. My desire to control you, force you, and to make you surrender to my will stem from the foundations of the wolf psyche. The result being how I have been acting, up and down and all around, my emotions and actions not mixing well, I know you have noticed. The wolf got the better of me last night when I saw you walking down the road, I couldn't let you leave, I still can't let you leave…"

It is a lot to take in, I feel like he has explained this to me so many times, why can't I just accept that he is a crazy werewolf who just so happens to be in love with me, who can't control himself…no big deal right. Imprinting sounds interesting though, at least it explains his weird obsession with me, he can't help it, but I don't think I want any part of it, I don't love him, I'm not even sure I like him like that anymore.

"Who else has imprinted on someone?" I ask thinking I could talk to them, I mean they all must know about the big secret.

"Sam and Emily, Jared and Kim, Quil and Claire, and you and me." He says the last part with a smile.

I think about that for a second trying to remember if Kim and Emily looked happy, I haven't heard of a Claire so I don't know if she is happy but Quil seemed nice enough. I come to the conclusion that Kim and Emily both seemed really happy every time I saw them. Embry also said that he isn't like the others who have imprinted…

**Okay this chapter is a bit crazy i hope no one is confused i delayed posting this so i could clear up some of the more confusing part making them a little clearer, but im still hesitant THANKS for the reviews hope you enjoyed the drama**


	31. Chapter 31

**Okay heres a little of Jake's POV to clear up some things and give some insight into what is going on outside the EMBRY/LARKE bubble Thanks for all the reviews love them hope you like this chapter as much as i do got some funny parts in it hope you have the same kind of sense of humor i do or you wont find it funny...**

Jake's POV

It has been 2 days since Embry lost control of himself, Sam had it out with him as soon as Emily was done tending to Larke's wounds. It want pretty ruthless hearing Embry and Sam have it out over something they both have experienced; hurting their imprint when overcome by emotion. The argument was bitter and things were said that are regretted by both parties, but in the end Sam being the Alpha, Embry submitted in defeat. The whole pack kept their distance, not wanting to be near Sam when his calm collected outer shell had been torn open once again.

No one has seen or heard from Embry since that first day, as we congregate at the Clearwater's house the tension is stifling, shifting glances tell stories of their own as everyone tries not to bring up the topic at hand. When we are all together nothing is said but as everyone starts to drift their separate ways towards their duties and homes Leah can't hold herself back.

"What the hell is he doing with her keeping her as his personal slave?" Leah screams at Seth, Quil and I.

"Leah come on be realistic…"I start trying not to egg her on.

"You said she would be safe Jake, how do you know what he is doing to her, He hasn't phased since that night…Nobody has even seen him!" She yells confronting me directly.

"He's not gonna hurt her Leah, Sam took care of it you know that." Seth interjects.

"Yeah sure…he's the best one to give orders about attacking people, I'm sure he just had a great laugh now that he is not the only one to leave his mark on a girl, and you Jake had to drag Emily over there…can you imagine how she felt reliving her pain."

"Don't talk about things you don't understand Lea-uh." Quil sneers at her, "Were not animals, how can you even hit that we would mark our imprints that way, I love Claire I could never…"

"At least you haven't YET, who knows maybe its something that is bound to happen sooner or later attempted murder of those you cherish so damn much, irony would have a field day." She laughs.

"He has to come out of that house sooner or later…I mean it is not like he has food, and you know how Embry is about his stomach…just give him time. Everything will work out."

"You can shove that confidence up your ass, Jake." She yells.

Larke's POV

Sitting in Embry's house with him feels strange; the awkwardness between us is exhausting. I cringe away from him when he tries to get closer to me, I don't want to be near him right now regardless of the fact that he confessed his undying love for me only an hour ago. The magical imprinting connection he claims we share is probably the only thing keeping me from hiding myself away in the bathroom, besides the fact that Embry refuses to let me out of his sight for more than a second. He follows me around like a lost puppy, so now I am sitting here in the front room avoiding his eyes, which I know, are boring into me.

"Could you stop!" I roar at him my last nerve rippling through me.

"Sorry." He mumbles and looks down.

"Can I go back to Leah's now, I think I need to be away from you." I whisper cautiously not wanting to anger him anymore.

He looks up at me expectantly, "You don't want me…did I make you hate me?" He stammers his voice breaking as he struggles to spit the questions out.

"I don't know what I want yet…and yes hate among other emotions I feel right now is very high on my list, but…" I close my eyes as I myself struggle with my words, "but…that will change."

"I'll bring you home in the morning, it's late, you should get some sleep."

I go to stand up wincing as the pain travels from my shoulders down my tender arms. I look hesitantly at my shoulder and frown when I see blood has soaked through the shirt Embry gave me to wear. The bandages will need to be changed, I frown again and my nose crinkles up at the thought of what I am going to ask him.

"Uh, Embry do you think you could help me…the blood soaked through and I uh…"

"Come on." He says rising from the couch after grimacing at my question. He leads me back into the room I was in earlier. "Take your shirt off." He commands in a not so pleasant voice.

I grab the shirt and manage to remove it without crying out as my wounds seem to crack and rip apart my skin. I drop the shirt on the floor now standing in nothing more than sweat pants in front of him, I suddenly feel very exposed bearing it all in front of him, well not all but most.

He steps towards me with the gauze and tape, "Sit." He motions to the bed. His hands are beyond gentle as he removes the tape and gauze from my shoulders. The died blood itches slightly as I feel it crack against my skin. He grabs an alcohol wipe from the bedside table, my eyes widen in horror at what he is about to do. "Hold still." Again with the irate commanding voice. The alcohol stings but the coolness soothes my irritated skin where the blood had crusted over.

I peek over at the gashes on my right shoulder four inch-long punctures graced my skin, on my other shoulder almost identical marks. I stare at them in amazement, flashes of that night storm through my brain. I look at Embry his hands placing the soiled wipes in the trash. I move before I can help myself, I grab his hand intently staring at his fingers as I trail my fingertips across each one I turn his hand over as if his claws were hiding underneath. I look from his fingers to my shoulder, my breath caught in my throat. His hand still limp in my own as I attempt to peer up at his eyes, the same eyes the creature owned. I made the connection before but it feels different now. His eyes are pained but his face almost inquisitive as he watches me.

"This is hard for you." I whisper my eyes still locked into his.

He remains silent as he finishes re-bandaging my shoulders. He turns and leaves me alone for the first time all day, alone to sleep. The night does not bring sleep but angry restless thoughts of my pain, and Emby's pain. What am I going to say to Leah? They must know what he did, how am I supposed to react? I all of a sudden don't want to see them, I just want to stay here with Embry despite how awkward it is. I give up at about 2 a.m. and decide that I needed to get out of this room and the silence before I went crazy with worry about what I am going to say and do around the rest of them.

I walk out into the front room to find Embry sitting on the couch, his head slid back painfully against the back of the couch, mouth slightly open, snores rumbling from his chest, he has a peaceful essence about him when he is sound asleep. I sit down on the couch far away as possible, staring at him wondering if I should wake him up or not.

"Embry." I say quietly hoping not to startle him, but he must not have been sleeping very soundly because he instantly wakes up and looks at me confused by my presence.

"I couldn't sleep." I say looking away from him.

"Why not?" He yawns but smiles at me.

"They all know, that I….that you." I mutter praying silently that he knows what I am talking about.

"Yes, everyone knows what happened." He swallows hard.

"But what do I say to them, I don't know what…I mean it all…I don't know, do you understand what I am trying to say."

"I'm sure it will be okay, no need to worry." His calming voice that I love but loath reassures me.

"Don't do that." I gripe at him annoyed that he can control my mood so easily.

"Do what?"

"You know what…you did it in the woods every time you scared me, you would use that voice to calm me back down, only to fucking freak me out again." I say harshly striving not to raise my voice.

"Sorry."

The rest of the night or early morning passes with a still silence between us, nothing more is said. I awake to my name being called and the morning sun shining through the front window. My neck aches, adding to my other discomforts. I look towards Embry, he seems to be in a better mood this morning, at least he doesn't look so glum, or mopy, but just forlorn.

"Come on get up everyone is meeting a Sam and Emily's for breakfast." He says shyly smiling at me.

"What? Can't I just go home?" I grumble not wanting to see or talk to anyone yet.

"No, sorry I am under strict orders to bring to over to Sam's to eat breakfast; they think I haven't been feeding you or something."

"Fine, Fine." I say straining to stand without moving my arms.

Dread washes over me, as we make our way down the path to Sam and Emily's house. Dread for the words I have to speak, dread for the words I have to hear, dread for the looks Embry is going to receive, and dread for everything I feel, and everything I am denying.

The phrase you can hear a pin drop doesn't cut the eerie silence that erupted as Embry and I entered Sam and Emily's kitchen. The clanking of the screen door behind us, was the only sound breeching the invisible sound barrier in the room. I look quickly at the faces around me and instantly regret it. I am thankful for the large shirt I have on only due to the fact that all my cuts and bruises are cover up.

Embry broke the silence, "Hey, everyone." He laughs nervously not meeting eyes with anyone in the room.

I feel a sudden urge to comfort his uneasiness around his family and friends, but instead I take a hesitant step forward and take a seat at the kitchen table. Out of the corner of my eye I see Embry hesitate grabbing the back of the chair beside me, but he quickly moves towards the other end of the table and sits beside Quil. The silence is broken again when Emily brings in the large platters of breakfast foods of pancakes, waffles, eggs, and bacon.

"Ladies first." Sam says while everyone of the overly large men wait impatiently almost drooling at sight of food.

I quickly jut my arm out without thinking. I cry out in pain but manage to grab a few pancakes before withdrawing my sore arm. I smile sheepishly at everyone but my eyes dart quickly towards Embry taking in his haggard rueful expression.

After eating the living room at the other end of the house seems like the place to be that is unless you are Embry. The looks he is getting from everyone could make the paint peel off walls. I don't know what look I give him half the time, my emotions are an assortment of which I don't want to look too deeply at the moment, such evil heart retching activities are better left for alone time. I try and smile at anyone who says something to me, but I am at a loss for words, not having spoken to a single person since arriving. My throat feels like there is a frog in it, but instead of he frog trying to get out it is slowly fighting its way deeper into my trachea.

Suddenly Embry stands up and walks into the living room for a second heading back into the kitchen almost immediately. He hesitantly walks over to me, eyeing me carefully. He leans down towards me, I fight all my inclination to turn away or to move away and concentrate on standing my ground. He doesn't use the calming voice I think he will, but he speaks with a slight whisper laced with a hopeful casualness that I find myself liking but not being overly affected by, "I'll see you soon." He hesitates as he looks into my eyes and heads out the screen door before I can respond.

The screen door slams again and I look up but miss who leaves and find myself being watched by some very curious looking bystanders. Leah, Kim, Sam, and Emily must have been watching me for a while by the looks on their faces. I want to scream at the 'what' but I don't I just frown at them hoping they will go away but no. Emily, Kim and Leah take a seat at the table and Sam retreats to the living room, I grimace at what I know is coming, I crinkle my nose up knowing I won't like it, and my forehead hits the table with a thunk so I can avoid their eyes.

"So." Leah starts with an overly used pointless conversation starter especially when it comes to me, I'm not spilling my guts out that easily.

I dart my eye over to her without picking my head up off the table.

"How are you feeling dear?" I hear Emily's kind motherly voice on my right say.

I feel awful I want to say, but instead I pick my head up off the table and roll my eyes taking a defensive pose by crossing my arms a bit and looking Emily in the eye. When I look at her I see her scars again and I remember how Embry's hands looked last night as I examined them, each finger feeling so soft to the touch, yet I know the damage those very hands can cause, I feel the damage and shuttered last night at how much more they could have done. It is all too familiar; I quickly look away from her my eyes scrutinizing my own hands as I envision the countless scenarios.

"Have you changed the dressings since I put them on for you dear?" Emily asks cautiously still unsure of my mood.

I decide that this question needs to be answered, since I should change them sometime today, my voice is weaker than I would like it to be, "Yeah, we changed them last night."

"We?" Kim asks catching the pleural.

"Uh…yeah I couldn't so Embry had to, they were soaked through." I manage to get my voice to sound more normal.

Their eyes widen a bit at my confession, weather from the blood or that Embry helped me I am not entirely sure.

"Have you and Embry talked about this?" Leah asks motioning with her hand towards me.

"Uh…yes we have talked about a lot a things." I mumble not wanting to talk about Embry in particular.

"Are you just going to forgive him for trying to kill you and keeping you prisoner? Leah bursts out all of a sudden, anger rattling her voice and tremors coursing through her.

For some reason anger rises in me higher than it ever has and before I can gather my thoughts my mouth starts to speak without my mind's confirmation, "He wasn't trying to kill me, and so what if he was, what do you think I was leaving town for in the first place…everyone one of you lied to me, I thought you were my friends and you betrayed me. If Embry hadn't of attacked me I would probably be dead right now, so who are you to tell me I shouldn't forgive him for some little scratches on my shoulders. It is none of your business weather I do or not. So if you don't mind I would appreciate it if you would all stop with the fucking third degree if you want to know what I discussed with Embry go ask him yourself!"

As I lost my temper and screamed this the kitchen was no long void of men, my shouts had all but brought the entirety of the living room back into the kitchen. I stormed through the bodies staring at me in bewilderment and towards the back of the house hoping desperately to find the bathroom. Tears threatened to come out of my eyes, as I threw myself into the bathroom and slammed the door loudly.

I was crying and stewing in the small bathroom for what felt like hours before I heard a small tapping on the door. I ignored it, not wanting to see anyone after my tantrum in the kitchen. The knocking persisted.

"What?" I say in a hoarse voice that threatened to crack at any moment.

"Can I come in…It's Jake, I just got back and Emily told me what happened…Are you okay?" His voice sounded sincere like all the other times I have talked with him, but it is not the Jake I knew before…it is Jake the werewolf. Werewolf…but I reason with myself he has always been a werewolf as far as I know, so he is the same Jake…that means that Leah is the same. They are just a bunch of liars, but even that isn't relevant anymore I mean I wouldn't go around telling everyone I was a werewolf if I was.

"Come in Jake…but keep you distance." I say from the tub where I have been lounging with my knees buckled over the side and my back lying across the bottom of the tub. It is quite comfy actually.

Jake opens the door slowly and steps in looking over my appearance, "You look relaxed." He suppresses a chuckle.

"Well, my options were limited, I wasn't about to run off into the forest again." I laugh despite my sour mood.

"So your mad at us, the pack I mean." He says taking a seat on the floor with his back against he door.

I strain to see his face lurching myself forward curious of his expression, sad I decide.

"You could say that I guess, I mean I don't really know how I feel, I guess everything just needs to sink in, that's why I wanted Embry to bring me home…he wanted answers I didn't have."

"Are you still mad at Embry?" I smile, it of course is hidden from Jake, me still being in the tub and all.

"What are you his little canary, you gonna go whisper in his ear all the juicy details? I laugh, surprising myself at the turn around in my mood.

"I'm just concerned, and with everything you said out there, I mean I was just wondering if that is how you really felt."

"Yes, I believe it is cause my brain didn't have time to edit anything I said. I am still vague on the details of what happened that night and all but I know you pulled Embry off of me, but at the time I thought that you and Embry both had pulled the wolf off of me, I didn't make the connection for a long time."

I hear Jake sigh, "I know, Larke Embry told me about that when I left to go speak with him after breakfast."

I stop myself from asking if he is alright, why do I want to know? I close my eyes willing away my new desire to know if he is okay or if he is sulking somewhere. I open my mouth to speak several times trying to force a new question out of my mouth each time, but I fail. I give in at the end of my internal struggle and ask, "Is he okay, I mean right now is he?"

"I ordered him to get some sleep, so yeah he is perfectly fine."

"Ordered?"

"Oh yeah right, um I guess I am pretty persuasive when I want to be." Jake says obviously covering up something he didn't want to say, "So do you think you feel up to coming out of here, I mean it is pretty deserted out there most everyone went home, and I know you might have some questions about imprinting you could talk to Emily about."

"Yeah, but I think I need some help getting out of here, in was easy but out not so much."

I leave my sanctuary, the bathroom, and walk slowly and unsurely back into the living room only to realize deserted, means only ¾ of them left, but I guess that is expected since 2 of them live here. I am delighted to see that Leah is gone as well as Kim. Seth, Paul and Quil remain lounged on the couch.

Emily hesitantly heads over to me and ushers me into the kitchen sitting me down in front of a large piece of chocolate cake. Great a piece offering, maybe I could come to like Emily, she sure has been nice to me.

"So Jake says you have some questions about imprinting?" She says quietly, "I guess that means he told you."

"Ummm. Yeah, I was just wondering how it is working out for you? I mean you seem happy, but…"

"I am terribly happy Larke, imprinting although it is involuntary on both sides of the equation, only makes what you have that much stronger, it allows you to fall that much harder for him…and werewolf love is beyond that over the interworkings of a human males heart, it is the essence of his soul that calls for you, it calls for your soul, that's what it means to be soul mates. Your soul longs for him, it brought you here, it brought me here to Sam and it brought Claire to Quil. Kim was already here, but that just makes it easier for her."

Emily finished her long speech, I was expecting to have more than one question, but it seems she answered them all and left me speechless. One thing stuck out…the new question forming on the tip of my tongue.

"Imprinting affects me too?" The shock seeping from my voice.

"Yes, silly don't you feel it?" She smiles at me.


	32. Chapter 32

**Here's another long chapter hope it is what you all wanted EnJOY tell me what you hate tell me what you like i dont care send me a review only takes a second haha well if not ill still update anyway**

Larke's POV

The awkward ambivalence continues with everyone it seems, the only one I don't feel it around is Jake but like the others he is still keeping his distance. It has only been three days I tell myself, 72 hours since I returned home, to Leah's house. Embry hasn't been around and I get the distinct impression that he is not welcome…but no one has yet to publicly inform me of that. They give me these looks that seem to be pleading with me to include them in my internal monologs of condescending banter. I just turn my eyes from them and hastily occupy my body with something constructive. Silence has become my new vocabulary, not wanting to lash out at what others say I have restricted myself to the meagerest words or phrases when necessary. I wonder perhaps if it is my attitude towards the situation that has caused the rift between us, but I dismiss the notion for it is not like Leah or anyone for that matter has tried terribly hard to converse with me.

My thoughts of Embry, are constant and unyielding, I actually miss him for some reason. My talk with Emily floods my mind, imprinting affecting me…what if I don't want it to affect me? I don't want anything to do with him I try and convince myself. Why can't I get him out of my head? If he wouldn't have come around that night I would not have to think about this, I would be long gone and not in this complete misery.

My wounds have now scabbed over, and I refuse to re-bandage the horrid bloody bulges. Tank tops provide me with some relief, from the itchiness caused by the rubbing against them. As I stand here looking at my shoulders in the mirror, my thoughts drift towards the other outcome of that night. 8 gashes on my shoulders seem like a fair price to pay for still being alive, I find myself smiling at that thought, being alive has never seemed better. Character that's what they give me, I run my finger along the tender skin beside the scabs, pushing away irrational thoughts that lead me down a path that allows me to believe that I might actually like that Embry did this to me. I turn away before my mind betrays my judgment.

I have come to the conclusion that I am hopelessly affected by this imprinting thing, I want Embry around, I can't get him out of my head. My mood seems to direct my thoughts about him ranging from the not so modest kind to the innocent and charming. My desire for him rages within me, but I don't want to give in…I don't want Embry Call to win, to get what he wants from me no matter how much I want the same thing. Damn imprinting…irony wins again. Anger surges into me at how absurd I am acting and feeling, my fist pounds into the wall much harder than I visualized, the crack in the drywall proving the ancientness of the structure more than my sheer strength I muse.

My hand throbbing along with my shoulder seeping a small amount of blood from the swift moment, fresh air and a cigarette will hopefully calm my inner turmoil. The air will be chilly on my bare arms, but a chill is better than opening my scabs by putting on a long sleeved shirt. I head downstairs, avoiding the eyes of anyone that might be in the living room and rush out the front door. My left shoulder rams into someone on the front porch, I look up to see Seth frozen watching me, as I too froze to see what I ran into.

My eyes meet his and I mumble, "Sorry, I didn't see you," and I turn away.

"Aren't you cold?" He says surprising me when he touches my arm stopping me.

"I'll be fine." I mumble pulling my arm away from him, "Bye."

"Where are you going?" He says as he changes directions and heads me off, now standing in front of me forcing me to talk to him.

"Fresh air." I say lighting up a cigarette.

"Funny," he says his eyes now locked on what I can only assume are my shoulders.

I narrow my eyes at him and he looks away from me.

"Sorry…I just haven't, I mean not in person…its just." He stumbles his words fidgeting slowly.

"Don't." I say stopping his ramble. "I'll see you later Seth." I step around him and leave him standing there at a loss of what too say.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath as I head down the road towards the beach I decide, hoping for no more close encounters with the wolfy kind. Yeah sure Larke I think to myself, make jokes…that's a good way to deal with it all. Wolves, I ponder…trying to picture the last real wolf I saw, at a zoo no doubt. My mental image not being good, I picture what I no is closer to a husky. Dogs, haha now I know why Leah laughed at my insane outbursts about dogs, I roll my eyes at what she must have thought of me saying such things. I wonder are they all like big dogs, are they soft and cuddly, I mean when they aren't being growly and vicious. Maybe vicious is all they can be when they are wolfy. I hope not the desire to pet Embry washes over me, I was always a dog person…would that offend him if I asked? My cheeks flush red as I think about Embry as a dog, with his ostentatious personality I would have to scold him for humping my leg. I quickly stop that train of thought and instantly focus on the cigarette. Keeping all thoughts of Embry and his not so normal wolfiness at bay, I continue down to the surf of the beach allowing the water to crash into my bare feet. The cold overwhelms me far too soon, and I have to head back to the house, back to the pity party or whatever you wanna call it.

It is dinnertime, there are bound to be too many people inside the house, I hear them before I enter rolling my eyes at my new fear of them, which only stems from embarrassment and uneasiness. The room for once doesn't come to a silent halt as I enter the kitchen to assess the food situation hoping something is left. Luck has found me today for I arrived before everyone took seconds. Grabbing a plate, I quickly load the casserole and side dishes of green beans and broccoli making sure to grab enough knowing it will all be gone soon. I meander around the table deciding to try and act normal, pretending being around them doesn't bother me I sit down next to Paul and Jared. I feel their eyes on me but I ignore them concentrating on my food and my food alone willing their eyes away silently.

I hear someone ask me a question but I missed it, "What did you say?" I whisper trying to focus on the people in front of me.

"I said did you have a nice walk." Seth says smiling at me, probably internally laughing at my lack of attention.

"Yeah, fresh air did me some good, cleared my head." I say but I know clear is anything but what my head is after the thoughts I had at the beach.

"We are all going down to the beach tonight for a bonfire maybe you would like to come that is if you think you're up to it?" Seth asks and the table quiets to a dull roar, but the conversations continue just quieter.

"Ummm, maybe how about I give you an answer after dinner?" I say not wanting to commit to anything in front of everyone; I will talk to Seth about it without an audience.

"Sure, sounds great." He replies with a slight smile.

Once my plate is empty I cautiously get up and deposit my empty plate in the sink and walk towards the back door making sure to catch Seth's eye, hoping he gets the indication I mean for him to follow me outside. Of course he does I think he was anticipating it.

"So did you think about it?" He asks joining me at the edge of the yard where I stood smoking another cigarette.

"I have some questions first if you don't mind."

"Shoot."

"Why are you having a bonfire?" I ask wanting to know what to expect.

"Well, it is just something we as a tribe do, our legends are told by the elders to the younger generations…it is traditional, thought you might enjoy it."

"Will Embry be there?" I has hesitantly not quite sure where Seth stands on the topic of me and Embry just yet. Not sure if Embry would be allowed there yet, who knows what is going on with him and his pack.

"Uh…" oops I think wrong question, he doesn't want to answer me.

I speak up before he does stopping his uh mid syllable, "If he's going then I'll come, but if not I don't want to be around everyone." I spit out and take a long drag on my smoke to give me an excuse to do anything but watch him.

"Yeah, he's coming." He says more quickly than I expected, "I'll see ya there." He says running quickly out of the backyard. Weird, they are all beyond weird.

I walk back into the house with a coy smile on my face knowing full well that I should try and suppress it to avoid unwanted questions, but I find it impossible. The bonfire can't come soon enough I think walking back through the kitchen catching several glances before I find myself seated in the living room.

"So what did you tell Seth, since he ran off in such a hurry?" Leah asks speaking to me in a voice that clearly gives away her annoyance.

"So what time is the bonfire so I am sure I am ready to go?" I say trying to sound as normal and casual as possible.

"We are all heading down there around 8 so we can get there way before dark…" She says and leaves the room cautiously. I am grateful still not quite sure what she thinks, not sure what she wants me to think.

I hide in my room until I am sure they have all left and head out to the bonfire, knowing I didn't want to interrupt the mood by exerting my presence where I am defiantly sure it is not wanted. Hoping for a large fire to keep me warm, not wanting to bother my shoulders too much I still opt for only my tank top but am sure to grab a sweater I know I can wrap around my arms if I am cold.

I head out the door and find myself beyond nervous at seeing everyone plus whoever the elders are that will be there. I haven't had much interaction with the 'adults' so to say around here. I still see myself and everyone else as a bunch a kids even though most of us are in our 20's. I wonder to myself if everyone there knows the secret or if this is something, they invite others to that don't know. I guess I should have asked Seth about the specifics earlier, but he ran off so fast.

The walk to the beach is shorter than I remember, I see a small crowd of people starting to build the bonfire. I get closer and realize that I recognize everyone there so far. Logs have been placed around what I assume will be a rather large bonfire. Nobody is sitting as of yet, but more or less conversing and watching the firewood be piled in and next to the pit. I scan the area for Embry only to come up empty, I guess it is okay its not like everyone is here yet anyway. I check the crowd again and Seth and Jake are also missing.

Not sure of what to do with myself now that I am here, I hesitate and unwillingly force myself to walk towards the crowd of people. My feet creep along slower than usual very unsure of what I am supposed to do upon arriving amongst them.

"Hey Larke, I am glad you decided to come." Someone says and I look up to see Collin walking over to me so I assume it is him that spoke.

"Hi." I say timidly still not sure around him, I mean I only talked to him once briefly.

"Let me get you a coke or something." He says grabbing me by the hand and dragging me over to a large cooler.

"Thanks." I say grateful to him for saving me from my awkward self, I mean I would have just stood there like an idiot not talking to anyone.

"Here." He hands me a coke, "So Seth was convincing enough to get you to come, but I am guessing only due to the fact that you came by yourself that you still aren't talking to everyone. I guess that makes me a lucky one huh."

"Don't be full of yourself, just because I don't know you well enough to be mad at you." I laugh and smile slightly.

"Awww, your hurting my ego here, I thought you might actually like me more than the rest of them, you know just too shy to say anything." His smile widens at his joke.

I roll my eyes at him and open my can of coke eager for a distraction. I wrap my sweater around my waist allowing both of my hands to be free, now annoyed at myself for bringing the darn thing.

"Aren't you cold, I mean it is like 60 out here or something." He states noticing my actions.

"Yeah a bit, but I don't particularly want to make my shoulders bleed anymore." I say honestly before I can stop myself.

My honesty cost me a bit cause his reaction was what I expected, grimacing and looking away awkwardly. Gosh why does everyone make such a big deal out of this, I just want to yell 'Get over it already' at the top of my lungs. I don't but I really want to.

"What's your excuse?" I throw back at him, cause gosh he doesn't have a shirt on.

He looks at me like I have 8 eyes and feelers for a moment and a look of relief washes over his face as he realizes what I am referring to.

"Oh, we don't get cold." He states shyly and smiles sheepishly. Hmmm, his confidence gone so quick.

"Oh look who's here, come let's go greet them." He says grabbing me by the hand again almost making me spill my coke.

I look at where we are heading down the beach into the now darkening night, but I don't see anyone. That is until we are about two feet from the three of them. Seth, Jake and Embry stop when we finally reach them, and Collin drops my hand almost immediately.

I can't help myself at the sight of Embry and before I know it my arms are around his middle in are large hug. The pain in my shoulders forgotten seconds after embracing him. He is tense almost immediately, but quickly relaxes and puts his arms nervously around me. The warmth of his body flushes against me almost melting me, but my brain annoyingly tells me to stop and step out of his arms. Before I have a chance to let go his arms unwrap from around me pulling me carefully away from him to look at me.

"Sorry." I mumble, "But I think I missed you."

"It is alright, I am just surprised, first surprised you wanted to see me tonight and second you catch me off guard with attacking me like you did."

"Why wouldn't I want to see you…I have been dying to talk to you but I don't know how to get in touch with you."

"You could have asked someone."

"Haven't really been on speaking terms with anyone, until I talked to Seth today, oh I Collin just a bit ago."

"Oh, Are you feeling okay?" He asks now looking at my shoulders, but I have no clue how he could see anything out here in the dark.

"I'm fine." I say grabbing his hand and starting to walk towards the bonfire where Seth and Jake went. The fire now rather large, sending ominous shadows through the night.

Everyone has settled down a bit more when we arrive back at the fire. I notice some older people have gathered, they must be the elders. Not everyone has taken a seat yet, there are several logs still vacant as Embry and I approach. He takes the lead as we near the bonfire, leading me towards the logs.

I hesitantly take a seat on the log he led me to, wondering now where he is going to sit. My mind makes things so difficult, stop thinking it through I tell myself.

"I'll be right back, you want anything." He asks dropping my hand. I shake my head no and stare absently into the fire before me.

He returns with a can of soda for himself and he takes a seat next to me but on the ground, I inwardly frown at his choice. I have a strong urge to be closer to him, I wonder if he would let me. But how? He is next to me, but on the ground, he is so large that his shoulders are a few inches lower than mine. Brave…I can be brave to do something out of character.

I close my eyes take a deep breath before I make my move. I place my hands on his bare shoulders, he looks at me but doesn't say anything. I glance at him quickly before I slide over behind him sliding my hands down his chest so that I can lean into his back. My head almost level with his, I whisper in his ear, "Do you remember the last time my hand was on your chest." He looks at me almost shyly. "I think I do like your muscles, now that I have had time to think about it." He smiles at me as I continue to hug him from behind and settle in resting my head on his shoulder. I savor the heat radiating off of his body, warming my chilled arms.

I notice that everyone has taken a seat around the fire, voices are now hushed and attention seems to be drawn towards an old man. The tales and stories told fascinate me, but have my mind reeling wondering what is truth and what is just legend. I take the tales of how werewolves were created in wondering how such magic could have created this man I have myself wrapped around. The atmosphere of the night, draws me into a bubble as if I am watching the words unfold into a scene before me. I don't realize it is over until I feel Embry's hands smoothly rubbing my arms, drawing me out of the daydream I must have been having about the ancient ancestors of the Quileute people.

I move myself reluctantly away from Embry, instantly missing his warmth sending a chill down my spine. I slide back over on the log now feeling slightly embarrassed by my actions earlier, not that he objected or anything but still.

"So what did you think?" He asks me rising from the ground.

"Very intriguing."

He helps me up off the log, not releasing my hand after the need for it is over. He leads me away from the fire over towards Seth and the group of people he is talking to, and I hope Leah is not included in the group. Luck is still with me, she is not around. Embry pulls me in front of him grabbing my other hand with his and pulls me gently against his chest. I understand his motions and comply with what he wants leaning back against him, as he converses with Seth, Jake, Paul, and Quil. I soak in the warmth once again, savoring each moment I have with him, not knowing when I will get to see him again. Not knowing when he will be 'normal' again. I lose the conversation the boys are having, hopefully nothing too important…something about cars and whatnot.

All too soon I hear Embry saying his goodbyes and see ya laters, and I realize the four of them left leaving the two of us standing by ourselves.

"Do you want to walk with me, or I can take you home if you would like?" Embry mumbles from behind me.

"I don't want to go home," I say turning around in his arm, "but do you think we can just sit somewhere and talk."

"Sure, lets go over here a ways." Walking down the darkened beach, my hand still firmly in his grasp, which without I would probably walk off into the water without knowing it.

As we get further from the firelight my eyes begin to fully adjust to the darkness, allowing me a better view of the beach at night. He takes me to the same spot where I first saw him, which seems like a lifetime ago. He sits down on the ground and I join him facing him wanting to see his expressions as we talk.

"I was down here earlier, at the beach I mean thinking about you and your wolfiness."

"My wolfiness?" I see him smile and frown almost simultaneously.

"Yes, you and your wolfy self have been keeping my mind occupied far more than I have wanted."

"All good things I hope." He says looking down.

"Not all good, but I do have some questions for you if you don't mind."

"Go right ahead, you can ask me anything I'm not shy."

"Well, what do you look like all wolfy, I mean?"

"I am gray with dark spots on my back, other than that I look like a very large wolf." (eclipse)

"Will I ever get to see you, or meet you that way?"

"You would really be up to be near me after your last encounter with the other side of me."

"I've always been a dog person, would you be offended if I said I wanted to pet you?"

He smiles, his mouth slightly open as if he is trying to say something but can't.

"Would that be awkward or something for me to do that, I mean I know your not a dog, wolf all the time, but…" I ramble still not sure what he is thinking, feeling slightly more embarrassed as his silence continues.

"No, I don't think it would be awkward, Jake thinks it is quite enjoyable to have someone pet him."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"So I heard about your outburst at Emily's after I left I didn't take you for the yelling type."

"When I get upset, I tend to yell, you should have heard me the night I first met you, I'm sure knowing what I know now you would have gotten a kick out of it."

"Really what did you say, Leah never did tell me, she keeps secrets you know."

"What is up with all of you guys knowing everything you all must gossip like a bunch of teenaged girls?"

"Well not exactly, it is sort of a wolf thing, we can hear each others thoughts, feelings, and mental images when we are wolves. Some of us can block stuff out, but it is hard to do something I haven't been able to do yet."

"So that's how everyone just knows stuff that has happened." I say but my eyes widen when I realize what that means, that everyone not only knows everything, but they know everything.

"We have no privacy from each other, unless your good at blocking things like Leah and Jake that is."

I relax a little at this fact, but it still makes me nervous. "So when you say someone tells you something does that mean they thought it or did they really tell you with words?"

"It just depends, I mean somethings are just easier to replay for someone, but it's not like we don't talk using word either, it is probably about 50/50, so tell me what you thought you said that was funny since Leah isn't sharing." He grins at me.

"Okay, but you have to remember that you didn't give me the best impression that night and I was beyond mad, I said that I wanted to be a hermit and live with a bunch of big dumb animals and that I could have a better conversation with a stray dog."

"Awww, did I really make you that mad?" He laughs, "But I'm not a stray but do you think I'll do."

Now I have to laugh.

He looks at me all serious, his eyes boring into me, I see his hand move out of the corner of my eye. I feel his finger gently trace my shoulder, his finger leaving a warm trail on my tender flesh.

"Have you forgiven me for this?"

"Yes, but…"

"But what?"

"Honestly…" I look away from him not wanting to know his response to what I am going to tell him, "I think I like them." It comes on as a muted whisper.

"What?" Shock staining his voice, it breaking at the end.

"You heard me…I don't know why but…"

"You can't mean that, it makes me sick every time I look at them."

"I know you feel bad for hurting me, but have to totally thought about the alternative, I mean if you wouldn't have hurt me and dragged me back to your house and forced me to talk to you, I would have done something much worse to myself." My emotions getting the best of me, tears welling in my eyes as I force myself to look directly at him, trying to make my point.

His thumb catches the first tear that runs down my cheek, I look down away from him for some reason feeling embarrassed.

"It's just hard, I'm supposed to protect you from harm, not be the cause of it." He says looking at his hands.

"I don't want you to dwell on this, think of my scars when I get them like a tattoo, something to remind me of you." I pick up his hand again, mesmerized by the fact that it can turn into a paw, I fiddle with each of his fingers imagining what they would look like, what they did look like pressed upon my shoulders.

"I will never figure you out…your emotions bounce around so fast I can't keep up."

"Like you're one to talk with you being bipolar or something."

"Or something." He says with a sigh.


	33. Chapter 33

Larke's POV

Sitting on the beach with Embry tonight makes me feel like nothing in the world is wrong. I feel almost normal, funny that it takes a crazy wolf man to make me feel like one of the sane people on the planet. I wonder for a second if he feels normal around me or if his compulsions and passions are trying to break free at any moment. I hate to think what makes me feel so right could possibly make him feels so wrong, but right now at this moment he is the very Embry that I find so hard to resist. In the back of my mind that irrational microscopic voice tells me that I like the other Embry too. Mocking myself I hear my inner voice chide myself to stop denying it, but I push those thoughts away and concentrate on my time with this Embry now.

I hear his voice, but I am positive that I missed the question. I center my eyes on him, confirming the fact that I had spaced out and totally missed what he just said to me.

I smile shyly embarrassed by my obvious zoning out, "Sorry, I got lost, what did you say?"

"What made you change your mind about me? I mean I know I have acted like a complete ass towards you, I took a big risk when I dragged you out into the forest…"

He says his voice very somber once again.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you the past couple days, but what I think had the most affect on me what I thought about the most, were your hands." I stop abruptly realizing what I said, it is true that the feel of his hand in mind, against me, turning into paws, crushing me into the ground as a wolf—his paws had totally been the main focus of my thoughts, but is that what made me change my mind about him?

"My hands? What is so special about my hands that they would change your mind about hating me?" Confusion is clearly the driving force of his question.

"It occurred to me how gentle your hands can be, and the facts that when your wolfy hands or I guess they would be your paws were on me, it was the same… You probably could have ripped my shoulders from my body," I watch him cringe at my words, "but that is just it, you didn't, as rough as you were, it was tender enough only to leave the slight punctures where your claws dug in and were forced away."

I pause letting what I said have time to sink in before I continue.

"I mean I don't know the whole story about what happened to Emily, but it is obvious that there was a strong force behind the hands that caused her injuries."

He looks at me, penetrating me again with his intense gaze almost as if to search me for any indication that I am lying. I look into the intensity that I had been avoiding previously, willingly allowing his gaze to take hold of me. Our eyes lock in the darkness, dark shadows cast on his face from the little light shining from the sky, nothing could make me look away and my heart seems to fall when he is the first the break the contact.

"Come on," He says standing abruptly, "I told Seth and Jake I'd have you back soon."

I grimace. The last thing I want is to go home, I have no desire to see or talk to Leah. I feel the most betrayed by her, plus she doesn't seem to get it, any of it. I gather myself to my feet with Embry's help, his hand once again not relinquishing his hold on my hand as he leads me down the beach back towards where the bonfire had been. Darkness only surrounds the gathering place I notice as he leads me back home.

Silence as we walk, but my thoughts are not on conversing rather on the contact between me and Embry. Not only are our hands touching but also our arms brush slightly as we walk; the hot warmth sends chills me in ways I know it shouldn't be possible considering the actual temperature of his skin.

I feel Embry's steps falter slightly as we near the house, the lights are still on giving away that everyone is still awake waiting up so to say. He doesn't stop heading directly towards the front door, determined now I think to confront his friends, his family, his pack. The final steps leading up the porch make time feel forgotten, as my feet slow and every sensation feels a thousand times more intense. Anxiety gets the best of me, sweat forming at my brow, my palms, and hornets feel as they are buzzing through my veins.

We walk into the house, I expecting to see Leah, Seth, and Jake but nothing prepared me to see the whole pack waiting for us. Embry pulls me closer, after he felt my instinctive shrinking back. What in hell are they all doing here? I am confounded with their presence, although it seems like Embry was expecting it. He must have known…

My eyes wide I risk a glance up at him, looking searching for a clue as to what I should feel or expect from the large crowd before me. His eyes are calm, of course this he expected, something he brought me to.

The silence is broken by a voice much calmer than mine would have been, "Embry, Larke, please have a seat." Sam, the alpha I remember from what Embry has told me.

Embry drops my hand, turns looks me in the eye, and proceeds across the room sitting on the floor against the far wall. I am left standing here, unsure, nervous, and abandoned. Against all that I am I tear myself away from the gathering and head to the kitchen suddenly feel very thirsty, in dire need for a glass of water. I hear footsteps behind me as I turn on the faucet and fill my glass with cold water. I turn around placing the glass at my lips savoring the moisture, as I lower the glass my eyes lock with my shadow, someone I have little restraint with right now, Leah.

Before I can think I am slamming my glass down on the counter and walking briskly but confidently past Leah brushing her shoulder slightly as I pass, forcing my anger away as I make my way back into the living room. Before I get there I feel tension on my wrist as Leah swings me around towards her, a loud growl escapes the living room, I ignore it all my attention now on her, but I am perfectly aware of our large audience a mere 4 feet behind me in the living room.

"What! You want my attention, you have it speak…" I scream at her the anger, betrayal and every thing I have felt this week pouring out in my voice.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry for how I acted."

"Sometimes apologies aren't needed, and sometimes apologies will never be enough—at the moment it is unclear which category you fall into." My face is without emotion, my voice shrill and hard as I turn away from my best friend leaving her speechless and stunned.

The audience behind us I see looking away as I walk the few feet into the room, searching for a place to sit. There is only one place I have any desire to sit and it happens to be taken by Jake at the moment, the place next the Embry on the floor. He had moved since I was last in here, obviously talking to Embry while I was gone. My eyes lock with Jake's and he quickly moves getting my point swifter than I ever expected, his hand squeezes my shoulder as we pass each other in the middle of the room.

As I take a seat next to Embry, I hear him mumble, "Are you okay?" I just look at him and roll my eyes at his ignorance.

"Now that you all have had a seat, I'll start by stating briefly why we are here, tonight. Everyone is well aware of the events of the past few days and it has to stop, you should treat every member of the pack with respect. Respect that mistakes have been made on all our parts, you all need to find a way to come to terms with Embry, get it out of your system, get over it so we as a pack can stop letting this tear us apart." Sam belts out in his authoritative voice as every pack member silently listens.

"I expect you all here for breakfast tomorrow, and I expect this to be settled." Sam says before leaving.

The room still heavy with silence, everyone seems to be conversing without words, body language speaking mountains to everyone, but me.

"We'll see you out back in a few Embry." Jake says his eyes darting from him toward me before him and the rest of the pack exits through the back door.

The room now silent because it is empty except for him and me.

"Why are they all waiting for you outside?" I say breaking the quiet.

Embry looks down casting his eyes away from me, "To settle this, to 'talk' to me, don't worry."

"Why couldn't they talk to you here?" I ask confused by their choice of venue.

"We all have short tempers and that is how we phase or change into our wolf. Many of them are still angry and having 9 wolfs in the front room would be hazardous to the structure of the house." He says with a nervous laugh.

"They're going to hurt you?"

"No…Yes, but it's not like that, we also heal rather quickly I doubt you will see a scratch on me tomorrow."

"How is hurting you going to settle anything, how am I going to even be able to look at any of them knowing they willingly hurt you?"

"Don't think of it like that Larke, we fight all the time over things much smaller than this, the only reason we haven't settled this yet is because they were waiting until you made a decision, they didn't want to figuratively speaking hit me when I was down, it would take the fun out of it." He smirks at me, which sort of make me feel sick thinking they will have fun hurting each other.

"Fun?"

"Yeah…don't worry." His fingers trace my chin, his eyes locked into mine, his breath very hot against my face, which he is only inches from. Overwhelming feelings rush into me as it dawns on me what he is going to do, his eyes look down observing his target. I freeze the tension rising in me, waiting not sure I want him to, very sure that I do. Hot, warm, and slightly moist his lips find their target, pushing into to me roughly I feel myself being pinned against the floor suddenly. His hands just above my elbows securely against the floor, his body pressing me down slightly, but the only sensation gaining my attention is his tongue as it proceeds to be a dominant force against mine. His breath is ragged when he pulls away from me, his hands quickly release my arms repositioned on the carpet next to my head.

He looks at me in the eye fiercely as if contemplating something, his arrogant smirk spreads across the very lips I just had against mine making me want to look away but I don't. He leans in close to my ear whispers, "I have to go now." His grin grew bigger, he pulls back, and before I know it his hot tongue once again firmly slides across my face up towards my ear just as he did that night in the yard. "My desire to taste you is strong."

Without another word he left, I lie here stunned on the living room floor, the air cool on my face where his sticky saliva tingles against my skin, my brain still not fully functioning still lost in the feeling of his kiss. No kiss has ever felt like his kiss, something buzzed through me, radiating outward sending irrational chills through me as his overheated body burned against me. The outcome as you can imagine leaves me lost lying on the floor trying desperately not to think about where he went.

I drag myself off the ground and head up to my room, hoping to dream pleasant thoughts of Embry.

**I hope you liked this chapter the whole pack confronting Embry, i didn't expect to write that it just sort of felt like it had to be done Embry being osstricized from most of his pack would ultimately have negative effects on the pack but hope you enjoyed **


	34. Chapter 34

**Okay glad you all liked the last chapter i was surprised you liked the kiss scene, hope you are all ready for some action first ever try hope it doesn't suck, thats for the review you have no idea how much the bring me to write more on the next chapter ENJOY**

Jake's POV

Embry was more surprised than Seth by Larke's condition for going to the bonfire. I was sitting with Embry trying to convince him that moping around his house depressed with self-pity would not do any good. I kept telling him that Larke would come around, but he was relentlessly blaming himself and was progressing beyond the point of reason. Seth nearly tore the door off the hinges when he arrived, yelling at Embry to take a shower and get dressed.

As happy as I was for Embry we all knew what it ultimately meant, now that Larke and Embry might move on from this self-induced lull in their so-called relationship. It meant that later tonight, we would all gather to confront Embry, the segregation, and hostility between Embry and most of the pack needed to end. He knew it, I knew it, we all knew what would happen. Sam had already had it out with Embry and made it clear that it was something the rest of us would have to work out, Sam said he felt a twang inside himself due to having committed a similar transgression.

More than words would be said tonight, the hostility ran high among Jared and Quil both of them having imprints. Leah has been beyond herself letting what I call the old Leah to slip out and torment us all once again. My rage I feel I have under control, actually being there in the amidst it all left me with an odd feeling about it all, talking to Larke has also left me with more knowledge about the situation than I want to know going into this with the pack. I know I have to be there to prevent anything from going too far…how far is too far, it has to be enough to dispel their anger and resentment, but not too much that Embry can't recover. I doubtfully hope that it won't come it that, but in the end I know them and although they consider Embry part of their family as we all do, they feel betrayed.

As we wait for him out here in the clearing behind the Clearwater's house, no one says a word, as I am sure they are all gathering their thoughts; either pushing away their most vile in preparation for phasing or centering and focusing either on the very words they want to express before they phase or during. I secretly hope that most of the words are spoken long before anyone's tempers flare enough to force a phase. We have only met like this a few times in our short existence as a pack, after I returned from my 'vacation' of sorts is the one burned into my memory for obvious reasons, but when ever something comes up that isn't in the packs best interests tempers flare and things need to be settled.

Embry is close, we smell his scent long before we can hear him amble almost soundlessly through the trees. In true Embry fashion he arrives with a confident smirk on his face, casually walking into the clearing as if we were here for a birthday party. I almost laugh at his humor, wondering if he told Larke what was happening or if we lied…either way I'm sure something will be left to tell a tale tomorrow at breakfast, nothing too bad.

There is once again silence among us, I struggle knowing that I am the one in charge and know that I must start the conversation of sorts that we are having.

"It is apparent that Larke has forgiven you for the attack, do you have anything you would like to tell us before everyone tells you how they feel?" I say trying to sound confident but I know my resolve is wavering.

"Why can't you just except that I fucked up and get over it?" Embry says arrogantly, I guess we get to deal with this aspect of him instead of the Embry we all know he can be.

"Get over it, you permanently scared her, you could have killed her and you would have if Jake wouldn't have been there to pull you off of her." Jared says raising his voice but not quite yelling.

"Don't tell me what I would or would not have done Jared, you aren't me, no matter how much you hear in my head you still don't know it all." Embry replies.

"Can we even trust you around our imprints, can you even control yourself around humans, or are you that worthless that we have to keep our loved ones away from you." Quil says in a rather calm voice surprising me.

"Of course you can trust me, what do you want to hear that it was a mistake that I let my emotions get the best of me, that I am so fucking weak that I can't stand myself. Nothing I ever do will erase those marks from her, and she has the nerve to tell me that she likes them. It sickens me to think that, so just get this over with and do your worst at least you all have had the proper response to this." Embry says looking down.

"Stop acting all valiant like you want us to kick your pathetic ass, you don't wanting to be here anymore than Jake does…Fuck you she is my best friend. You enjoyed what you did to her, deep down somewhere inside that crazy brain of yours you wanted to attack her. You want her to be scared of you, to fear you so you can control her, am I right is that why you attacked her?" Leah shouts at him, stepping forward confronting him head on.

"No you're wrong." Embry defends but his voice catches.

"Sure wrong, that's what you want everyone to believe that you are in control, that you love her…but what is really going on here Embry is that you are holding back from us. I see it, I see it in her, you want to break her down so that she has to come running back to you with no one else to turn to. You want her to hate us; you want her all to yourself, no diversions, distractions, and interruptions. But I won't let you take her away to be your own personal slave; I know how your brain works Embry."

"Your wrong, stop twisting things, it is your pig headedness that is driving Larke away from you Leah. Stop judging her for decisions she makes and she will come around." Embry yells.

Just like that it went from a heated conversation to an outright brawl. Leah lunges, phasing in mid air. Embry is caught off guard, his eyes widen briefly, he flings himself forward letting the beast within him out. The first smell of blood stuns us all before Leah's teeth pull back from his shoulder. He lurches back, favoring the injured shoulder, a snarl of pain pounds through the heavy air. His breathing is labored, as the full force of pain lurches within him.

Leah doesn't falter from her attack position, rather sizing him up for the best possible course before her. Her teeth are bared and a hoarse growl emanates form deep within her chest. They circle crouching low; I see the eyes of my pack brothers full of apprehension and eagerness. They are eager for the fight; I however do not share their resolve afraid of my own uncertainty.

The circling doesn't last long, Leah lunges forward a loud growl erupting from her as she pounces. The adrenaline is running high in the pack as the tension of the fight brings several others to phase and join Leah in her assault on our pack brother.

The rest of us phase out of necessity for Embry is on the move, running through the forest not wanting to face us all at the same time. His shoulder bloodied from Leah's teeth, slows his progression as one by one each member of the pack takes the lead to throw him into the ground. Still regardless of his many injuries, his running is persistent, the smell of blood is in the air it radiates from him but blood has been drawn on all fronts.

Embry is slowing, his body not wanting to keep him going, but his paws continue thundering against the ground, purely thriving on adrenaline and endorphins alone. I have yet to confront my friend as the rest of the pack slows forcing me to the front, my thoughts unguarded they know how I feel, but I do what I must as I leap forward tackling my injured and battered friend to the ground with a loud snarl. I pin him without effort and he is beat, submits, and lies still beneath my massive paws. I growl low and deep my teeth inches from his face and with that, it is over, the pack disperses leaving me alone with Embry.


	35. Chapter 35

Jake's POV

I pull my self off my bloodied friend, for the first time taking in his injuries, knowing his pain as it also is in mine. The rest of the pack has phased back not wanting to hear his thoughts. I phase knowing his injuries need attention; I myself will be unable to give.

Phasing back to human form my be easy for me, not really having fought with Embry, but when your body is rattled with wounds and you feel like every muscle fibers is screaming within your body, it is beyond hard. Experience with phasing while being injured is something Embry does not have much experience with, I on the other hand would like to have less.

Embry whimpers as he pulls his body off the ground, his fur now blatantly matted with blood, his shoulder the most obvious wound gaping open. The damage is excessive to say the least but it could have been far worse. The other pack members would recover well before morning from Embry's defenses, but Embry's hope of not showing the signs of a fight do not look good.

He manages to phase back to his human self, his injuries only that much more apparent now that he is lacking fur. Our walk to Sam and Emily's house is slow, as I help Embry walk through the trees.

"You know what they all said wasn't true." I say breaking the silence between us.

"I really want to believe you Jake." He says in a strained voice.

"You know I…"

"Save it Jake, I understand just get me to Sam's okay." He says with a loud groan.

He didn't want to hear it, everyone probably already knows all my feelings on the subject. I had acted weak in the eyes of my pack, in not attacking him what did that say about me. Nothing I decide, I am strong regardless.

Larke's POV

Sleep overwhelmed me last night some where between thinking about how he licked me again and how he kissed me. My dream consisted of something out of the twilight zone. I dreamt of kissing Embry, he was on top of me again but mid kiss he changes into the wolf and I am kissing a dog ewww. What is my brain telling me? I hope that can't happen, what if it does? No, it can't that would just be wrong, regardless if it is Embry or not inside that wolf body I will in no way kiss an animal like that. Ewww, I push my dream from my mind hoping that I never have the courage to ask Embry if it would ever happen.

Throwing on some jeans and a thin-strapped tank top, I root around in my draws until I find a pair of matching arm warmers that encase my thumb and extend to my wrists driving off the chill. I head downstairs following my nose towards what I hope is a wonderful breakfast. Breakfast, shit I hope Embry is okay, they better not have hurt him, I will literally hit them with a rolled up newspaper or better yet castrate them all, male dogs aren't as aggressive after than has been done. I laugh at my line of reasoning. In the kitchen I only find Kim and Emily thankfully, none of the wolves are here yet, except for the three sleeping upstairs that is. I notice thankfully that someone already brewed some coffee, taking a large mug and savoring the warmth on my throat.

I take a seat at the island counter sipping my coffee trying to judge the atmosphere between me and the two pack girls. Nothing is said for about 10 minutes, making me wonder if I am still not in their good graces.

"Morning Larke, I hope you slept well." Emily says finally smiling brightly at me.

"I guess so, felt better when I was still asleep though." I frown into my cup of coffee.

"Don't worry about him; he's been up against plenty of things scarier than a few angry wolves." Kim laughs.

Emily laughs lightly along with her, I don't say a word as I wonder what exactly could be scarier than wolves. The legends couldn't have been truthful about the cold ones so to say, I mean that is ridiculous.

I still felt weird around them, not knowing just how to act around these so-called friends of mine anymore. It is beyond me, nothing makes sense. The pack and their silly rules and everything what kind of family beats you up after you do something wrong. It is like they really are just that a bunch of animals walking around pretending to be humans.

The first one to arrive is Jared, expected since Kim is here cooking; I leave the room heading for the living room coffee still in hand. Jared keeps his distance taking my former seat at the island counter.

As everyone starts trickling in I avoid their eyes, not wanting to talk to anyone as of yet. Just because what they did last night is supposed to settle things between them and Embry doesn't mean that I have to let things return to normal. Jake, Sam, and Embry are the last to arrive, and all I can say is that everyone acted as if nothing ever happened. They entered through the back door greeting everyone as they entered the dinning room.

"Don't even think about starting without me?" I hear Embry laugh after greeting everyone.

"Don't usually have to worry about that one Em, that stomach of yours always has you arriving early." I hear Emily tease him.

"Sorry Emily, there have been other things on my mind lately."

"Of course there has Embry," Seth says coming down the stairs and walking through the living room taking notice of me sitting alone, "But it seems your stomach maybe keeping you away from someone right now," Seth chides him winking at me as he exits the room.

Moments later Embry strolls into the living room and I gape at his shoulder when he takes a seat next to me on the couch.

"What did they do rip you arm off last night?" I gasp at the jagged line stitched on his bare shoulder.

"It's nothing it will be gone by tomorrow." He says casually.

"If something this bad heals in a day, what did they do to you that has already healed?" I shriek scanning his body for any signs of trauma.

"I told you don't worry about it…it is over and done with, they feel better and I feel better it is over with."

"I don't feel any better." I almost whisper.

"I'm fine, it isn't like it took it lying down I got some good hits in too, but this is just how it had to be, just accept this."

I feel sick, hearing Embry talk about how everything is fine, hearing him joke with his attackers, it is just wrong. I don't understand them, I don't understand him, I can't even understand myself.

Embry doesn't seem to care, has he done this to one of his fellow pack mates before, has he actually been on the other end of it all. He must have been, this couldn't have been the first time someone has stepped out of line so to speak. Can it really be that simple with them, punch your friend in the face a few times and everything is back to normal? I have never settled a disagreement that way, but I guess it comes down to the same principle in the long run you just have to do what will make you feel better and mend the friendship.

I close my eyes wanting to hide from Embry and his scrutinizing gaze; I want to hide from it all, why does my life have to have so many complications. I close my eyes tighter scrunching my face, counting the seconds between my breaths as I fight back my urge to run away, run away from him, them, and myself.

"Larke…snap out of it, open your eyes tell me what is wrong? What did I do wrong?" Embry's voice pained and anxious calls to me.

I open my eyes hesitantly looking at him, my words caught in my throat, as if my mouth would actually hear the messages from my brain at this moment. Nothing could be further from the truth, my brain simply wasn't functioning, the pathways from my brain to my mouth are clearly open, but nothing is being sent. Frozen, halted, unable to continue I simply stare at him, willing him to say something do something to provoke my feeble brain.

"What did I do tell me I'll fix it just don't look at me like this? I don't know what I did wrong?" He pleads with me the devastation and hurt in his voice breaking my brains resolve to stay out of this and I feel I can speak.

"Nothing. You did nothing wrong." I whisper wanting so much just to embrace him, wanting to be in his arms, but how can I…I can't…I won't…but I want to beyond anything I have ever wanted.

"Then what is wrong?" Embry asks again.

"I can't…I won't let myself…how I can…it is too much, not possible…" I stammer unable to get out what I want to say.

"You can't what accept this, accept what happened? Embry asks fishing for the answer.

"No. You…" I look down away from him, "How can I let myself fall for you…I can't…"

Okay I got it out; I let him know what my brain is telling me, screaming at me more likely.

He pulls me swiftly into his arms, enveloping me in his boiling embrace. He whispers in my ear, "Don't stop yourself from falling in love with me please don't…" His voice is strained as he chokes out the words into my ear.

He pulls me closer to him, only to crush my ragged breath from my lungs. I gasp at the shock and lack of oxygen. He releases me, swiftly pecks me on the cheek, and pulls me towards the dining room, towards everyone I would rather not see.

The looks have now changed, I could deal with the looks of pity, anger, and confusion but nothing prepared me for the looks on their faces now. I saw pain, understanding, bewilderment, discomfort, and the one that bothered me the most happiness. I centered my concentration adamantly on my food, not taking my eyes off the compartmentalized squares of my waffle. Waffles remind me of how my brain works; everything functions if the compartments hold, but when syrup fills up one compartment there is nothing stopping it from flowing into the next. The compartments become week with excess syrup allowing for the breakdown of the walls and that is what I am afraid of, letting down my walls, letting someone completely in. Embry just keeps pouring the syrup onto my waffle downing me metaphorically that is, in reality I don't like syrup that much only a little suffices.

After breakfast everyone abruptly has something to do except Leah and Embry who much to my displeasure both follow me into the living room comfortable sitting down before I can protest. Embry all but drags me into his lap after taking a seat on the couch while Leah casually sits in the facing recliner.

"So Larke have you let Embry seduce you yet?" Leah bellows across the room in typical loudmouth fashion I was used to at college making me laugh. Wait I am still suppose to be mad at her, but I couldn't resist laughing at the old joke she always threw at me when I was around a guy I liked.

Leah would always try to embarrass me around any guy she could tell I had any remote interest in by asking in various ways if I had had sex with them or did anything other than kiss them. Countless times my face has turned crimson, sending the guys around me into fits of laughter or embarrassment depending on who they were. Embarrassment didn't cover it when she said this type of risqué comments around one of my more traditionally morale friends. He like several of my friends considered sex a topic for after marriage, and the idea that such 'inappropriate things would take place between me and him' as he put it had offended him. Damage control to that situation was long and discomforting for both parties involved.

Bad memories and good ones flooded my mind at her comment; I wonder what Embry was thinking, truly not knowing this part of Leah's friendship with me. I wanted to continue the banter with her, but I still harbored ill feelings towards how she treated me and Embry. What the heck I think I can't hate her forever I do live with her? We would have to talk later or I'd have to torture her some how later, ha I do know a lot about her mysterious college life.

"You know me better than that L. I'm not you." I quip back at her.

"I know you want him Larke, you should just tell him he'll do the rest."

"Lea-uh…this is neither the time nor the place to discuss what I want or don't want from Embry right now." I say trying to sound casual not wanting to lose and

"I just thought you would give in by now no one has ever turned Embry Call down…don't think I have ever seen him try so hard." She laughs.

Embry has been a little tense behind me since Leah's first words, but at that last statement his tension because very obvious, he feels more like a stone slab than a man.

I suppress a giggle at noticing Embry's discomfort with the conversation. I turn my head to look at him, lifting my hand to his neck making sure he catches my gaze.

"Relax, I don't think I very keen on playing fetch with your wolfy self right now Embry." I say reaching up to peck him on the side of his jaw.

Leah laughs at my comment, almost hysterically.

"Do you have him potty trained yet or did you only teach him to fetch." Leah says between laughs.

"Now your being ridiculous L. so just stop before you go too far, you didn't win this time."

"What do you mean she didn't win?" Embry asks now quite confused about our little game.

"She was trying to embarrass me, she use to do this all the time when I was around any guy I had a crush on."

"This is the first time I haven't won Larke, but I'll get you…just wait." Leah says smiling.

"So this is normal, you talking about having sex…" Embry stammers losing his breath as he speaks.

"Quite normal yes…Larke here has just always lost my little game and turned red, bashful and either cowered or ran from the room. Both of which ultimately got her some attention from the guy in question." Leah explains.

"You two must have had an interesting friendship while at school." Embry muses outloud.

"I think I know the key though, no audience I'll have to try again in front of the pack." Leah giggles to herself.

"No, you wouldn't dare, I know plenty about you that I know nobody knows…" I threaten.

"Sure, sure…I'll see ya later I have patrol later and need a nap." Leah says exiting the room.

**Thanks for all the reviews again...this was kinda of a transition chapter hopfully reactions weren't a disappointment, but now that everyone is happy in the pack maybe Embry and Larkes relationship can progress hmmmmm, maybe guess you have to wait and see **


	36. Chapter 36

**Okay here is another chapter, hope you enjoy thanks for all the reviews love hearing your feedback and what you think i dont really like this chapter so i am posting it before i delete it all and start over again and i ended it cause i need to sleep hopfully i get inspired and i like what i write again hahha**

Larke's POV

Okay I have to admit it to myself now that I am speaking to Leah again I feel a little relieved, I mean I felt like I didn't belong since no one was really talking to me. Embry still doesn't seem back to his old bipolar crazy self but I guess I can't really expect that from him. Who attacks someone and isn't affected by it?

The mood in the house I relatively back to normal, but is always crawling with pack members especially around meal times. Now that I know everyone a bit better I don't feel as awkward around them but I still have my favorites of the guys mainly Seth, Jake, Collin, and of course I guess I am obligated to put Embry in there. At meal times the house is crazy, the guys are not only their wild animalistic selves but they are kind of rude and grouchy if there isn't enough food. Sue me it takes a bit of practice to cook for oversized, extremely hot (not talking bout the temperature) garbage disposals.

I haven't had any time to be alone with Embry since that morning Leah tried to embarrass me, but its not like I have been trying. He is around just as much as the rest of them, well maybe a bit more, but when he is he is one extreme or the other in his personality. Kind of a bit weird trying to talk to the really shy Embry and very annoying dealing with that egotistical piece of work he tries so desperately to pull off. Maybe I should ask him what has been going on in that mind of his…I mean why can't he find a balance between the inanely quiet and the obnoxiously arrogant.

A week has now passed; I am tired of putting up with the lack of Embry in my life. It took me a long time to convince myself of this last night as I lied awake thinking. I came to the conclusion that if I want answers from him, I will have to drag him out of this house again and demand them. I know I know out of character for me, but you know what I will just have to suck it up and jump in feet first again regardless what anxiety and fears I have over the matter. No, I can't do it…I have changed my mind, but what if I need to do this I mean I can't live in this purgatory forever. I'll confront him at breakfast I decide better sooner than later.

I head downstairs to help with breakfast hoping there is more than just Leah in the kitchen. Sometimes Kim or Emily show up to help, but we never know when they will drag themselves away from their mornings with their imprints. Luck is with me today, Leah is alone but she has already placed the large quantities of potatoes, ham and eggs on the dining room table.

"Need any help L.?" I ask grabbing a cup of coffee, which I realized since I bought the coffee pot that others have taken up the morning ritual.

"You can grab the juice and milk from the fridge before everyone arrives, I don't want them knocking the shelves off like last time." I laugh not quite knowing what she is talking about, but I can only imagine.

"You actually managed to get the food on the table before they arrived, what kind of magic you got up your sleeve."

"I told them all last night that you and me were cooking in the buff and not to arrive till 8 and no one wanted to test Embry's will power not to gouge their eyes out if they saw you naked." She laughs.

"Really it is that easy to keep them away, maybe we should change the houses dress code, I mean they all walk around with nothing but shorts on all the time why can't I." I say as I hear muffled laughter from behind me. I whip around as fast as I can only to have my eyes bug out of my skull at the 4 men standing there with large grins on their faces.

"As much as I would love you see you in nothing but shorts, I think you would die of embarrassment and that would break my heart." Embry says smirking at my already red face and horrified expression.

"Oh you think so, why don't we give it a try." I say hating that he is right, calling his bluff hoping beyond all else he stops me. I reach for the bottom of my pajama top and pull the bottom slowly up my hips revealing my part of my skin.

Just as I am in total melt down in my head about revealing my bare upper half to 4 men, he has his hands on my arms stopping me. "I don't think so Larke." He says sternly.

I laugh at his sour expression, thankful for him stopping me. "Thanks, I didn't really want to do that." I say honestly, my witty comebacks lost from my mind with his touch.

"I know." He says smoothly, "But I think you would have."

I know I am being mean but I decide to throw it at him regardless, "Embry, after breakfast we have to talk." I say in my serious voice.

I hear a chorus of uh-oh's and what you do now's from the now larger group of men standing just behind Embry. Embry's slight smile disappears at my words but I smile at him trying to reassure him and to calm myself hoping I haven't bitten off more than I can chew, meaning will I still have this courage after breakfast is over.

We sit down at the table as breakfast commences and before he starts shoveling heaps of food into his mouth he leans towards my ear and asks, "Did I do something wrong?" the worry and tension rolling off his tongue makes me feel a tad bit guilty.

"Eat, don't worry it's nothing bad." I try and reassure him.

It doesn't reassure him because he still hasn't put anything on his plate. He is just sitting there looking at me, like I just told him I murdered his dog or something. I contemplate what to do for a few more seconds before I grab his plate and pile heaps of food on to it. Placing it back in front of him, I kiss him on the cheek, "Now eat." I laugh as I watch him turn his eyes from me to the plate and back to me before putting the food in his mouth.

"Good boy." I laugh and everyone at the table about chokes on their food at my comment. Paul was the only one to actually have orange juice explode out his nose all over his plate, just causing laughter the bellow through the house.

Embry just stops eating glaring at me, "Aww, don't be mad at me, it was a joke I'll make it up to you later." I promise which does the trick because he starts to finish his meal.

He couldn't have eaten faster if he tried and just as I place the last potato from my plate into my mouth he says, "Okay breakfast is over…time to talk."

"Are you that anxious Embry, you know when girls say 'we need to talk' it is their way of saying something bad is going to happen regardless of what they say before hand." Seth laughs.

"Like you would know twerp." Embry sneers back at him as he waits expectantly next to my chair at the dining table.

"Come on." I say getting up from the table and walking out of the dining room.

"Where are we going?" Embry asks.

"I don't know somewhere where we won't be bothered by the rest of the gigantic buffoons you call friends." I joke, but seriously didn't want to be interrupted.

"Would you be opposed to going to my house?" He asks quietly.

I hadn't been back to Embry's house since he carried me there that night. I didn't even remember where it was, but I wonder how I would feel being back there. I wonder if he cleaned, probably not he is still a guy. Questions and worries flood my brain but before I can stop myself I agree to go to his house.

His living room was just as I remembered it, messy, dirty, and not the most appealing. I surveyed the room noticing more mess had accumulated since I was here last, much to my dismay, but I pushed cleanliness out of my head and focused my thoughts on what I needed to say. I took a seat on Embry's ratty couch and got comfy, memories from that night tempt me away from my intended conversation, but I struggle but don't waver.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Embry ask wearily sitting down next to me.

"Well, you see, I mean what I what to say is that..." I sigh. "This was easier in my head."

"Isn't it always easier before you actually decide to say it out loud."

"It's just, I don't want to hurt your feelings, I don't blame you." I say looking at the worry in his eyes returning.

"You can tell me or ask me anything Larke, please don't stop just because you think it will hurt my feeling, if something is bothering you I want to know."

Damnit here he goes being the very Embry that I like and a middle ground between the two extremes, "Damnit," I couldn't help it from coming out.

"What!?"

"It's just you're making this difficult without even realizing it, and now I have you and I don't want to ruin it." I blurt out knowing he is going to take it the wrong way.

He smirks at me, and I know my suspicions are correct, he took it the wrong way.

"Okay, I am just going it say it so pay attention, all week you have been either very shy and aloof or have been extremely cocky and irritating beyond measure and I wanted to know why, why I can't have the guy you were being a moment ago. I want to understand you…it is driving me insane and that is not good considering both of us have already been measured for a straight jacket so to speak."

Nervous laughter, not good…troubled eyes, also not good. I close my eyes not wanting to see any more parts of his expression that equal a bad response to my confession, well it is more like stating the obvious facts.

"I know you want a straight forward answer from me, I know because I would love to have one to give you, but I don't. It didn't occur to me that you noticed that much, I guess just wishful thinking, but I can't control my mood swings all the time. Half the time I don't even realize it, it just seems natural to me. It is ironic that the two extremes you see are exactly who I have been most of my life…before I became the arrogant asshole you know all to well, I was kinda shy…it changed when I became a wolf, you know."

"What do you mean became, haven't you always been a wolf?" Now I am confused, Embry and I haven't really talked about all the details of werewolves yet, it just hasn't come up.

"Well, when I was 16 I transformed for the first time, before that I never knew…the signs were there, others were watching me—growth spurts, sensitive hearing, headaches, and erratic behavior. You know going from being a gawky, thin teenager to what resembles a 25 year old muscular man sure changed my attitude and behavior."

"Really…"

"It might stem from the fact that I have been trying to suppress the urges that seem to overcome me at times, the result is that to suppress them I become withdrawn to stop myself from acting on them or an ass which lets a bit of it out, I guess."

"Is it really that hard for you? I mean is it hard for you now, having me alone with you at your house?" I ask a little scared of his answer.

"Yes, but it is a good yes, not a bad you need to be worried yes. What I mean is that it is hard for me having you alone, but I can handle it because I am alone with you. Sorry that doesn't make any sense does it?"

"No, not really, but I think we need to talk about something less stressful now that you have enlightened me about your inner demons. Ask me something, you want to know? And nothing serious." I laugh.

"Okay, promise to answer," I nod. "Have you ever had dreams about me?"

"Yeah." I say hesitantly several recent dreams popping into my head turning me a distinct pink.

"Oh, tell me one of the dreams making you blush." He smiles at me as my eyes try not to bug out.

I was not going to tell him any of my dreams that were beyond PG I mean my mouth can't form those words in front of him, plus it would give him the wrong idea…I mean I don't want to have sex with him for real. What could I tell him that would satisfy his curiosity? No,…I can't tell him that my brain recoils at the idea of telling him the dream I had after our first kiss. Mortified, it would be completely wrong.

"Come on tell me one, please I promise not to laugh, unless absolutely warranted."

"I already know you are going to laugh," I roll my eyes, "I can't believe I am actually going to tell you this, I told myself I never ever would."

"Oh goodie must be juicy." He licks his lips dramatically and my eyes watch the movement of his tongue momentarily distracting me.

"Okay, I was dreaming of our first kiss, but as you were," I clear my throat, "kissing me, you turned into a wolf, but were still kissing me the same way."

"Is that it?" He asks amusement very evident in his voice.

"Yeah I'm not going to describe it in details you have an imagination just as good as mine."

"Indeed I do, probably better…" He smirks at me, "You think we should give your dream a try see if it is possible?"

"No, ewww I am not kissing you that way when you aren't human." I shriek.

"No kissing does that mean you might be up for other things when I'm not human?"

"You're sick, I will never."

"Joke, Larke it was a joke okay."

"Sorry, you didn't sound like you were joking; you would never do that to me would you?"

"Don't be ridiculous, I'd never ask or try such a thing."

"Good." I say crossing my arms across my chest.


	37. Chapter 37

**Okay i haven't been ignoring my story, i have just been at my grandma's house near chicago and her internet was down stupid city people can't keep their modems straight well anyway it was great reading all the reviews today now that i am back online and all. Here is the next Chapter enjoy**

Larke's POV

"So is that all you wanted to talk to me about?"

"I told you it was nothing bad, I just want to understand you better?"

"Mission accomplished?"

"For now."

"Next time be a little more subtle, no need for the formality." He laughs and I remember the looks he gave me when I told him we needed to talk. I just rolled my eyes at him.

"You know your house is really a pig sty I though you were more of the wolf variety." I chuckle at my silly joke. Embry looks amused but I see his eyes scanning the living room.

"I guess you right I mean I never thought about it before, none of the pack mind, we don't normally hang out here, I'm not really here that often either, unless you count the past few days." He explains.

"Well, before you offer to bring me here again you better clean it up…or"

"Or what?" He mocks me.

"Or I'll…well I don't know what I do but it will be bad?" I stammer with an emphasis on the bad.

"Really I think I would like to see that, you being bad." He smiles like he is picturing it in his head."

"Oh shut it…I can only imagine what you interpret bad to mean."

"Your imagination can't even come close to what goes on in this mind of mine." He says tapping his temple with his index finger.

"Have a lot going on up there do ya now? Sure had me fooled." I laugh.

"You know you are being awful mean to me today, and I thought you said you were going to make it up to me later, not tease me about my mental capacity." He says this with a sorrowful look on his face that any idiot could tell was false.

"I said later but not how much later, but just for future reference what do you think would be sufficient to make it up to you?"

"Are you really asking me that? I mean, would you really give me anything I want?"

"Well, within reason or eventually but not necessarily right now, that's where the whole for future reference thing comes in."

"Well then you'll just have to wait till the future arrives to find out what I want to do to you," he coughs, "With you that is."

I involuntarily blush at his words as my own mind runs haywire.

"Awww, is it that easy to make you embarrassed, you sure seemed impermeable when Leah was harassing you."

"That was the first time I ever won, it was probably just a fluke."

"What it was never just you, Leah, and the guy she was trying to embarrass you with?"

"No, it's not the first time without an audience."

"Just the first time you won…so the only difference was it was me?"

"Not the only difference."

"Yeah?" He leans closer to me asking, " What else?"

"I'm not telling…" I laugh, "Don't think you would believe me if I did."

"What?!"

"You can't know all my secrets?"

"I know more than you think, so just tell me."

"What do you mean, you know more than I think?" Suddenly afraid of what he is talking about could Jake have actually told him my secrets.

"It's nothing I just mean." He says and leans in stealing a kiss from me, I say steal because I was taken completely off guard. Every thought I had in my head melts away as he deepens the kiss. His slowly pushes himself into me, right hand trailing down my side resting at my hip, as my back hits the plush couch he once again has manages to pin me completely. Completely encased by the inferno resonating from his body I can hardly withstand feeling my own body temperature rise adding to the firestorm.

This kiss feels entirely different, faster more urgent, he is more aggressive, his hands aren't complacent with being sedentary, but have traveled and explored my shoulders, my sides and my back. He leaves my mouth descending to my neck eliciting a slight moan from me. It is entirely too hot having him concentrating on my tender neck, his mouth not relenting, his teeth becoming more adventurous nip and graze my skin.

My brain doesn't seem to be functioning normally, but when I feel his hands snaking into a new realm where no man has ever been before I tense against his touch. His are fingers trailing just inside the waistband of my jeans.

"Embry…" I manage to say but it only brings his mouth back over mine, I grab his wrist with one of my hands. It is like he doesn't even feel my touch on his wrist, or he ignores it. In one swift movement his hand is no longer on my waistband, both of his hands are trailing up my sides grabbing my hands as they move. He pulls them quickly now abruptly pinning them in one hand above my head he continues to kiss me roughly the whole time. He pulls away from me slowly, looking me in the eyes.

"Embry stop." I cry out almost fearful at what will happen if I let him continue. He smirks at me, the arrogant one I hate.

"I thought you said you would make it up to me." He says crassly causing me to close my eyes and turn my head to the side away from him.

No this can't be happening I think, as I lie beneath him waiting hoping that he would stop. My doubt rising turning slowly into my friend fear, fear that I don't want, I do not want to be afraid of the very someone that can make me feel so great, so sane. Just as fast as it started, I am left lying on the couch void of Embry's presence. Startled by his sudden absence I look around the room rapidly searching for him, but just as I thought he is nowhere in my sight. I sit up and for the first time I realize that there are tears on my cheeks; I don't even recall when I started to cry.

"Embry." I choke out in a shrill scream as I rise off the couch looking for any evidence of where he escaped to. All that is in me is telling me to leave now, forget him, but for some reason I can't I need to see him now.

Would he still even be in the house or morphed into his wolfy self. The house without Embry by my side has a depressing feel. The whole house is in disarray, I observe as I walk cautiously down the long hallway. My investigations of the bedrooms and bathroom clearly indicate that Embry has vacated the premises. I know I won't ever be able to find him in the woods, gosh why did I have to react like that. I should have just let him do what he wanted. No, He shouldn't be so sensitive to being told to stop, he is being an ass not me. I have every right not to let him, but he did stop when he obviously could have held me down. Should I be mad? I think I might be worried about him.

I sink down to the floor collapsing against the wall in the hall, at a loss of what to do. Tears once again streak down my cheeks for what reason I am unsure so many reasons confound me. I guess the only thing I can do is go home and wait for him to find his sanity again.

I drag myself up off the dirty floor wiping my tear-ridden eyes with the back of my arm. I quickly stubble to the front door and out into the muggy evening, turning down the road that leads to the other side of town. I can't stop my eyes from darting around searching for him, looking at the surrounding forest for any glimpse of a wolf. The walk back to the house seems to take an eternity, an eternity of silence filled with my constant bitter thoughts of doubt and regret.

The house unfortunately is not void of werewolves when I step through the front door. I realize that it is later than I thought as I glance around at what is left from dinner. Jake, Leah, Seth and Paul are all that are left of what I assume was the whole pack.

"Hey, Larke what have you and Embry been up to all day?" Leah asks as I walk into the living room.

"Nothing much." I shrug and plop down on the couch in the only available space between Seth and Jake.

"Really, sure were gone long enough for nothing much to be all that happened?" Seth laughs.

"I'm sure you'll all get the damn play by play eventually." I grumble at the three of them.

"Oh yeah, something happened alright." Leah says animatedly.

"Not saying anything, the only way I can have anything to myself is not to tell anyone; some things are best not repeated." I say angrily looking squarely at Jake, remembering Embry's confession to knowing more about me than I think he knows.

"What did I do?" Jake says innocently defending himself against my obvious accusations.

"It's not what you did; it is what you didn't do." As I say this Leah, Seth, and Paul exit the room all claiming they had something to do all of a sudden, leaving before I accuse them.

"Okay, what didn't I do?" Jake asks still pretending to be innocent and lost.

"Don't act like you don't know, I trusted you Jake, you had no right to tell him anything."

I accuse him of my worst fears hoping for him to tell me I am wrong, praying that he hasn't told him all my secrets.

"He told you that I told him?" Jake says looking down placing his head in the palms of his hands.

"Not exactly, I came to the conclusion on my own based on something he let slip, but he didn't let me interrogate him about it so I thought I would come straight to the horses mouth so to speak."

"Sorry…" He mumbles.

"How much exactly did you tell him, I know you can block things Jake so is it just him or does everyone know…do you get a kick out of telling him things about me he doesn't know…" I say harsher than I wished it to come out.

"He was worried about you…it was the least I could do after not allowing him to chase you into the woods that day. I know it doesn't make it okay, I betrayed your confidence, but that is the only thing I told him, it's not like I replay ever conversation I have ever had with you."

"I'm so glad I can trust you…" I say sarcastically, "I can't trust you, I can't trust Leah, I can't trust him… will I ever be able to trust anyone again."

"You can trust all of us Larke, it is just a different kind of trust."

"A different kind, what should I just think about you and everyone else I know here like one large brain divided into several different bodies." I say icily.

"You think we love sharing our personal thoughts and actions with 9 others, I mean privacy is limited, and you know what, it sucks knowing the details of the personal lives of those of us who have imprinted. It is like rubbing it in our faces every time we have patrol or phase with those who have. It is something I don't like to admit, but I am jealous of those who have. Settling for something less than what I know is the best simply isn't realistic…it is like a kick in the face, a jab in the stomach, or an endless lack of oxygen knowing I might never experience it. I have to either wait for what I know may never happen or settle for someone knowing one day I may betray my love for her because I imprinted on someone else. So believe me when I say knowing each others thoughts and feelings is less than a picnic in the park, it is closer to a living hell." Jake says at a low shout, his rant opens my eyes to his life as a pack member and what it may be like. He spoke so confidently about imprinting and what agony he is in because of it makes me wonder if imprinting is just a cruel joke to cause the werewolf population to remain low, or in some sick sense, it might just push up the numbers of offspring if the wolves take one wife only to imprint on another.

I don't know what to say, following that I just have nothing. I just sit there on the couch waiting for the silence between us to end.

"So where is Embry, since he didn't come back with you do you mind if I ask why?" Jake says glancing at me.

"You can ask but I don't think I can tell you where he is, he ran out of his house and left me there."

"He just left you there for no reason?"

"Oh there was a reason, just not a very good one, he's an asshole, but that isn't the point, don't worry about it Jake, I'm not."

"Sure your not, I may not be inside your head but you are easy to read when it comes to Embry, everything else not so much."

"I don't want to talk about it, I'm going to bed." I say standing up and leaving a sullen Jake in the living room.

Not only did Jake not deny that he told Embry my darkest secrets but if Embry knows I bet that everyone knows, that's how it works right. Jake told me something that caught me off guard, imprinting not only affects to two in the relationship, but it has a very negative affect on the others in the pack. Sure, they are happy for their friends, but deep down there is a resentment lurking, waiting for their own chance at the raw, deep emotional state elicited by the strange bond. What could hurt more than knowing that you may never have something you know is possible, that would realign your world, and bring you emotions so intense that your brain has a hard time fathoming the connection. I have come to the conclusion that life sucks.

This day couldn't end any sooner. I crawl into bed not even bothering to put on Pj's I just pull off my jeans and climb in. Almost instantly I fall into a dreamless sleep, the next moment I am shocked awake by the sound of sheeting rain pounding on the house. I bolt upright in bed, a dark looming figure is sitting at my desk, before my brain can respond with a scream alerting my housemates to the intruder it speaks.

"Larke, it's okay it is just me." I hear and instantly recognize the voice breathing a sigh of relief that some stranger isn't trying to kill me.

"Shit you scared me to death what are you doing in my room Embry?"

"I wanted to apologize for earlier, I'm sorry for scaring you…I never meant to push you too far…"

"I don't care, I mean I care that you apologized but I didn't want you to run away from me when you realized what happened, you should have stayed.

"What?!" Embry now shocked leaps up from his perch and ambles over to my bed nestling in next to me.

"I mean I would have preferred if you would have stayed with me, I was worried, hurt, and beyond confused by your actions."

"I guess I didn't know what to say…"

"That's not a good excuse regardless you can't run away from me every time you lose control so next time don't."

He is silent, just gazing at me. "You know this is the first time I have been in your bedroom with you alone." He whispers.

"How'd you get in here anyway?"

"The front door how else, its not like it is locked, I mean what did you expect me to climb through you window like some love sick teenager, it isn't like your parents are guarding your door." He laughs and leans next to me into a lying position placing his arm around me.

"I'm really am sorry I made you cry." He whispers and suddenly kisses below my ear, "You know, you told me you let other guys get to second base and all you allow me to do is kiss you." His kisses below my ear resume.

"Sorry, I guess you might just want to try and not run away next time we are having a heated make out session, who knows if you hadn't of freaked out and ran away what would have happened."

"You're just teasing me now…" He says just before he catches my lips in a short kiss.

"Well, this might make you happy, you're the first man I have ever had in my bed with me, but as far as that goes sleep is truly calling my name, so if you want to stay your gonna have to be good dog and go to sleep."

I settle in with my back against his hot chest, loving the warmth surrounding me. Nothing could relax me more than having Embry's strong arms around me, holding me close.


	38. Chapter 38

**Okay another Chapter couldn't wait to write this one...Thanks for all the reviews you know i love them being connected to the internet again sure pushes my writers block away, i just couldn't write much without it, oh well ENJOY oh yeah and wow favorites and alerts thanks makes me feel good knowing people like my story**

Larke's POV

Heat, boiling heat surrounding me like a egg dropped into a pot of boiling water, I felt like a egg being hard boiled, encased within a secure shell of warmth with no way to move or escape. I can't move, I can't breathe for when I abruptly awoke I was pulled further into the solid brick wall of fire behind me. Sweat is pouring off me, as I take in my current surroundings, noticing one I have no pants on and two my tank top has ridden up covering nothing more than my bra.

"Embry wake up," I mumble trying to free my arms from his vice lock grasp around my whole body, "Embry!" I say a little louder.

"Huh." He mumbles incoherently and clears his throat.

"Do you mind…I can hardly breathe here." He grip loosens but just enough for me to wiggle so that I am facing him. I want to be able to tell if he is actually awake or faking.

His face is peaceful, his mouth slightly open, there are no signs of him actually being awake except for his change in breathing.

"I know your awake, but don't open your eyes." I say remembering the state of my clothing, which reminds me I haven't even fixed my shirt yet.

"And why not?" He says pulling me closer to him stopping any attempts I might have made to pull my shirt down. His eyes start to open.

"Stop!" I whisper shout and thrust my hand to cover his eyes.

"Why? What don't you want me to see?" He says laughing slightly.

"It's just that I don't have any pajamas on." I say and wishing I didn't as I watch his smile widen his hands not behaving themselves finding the bare skin on my stomach. "Embry." I whine at him.

"What you said no looking, you never said I couldn't explore your lack of bedroom attire, not that I mind I mean I might prefer you in less clothing when we are in bed together."

"We are not in 'bed together'!" I say incorrigibly.

"Really, I'm the one that can't see and I can plainly tell that you and I are both in bed with a fair amount of skin exposure going on."

"Who are you and what did you do with the man I wanted to sleep with last night." Oh may why don't I just stick my foot in my mouth now. I can't believe I just said that.

"Really now, you'd sleep with him, but not me…I think I might be jealous." He says smirking at me, "But what surprises me more is that you actually admitted you want me. Well at least part of me, but I'll take what I can get."

"You're awful, you do know that don't you?" I laugh completely forgetting why my hand is across his eyes and use it to smack him in the arm, "Owww,"

"Now you want me to look don't you," He says loosening his grip on me and pulling me slightly away from him. His eyes take in the sight before I can stop him.

"Close your eyes you ass and let me up, or you will never see an inch of my skin again."

I threaten.

"Really, how would you stop that from happening?" He is now amused with my threat, I roll my eyes at him.

"I'll just have to gouge out your eyes with a crowbar, that way you won't be able to see me but I can still keep you around for good measure."

"Okay I'll humor you, get dressed." He says releasing me. I scramble off the bed but just before I do Embry smacks me lightly across my behind.

"Hey!" I say outraged.

"What I didn't open my eyes?" He says innocently, but Embry Call is far from innocent at least that was apparent upon first introductions, can't say much about all the other details of him.

I got a pair of jeans and another tank top out of my drawers and quickly threw them on, careful not to brush my now almost healed scabs on my shoulders. I can't wait until I can see the scars, I have the urge to run my fingers across them. I stop myself from gazing at them in the mirror knowing I didn't want to bother Embry with my fascination of his bodily harm to me again. I would tell him again some other time after he had time to get over it, he needs time to heal too I imagine.

When I turn around Embry is lying on the bed watching me intently, he opened his eyes, I should have known he couldn't be trusted. I glare at him, and head to my bedroom door without a word, heading down to the breakfast I can smell cooking. Embry is hot on my heals in an instant. I laugh silently at my thought of him being just like a dog, but that only brings my disturbing dreams from last night back to the forefront of my mind. I grimace at the thoughts wondering what it means.

"What is that look for?" Embry asks as we walk down the stairs side by side.

"I'll tell you later when we are alone, I don't want to feel like I have an audience even though I know I will." I say as we walk into the overcrowded dining room.

"Can't wait, that dream you had was priceless Larke." Paul laughs, "I wouldn't mind getting hot and heavy with a girl when I'm a wolf."

I blush at the fact that he is talking about not only my dream but the conversation I had with Embry, I groan at the thought that I only have privacy with him until he goes wolf again.

"Shut up Paul, don't embarrass her this early in the morning, she's rather cranky already." Embry replies.

"I didn't think you would jump in bed with Embry so soon…" Leah says her voice laced with suggestive overtones.

"Shut up Leah, you know me better than that, I wouldn't have sex with Embry just because he snuck into my room in the middle of the night." I throw back at her.

"Sure, we will all know the truth soon enough." She says smirking at me.

"Lets just eat and quit talking about my non-existent sex life." I say plopping into a vacant chair at the table.

"You know it doesn't have to stay that way." Embry whispers in my ear, "That's one problem I would be more than willing to help you with."

"I never said it was a problem." I grudgingly say under my breath as I grab my portion of the scrambled eggs and toast.

There are several things that I am beginning to hate about werewolves. They all seem to be incredibly cocky, maybe not all the time but they all have their little moments of cocky annoyingness. That whole no privacy thing is getting to me, I wasn't even thinking about it until this morning, I mean couldn't they just pretend they didn't know. Ignorance is bliss, who ever said it wasn't surely didn't have to live with werewolves who can't keep secrets if their lives depended on it.

"So I was thinking Larke," Embry starts talking to me with his mouth full, "Me and you should go on a date, you know all official," He says with a bit a egg falling out of his mouth when he smiles at me at the end. Comical is not the word for it, Embry just asked me out with his mouth full, not to mention food wasn't just in his mouth it was falling out of his mouth. I stifle a laugh, not wanting to hurt his feelings, but I can't help but look away holding back everything that comes to my mind forcing it to just stay put in my head. I am not going to be mean, I say to myself silently thankful he couldn't read my mind.

What do I say? I have to say something right, I can't just let him think that I wouldn't go on a date with him. Where do werewolves take their dates to the monster ball? No, I remind myself just because he is a werewolf doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings. Just because he is a werewolf doesn't mean he doesn't think about normal kinds of dates.

Before I can stop myself I open my big mouth, "On one condition, after I go on a date with you I want a date with your wolfy side." I am horrified at my own voice saying such things and in front of most the pack, I close my eyes wanting to disappear from the earth.

I hear a round of whoohoo's and oh la la's sound off before I hear Paul's voice, "You know what that means Em, she wants to get busy with your wolf, try out that dream of hers."

"We all know you think about it Embry, I mean how could you not…" Jared says getting a evil glare from Kim.

"That's not what I meant." I almost whisper as I blush at Paul and Jared's comments.

"Come on Larke, let's go, before I lose my temper." Embry says grabbing my wrist and leading me out the backdoor.

He leads me away from the house but instead of going anywhere, he simply pulls me down into the grass in the middle of the backyard. The sun feels great on my face and shoulders as I fall back against the cool grass. Embry mimics my actions but props himself up on his elbow to look at me.

"Don't listen to them, they are just teasing you because of me, I have always been the comic relief, the one they make fun of. Sorry to drag you into the mess."

"So do you really want to take me on a date or were you just trying your hand at multitasking, you know eating, thinking, and talking all at the same time."

He looks almost thoughtful for a second before answering, "Yes I would very much like to take you out somewhere, and I didn't mean to ask you with my mouth full it just came out." I laugh remembering what else came out of his mouth.

"Can I ask you why you want to spend time with my wolf?" He says cocking his head slightly and looking a bit worried.

"You want the truth."

He nods slowly waiting.

"I can't seem to get that part of you out of my mind, I dreamt about you turning in to a wolf again and this time my dreams were not very PG so to speak."

"So was Paul right you want to act out your dreams." He said sounding almost hopeful.

"Don't get your hopes up Embry, I just thought that if I did get to spend time with you in that form the dreams might go away, they are a little disturbing you know."

"Disturbing?"

"Yeah how would you like to dream about having sex with a elephant or some other animal."

"That's different; I don't know any other shape-shifters besides those that turn into wolves."

"So you would jump into bed with me if I was a wolf and you couldn't turn into one?"

"I don't know, but it sure sounds hot from my end being the wolf that is."

"I'll just add that to my list of things I don't want to hear you repeat."

"There's a list?!" He says shocked.

"Not literally, but it's not like that is the first thing I would rather not hear you say again."

He looks hurt by my words, boy he looks cute when he looks like that.

"So when is the big double date?" I ask now curious and anxious about my dates.

"Ummm, how about tomorrow night, I'll take you out and then the next day you can experience the other side of me."

"Okay." I say a little disappointed that he didn't want them happening on the same night, but I suppose that daytime might be better for the viewing of his wolfy self.


	39. Chapter 39

Larke's POV

"I can't believe you said yes to going on a date with him, I mean when was the last time you were actually on a date?" Leah asks as she rummages through my closet looking for something for me to wear.

"You mean like a real date where someone asked me out, ummm that would be never, I've always just hung out with people? What about this shirt?" I say pulling out a dressier shirt than I usually wore.

"No, you need to look nicer than a fitted t-shirt. You know it might hurt his ego if you like him as a wolf more than you like the human Embry. Here try this on." She hands me a flouncy skirt and a knit top.

"I can't wear that I'll feel stupid." I say eyeing the knee length skirt with contempt, the only reason I owned it was because I had worn it to a funeral of my college professor.

"Oh come on what else do you have to wear, I mean what is wrong with this it is just a skirt…you have to want to look nice for him, you can't fool me Larke. Just put these on and then let me do your hair and make up."

"But I don't need either done…I mean what is wrong with my hair how it is, and I don't want my face to itch, so I'll wear the clothes and let you do my hair if you let me decide on my makeup." I bargain with her.

"Fine but don't yell at me if you don't get lucky tonight."

"Like I really need to tempt him anymore, he has a hard enough time as it is." Rolling my eyes at her.

I put on the skirt, a skirt I mean I have never been a skirt type of girl let alone a short skirt girl and with this one you can see my legs, my horrid legs. I pull on the knit top which I never wear even with jeans, it is low cut with these large open sleeves that are sorta flared out at the ends leaving gaping holes. If I looked up my sleeves, I would definitely get a view of the rest of my chest, not that anyone would go around looking up people's shirtsleeves.

I look at myself in the mirror and frown not liking my too girly dressy appearance, it is just not me I think to myself. I guess it is only for one night. I can deal with it.

I find Leah in the bathroom toying with a curling iron, I mean what the heck does she think she is going to do with that, my hair is going to turn to frizz. I sat on the toilet while she twirled and spritzed my hair into what I dreaded would be a frizzed out bad 80's style poof. She pulled me up and to the mirror and I am surprised to say the least.

My hair not only isn't frizzy but also isn't over the top, soft curls flow down pooling at my shoulders.

"Happy?" Leah asks expectantly.

"Yeah, thanks for not going overboard, I don't think I can pull off that glitzy glamour girl look." I giggle at my appearance.

"Come on he'll be here to pick you up soon."

Before Leah drags me downstairs, I pause to put on some lip-gloss that is slightly tinted, and that is all the makeup I can stand at the moment. It's not like I have a raging zit in the middle of my forehead or anything. I follow Leah down the stairs and halfway down I realize we are anything but alone, voices carry easily in the house how could I not have noticed them.

In the front room, I find Jake, Seth, Collin, Brady, and Quil staring at me like I was an alien from another planet. Suddenly I feel very self-conscious, I mean didn't Leah tell me I looked great only moments ago.

"L. I thought you said I looked okay." I whisper to her hastily and as I do the 5 males all look away suddenly having more interest in the TV.

"You do, that's the point." She says as the front door opens, "Embry's here."

I whip around suddenly eager to see what he is wearing, am I dressed wrong. My first glimpse of him is shocking, he has a button down shirt on with sleeves, jeans that aren't stained, and shoes—can you believe it shoes I don't think I have ever seen shoes on the boy. I feel my eyes widen as I take in his fully clothed appearance, I could swear my mouth is hanging open.

"You look great." Embry says walking towards me.

"Your feet look huge with shoes on." What did I just say to him, God help me not sound like a bumbling idiot tonight. I roll my eyes at the laughter behind us as I try and fight the embarrassment. "So are we going or are we going to be the entertainment for tonight." I say motioning to the peanut gallery behind me.

"Uh, yeah let's go." Embry says turning back towards the front door where he came from.

"So where are we going?" I ask as we settle into the car.

"Ummm, were going to get something to eat first, then I am going to take you somewhere if you still want to be around me after dinner."

"Very informative, but not what I asked."

He didn't elaborate anymore, leaving me in the dark as he drove down the road. After about 10 minutes I couldn't stand the silence and started racking my brain for something to say.

"So how does it feel to have so many clothes on?" I ask once again laughing at my blatant lack of thinking before I speak, even though I had been thinking my mouth operated without confirmation of what it wanted to say.

He laughs, "Does it bother you that I am fully clothed, do you miss seeing my body that much."

"Just answer the question, I was just wondering, you all are practically nudists half the time."

"It is different, sort of confining to have on socks and underwear and of course the shoes make my feet feel like I strapped ten pound weights to them."

"You don't usually wear underwear," I gape at him as my eyes deter where they shouldn't be looking.

"You know it gets in the way of the whole werewolf thing, I mean carrying pants is hard enough when you have no hands."

"Oh, I guess I never thought about it like that, so you have to…to…you know before you change into a wolf."

"I can't shred my clothing every time I phase, so yes I have to strip just before, thus the convenience of only wearing pants."

Silence again but this time it is Embry that breaks it.

"I like your skirt, you should wear one more often." He smiles at me taking his eyes off the road, which irks me but I don't say anything.

"I am not a skirt person, this is the only one I own." I mumble not liking the topic of the conversation. "So are we almost there?"

"Yeah, hope you are hungry, this place has the best food." He says pulling to a small parking lot.

The restaurant we pull into looks like a family owned place, they always have the best food in my opinion. The atmosphere inside isn't classy but it feels right, not cheesy like some diners are but a place that makes you feel like you are actually at home. It isn't loud, there are very few customers I notice as the waitress seats us in a small booth in the corner of the building.

"This place is nice." I say after the waitress leaves us to get our drinks.

"What do you like to eat, they have everything?"

"Um," I say scanning the menu, " I think that the chicken pesto pasta sounds good."

"hmmmmm, Never had that one, I think I'll get that and a burger" He says without looking at his menu.

I laugh at how much food he has to order, pondering how hungry he will still be after eating that, or maybe he ate something before we left.

"So are you looking forward to tomorrow?" I ask wondering what he really thinks.

"I'm a little nervous actually." He says looking down at the table.

"Me too, but I'm excited."

"What do you like the most about living here?"

"Well, I like all the trees, although I haven't had much luck exploring the forests, but I love nature and being outside regardless of where I am, I always dragged my friends hiking in Ohio."

"Really the only stories I heard were about you being a party girl in Ohio, none about you liking to hike."

"Well, I dragged my friends hiking, they dragged me to parties, but out of the two scenarios my friends dragging me to parties happened more often."

"Will I ever get to see party girl Larke?"

I laugh. "I didn't act any different than you see me everyday, it isn't like I dressed like a slut and danced with all the guys. I just socialized and drank what ever was at the party."

"We'll have to party with the pack sometime…that is always an interesting time. Do you think you are comfortable enough with all of us now to get drunk with everyone?" He smirks at me, probably trying to imagine me being drunk. Not my favorite social affair, but I guess if that is what everyone wants to do than I could suck it up and participate.

"Well, almost but the verdict is still out on someone in particular, but the not guilty side of the jury is pretty persuasive."

Just as he was about to say something the waitress arrives with our food. The portions are huge, there is no way I can eat it all, good thing I brought my garbage disposal with—no doggie bag needed here. Of course, I am right with that Embry not only devours both his meals but also finishes half of mine. The bill is paid and we are back in his car in no time, driving to a unknown destination, unknown to me that is.

The drive is silent with just a hum of the radio in the background. I wonder where we are going, better not be some cheesy place gosh I don't think I could handle Embry being cheesy at the moment. I sigh and stare out into the dark that is flying by, scenery just blurs of black with a twinge of green here and there.

"Don't fret we will be there shortly." He says as if that is something reassuring to say. I mean where is there and what exactly does he think we are going to be doing once there is where we are.

The car pulls to a stop along side of the road. I look at him in utter shock as he proceeds to open his door and get out. It is pitch-black out there and he wants to take a stroll in the woods, I mean I like the outdoors and all but come on. He has to literally open my door before I venture out into the night air.

"What are we doing?" I ask as he leads me onto a small path that I am suddenly very grateful for.

"Don't worry it is only about a two minute walk, were not going for a 4 mile hike again." He says and I can tell he is smiling by the sound of his voice but I can't see more than inches in front of me.

True to his word, he leads me down the trail for about two minutes and then we come to a halt. I look around noticing the trees had actually thinned out and we were standing in a large sandy basin just beneath a large cliff. The stars speckle the sky between the clearing clouds, and I hear myself gasp not only at the beauty of the dimly lit clearing but also because the sky was clearing so I could see the stars for a change.

"I was hoping the sky would open up and let you see the stars tonight." Embry remarks as he wraps his arms around me from behind.

"It's great I haven't been able to see them since I arrived, I was beginning to believe the stars all fell from the sky."

We stood there for a impossibly long time, staring up at the stars, the back of my head resting on his chest, his warmth encapsulating me, and all too soon he was leading me back into the forest. The clear sky didn't last long enough, rain came pouring down just as we reached to car, how did Embry know? I wonder if he has a six sense like dogs do, knowing when it is gonna storm, when people are sick, when their people are in trouble or coming home, you know stuff like that.

Instead of driving back to the Clearwater's house I found that Embry drove to his house, I look at him curious about what he is thinking, taking me to his house after our date. I struggle against chastising him for it, but think better cause I don't want to ruin the night. I'll let him do that, cause so help me if he thinks he is getting some, he better drop his gear shift back into neutral cause I ain't ready for overdrive.

I follow him into the house and am left speechless upon walking into his front room.

**Okay sorry for all of you who hate chiffhangers, but i will hopefully update again tonight or early tomarrow unless i truly have a bad case of writers block but i have what is going to happen next in my head already i just have to figure out how to write it so it doesn't sound stupid haha Thanks to those who reviewed and the much anticipated second date will arrive shortly just not in the next chapter i can't wait for that chapter either ENJOY**


	40. Chapter 40

**Okay here is the next chapter it is a little on the PG13 or more side but still dont think it is too crazy haha well hope you ENJOY **

It is spotless, he actually cleaned his house for me. It not only looks clean but it smells clean and fresh like he spent hours removing the dirt and grime. I walk into the center of the room and spin in a circle flaying my arms out laughing at the absurdity; I thought he had dirty stuff on his mind when actually he wanted to show me how clean his house is.

"Awww you cleaned." I exclaim mid spin before I get dizzy and tumble to the now soft-carpeted floor.

"Are you okay?" Embry says helping me up.

"Uh, yeah just got dizzy there." I laugh.

"I could see that, so what do you think. I wanted to be sure to show you straight away case I messed it up again."

I laugh again; he is like a little kid who cleaned their room.

"It looks great, smells great." I say embracing him in a big hug.

"I cleaned more than just my front room; let me show you the rest." He says leading me down the hall showing me every room, stopping lastly at his room.

"You even made your bed." I say plopping down on the sapphire comforter.

He joins me on the bed, looking at me intently. My earlier thought of his dirty intentions raced back into the forefront of my mind as I look back into his eyes. He couldn't be expecting me to have sex with him on the first date, could he? Is that the only reason he wanted to take me out? He is out of his mind if he thinks that, oh wait he sorta is?

Apprehension fills me and I scoot away from him but only end up further into the middle of the bed, making my intentions look the exact opposite of what I want. Will he listen to me when I tell him to stop I wonder as I feel his breath on my cheek. Seconds later it is no longer his breath I feet but his lips and his tongue expertly extracting a gentle moan from my lips.

He gently for once pushes me onto the bed, this is different I think where is the wolf tonight. He smirks at me making me wonder if I thought that too soon. I can't contemplate my dilemma too long because his mouth is once again taking my breath away as he hungrily attacks my mouth with his. I hear his breathing quicken, realizing that mine has also become ragged, reprieve for my mouth as his kisses trail down towards my neck.

My neck is sensitive to his touch, knowing full well that what he is doing is going to leave a mark.

"Embry we can't." I breathe out.

"Why not?" He says as he continues to suck and bit my neck. "I'm just kissing you, don't worry."

"But I barely know you?" I say as I gasp at his continued advances.

"What do you need to know that would allow me passage to unchartered territory, at least for me that is? He says sounding a little smug, a little annoyed, but still making it hard for me to breathe as he kisses my collarbone.

"Favorite color?" I gasp.

"Blue" His mouth leaves my collarbone descending toward my stomach as his fingers inch my shirt hem north.

"Music?" I giggle as his tongue licks me from my belly button to my bra.

"What about it?" He mumbles clearly his mind else where, but I can't stop now he started this ridiculous game so I'm gonna finish it.

"What band…oh…like best?" His hot hand now on my bare knee as I curse Leah for making me wear a skirt for him.

"Led Zepplin." He gets a little braver and pulls my shirt over my head leaving me feeling rather exposed in front of him, but it isn't like he hasn't seen girls without shirts on and I have seen him nearly naked since I met him. I am concentrating solely on his mouth I forgot where his hand was and I gasp loudly out of shock when I feel him on my very upper thigh.

"Embry." I say but it comes out wrong, completely wrong I wanted it to sound mad but I think it just eggs him on more.

"What are you doing?" I ask desperately trying to distract him because my mind clearly doesn't want him to stop but I know if I was thinking clearly I would stop him.

"What you still don't know enough about me? He says arrogantly and smirks down at me.

"That toll way is closed tonight, if you don't mind." I say getting the courage to pull his hand off my tight and push my skirt back down.

"Closed due to flooding no doubt." He mumbles pulling away from me and falling down next to me on the bed.

"Embry," I say outraged at his remark and his line of thinking.

I roll over and look at him, he is still fully dressed but his shirt is obviously wet from perspiration.

"You look hot you should take some of your clothes off." I say knowing he will probably take that the wrong way but what the heck.

"Sure now you want me, now that my hand isn't up your skirt." He mumbles but starts pealing his clothes off nonetheless.

"I'm sorry Embry I just have never…" I trail off not knowing exactly what to call it. "I know you have and you want to do more than that, but like I said I hardly know you."

He groans, " Not that again you are serious aren't you?"

I look over at him lying flat on his back on the bed and decide to be bold again, shifting my weight quickly and climbing on top of him to continue our make out session. He is pleasantly surprised by my actions but he couldn't take me being on top of him very long and I find myself once again pinned beneath him.

"Did you know werewolves have an uncanny sense of smell?" He whispers in my ear before biting my earlobe.

"No." I say as I pull his mouth back to mine to kiss him on the mouth again. My hands take advantage of his bare chest and my now coherent brain and trail along his muscles, stopping just above his waistband of his pants. I notice, or rather feel for the first time the soft hair trailing down.

My thoughts go haywire, imagining him as a wolf above me, my mind is evil. I have a hot guy right here making out with me and I keep fantasizing, uh no wrong word but same affect about a wolf and animal. What is wrong with me? I tense as the thought becomes too real as I feel his tongue slide up my chin all the way past my eye.

"What's wrong?" I hear Embry ask, I suddenly feel ashamed at what my brain was pondering, the nightmares that were invading our fun.

I look up at him his eyes full of concern…concern that is a good sign maybe I should just be truthful with him, maybe he would understand why I can't make out with him when my brain wants to force these images at me.

"My mind is playing cruel jokes on me?" I say struggling to sit up beneath his large frame before he moves.

"Jokes huh, what kind?" He asks pulling me between his knees as he rests against his headboard.

"You know the dreams I have been having about you, my mind just thought it would be a opportune time to bring them up." I say blushing at the mere thought of it all.

"You mean you were picturing that while I was kissing you?" Embry says leaning his head forward and down to look at my expression.

"Ummm, not deliberately, I mean I want to be here with you when were…making out."

"Me too," He says brushing the hair off my neck, "Looks like I left another mark on you." He says with an amused glint in his voice as he strokes my neck.

"Don't worry I like all the marks you leave on me." I say bringing my hand up to feel the now dwindling scabs on my bare shoulders.

"Do you want me to take you home?" He asks suddenly.

"You want me to leave so soon?" I fight a frown from forming on my face.

"No, I mean, it's just that it's really late and we have a big day tomorrow and I'm sure you want to be at home before I drag you into the woods tomorrow, I mean you look great in your skirt which I like for other reasons as well but not ideal for romping with a wolf."

"Oh well when you put it that way…but I have a question will I get to see you phase?"

"You do know what that would entitle don't you?" He says rather smugly.

I blush at the thought of seeing him completely nude, I mean I haven't seen a man completely naked and on top of that in broad daylight.

"Um maybe not quite ready for that one yet? I stammer now regretting my question.

He chuckles at my sudden embarrassment and tosses my shirt back to me. "Come on lets get you home before you find out too much about me and I have to keep you here and make you my sex slave." He smirks leading me out of his room. I am still stunned by his comment, speechless, lost, my brain not able to come up with a witty comment to that one.


	41. Chapter 41

**Okay here is the next chapter hope you enjoy, i am almost to 100 reviews wow never ever thought i would have that many surpised me when people started to review we hope this is what you were expecting...Enjoy Thanks again for reviewing **

The sunshine is blinding first thing in the morning, but pleasantly I was surprised to have the sun beaming down as my wake up call. My first thought after 'huh its sunny' was 'shit what am I going to wear today'. Embry and I were going out on our wolfy date, what should I wear to hang out with a wolf. What am I fussing over it is still Embry I remind myself, better just go for casual, jeans and t-shirt. T-shirt defiantly don't want to remind him of all the marks he left on me today when he is gonna be a wolf around me for the first time since…

I look in the mirror examining my attire, who when did I become such a girl I think as I do a little turn examining how my butt looks in the jeans I picked out. I roll my eyes at my antics, but as I do something else entirely catches my attention. It is huge, what does he have that big of a damn mouth. The love mark he left on my neck could be seen from a mile away. I gape at my purple/red mark wondering if I should find a turtleneck, but what the hell everyone would know what I was hiding. I'll just stay up here in my room all day and hide, I sigh.

I climb back on to my bed my resolve to hide myself away not wavering, until my stomach growled right on queue as if saying are you serious.

"Stupid stomach." I mumble to myself as I groan and climb back out of bed. "Why of all inopportune times to you choose you want breakfast now?"

I glance at the clock and realize that my stomach is indeed hungry being that it is nearly noon. Shit Embry will be here in about an hour or so if he isn't here already. The taunting will start immediately if anyone is downstairs, I swear I can hear their remarks now.

Before my imagination takes a hold of the little courage I have, I take a determined step toward my door, forcing myself to roll the handle against my palm. The actual steps through the hall and into the kitchen are not as hard as the actual turning of the doorknob. Luck is not with me, the house I full of impatient hungry werewolves eyeing the front door as if expecting it to open at any minute.

"What are you all waiting for?" I ask casually as I start a pot of coffee.

"We ordered pizza for lunch." Jake explains smiling widely as I grab a coffee mug from the cabinet, "You know breakfast was hours ago."

"Shut up, I just woke up, excuse me for being tired." I say hoping up on the counter top next to my coffee maker.

"Late night?" Jake smirks at me, "Get in a fight with Embry's vacuum cleaner?"

I open my mouth to say something, honestly I didn't expect such remarks from Jake. He is usually a more respectable conversationalist. Nothing comes out of my mouth, any retort firmly hidden away, lost to the shock of Jake taunting me. I am saved by the bell, the front door bell chimes and there is a mad dash to find the money everyone apparently forgot to get out. Everyone's pockets are emptied and Leah heads to the food reserve money to fish out what the boys lack in pocket change. Since everyone ate here so often there was a money jar that contributions were made into to keep the food in the fridge and on the table.

The pizza boxes were brought in, the stack extending about Paul's head as he causally throws them onto the kitchen counter. I hesitantly sip my coffee as I watch the barely clothed men stroll in and heap the cheesy concoctions onto their plates. I boxes empty quite quickly, but I manage to snag a piece of pepperoni and tomato pizza before the leaning toward of pizza runs out.

After everyone is done eating, I notice Embry saunter into the kitchen again, the first time I saw him his mind was obviously else where, being he only glanced in my direction as he gathered his lunch for the large boxes.

"Did you get a slice?" He asks quietly and I cringe taking in his mood, wondering why he is suddenly shy and quiet Embry today. He fiddles with the salt and pepper shakers on the counter not making eye contact with me as I sit on the counter sipping my coffee.

"Yeah, I managed." I say smiling, but still wondering if something is wrong, I mean he was not like this last night, at least I didn't notice if he was. I admit I was a little distracted but come on could he couldn't have been shy he tried to seduce me and nearly succeeded.

"Is something wrong?" I ask hopping down from the counter splashing my coffee a bit.

"No." He says quickly looking up a fake smile plastered across his face. He thinks he can fool me with a smile that fake, what the hell is he on?

I look him in the eye before I make my exit into the living room where everyone is relaxing after filling their bellies. I hear him follow me, but still weary about his mood, not quite sure if I should push him to tell me what is wrong. I have no time to ponder his mood swings for the whole room, what was filled with voices suddenly is a rush a quiet silence.

"So Larke, have fun last night, going for round two today with the wolf huh?" Paul taunts raising his eyebrow suggestively.

"Uh…" I stammer not knowing what I could retort back with.

"Are you gonna let us all know if it is more fun with Embry as a human or a wolf?" Jake asks before I can fully grasp where the conversation is going.

"I…I" I stutter feeling awkward and out of place.

"Come on Larke, none of the other imprints ever had sexual fantasies about being with us as wolves you have to give us some details?" Jared quips, my brain registering that Kim is not in the room, thus accounting for his bold statement.

I blush at his accusation, I mean is that what I was having fantasies…no, no, no they are just weird nightmares that give way to just how messed up my brain really is. Nothing to worry about, nothing is wrong with me right.

"You guys are blowing this way out of proportion; it is not like that at all." I say suddenly finding my voice.

"Blowing really, you think that would be fun for you to try to day?" Paul remarks wistfully.

I groan at their immaturity, " I am not having this conversation with you guys now or ever."

"What not even with me?" Leah asks, reminding me that she is unfortunately going to ask me later.

"Come on…Let's get going Larke before they say anything else." Embry says coming up behind me, and wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"Aww, Embry, you used to have a come back for every joke we threw at you, can't you take a joke anymore. Don't get mad at us cause you lost you sense of humor." Paul chides, getting a scary snarl and a glare from Embry as he leads me out the back door.

"So is it going to be just us, well I mean your not going to have an audience in your head are you?" I finally get enough courage to ask about 10 minutes into the woods, down the same small trail he brought me down before.

"No, we'll be alone…Jake may be being an ass this morning, but he still is my friend and ordered everyone to say away and human."

"Why is it that Jake can order you and everyone else around, that's not the first time I have heard that?"

"Jake is second in command, so he can tell us what to do if he wants to…not that he like to at all, he doesn't like taking away our free will, Sam is the only one he can't boss around like that…" He says casually shrugging at his answer.

"Is that why I met Jake first?" I ask suddenly curious about why Jake had been one of the first of the pack I met.

"Uh…no, I mean Jake is just easy to get along with I guess, him and Leah have been closer since Sue, Leah's mother passed away…Jake was there for her and Seth after she died and I guess…Jake earned Seth and Leah's respect and the three of them have all been closer since, it is complicated to explain. Mostly because you never know what Jake and Leah are truly thinking, since they both keep secrets well, not ever letting their guard down completely when they are phased."

"Is anything not complicated with you werewolves?"

Embry laughs and shakes his head in disbelief that I asked.

"So are you planning on dragging me somewhere special or are you just trying to get me lost again so I can't escape again?" I smirk at him fighting back my urge to laugh.

"A little of both I guess, just thought I would take you to this clearing, but not as far as we hiked the last time. So is there anything you want to know before we get there and I phase?" He says the last question a little shyly reverting back into his earlier mood that I thought we had left behind.

"What has you so nervous?"

"I'm not nervous, this is just weird…the guys have me freaked out with all their banter and such, you heard very little; what was said before you woke up was crazy."

"Really, I mean what could have you so worried, it'll just be you and me…it's not like I'm scared of you or anything."

"I just don't know what you are expecting on my part…I don't get what your intentions are?" He shyly looks down at the ground pretending to watch where he is going, but I know he must know these woods like the back of his hand. I bet he could get to where we are going with his eyes closed.

"My intentions?" I giggle at his words, "What do they have your head filled with? I mean I don't want you to feel uncomfortable if there is something you don't want me to do just say it."

"Sorry I guess I'm just freaking out for no reason, I mean I've never spent time with someone as my wolf…just bare with me it is my first time. Sorry in advance if I do happen to scare you." He says stopping in the middle of the trail.

"Okay, just relax I mean how bad could it actually be, you already know I'm not gonna run from you."

"Do I?" He says almost in disbelief, " Come on the clearing is just through these bushes." He drags me through some large bushes into a clearing as big as the Clearwater's backyard.

"Wow, this place is huge!" I exclaim peering at the large grassy opening in the middle of the forest.

"Are you ready?" He asks looking at me with his intense gaze.

"Yeah." I say firmly not wanting to give him any reason to back out.

"Okay, I'll be right back." He says retreating into the trees.

I take the moment to survey my surroundings, everything is still green but the clearing has more yellows within in it, probably due to the sun reaching the depths more often. I hear a rustling behind me and turn to spot the large wolf slowly advancing towards me.

His snout is closed, his fur looks fluffy and soft. I scan him taking in his appearance, scouring over each inch of his wolfy frame. I finally settle on his eyes, so human and peaceful calming me more than I already am. His eyes are the key for me, they bring me his warmth from afar, his endearing gaze settles my heart only to elicit ragged breaths from my lungs, and nothing brings me further into his eyes than the sincerity and hopefulness cascading out to me.

My feet start to function long before my mind, I resister than he has sat down on his hind legs, looking more and more like a docile animal than a menacing wolf. I reach him, only inches separate me and Embry now, slowly but steadily I reach my hand forward to stroke his fur along his side.

"Your so soft," I say but then I wonder does he understand me when I talk to him, "Can you understand me, or do you only hear a bunch of babbling like I imagine dogs here from humans."

He looks at me and opens his mouth allowing his extremely large pink tongue to flop out of the side, almost as if he is smiling at my statement.

"Can I see your foot, er paw?" I ask hesitantly, my fascination with Embry's hands and paws overpowering my current line of thinking. Ever since I made the connection to what happened, I had always wanted to feel the paw beneath my own hand, to examine and feel the power that it possesses.

He whines at my statement but obliges by lifting one off the ground and towards me. I take it in my hands, one on top and one below. The fur on his paw is soft and short, I rub small circles into his fur as my eyes rake over ever inch of the gigantic appendage. I carefully press my fingers onto each pad on the underside of his foot or hand more like it, feeling the roughness scrape across my own dry skin. I grasp as my courage, fighting back my worry, I grab the one of his uh, toes or fingers and gently flex it pulling it downward slightly watching how his claw moves against the tension. I am in awe at the intricacy of his paw, my mind visualizing it on my shoulder that night, I have it in my hand something so strong and powerful is so gently here in my grasp.

Unwillingly I force myself to drop his paw, looking up into his eyes again.

"Will you lie down so I can pet you, you are a lot bigger than me right now." I laugh at my obvious statement, of course he is bigger than me he is the size of a horse.

He lies down next to where I am seated in the grass, placing he oversized head inches from my legs. I tenderly stroke his head with my hand, stopping briefly to massage his ears, I gasp in surprise when I hear a groan emanating from deep in his throat.

"I guess this feels good huh? You are very soft and still incredibly warm." I say trailing my fingers down to the bridge of his nose and leaning over to kiss his wet nose, which surprisingly is cold.

I continue rubbing and scratching him getting more and more confident and feeling like he is just another dog, completely forgetting that his wolf is actually Embry. Embry the guy that has a major major crush on me, who wants me, and who claims he loves me. After about 20 minutes of me petting and scratching and massaging his head, ears, and neck, I get the sudden urge to rub his belly. I wonder what he would think if I asked, I mean is that too personal, is that treating him like too much of a dog?

As I pondered my sudden urge, I stop my movements against him, as if he notices my change in actions he cocks his head to the side looking at me. I shake me head smiling, not wanting to tell him what I was thinking. What I have a desire to do to him?

Instead, I look at him and smirk trying to look like I have an evil plan. He just continues to look intently at me, I mean what else can he do? I move closer to him, now on my knees, so I have more free movement, if I am going to do this I have to do it fast. So help me if everyone makes fun of me later.

I move forward rubbing, massaging his closest ear slowly manipulating him so he is lying on his side. As far as I can tell he is lost in the sensation and has no idea that he is no longer lying on his stomach. I move closer, still keeping his ear slowly revolving beneath my palm, as I snake my other hand down between his front legs to rub his chest. His head perks up at the contact and my hand falls from his ear, but he must be okay with my new hand placement because he lulls his head back down onto the grass.

I wonder what this feels like to him, does it feel like what a dog would feel or does it feel like what it would feel like if he were sill human. I'll have to ask, I hope for more like a dog because what human would enjoy being petted like this.

As my hand trails lower, caressing his belly where the hair starts to thin, I am suddenly thinking about the other parts of Embry's anatomy that are not as innocent and lie south of his belly button. I continue to rub wolfy Embry's belly, but I notice I am being watched. I blush as I turn and see that Embry has his eyes intently fixed on me, his tongue now hanging out the side of his mouth. He is panting like he needs a drink of water as he watches me over his shoulder. I suddenly feel very self conscious and freeze under his gaze.

He whines a bit but rolls onto his belly and crawls towards me, still with the goofy wolf smile on his face. His cold nose gently pushes me backward so I fall onto my back. Embry is suddenly hovering over me, his four paws next to my body, his wolfy face close to mine. I see him hesitate as if thinking, but only for moment. His tongue is hot and slimy as he drags it across my face several times.

"Stop, Embry." I manage between giggles, but he doesn't stop, he just continues with his sloppy doggie kisses until I am giggling so hard I can hardly breathe.

Once he stops and lies back down next to me I sit up and say, "Now I'm all wet," I grimace up lift the bottom of my t-shirt up to wipe my face. I jump when I feel something wet and cold on my stomach. I lower my t-shirt back down pushing wolf Embry away form the bare skin on my exposed stomach.

"Don't do that." I shriek at him, "I am not doing anything like that with you right now." I am appalled that he would try that I mean I though I was perfectly clear that I didn't want to make my nightmares come true.

Suddenly he gets up and runs into the trees making me frown a bit, but I guess he went to go phase back into human. I wonder if I offended him, or if he was tired of playing dog with me.

He comes back into the clearing, looking a little shy and hesitant again. He sits down beside me and says, " Sorry, we weren't alone anymore, Seth and Quil are on Patrol and I didn't want to share everything with them yet, I mean before we had a chance to talk that is."

"Oh." I say now I am feeling a bit shy, remembering my actions and his responses, the groaning, panting, and other noises he made as I pet and stroked and massaged his wolfy body.

"So what did you think, did I live up to your expectations?" Embry asks probably sensing my shyness by how short I answered.

"Um, yeah I had fun, what did you think, I mean I didn't weird you out or anything?"

"No, I mean I was a little shocked that without me knowing it you started to do more than just rub my ears and head." He blushes slightly.

"Really did you like that, I mean do you feel things like you do when your human or do you feel more wolfy about things you feel?" My mouth speaks my thoughts once again before I can stop it.

He smiles, almost smirking at me as I ask my question. "Do you mean that if you were to do what you did to me as a wolf now would it feel the same?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Well, I don't think you would get the same reaction when I am human, I mean there are other things you could do to me to get the same reaction that I had as a wolf, but they are quite a bit different. Not that I wouldn't enjoy you rubbing my chest and stomach as a human but I think my response as a wolf was a little stronger if you know what I mean."

"Oh god." I mumble realizing what he was saying.

"Don't be embarrassed, I hope you are up to play with me as a wolf again." His mood shifting to the arrogant and cocky Embry in two point zero seconds. "You seems so much more confident, when I am a wolf, versus when you are with me as a human. Do you realize where your hands were today, inches from…" He trails off suggestively.

His hand caresses my blushing cheek, his thumb resting under my chin tilting my head up to meet his eyes, " You know just having your hands on me while I was a wolf was pure bliss. It felt wonderful to be able to share that part of me with you, to know that you are that comfortable around me, both sides of me, it just makes me want you that much more." He leans in closer to me slowly catching my lips with his, ending the kiss much too soon for my liking.

"Come on," He says standing up, "It is past dinner time and will be past dark by the time we get home."


	42. Chapter 42

Larke's POV

Okay I surely hope my dreams stay gone now, I guess I will find out later tonight when I attempt to sleep and I do mean attempt who could sleep knowing what I know and having done what I have done. My hands were all over him, the wolf him that is, I mean is it bad that like he said I was more comfortable with him as a wolf than him as human. Something must be wrong with me, no doubt about it I am some kind of sick pervert for thinking about these things, dreaming about those things with a wolf. I am surely going to hell.

I stumble on a overturned log, not watching where my feet were going, as if I could actually see. It is beyond dark in the forest, Embry is leading me back through the maze of trees, my brain is not currently following because it is still back in the clearing, thinking, wondering, and analyzing every detail of the thing that is Embry and me. What are we exactly? Maybe he knows?

Okay so I went on the date he wanted, oh how wonderful that was…gah what am I saying I know it has to be true, but I can still deny it. I got the date I wanted with his wolfy self, but something feels like it is missing, but what could it be? Missing, what is missing? Could it just be that I somehow feel like I don't know the boy? I know very intimate details about him, it seems that I just don't know who he is right now? Does he even know who he is right now? Does imprinting change who the werewolf is? No nothing can truly change ones nature, but actions can always be altered by circumstances.

My theory about life is that everyone has these impulses that are their nature and that doesn't change but the will to resist or not is what changes. So if Embry use to be like a male whore he must still have a strong desire to have sex at the very least, but don't all men. I don't know I guess some men don't I mean, not every man is a walking sex campaign eliciting new members everyday. Does that mean that Embry is somehow fighting his urges to have sex somehow or is he secretly sneaking in some casual sex behind my back. Would that even bother me? Yes.

"Larke, we are just about back home?" Embry says waking me out of my fluttering thoughts.

"Okay," I say absently as Embry leads me towards the house. I vaguely register that we enter the house and join the few people who are in the living room.

Oh yeah, I remember, they still don't know what happened with us today, I wonder how long I have to keep this just between me and Embry. Probably only a day at the most, he will have to patrol tomorrow sometime since he hadn't today. I look casually around the room taking note of who was around for the first time since we sat down on the floor beneath the couch.

"So you two have fun you are awfully quiet." Leah asks.

"Yeah, sorry it's just been a long day?"

"That's it no juicy details to report?" Jake asks mockingly.

"Jake!" I say exasperated, "You can't just expect details after teasing me earlier, it just doesn't work like that, either you are a nice guy or a pig…you can't be both."

"What do you mean I can't be both? You let Embry get away with it, his mood changes faster than the hands on a clock." Jake retorts.

"That's different. He started out as a pig, but you had the whole nice guy thing goin on from moment one."

"And?"

"And that's just it, you can't start out good and turn bad it isn't acceptable but when someone starts out bad and turns good it is just that much better."

"Is it now?" Embry says amused with my reasoning.

Jake just rolls his eyes at me slightly shaking his head negatively with a half smile on his face.

"Oh, that reminds me Larke, about something you agreed to, this weekend we are gonna have another get together, but not here we'll have it over at Paul's house." Leah says confusing me about what exactly I agreed to, I haven't talked to Leah all that much.

"You know what I am talking about don't you, Embry?" Leah asks raising her eyebrows and widening her eyes.

"Oh, getting her drunk…" Embry laughs seemingly missing the point earlier.

"Yeah, I haven't seen her drunk in a long time, you are going to lover her that way Em, just one pointer she won't remember most of it, so make sure your nice." Leah chuckles at his remark as my eyes widen as I recall the stories Leah has told me about my drunken escapades that I never believe actually happen.

"Stop making things up L. I don't act any different when I drink, so don't spread rumors about things that have never happened." I say scathing.

She giggles at my rant, "You have no idea what you are talking about Larke, I just hope that Embry can keep himself in line, knowing before hand that your memory will be fuzzy."

Embry looks at me smiling, amusement seeping from him, and I recall him wanting to see the party girl in me…what if Leah is telling partial truth, because I can't be as bad as her stories dictate that I am.

"Don't worry Larke, we will all be drinking and making fools out of ourselves." Embry whispers reassuringly.

I close my eyes trying to divert my current thoughts away from the impending 'party' that I was going to attend and at Paul's house at that. Okay so I felt comfortable around the pack but some place I have never been, always scared me a bit. Leah didn't help throwing her made up stories about me into the air. How could she? I mean how many times has she actually seen me drink enough to be drunk, maybe 4 times tops.

This weekend, right so much for having time to fume over it all I mean, it is Thursday after all…the party from what I hear from the continued talking around me is on Friday night. Eek that is tomorrow…dread washes over me for agreeing to such a silly thing the other night.

"So Larke, you're not going to back out are you?" Jake asks his voice silencing the other conversations around us.

"Of course she isn't." Leah pipes in, "Larke, loves parties once she is there, but tends to be a little anxiety ridden just before she arrives. No worries though."

"You know we don't have to go, if you don't want to." Embry says quietly to me.

"No, no, I know you want to have fun with me Embry, it will be fun." I say confidenly.

"We could have fun other ways that don't involve drinking." Embry says smugly, the awful smirk appearing on his face.

Gawh I playfully push is shoulder, "You know what I think about that."

"Right, right you need to know every detail about my entire life and personality, but just so you know I may not be that interesting in the long run."

Laughter floods the living room, as I am sure everyone recalls what happened between me and Embry the other night. I roll my eyes at the fact that they will most certainly know when I do give in to him, if I remind myself it is an if I give in not a when. I am beginning to think I am the one with multiple personalities not him.

"Nothing like playing twenty questions when your trying to get some huh Em." Jake quips out in between laughs.

"Shut up." Embry says hoarsely.

The night ended abruptly for me that is, one minute I am listening to everyone laugh and tease Embry and in turn me, and the next everything is gone. I slightly recall feeling two large hot arms carry me and gently place me in my bed, how else would I have gotten here. I roll over in my bed, not wanting today to start knowing that I would be forced to attend this so called party at Paul's house tonight. What could be crazier that indulging in drinking alcohol with a bunch of werewolves, and I personally have the horniest one wanting desperately to get into my pants. Hot, horny, crazy, and drunk might not be the best combination, but who am I to contest I mean it isn't like I get a say in what I do with my life, not that I entirely mind when it comes to Embry.

I roll myself out of bed hoping to just lounge around all afternoon until this evening when we were to head over to the party. The afternoon passes way to quickly for my taste I mean I just finished watching some corny black and white movie and it is already 5 o'clock. Where did the day go? Everyone had been in and out all day, no one stopping by very long, reasons being they were getting everything together for the big shindig.

I wonder do werewolves drink as much alcohol as they eat food. I mean are they all big partiers and have just not been telling me so since I have been here, or is it really just something they do occasionally. I wonder, haven't really been big on scoping out everyone's fridges besides our. Sometimes I would see beer in the fridge but it never was in there very long, I just figured it was a beverage of choice for someone.

I wonder if Embry use to drink, I mean where did he go to pick up girls—a bar. Most likely right, but there are several types of drinkers, alcoholics, casual, social, or those that rarely drink, which category does Embry fall into I wonder. Nothing along these lines has ever come up during our discussions.

"Hey Larke, do you need help picking out what you are gonna wear tonight?" Leah says walking into the living room eyeing my sweat pants and tank top combo.

"Yeah because the last outfit you picked out really worked to my best advantage." I say under my breath throwing a glare at her heaving myself off the couch.

"It's not my fault you are such a prude and your boyfriend is overly eager. I mean I thought for sure you would have lost your virginity by now, I mean if he was after me I couldn't refuse him." Leah says following me up the stairs to my bedroom.

"uhah," I gasp at her remark. "You say overly eager, does that mean he isn't getting it else where?"

Leah laughs at me, "Are you serious? That boy would die of guilt if he even kissed another girl besides you. Open your naïve little eyes Embry want you and you alone, he hasn't been quite the same since he met you. Here wear this tonight." Leah says tossing me a skimpy cami and a pair of jeans.

"Won't I be cold?" I ask looking at the silky looking shirt that will leave most of my shoulders exposed.

"No, with everyone in such a confined space it will be like a hot summer day in Paul's house."

"Fine," I say taking the clothes and pulling them on in place of my loungewear, "Do you guys usually drink a lot?"

"Some of the guys do but I wouldn't call anyone an alcoholic…you know how it is just like it was when we were in college, nobody just sits at home drinking until they pass out if that is what your wondering."

"Oh kay," I say at a loss of what to say and what to exactly expect tonight, to say the least I am nervous as hell.

"Don't worry you will be fine, there will only be a few girls you don't know there, no one you have to be concerned about, I mean Paul is bringing a girl, as well as Collin and Brady."

"Really they have girlfriends?"

"No, they don't have girlfriends; they are just bringing girls to the party." I roll my eyes at her statement getting the obvious meaning behind what she is saying. "Don't pay attention to them tonight they will be acting like dogs."

My eyes widen at her statement, what could she possibly mean 'acting like dogs' I mean I never seen any of the pack with a girl that wasn't their imprint. "Why don't all the guys have girls?" I ask hesitantly, but mainly very curious to know why.

"Because they all don't treat girls like that, I mean who ever they bring they won't probably see again, and the girls will most likely be from out of town. It is just something you get use to, you'll see tonight just don't think about it too much. Meet me downstairs when you're finished getting ready."

Wow is all I can think about that conversation.

I glance in the mirror checking my appearance; my shoulders now have light pink marks where the white scars will form soon. I smile at the look against the contrasting olive green cami. I run my fingers slowly over my marks, remembering how Embry's paw felt in my hand, so powerful, so gentle. I have my hair up so that it is off my shoulders, with only a few stands framing my face. The mark Embry left on my neck is still showing, I decide to put a bit of make up on the mark, suddenly wanting to hide it, even though everyone knows already.

Once I finish getting ready I head downstairs to see Leah dressed rather slutty, meaning in a short sun dress revealing much too leg. I wonder who's attention she is trying to get, or who she has already.

"Great you're ready, lets get going…we want to get there before everyone else so you can get the whole experience." She laughs.

I shrug following her out to the car, making sure to grab my jacket on the way out, she may not be cold, but it is only 60 degrees out tonight not quite tank top weather.

**I know you all want to know what happens at the party now but i thought you would appreciate an update tonight, Glad that you all that reviewed enjoyed the last chapters about their first and second dates...Hope you all like this chapter leading up to the party...reviews are always appreciated and loved THANKS to all of you who do reached over 100 yeehaw**


	43. Chapter 43 the party

**Okay the party chapter, tried to convey what i picture happening but describing what my mind thinks is harder than it appears. Thanks again for the reviews hope you enjoy extra long chapter **

Larke's POV

Well we don't arrive before everyone else in fact we are almost the last to arrive with only Kim and Jared not having arrived yet. Rock music is blaring in the front room while the snacks and drinks seem to be set up in the kitchen. Leah leads me towards the kitchen, I notice the nearly empty front room, as we make our way into the crowded kitchen. In the kitchen, I see Paul's back as he leans forward against the counter obviously making out with a girl. Collin is standing with his arms around a small blonde while Jake and Quil are leaning over the fridge grabbing a beer. Embry is talking to Brady who also has a girl standing beside him.

Embry catches my eye and smiles walking over to me, as Leah walks over to Paul and smacks him on the back of the head before getting herself a beer.

"Hey, you finally got here, you look great." He says leaning over to speak into my ear, his hands roaming down my bare shoulders, "Come on I'll get you a beer." He says leading me over to the fridge.

Embry leads me out of the crowded kitchen and into a more secluded area in the entry way.

"I missed you." He whispers as he backs me against a wall trapping me.

"I, uh missed you too." I say eyeing him curiously, as he tries not to smirk at me, but I see his mouth twitching against the soft smile he already formed.

"So how many beers does it take?" He says slyly.

"That depends on what you are implying," I say taking a large sip of my cold beverage.

"I just want to see you let loose,"

"I may let loose, but I don't want you to get any ideas mister." I say poking him in the chest.

"I would never…well at least I wouldn't take your virginity from you while you were drunk that is." Embry says finally smirking smugly at me.

"Nice of you to be so honest, just keep that in mind." I say ducking out of his arms and into the front room.

The front room has seems to be the place to be in now, in the few minutes alone with Embry the mood of the party sure changed. The guys that have girls were dancing with them while Jake, Quil, Seth seemed to be talking a little ways from where everyone was dancing. Leah is dancing rather provocatively by herself in the direct eye line of the three dateless boys. Quil has an imprint somewhere, though I've never met her and Seth is her brother so obviously she is dancing for Jake unless she would want one of the dogs behind her.

My feet stop me from completely entering the front room; I am frozen in the doorway watching everyone. Embry wraps his arms around me, "I gotcha another beer." He says running the two ice cold beers along my waistline causing me to jerk backwards into him. He chuckles at my action. He slowly wraps my hand around the cold can, grabs my other wrist leading me towards Quil and Seth.

We talk quietly with Seth and Quil, Jake not saying much as he tries to discretely watch Leah, obviously distracted. About 20 minutes and 3 more beers later I am starting to feel the affects of the alcohol. The conversation has now veered toward something I have no interest in so I turn to watch the couples dancing to the music.

My eyes widen, shock takes over my brain, staring is no longer rude as I take in the sight before me. Paul has his girl pressed firmly against his torso, her back and his chest having no gap between, his mouth hard against her neck as he moves to the music. He has one hand on her hip grinding her against him, the other hand down her now unbuttoned pants. Unreal is the only word I can use to describe his actions, I have never seen a guy grope a girl out in the open, well I guess it is his house but still.

"See something you like." I heard Embry whisper deeply in my ear. I fight to tear my eyes away from the obviously vulgar seen only to see Quil and Seth both looking at me slightly amused. I blush, I can feel it. I down the rest of my beer in one sip as a distraction.

"I think I need another beer." I say trying to take a step towards the kitchen, only to realize that Embry's arms are securely around me not allowing me to move. He chuckles as I fall back into him, he steadies me, "I'll come with you." He says releasing me but keeping his arm around my waist leading me to the kitchen.

I retrieved two beers from the fridge handing one to Embry who finally released me and is now leaning against the counter.

"You couldn't stop watching." He says eyeing me inquisitively as he opens his beer.

"I was shocked."

"Shocked huh, I think it was more than just shocked."

"No. Just shock." I say trying to make him drop this topic honestly I don't know why I was staring at Paul.

"Really, you were just a bit curious about how it would feel to be her." He says wrapping his arms around me, his breath hot against my cheek, reeking of alcohol.

"Ewww, Paul is a dog."

"I didn't mean with Paul," He says as his empty hand trails down from my waist along my hip to my outer thigh.

"Embry…" I whine as I take a sip of my beer, "Don't were not alone."

"No one cares," He says kissing the side of my neck leaving my neck rather wet.

"I care." I manage to squeak out.

He looks frustrated, maybe a little disappointed, but disentangles himself from me and walks back into the front room leaving me alone in the kitchen. Gosh, what is wrong with him I can't just let him grope me in his perverted friends kitchen with all his buddies in the other room. I don't care if he use to have other girls who wouldn't care about looking like sluts like the three in the other room. I down my almost full beer, angry at Embry, angry at myself, now as I try to walk by myself I suddenly feel shaky and disoriented but rather giddy.

The kitchen is far too big to walk across by myself, the counter is my only refuge because Embry had to run off and leave me. I really hate him sometimes I mumble to myself as I stagger out of the kitchen towards to front room. My legs fail me, I close my eyes, and I grab the first thing that I can reach. It is hard and hot against my hands, as I struggle trying to bring myself back to a more suitable standing position instead of being crouched over. I quickly open my eyes realizing that I caught myself, only to find my hands firmly grasped onto Embry's hips and my face pressing firmly against the front of his jeans. I gasp at my current predicament, throwing my hands off his hips and flinging myself backward into the wall with a loud thud.

"Ooooww." I moan as I bring my hand to the back of my head rubbing it lightly. I look up feeling thoroughly embarrassed once again only to find 5 sets of curious and amused eyes watching me.

"Are you okay?" Leah laughs almost falling over hanging on Jake's shoulder for support.

"You are laughing at me." I pout crossing my arms dramatically across my chest, "You are just gonna let her laugh at me Embry." Now I hear myself whining, oh my shut my mouth now.

"L-let me help you up." Embry stutters extending his hand forward a little hesitantly.

"I can get up myself, I think you've don't enough." I say not quite sure where my anger came from, but I suddenly didn't want any help.

I put my hands on the ground bracing myself pulling my feet under me, I flex my leg muscles only to find that as soon as I elevate myself I stumble forward trying to gain control of my own body. I watch Embry fly by my eyes as I stagger past him; I reach my limit of control and grab a hold of Seth, who just happened to be in front of me. My right hand snakes around his bicep and my left around his torso, I feel his arms catch me as my feet give out under me.

"Hey Seth," I hear my voice slur slightly, "You're so kind, always there when I need you. You know that, buddy." I feel my feet hit the floor again, and the room swirl before me as I am turned around and steadied. I lift my eyes up taking in where and how I arrived where I now stand and my eyes come to rest within the intense gaze of Embry. I smile, looking at him standing before me.

"There you are Embry, I thought I lost you for a moment, one minute you were there and the next you flew right by me." I fling myself at him jumping up to wrap my arms around his neck. Thankfully, he catches me, "You were too far way…" I mumble into his chest where my head is now resting.

I hear him laugh and feel the vibrations against my body.

"Are you okay Larke?" Embry asks me.

"Yeah, can we go sit down for a bit, I think I'm a little tipsy?" I mutter into his shirt.

"Sure thing, baby." He says as he carries me over to the sofa in the front room.

Jake's POV

I am standing off to the side with Quil and Seth but my attention is hardly focused on the conversation that is centered somewhere between what cars and what engines are the best. I could careless at the moment, my eyes fail to leave her, why oh why does she have to look so good. Ever since she got back from college two years ago I haven't been able to keep my eyes off of her. Why oh why, I can't, she isn't my imprint she isn't the love of my life how can I want her so bad.

What is she trying to do to me? She of all people know where this could lead, it could lead to heartbreak, on my part, on her part. My life sucks, love and me just don't do well together, but what if I don't have to love her as a mate? I love her she is my friend, I could just get some benefits from it.

Her hips are moving, her short dress is swaying dangerously high letting me catch a glimpse of her, my imagination has plenty of material to work with. Seeing her in the woods, hiding my thoughts from her, from everyone has been a challenge. Why now? Why is she tempting me, dancing like that in my sight?

"Hey Jakey." Leah says dancing up to me, my eyes almost pop out of their sockets as her hand comes into contact with my upper arm. She drags it downward stopping at my elbow and taking another step forward, now only inches away from me.

Just then I hear a commotion behind us, as I turn I see the last thing I ever expected to be witness to. Larke has her arms around Embry's hips her face pressed into his groin, God if she wants him that bad I don't think she would have to attack him. He is more than willing. Just as I think Embry is about to have a heart attack she flies back into the wall, and now Embry's heart attack is for a different reason entirely.

Leah is hysterically laughing now, clutching my arm and all my thoughts go out the window as I watch the scene before me. Words are said although I miss them, concentrating on Leah's grasp on me. Eventually Larke ends up in Embry's arms as he carries her into the front room. Leah wasn't kidding about Larke being a little crazy.

Just when I think that Leah is going to let me be I find her dragging me into the front room by one hand.

"What are we doing?" I say looking at her like she is insane.

"We are dancing silly, don't tell me you don't want to dance with me Jakey," She presses herself up to me so that her mouth is millimeters from my ear and whispers seductively, "I know you want me."

Larke's POV

"Are you feeling a bit better now?" Embry asks me after about 20 minutes of relaxing on the couch.

"mmmmhmmmm, much." I say trailing my index finger along his jaw.

"Do you want to dance, or just continue to sit here?"

"I don't know, are you going to dance with me like Paul dances with his girls," I say turning in his lap so that I am facing him with my knees on either side of his hips, "Is that how you use to dance with girls Embry." I say kissing his lips lightly catching his bottom lip between my teeth briefly.

He chuckles nervously at my question deterring his eyes from mine.

"I take your silence as a yes," I say running my hands down his chest feeling the heat on the palms of my hands. He looks down still not meeting my eyes, a frown appearing on his face, I must have hit a nerve.

"What's wrong Embry?" I say now concerned that I upset him.

"It's just that I don't like to think about what I use to do before I met you, I am ashamed that I acted that way now that I have you…I can't even begin to think about anyone else."

"Sorry, guess I'm just curious about how you use to be, mystery man…"

"Come on let's dance." He says as a slow ballad starts to play.

Dancing with Embry is unlike dancing with anyone else, he is so much larger than me his body seems to encase me as his arms wrap around me. My head is on his chest as he guides me to the beat of the song. I lift my head slightly to look around the room and intently notice that we are alone, where did everyone go? I look up at Embry questioning my new observation.

"It is very late Larke, party is over, well at least the public part of the party, everyone has gone off for some privacy."

"When are we going to go find some privacy?" I ask taking one of my hand from his shoulder and running it downward resting on his hip curling my finger through his belt loop.

"Don't worry my house is only three houses away, once you find your coat we can leave if you want."

"Okay, my coat is by the door." I say and Embry leads me towards the door flicking off the stereo as we pass.

He helps me with my coat and we head out the door to go back to Embry's house.

**Sorry for leaving is here but i thought you would want to know what happens at the party...;) hope you like**


	44. Chapter 44

**Okay here is what happens after the party hope you all enjoy **

Larke's POV

"Can't we get there any faster?" I question as Embry and I amble across the front lawns on the way to his house.

"We haven't even been outside for 30 seconds and you are wondering if we can get there faster." I groan at his obviously patronizing tone.

Obviously, I spoke too soon seeing as Embry is already leading me up to the front door of his house, and out of the chilly night air.

"Are you thirsty? Hungry? Tired?" Embry rattles off as I stand a little dazed in the middle of his living room.

"Whoa there wolf boy, you can't ask me that many questions when you don't have my full attention focused on your voice." What was I focusing on, I mean I was looking directly at him, oh yeah I was watching his mouth, his lips move that is why I caught on that he was speaking to me.

"Sorry…do. You. Want. Some. Water.?" He speaks slowly dragging out each word a bit.

"Yyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssss." I say mocking his tone and word emphasis.

He opens his fridge, which surprisingly is now stocked with snacks and drinks, nothing that would spoil mind you but still. He tosses me a bottle of water, which flies over my head, as I try and grab it falling backward on my ass. I roll over crawling to where my water bottle landed, wanting more than ever to savor the cool liquid on my dry throat.

"You know if you wanted me on my back you should have just asked? I smirk at him as I lie on my back propped up by only my elbows fighting with the cap on the water bottle. I always have the hardest time with caps on bottles regardless if it is plastic or metal I have to resort to using my teeth. After about 10 more seconds of struggling with the cap, I groan and sit up lunging the bottle into my mouth and clamping down on it with my teeth. I hear laughing coming from Embry, I look up, "What" I say with the bottle still in my mouth twisting the bottle slightly so loosen the cap.

My imagination held nothing to the feeling of the ice cold water pouring down my throat as I down half of the water bottle in one gulp.

"Priceless." Embry says drawing my attention away from my water and back to him.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion at his statement, "What is priceless?"

"Nothing, C'mon lets relax." He helps me up, wraps his boiling arm around me leading me towards his bedroom.

"Relax huh, are you sure that's all you have in mind?" I mutter leaning into his side.

"Yes, I want you to know what I do to you when I do it, I want you to not be able to close your eyes without seeing me, without wanting me…"

He lies me down on his bed next to him pulling my body close to his forcing away all the chills of the night as his flaming hot arms wrap around me.

"Confident aren't you, tell me Embry Call what makes you so arrogant, have you ever been turned down, have you ever not had someone to fuck, What is it that makes you not follow your desires, your instinct…"

"My only desire right now is to let you sleep this off, my only instinct right now is to take care of you, all the others have been banished for tonight, squashed by a far bigger desire for us to both be sober so you won't regret it."

"Regret there are many things I regret, you know what I regret the most in my life…" I mumble feeling sleep beckoning me away.

"No, What?" I hear his voice question.

"I regret that night, I shouldn't have left the crowds no matter how scared I was of them…it never occurred to me that they would force me…" I yawn feeling my eyes drooping not having the strength to continue.

"It's okay sleep…"

Jake's POV

"Leah where are we going?" I question the girl that I dragging me out the back down of Paul's house.

"Does it really matter Jake, I mean you know what we are going to do?" Wow shock, those words coming from her mouth, only in my weirdest dreams have she said something along those lines to me. But I can't I mean I have never…I inwardly groan at my inexperience.

Leah leads me straight out into the forest, sparking my interest about where we are going, there are no houses in this direction. We abruptly come to a halt about 40 paces into the trees and she pushes me roughly against a large tree. Now I am beyond turned on, how can she be doing this to me, why is she doing this to me? So many questions fly out of my head as her lips meet mine.

Leah's lips are rough and silky smooth at he same time pressing into mine, seeking out the interior of my mouth like she is attacking me. Her hands hold me hard against the tree thrusting my shoulders between her hands and the bark. Urgently she pulls away gasping for a breath, but not releasing me, as if I would ever struggle beneath her, God she is gorgeous.

"Leah…" I gasp tentatively looking at her wondering if she knows my secret. As far as I can tell know one know that I haven't it's not like I planned to stay celibate but every time I started with a girl I couldn't, knowing they would never understand. Would Leah understand, I would if she imprinted, but would she be able to let someone go a second time and still go on.

"Jake." She says in a teasing tone as if guessing my apprehension, a smirk forms across her face as she looks up at me. Gosh how can I feel so intimidated by her actions, she just knows me too well, she knows more of my secrets than anyone else.

She drops her hands from my shoulders leaving me free to move, I lean my head down taking her neck in my mouth, placing careful kisses along the tender part of her neck. Her hands roam up under my shirt tracing the outlines of my muscles. My shirt is the first thing to go, although it isn't like my body is something she hasn't seen before. I wonder if she has ever thought about me before tonight like I have her.

"Loosen up Jakey, you act like you haven't done this before." I tense at her words, all of a sudden feeling like I should run from her, still not quite sure if she caught the affect her words had on me, I continue pulling at the hem of her short dress revealing her slender muscular form.

She speaks again this time she leans up pressing her almost naked body against me to speak directly in my ear, "It's okay Jacob, I won't hold anything against you this time, this all being new to you and all."

That was the last thing she said before she pushed me back against the tree and things only heated up from then on out. I went into the forest that night nervous as hell only to leave feeling much more confident as Leah led me back to her house and to her bedroom.

**Well hope you all liked it what did you think of Leah/Jake wasn't really planning on writting what i did but after the imprompt to Jake pov at the party i thought i needed to let the readers know what went on with them...Reviews are great love you all who take the time to write them hope you ENJOY**


	45. Chapter 45

**Okay heres the next chapter yeeeee, couldn't stop myself from writting guess i couldn't wait to find out what happens next. Not too much action but hope you like. Thanks for the reviews love it when i see the same people reviewing and love it when i notice a new reviewer Reviews are great Hope you enjoy**

Larke's POV

My head, the sunlight, ouch what else could go wrong, seconds only seconds since I regained conscious thought. Where am I? I squint my eyes trying to focus, my night comes flooding back before my vision is enhanced. The party, Embry, his house, but the details are extremely fuzzy. Oh Gosh, I am in his bed with him, I swing around smacking my head against the bottom of his jaw, my arm flopping off his side and I bite back my scream as the pain shoots through my arm and my head at the same instant. Damn, werewolf, why does his body have to feel like a brick wall sometimes. My movement or my muffled scream must have woken Embry for he stirs, and his breathing is no longer steady.

"Are you awake?" He mumbles not opening his eyes I notice only because I am rubbing my head where his jaw so politely dented my skull.

"Yes, I need something for my headache?" I whine wincing at the pain in my forehead and now the back of my head and don't forget my arm.

"Bathroom, medicine cabinet, third shelf…" He mumbles still half asleep. I groan at his directions and pull my dead body off the bed fumbling with my feet as I make my way to his bathroom. Just as he instructed I find the Advil on the third shelf, before I leave I splash my face with water, wanting nothing more than my aches to go away.

I crawl back in bed falling on top of Embry, not caring just wanting the pain to subside.

I open my eyes after what felt like seconds only to find that I am feeling slightly better, most of the pain gone, the sleepiness gone, but a new pain in my stomach a growling for food has arrived. Embry I notice hasn't moved, out like a light. I shake him, nothing.

"Embry you have to get up." I say with a hoarse voice. Once again no response.

I crawl on top of the sleeping wolf boy, hmmm that sounds familiar have I call him that before maybe last night, my body fully on top of his I whisper in his ear, "Embry Call please wake up." Still nothing. Humph. What will wake this guy up?

The evil voice in my head that makes me do bold or rash things speaks up, I try not to listen…not wanting to embarrass myself, but I can't I am too hungry so he must wake up at all cost, dignity be damned.

I lean in close as I slowly begin to kiss his neck, hoping for a response, biting, sucking and toying with the skin below my mouth. My hands begin to wonder down his bare chest tailing lower and lower as I move my mouth down his neck. I don't sense any movement, any change damn he is still asleep. My hand ventures lower trailing down his outer thigh my mouth now seeking out his, and just as my hand begins to venture upwards towards the inner part of his thigh his mouth responds and his eyes shoot open in what I can only describe as shock. I break the kiss, pull my hands away and sit up on top of him as he eyes me curiously.

"Finally…" I sigh in frustration, "Will you get up now? I'm sure you're hungry too." I say balancing myself my placing my hands on his chest.

"If you don't get off me soon, we aren't going to eat for awhile my self-control can only last so long." He says as his hands run up my legs, griping my hips, and lifting me off of him and on to the bed.

He quickly gets up heading to the bathroom as I sit there waiting for him to return, missing the skin on skin contact I just had.

"Hey Larke," Embry yells from the bathroom, "What time is it?"

"Ummm, it's 11 o'clock or so why?" I call back wondering why the time is so important.

"Do you want to head over to Emily's I am sure she has some food cooked since I doubt anyone else is up yet?"

"Why would Emily be cooking for everyone?"

"She knows we were all drinking last night, kind of reminiscent for her, she kind of likes us to drop by, you know we all use to eat at her place before Sue died, you know since Sam is the Alpha and all. Now it is just more convenient at the Clearwater's since we all fit better."

"Okay, Are you almost done in there? Can I have a shirt of something to borrow, I am getting sick of his top Leah made me wear."

"Sure, Sure." He says coming back into the bedroom looking cleaner and refreshed. "Here wear this one, it is from when I was in high school shouldn't be too big on you, I was kind of scrawny back then."

"Thanks," I say taking the shirt that Embry would never fit in today from him, just a simple black t-shirt with a pocket, fit okay not complaining, but still big on me, must not have been to scrawny.

"C'mon." He says leading me out of the bedroom.

Sam and Emily's house the last time I was here was just after Embry attacked me, that dreadful day that seemed to last forever. I feet feel heavy as I follow Embry down the slightly familiar path linking his house to the Alpha's. When we step through the screen door it is as we were being expected, the smells of freshly cooked food wafting through the breeze, bacon, sausage, pancakes and fresh fruit fill my nose making my mouth water at the thought of eating.

"Good morning, Em, Larke." Emily cheerfully calls bounding out of the kitchen to greet us.

I smile at her happy giddy morning mood, as I look around the kitchen eyeing the coffee brewing in the corner.

"Morning Emily, where is Sam and Amaranth, not joining us for breakfast?" Embry asks politely, shocking me just a bit to see him speak so.

"Sam just put her down for a nap, he should be out shortly." Emily says just as I see Sam coming through the living room towards the kitchen.

"Morning Sam." Embry says greeting him with a manly one armed hug.

"Glad to see you two are up and about so early, didn't expect to see anyone for awhile yet at least noon or one."

"Well, you can thank Larke, I guess she is an early riser, regardless of how drunk she was the night before."

I scoff at his remark, "I was not drunk."

"Sure, How much do you remember? I seem to have a pretty good memory of last night, but how bout you?"

"I don't remember everything, but I will." I say confidently taking a seat at the kitchen table

Embry laughs and joins me, as does Sam. As soon as Emily joins us, she tells us to dig in since everyone else will surely be an hour or two more. Breakfast is what I needed to feel alive, there is nothing better for a hangover than eating breakfast, in my opinion that is some people throw up at the sight of food, I on the other hand can hold my alcohol.

"So Larke what did you think of the crazy animals last night anything you didn't expect?" Emily asks as she hands me a cup of coffee and sits back down sipping hers.

"Uh, yeah they are a bit wild once they start drinking." I say not wanting to go into details.

"Don't worry Larke, I've known those boys for years, nothing they ever do surprises me anymore except when they imprint, now that is something that surprises everyone."

I blush knowing that she is implying that Embry surprised her when he imprinted on me, him being the most recent to imprint.

"So what are your guy's plans for today?" Sam asks eyeing Embry.

"Uh, no plans really, I mean I'm sure Larke is still kinda tired and all. Why do you ask?"

"No reason, you two have had a busy week, with the date and the uh, wolf thing, and the party, just thought you two would have something else planned."

Oh gosh, did he just mention my date with Embry's wolf as the 'wolf thing' does that mean it is weird so something. I feel like I am going to die, embarrassment being the key to my death. Sam, his older mentor, his boss, just asked Embry about our relationship or what ever it is we have.

"Nawh, I think we just need to relax today, no need to do anything crazy while Larke sill has a hangover."

"So its still going well, nothing last night changed anything." Sam asks again so hesitation in his voice as he tries to pry information out of Embry. I just immerse myself in sipping my coffee pretending not to listen.

"No, I don't think so, everything seemed great this morning when she woke me up, practically had to throw her off me." He chuckles at his statement which to me is way to much information, again I blush, embarrassed once again. He can stop now any time, it is none of Sam's business anyway. Why is he asking anyway, do they always discuss things like this?

"That's good kid, I was just concerned, keeping everything under control then, right…haven't had any serious control issues?"

"Nothing serious, no I can manage most of the time, as long as I let it out and let him have his way some times, I can hold back my desires and urges…most of the time. I haven't lost control since that last time, but I already told you about that, been trying to keep myself in check."

Oh now I see where this conversation is going it is about him and his problem, his issue.

"So it wasn't harder when you were drinking, I know you were concerned that you wouldn't be able to control yourself last night?"

"Yes, to some degree it was harder earlier in the night, knowing that she would not be quite in control of herself, but I think I handled myself well. Pushing the thoughts away, her words echoing in my head helped me control the lust, the need for power and control…knowing how easily it would be while she was drunk was the biggest temptation."

As Embry talked so freely about what he experienced last night I began to wonder what I said that made it easier for him. Hearing it aloud makes it a bit scary knowing that he is confiding in Sam, knowing that he seeks guidance makes his condition or issue that much scarier. If it requires guidance that makes it really real, if it is something he is coming to his Alpha about it must be important. Knowing that Embry is talking about it makes me feel better; knowing that he is openly discussing it in front of me makes me feel even better. He is so open with me. Why can't I be open with him?

"It is very good that you resisted, but I wouldn't push your luck Embry…the more you resist the bigger the next outburst could be, I hope you and Larke are both ready for something like that to happen. The more we discuss this Embry the more likely it is to stay with you until you can stop phasing. Something I myself have not yet mastered."

"I understand, it is something I will have to learn to live with, something that is a bigger part of me than I would ever like to imagine. I can't stop or change what my wolf spirit has done to me, it will always be a battle within me for control. Nothing is ever as it seems, this should be something Paul has to deal with not me. At least that would make sense with his temper…I don't have a temper." Embry sighs placing his head in his large hands.

I lean over placing my hand on his back trying to soothe the large beast of a man beside me. He looks hesitantly over at me and smiles weakly placing his arm around me pulling me into a crushing hug, almost making me spill my coffee.

"Thanks for being here for me." He whispers in my ear.

**Just thought i would mention i am working on a new story, but dont worrry still wrtiting this one too, it will be called 'bloodlines' so if you are intersted in something a little different watch out for it -- it will be about the La Push werewolves who else i love the wolfy tails wagging good times**


	46. Chapter 46

**Another Chapter more drama why can't they escape it because that just wouldn't be Embry Call hahaha well Thanks for all your REVIEWS again New Story of mine is up 2 chapters done called Bloodlines check it out if you haven't already if not oh well keep reading this one instead **

We left before anyone else arrived, and headed back to the house, I need to shower and change, still feeling grimy from sleeping in my clothes last night. Embry absently follows me up to my room, lazily plopping on my bed. I rummage through my closet and draws looking for something to wear, deciding on a jeans and tank top combo, suddenly feeling Embry's eyes watching me as I make my way to my underthings drawer. I quickly grab the first bra and underwear I find discreetly engulfing them within my jeans.

"Awww, I didn't get to see," Embry says grabbing the tumble of clothes from my grasp and separating them swiftly on top of his chest searching for the under garments.

"Embry don't!" I shout at him horrified trying to remember what I actually grabbed, hoping beyond everything that they are decent and suitable for a male's eyes to take in.

I let out a breath as his hands find my intimate attire, holding it inches from his face he takes in the brightly colored blue and green plaid boyshorts and inspects them before I snatch them from his grasp along with the bra he has yet to scrutinize.

"Are you gonna give me a peep show later so I don't have to use my imagination anymore?" He asks with a hopeful smile.

"You already seen more than you were suppose to." I say feeling a little odd, knowing that he will know what I have on underneath my jeans, knowing that his little mind will be undressing me with his eye knowing what lies beneath. I franticly grab the rest of my clothes and stalk off to the bathroom, wanting nothing more than to rid myself of the thoughts which my head won't stop thinking.

As I am rinsing my hair I hear a soft knock on the door, "Yeah." I shout out from under the hot water making sure to listen for a response.

"Uh, Can I come in I have to use the bathroom?" Embry calls from behind the door, I groan not sure about what to say, couldn't he just go outside, he is a damn animal half the time, wonder if he lifts his leg...Stop, don't think things like that.

"Uh sure," I say looking swiftly to make sure the opaque shower curtain is secure without any peep holes to view me from. I mean come on we are both adults, surely he can come in and use the toilet while I am safely hidden behind the shower curtain. My mind is reeling as I realize that he will be so close me while I am naked, and while he won't be naked he will be doing other things…no, no, no I stop my line of thought no thinking about anything below his belt.

He startles me as I hear the door close behind him, I jump a bit praying he didn't notice. Every sound he makes is agonizing as I listen to the sound of him undoing his zipper, I freeze upon hearing that resisting the urge to place my hands over my ears. My shower is on hold for the moment, as I count the seconds until he leaves.

"I'll be in your room." I hear him as trailing his hand gently across the shower curtain before he opens the door to leave.

I let out the breath I was hold, just now realizing that I wasn't breathing. I finish rinsing my hair and quickly step out of the shower. I dry off and go to grab my under garments, my eyes widen as I take in what is on top of my pile of clothes. Embry switched them, no longer to I have my plaid boyshorts and sports bra but I have a white and red polka dotted matching set. He went through my drawer that dog, I smirk shaking my head slightly at his actions.

I reluctantly get dressed knowing I will have to face the bastard at some point, now I feel a little slutty knowing my guy picked out my under attire for me. My guy did I really just think that, well he calls me his so why can't he be mine…I don't know it just doesn't sound right. Once I am dressed, my hair brushed, and my teeth cleaned, I step out of the bathroom only to eye Jake stepping out of Leah's bedroom door.

"Hey, Jake." I say casually seeing him around the house is normal, but in Leah's bedroom, not so much. His wide eyes and horror-stricken face, clue me in that everything is all but, normal. I cock my head to the side smirking at him, as I remember Leah's blatantly obvious attempts to lure him in last night.

"Morning." He replies.

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but morning ended a few hours ago, so just waking up?" I question not expecting an answer as I head past him into my room to find Embry.

He is lying on my bed on his back starring at the ceiling.

"So you think I wouldn't mind you rummaging through my drawers, switching out what I intended to wear." I say sternly crossing my arms and leaning against my wall watching the smirk form across his face.

"I just thought you might want to match, you seemed too embarrassed to have given your choices much thought." He explains carefully watching me for a response.

"Don't do it again, I don't want your hands anywhere near my bras or panties unless I give you permission to do so…do you understand, don't tempt me to hit you with a newspaper across your snout." I say starting off firmly but can't help but speaking the ridiculous mental images that form in my mind, ending with some what of a giggle.

"You aren't serious are you?" He asks jumping up off the bed and purposely trapping me against my wall.

"Very." I say looking him in the eye.

"So I shouldn't do this." He says hastily placing his index finger below the waistband of my jeans and under the rim of my panties trailing the hooked finger from one of my hips to the other.

"No," I say startled by his actions.

"But you are so soft, your skin how can my fingers not want to seek out the tender flesh you so ardently hide from my eyes and grasp." He leans over whispering this in my ear, his finger trailing back to my other hip curling a bit tugging at the cotton of my underwear.

"Embry," I say my hands grabbing firmly against his solitary one, meeting resistance only managing to push his hand lower, the opposite of my wishes. "Could you just back up, I'll scream if you don't…you don't want Leah or Jake barging in here do you." I say as my last resort, his fingers now dangerously close to where no man's hands have ever been, panicking me beyond belief.

"Ouwww that would be fun to hear, you screaming…but not this way I suspect it would be better to wait." He says voice full of haughtiness, backing up removing his hands and holding them up in mild comic surrender.

I sigh in relief that he listened to me sinking down the wall to the floor in surrender to my fatigue. Embry sinks down beside the bed resting his elbows on his knees, watching me intently, his eyes boring holes in my face.

"I'm sorry…" He whispers the harshness in his voice gone, the smirk on his lips vanishing, leaving a slight frown as he draws his lips together into a firm line.

"Don't be." I hear myself saying wondering why exactly I don't care what he does to me, the roller coaster ride, fighting him at every turn…what is wrong with me?

"Why are you so understanding? I truly do not deserve you, if you give me something good I am bound to fuck it up." Embry says lowering his eyes from mine.

"Don't torment yourself, I may not understand what you are going through, but I know you are going through it, and like I told you before I am giving you the benefit of the doubt regardless of your actions. I am confident that you love me and I am beginning to actually trust you despite your obvious attempts at seducing me against my will, I know beyond a doubt that you are stronger than me and yet you have stopped, and that means a lot to me…more than I think you will ever know." He looks up at me with his head still bowed the vulnerability evident upon his features as he takes in what I just confessed to him. I have left him without words it seems. He doesn't have some witty arrogant remark, no mushy response, or any such words, silence his eyes saying more than a thousands words could ever convey.


	47. Chapter 47

**Okay here you go a humorous chapter hope you enjoy...let me know what you think about the end **

Embry has patrol tonight, until 11 so I am stuck hanging out with Jake, Leah, and Quil. We are in the living room not planning on doing much, but ordering pizza and watching the mindless drivel that calls itself entertainment on the TV.

Jake has been acting pretty weird since I saw him sneaking out of Leah's room two days ago. I mean I bet everyone know something happened between those two I can't be the only one. I haven't heard any jokes or bantering coming from anyone, I wonder why? I know that they both can keep their minds and mouths shut weather they are in wolf form or not, but still they were all over each other at Paul's house that night, even I remember that.

I break the silence in the room by asking Quil something that has been plaguing my mind since I found out, "So Quil, why don't you have Claire with you all the time?"

If I thought the room was silent before, I was dead wrong everyone stopped breathing for at least 10 seconds before all three of them look at me wide eyed.

"Uh, her mother doesn't allow me to see her as often as I wish."

"Her mother what is she still in high school or something?" I ask confused, why would someone's mother interfere, Quil is a great catch.

"Not exactly she is in elementary school still, and her mother doesn't want to confuse her so I only see her a few times a week." Quil explains frowning a bit.

"What!? How can you have a girlfriend who is a child, I mean you are what in your mid-twenties right?"

"It isn't like that, I am waiting for her, I don't want any kind of romantic relationship with a child, I want her to be at least in high school before that happens."

"Oh, so your not some sick pervert then, cause that look just doesn't go for you Quil you are too nice of a guy." I say suddenly feeling bad and awkward at the same time.

"Thanks, I am glad you can't see me being some kind of monster." He says mocking me a bit lightening the mood.

"You know Larke, it took you long enough to ask." Jake comments.

"Yeah well I didn't think it was polite, I mean what if they were fighting or something."

"Oh they fight constantly, Quil always looses though." Leah laughs.

"I'm bored, what can we do besides sit here listening to the TV drone on and on about nothing." I whine slouching further into my seat on the couch. "What do you guys normally do for fun around here?"

"Nothing really, we could watch a movie." Leah suggests, I frown.

"We could play a game." Jake suggests.

"I don't know the last game I played with you guys was hard." Remembering the game, we played the night I met Kim and Jared.

"Oh come on this game will be easier, we will play the old classic truth or dare." Quil says getting nervous looks from Jake and Leah.

"I take it from your expressions that you two don't like that game." I giggle never seeing Leah react this way before, must be the company.

"You do realize that what ever happens or is said will be shared with the entire pack, due to Quil being here." Leah says looking intently at me, no doubt evil thoughts forming behind her own panicked eyes.

"I'm game." I say confidently challenging her I mean it is only a childhood game what could happen.

"Fine, then I get to go first." Leah says, "Larke truth or dare?"

"Truth." I say cautiously.

She smiles evilly, "What is the craziest dream you had about Embry and be specific?"

My eyes widen, a lump in my throat forms as I try and swallow, I dart my eyes around the room taking in the amused eager expression. Panic sets in as I force my mouth open venturing out into the unknown, speaking something I have never told a sole, "I dreamed that I asked him specifically to go down on me while he was a wolf, not that I would ever ask him that in real life I mean that is just gross." I feel the heat on my face, not wanting to even see the expressions on my friends' faces.

"Wow, you really are obsessed with his wolf form, dreaming something like that," Leah says giving me some time to regain my composure.

"You guys have to understand that I don't want anything like that to happen right, I am not some weirdo that wants to have sex with animals anymore than Quil is a pervert." I say still feeling like they are judging me.

"Don't sweat it Larke, we understand completely." Jake reassures me. "Your turn."

"Jake, truth or dare?" I say smirking at him, knowing I am going to get Leah back with this one.

"Dare." He says confidently, foiling my plans but just as quick I come up with a counter plan.

"I dare you kiss L. on the lips." I say quickly watching him and Leah closely.

He looks at me hesitantly, like he is expecting me to change my mind. Quil looks a little shocked at my dare for him, like I stepped over the bounds, but I could careless it is a dare not a suggestion. He moves the few feet over to Leah where he leans over capturing her lips with his placing a tentative but thorough kiss upon her lip, their mouths parting just slightly, and he backed away smirking.

"Quil truth or dare?" Jake says the smile not leaving his face.

"Truth."

"Uhhh, you pussy," Jake exclaims, I guess it is no fun when you know everyone secrets already. "Why did you want to play this game?"

"I wanted to see if three would give up any secrets, see how far you would take it." He laughs.

"Leah, Truth or Dare?"

"Truth." Leah says confidently.

Quil smiles, "Who was the last guy you had sex with?" Quil's eyebrows rise as he smirks across the room.

Leah looks slowly at Jake before she says, "Jacob." She smiles at him but glares at Quil.

Jake looks embarrassed for some reason, but it quickly fades as he hides his feeling behind another facial expression.

"Larke truth or dare?"

"Truth." I say again surely not up for any dare Leah could come up with.

"When you finally let Embry have his why with you what kind of mood do you want him in?"

"Layyyyuuuuhhh." I groan at her for asking such a personal question, I don't want anyone to know that, do I even know the answer. He will know the answer if I say anything. "I can't…then he will know and I just can't." I say exasperated by the very thought of him knowing something that intimate about me.

"You wanted to play, Larks, C'mon it is no big deal, just answer the question we won't hold it against you." Leah beckons, smirking at me evilly.

"It isn't you guys that I am worried about; I don't want Embry to know." I say closing my eyes panic rising inside me all from a little game, a little question.

"Awww, Come on Leah, don't make her answer that question can't you see she doesn't want to answer." Quil interjects; listen to him I pray inside my head.

"She can take a dare instead." Leah says as I open my eyes watching her evil smirk get bigger by the second.

Answer an evil question or submit to an equally evil dare. Which do I not want to do more, I groan, "Can I make my choice after I know what the dare is?" I ask hoping for the answer to be yes.

"Hmmmmmm, Let me think about that for a minute." Leah says taping her index finger on the side of her chin.

"Okay yes I'll tell you the dare first, but I guarantee you won't like it…" She says looking me in the eye, "I dare you that when Embry gets here in an hour to greet him at the door and whisper dirty things in his ear about you wanting his hands down your pants. Then you have to go upstairs and let him do it, and we will know what you said and did and you can't tell him that it was a dare until afterwards that is if you want to, otherwise he will find out eventually."

I gasp at her lude dare, how can she expect me to do that for a dare, damn these werewolves and their all-knowing bullshit. I will have to think about this, do I bare all and tell them the answer to the question or so I let Embry get in my pants, thus taking our physical relationship that much further.

"I don't know." I say frustrated to the nth degree.

"You have 45 minutes to decide which it is gonna be." Leah proclaims.

Jake and Quil do not look amused by her attitude towards this, but don't seem to concerned.

"You really want me to answer the question don't you Leah, or you wouldn't have given me a dare you know I would never take." I say curling up into a ball on the couch turning my face from her as I contemplate my fate.

**Which should she do, I haven't decided yet i know i dont like cliffies either but as much as i am updateing lately it wont be one for long. Thank you all who Reviewed**


	48. Chapter 48

**Okay ending the cliffies couldnt leave anyone hanging had to finish what was going to happen, ENJOY hope it is what you expected don't forget to laugh**

Before I knew it my time was up, that was the fastest 45 minutes I have ever spent, I dreaded the look on Embry's face when I did was I had to do. With one look at Leah she knew what I had decided to do, disappointment cascading from her eyes to the grimace forming on her mouth. I would not let her bully me into telling her my secrets, I would not let her scare me into admitting something I don't want anyone to know. Secretly I wouldn't let her push my physical relationship with Embry either, but she didn't need to know that. I would fool her into thinking I was going to let him, tell him out right and he would save me from my dare. Wouldn't he? He would play along until we got upstairs right, no one the wiser until tomorrow.

The next 14 minutes ended sooner than I thought they would for only seconds after making my decision, Embry arrives here early. I roll my eyes at his promptness, wishing for a change that he was indeed late, or kept out to ungodly hours by some villain in the night. No, I just can't have that kind of luck. I pull myself up off the couch pulling all the resolve I can muster out of me as I walk up to him.

I pass by Leah catching her eye she says clearly, "Remember we all have excellent hearing…" She smirks, my eyes bug out at her clear statement that she will be listening to my dirty talk to Embry as I say it, within the next few seconds. Shit, I don't know what to say, to do. She got me, I force the small smile to stay on my face instead of the grimace that I want to make as I wrap my arms around Embry's large body. I take in his woodsy smell, the lingering wolfish scent still lingering on his pores making him smell beyond irresistible. I stand on my tippy toes, craning my neck so that I can talk directly into his ear.

"I missed you, you know what I was thinking about when you were playing wolf in the forest, I was thinking about your human hands…specifically your fingers." I whisper pausing briefly to look at his facial expression, cause clearly I have absolutely no experience with talking dirty to a guy I am curious if I am doing it right. The look on his face confirms that I have his mind in the right place so I force myself to continue.

"Your fingers, so gentle yet so powerful, I was wondering what they could do to me, I want you to 'boldly go where no man has gone before'" I say quoting Star Trek I inwardly roll my eyes at my cheesiness and my inner geek does a happy dance for using that silly line. I close my eyes as I feel my face flush red, rocking back onto my feet, mustering up the strength to look at him to see if he bought it. He looks slightly amused, but curious at the same time.

I secure my fingers around his wrist urging him to follow me up the stairs, away from the eyes and ears of his friends. He sheepishly follows me into my room, gently closing the door behind him.

"Star Trek, you almost fooled me before that line." He says quietly amusement playing across all his features. "Are you seriously trying to get me to do something, because you don't have to try so hard, I am a more than willing participant in anything you want to do."

I turn away slightly embarrassed that he finds my 'dirty talk' amusing at the least, but having a hard time not telling him the truth, that it was a dare, it still is a dare, I got him up here now what…do I go through with it or do it just chicken out. Leah will skin me alive is I give in and don't follow through. Embry will feel bad when he finds out I did it only cause I was dared, not that I wanted him to, I mean I do want him to but I am scared.

"Uh," I mutter breaking the silence.

"Larke, just tell me what is wrong, don't just lead me up to your room and then not even explain yourself, explain why you made an attempt to seduce me, it is just out of character for you."

"What would you do if you had to decide between doing something terribly scary or saying something that would make you want to run away and become a hermit?"

"I don't know what you are getting at Larke but you don't have to do either." He says now looking very concerned.

"But what if not doing either could possibly make the whole situation worse? Thus choosing now would guarantee you some control." I say meekly.

"Nothing is ever as bad as it seems, Larke." He says shaking his head slightly.

"I know." I say approaching him where he is still standing near the door. "What would you say if I told you that everything I said downstairs was true?"

"I'd say you never told me you were a scifi fan, but I think I can live with that." He smirks at me.

"I'm serious Embry." I say taking his large hands in my own.

"And so am I when I say no, come on let's leave what ever Leah is holding over you has to stop." He says dragging me out the door before I even noticed he opened it.

We are down the stairs and in the living room in 20 seconds, where Embry stands before Leah shoot daggers at her with his eyes, "Your game is over what ever it is. I told her no…I do not appreciate you trying to force my girlfriend into seducing me against her will, I don't care what you are holding over her head, I want it to stop. You are her friend, so I better not hear about this again, or I'll do more than just try and rip your arm off."

Embry yells at her, his voice deep and angry a bit frightening if you ask me. He leads me out of the house and down the road, wrapping his arm around me as we walk.

"You can tell me you know, I will find out what you guys were playing tomorrow anyway." Embry says softly.

"Truth or dare." I whisper keeping an eye on my feet.

"Which one enticed you to shower me with dirty images by speaking those words?"

"Well, I chose truth, knowing Leah would have an evil dare, but the truth was more menacing than I could ever comprehend so she gave me a choice between the truth or the dare I so clumsily failed at."

"Awww, you didn't fail I stopped you, don't feel bad, you seriously had me going." He says with sincerity, "What question didn't you want to answer?"

"Something I don't want to talk about involving you."

"Oh so your keeping secrets from me is that it, you don't have to worry about telling me anything no matter what it is?"

"Sure you say that now, but you will regret it later. Just please don't push when you know what the question is, I will tell you someday just not before the answer ceases to matter."

"Okay I will accept that for now." He says kissing me on the temple.

"I also don't believe I am your girlfriend." I say remembering his speech to Leah.

"No, wouldn't you like to be?"

"Yeah, but I would like to be informed first before you go spouting it off to everyone you know." I say sarcastically letting him know that I am toying with him.

"Did you get any secrets out of Jake or Leah during your ill advised, for future reference, game?"

"Yes, the whole reason I agreed to play was to try and get Jake to admit he slept with Leah, but Quil beat me to it getting Leah to admit she had sex with Jake."

"What!" He says clearly shocked, "Those two had sex together."

"Yeah, I had no idea that Leah even wanted him until the party, she never told me she had a crush on one of you guys, let alone Jake."

"Oh boy, the pack is going to freak when they hear this, no one wants those two to get in over their heads again." He mumbles more to himself than me, I choose to ignore his rant, knowing I would find out sooner or later.

He leads me once again up the walk to his door letting me into his still clean house. I am starting to feel more comfortable here in his house, I flop myself down on his couch, my thoughts still swimming with the events of tonight. Childhood games are the devil I conclude as I stare at the ceiling above my head.

"What is on your mind?" Embry asks flopping down on his stomach his head hovering just over mine, his face blocking my fine view of his ceiling tiles.

"Nothing much," I sigh not wanting to explain my inner turmoil to him just yet.

"Do you remember what Sam and I were talking about the other morning?" He asks all serious his voice almost reluctant as he speaks the words.

"Uh yeah, I remember every word." I say reassuring him.

"Good then that will make this easier to say, so you remember him saying that sometime my control will just slip?"

I nod my head slightly.

"Well, I just wanted to make sure that you aren't going to hate me if that happens, I mean I don't know when or how it will, but Sam is almost certain that something will set me off and I will not be able to reign myself in."

"I know, I heard him say it."

"Are you prepared for that to happen? Do you think you are prepared to be alone with an out of control monster?" His voice cracks slightly at the point where he calls himself a monster.

"Are you scared to let your inner wolf come out and play Embry?"

"Only for you, you have no idea what thoughts course through my head at any given moment that I am with you, or not with you for that matter. It is like I am filtering out what I deem appropriate to do and say; you know very well that my filter isn't that great," he laughs at his own joke.

"It is just that what you told me about me stopping meaning the world to you, I don't know how much longer I can stop myself. If I lose control and I get my deepest desires fulfilled you won't be as innocent as you are now…I just fear that regardless if you tell me no there will be nothing I can do to stop myself. I don't want you to hate me, you are just starting to trust me, but my trust in myself is faltering."

"Well, let me tell you this Embry, despite my reservations about having sex with you, I don't want you to doubt that I want to someday, so if you just so happen to try something when you clearly aren't in control, my someday will just have to be that day." I say giddily trying whole-heartedly to lighten his dark mood.

I yawn, feeling exhaustion creep into me once again.

"C'mon time for bed, you can sleep in one of my shirts if you want." Embry says as I follow him back to his room.

"But I always get so hot." I complain.

"I can sleep on the floor or the couch if you want." Embry offers.

"No, I like sleeping with you, it is just I get so hot I wake up feeling like I am going to die of heatstroke. I think I just have to sleep in less." I say watching Embry's face for his reaction.

I keep shocking the boy tonight guess I am on a roll, hate to stop now. He climbs into bed as I shut off the light and just before I make my move to get undressed, he stops me.

"You do know I can see in the dark." He states keying me into to something I suspected up never really asked about.

"Yes, your point." I say curtly.

"You make a big deal about shutting off the lights and stuff I didn't want you to think I couldn't clearly see you."

"Shutting off the lights was for my benefit, I can fool myself into believing that you can't see me even though I know you can, okay. I'm undressing now."

I pull off my shirt leaving me in just my bra, as I work on pulling down my jeans I hear a slight growl come from the bed as I peel them off my body. I remind myself it is just like having a bikini on, nothing more. At least I match again today, since I know he likes that. I climb into bed and Embry pulls me swiftly against him. The skin on skin contact is amazing as his inferno surrounds me.

He whispers, his voice deep and husky, " You are absolutely ravishing. You wouldn't still want to reenact a scene from Star Trek would you?"

He isn't going to let me live that down is he.

Without speaking to him, I simply place my hand steadily over his guiding it down towards the very place I am terrified for him to go. The heat is beyond intense as his fingers explore me. Feeling I have only imagined send chills up my spine and down to my toes as I gasp to his touch.

The last thought I have before I fall asleep that night is why was I so terrified and Leah is gonna have a good giggle out of this one.


	49. Chapter 49

**Little bit of Larke and a tad of Jake in this chapter hope you enjoy. Thank you so much for the reviews makes me happy knowing your reading and approving of my crazy mind's drivilings. **

Larke's POV

Waking up beside a half naked werewolf should be awkward, right especially after I acted so out of character last night. I guess I wanted him to because his conversation scared me a bit. You know I want to have some say in what happens between us, I want to be able to control something, and if he snaps before I am ready to have sex with him at least I was able to control this step, this activity. Awkward right, that hasn't come yet because he is still sound asleep, as I lie here in his arms, the warmth not overwhelming this morning, I blush remembering that I took my clothes off—just like a bikini I remind myself.

I relish in the warmth surrounding me, one of his large hands firmly on my belly, fingers splayed outward pressing me firmly against his midsection. Just his very touch I find draws me into myself, his fingers slightly curled as my body rises and falls with each breath. The constant rhythm of his breathing, creating a soothing melody in my head as I imagine that this is how I could spend the rest of my mornings, cradled against my very own wolfy man.

His throaty groan stirs me from my daydream, as I feel his body stretch and tense behind me.

"How long have you been awake, you could have said something." He says as I look hesitantly up at him my thoughts wondering to not so pure moments we shared last night.

I say nothing still not sure what to say to the man beside me. Is it even something to mention, do I pretend it never happened, or do I tell I liked it. At moments like these I just want to curl up and die, hide from his gaze, seclusion that is the key, nothing like curling up in a ball and hiding to make him and me feel better, huh. Stop, I reprimand myself for thinking such things, she would be able to find me, didn't he tell me once he had and uncanny sense of smell. Smell, I wonder what things he likes to smell, I mean I know dogs like stinky shoes and other dogs' butts; I hope he doesn't want to smell my feet. I don't know if I could live his him having a stinky foot fetish. I try and smother the giggle I feel coming to my lips at the thought of Embry and stinky shoes, I fail dreadfully.

"What's so funny?" He says rolling me over onto my back so he can see my expressions.

"I was just thinking about something, rather unimportant." I say but his gaze doesn't waver at my answer, he keeps looking trying to force me to crack as if he knows it is something more.

"Really, if it makes you giggle it surely must be worthy of my ears."

"Fine I was thinking about your nose." I say poking him on the tip of it.

"Come on you can tell me, you don't have to make things up." He says seriously, what he didn't believe me.

"I am serious I was thinking about your sense of smell, wondering if it was anything like a dogs." I say quietly trying to think of other things less offensive that dogs find to smell. My brain shocks me as images of other things dogs can smell pop into my head—Oh no he could most certainly smell that, I mean some dogs just can't leave it alone. Horrified at my thought, knowing I am blushing, Embry staring intently at me, and all I want to do is disappear again. I do the next best thing; I place my forearm over my eyes blocking his face from my view.

"What has you so bothered?" Playful voice rings through the air, I can only imagine that he has a cocky smirk on his face savoring my discomfort and embarrassment.

"I just realized that you can smell more than the average human, for obvious reasons that is a little disconcerting. There are just certain things that aren't meant to be smelled." I say timidly still hiding from him.

"Everything I have ever smelled that comes from you is intoxicating, don't worry you don't smell bad." He says trying to be reassuring but making matters that much worse inside my head.

"Intoxicating huh more like toxic." I scoff at him.

"What smells do you think I would find toxic?" He says now all serious again as if concerned that he offended me somehow.

"I am not answering that, I hope you lose your sense of smell." I say not wanting to continue this sinful conversation. A girl is not supposed to discuss her bodily smells with men, let alone a man who is convinced he likes them.

"Okay, okay glad this morning has gotten off to a great start wouldn't want you mad at me or anything."

"I'm not mad, just annoyed that you have a nose…why can you just stuff it full of Vaseline." I huff straining to sit up against the headboard.

"Why on earth would anyone put Vaseline up their nose?" Embry laughs looking a bit confused.

"They do it to stud horses so they can't smell certain things." I say in an almost inaudible voice not cursing myself internally for allowing my mouth to speak unrestrained again.

I watch as the puzzle pieces are put together in his head, watching everything fall into place as it hits him, it dawns on him what we are talking about, and I think I almost see him blush, but I doubt it. With that awkward, unwanted conversation dropped, I struggle to get out of bed, feeling the chill on my bare skin and head out of the room needed to be away from him. In my hast I forget that I am only in my undergarments, not wanting to go back I ignore it and head to the front room, praying he doesn't follow me too soon.

After about 20 minutes, I am drawn out of my mental tattering when something hits me abruptly in the face. "Hey!" I shout grabbing the offensive object, and find my perpetrator standing there with his arms crossed looking at me sheepishly.

"Put that on, you didn't get dressed yet." He says eyes noticeably trailing along my exposed body.

"Am I getting dressed for my benefit or yours?" I ask as I pull the t-shirt quickly over my head.

"Definitely yours." He chokes out as he starts making some coffee.

After that crazy conversation that morning, followed by the silent coffee drinking, Embry decided that he should walk me home, since it was nearly lunchtime and we were hungry. We walk into the house into a complete yelling match between several members of the pack, including Leah.

"It is my life don't tell me who I can and can not have in it!" She yells her voice booming from the kitchen.

"Leah your life weather you like it or not affects all of us, I will not stand by and watch you or Jake fall apart when one of you imprints." Sam's smooth voice echoes towards us as we make our appearance in the dining room where the rest of the pack that are present are frazzled silently watching.

"It isn't like that Sam, we both understand, we both know what could happen…we are just friends." Leah defends looking a little nervously at Jacob.

Jacob is not looking at Sam or Leah, his head is low and he looks a bit distraught.

"What happens when it becomes more than 'just friends' do you think you could handle being second again if Jake imprints someday?" Sam says pain stricken grossly over his features.

"Yes, If it means that I have my sanity now, Sam don't tell me how to live my life, I don't hassle you, we are both adults…just let us be."

"If this goes sour I don't want to hear it from either one of you, I will not let you two tear this pack apart again, I mean it." Sam shouts exiting through the back door swiftly and confidently.

Leah looks at me, exiting to room, and ascends the stairs. Jake looks a bit pale, but stays firmly planted to his chair at the dining room table. Everyone else continues eating their now cold plates of food in silence. I have the distinct feel that we missed most of it; it is unlike Jake not to say a word. And I thought my morning was bad, poor Jake. I frown as I walk by everyone making my way to the kitchen to find some food for me and Embry. Inside my head, I feel sick at the fact that I am happy that I am no longer the most current pack scandal, even if I don't fully understand why everyone is so mad.

The pack starts to scatter as their plates empty, Jake stays stoic unmoving from his perch. Embry watches him intently and I excuse myself from the room leaving Embry alone with his friend. I head upstairs intent on doing anything but being a third wheel in a conversation that is no business of mine. Lost to the confusion of the day I plant myself securely on my bed, trying to clear my mind. Visions of Jake and Leah together dance through my head before I can focus on anything else, why was Sam so mad? Why does Jake and Leah having sex have to be a group decision? Is it against the rules for two werewolves to have sex with each other? What do imprints have to do with it all? It isn't like they both don't understand the concept.

I crawl out of bed slowly, not wanting my legs to precariously be asleep and for me to fall on my face. I stagger in my sleepy haze to the bathroom shower, wanting nothing more than to wake my feeble body up. I notice it is still dark outside, must just be early as I yawn fighting the dreariness that wants to overtake me.

My shower luckily woke me up, but to my disappointment, the clock in my room reads 5 a.m. I haven't been up this early since my first week here, the whole time change thing threw me for a loop for a while. I sigh and head downstairs in search of something yummy to make for breakfast. I find something I didn't expect, Embry, Jake and Quil sound asleep in the living room. I wonder how long they have been asleep, as my eyes take in the sight before my eyes.

Embry is on his stomach taking up most of the floor, his head slightly on one of the beanbag chairs. Quil has the recliner, mouth open wide, one leg hanging over the armrest looking rather uncomfortable. Jake has the best stop, the couch, he is on his back, one arm hanging slightly off the couch, one knee bent upward as he snores slightly. Quietly I leave to room, heading to the kitchen to find some wonderful ingredients to bring life to the three monsters in the other room. They will be able to follow their noses like on the fruit loops commercials.

I whip up some French toast, when I noticed that we had way too much bread in the house. The smells of cinnamon and egg start to circulate among the other household smells making my own mouth water at the thought of devouring at least 3 piece high stack of the stuff. Just as I finish turning the third loaf of bread into French toast, the three seem to come to life in an instant. The three walk into the kitchen looking for the food only to be disappointed, I don't keep them wondering long as I pull the massive amounts of food from the oven and place pan on the counter.

"Thanks, that was great." Quil compliments and the other two just simply nod their agreement.

"What was with the slumber party?" I ask curiously.

"Oh, we all had to patrol last night and we crashed here around 2." Jake says his voice still a little dry, not his usual self yet I note.

I nod taking their plates and depositing them in the sink, not up to doing the dishes quite yet.

"Do you know if Leah is up yet?" Jake asks suddenly standing up.

"I don't know, go see."

He doesn't hesitate, to do just that. His feet hardly making any noise as he makes his way to her bedroom. I sure hope that they aren't mad at each other, they are both great friends I wouldn't want to have to choose. The silence in the room is deafening as I sit on the counter in the kitchen watching Quil and Embry fling paper wads at each other for entertainment. I roll my eyes at how easily it is to amuse them, taking note for the future.

I feel out of the loop, I don't understand what is going on and yet I am snugly in the center of it all. It isn't suppose to be like this, I thought everything was going to be wonderful, you know happily ever after kind of crap, but no of course I can't have that. No one would ever allow me to be happy, it must be against the rules. Life among wolfy people is complicated, so many things I don't get.

"C'mon, I don't think they are coming down anytime soon," Embry says trailing his hand down my arm securely grabbing my wrist intent on leading me somewhere.

"Where are we going?" I ask hoping off the counter.

"It is nice outside I thought we would go to the beach, haven't been there in a while." He says forcing a slight smile on his face.

"Okay," I say as we head to the front door.

Jake's POV

Do I knock? Do I just walk in, if she is awake she knows I am coming. I will knock, I mean I can't just barge in on her what is she doesn't want to see me? Life couldn't get more unreal, she let them all find out, not even considering what would happen. I bring my fist up to the wooden door, the spurs and spikes of anxiety pound within me, no turning back now as I make contact with the door, once, twice, and a third. No sound for about 20 seconds, "Come in." I hear her call out in a uneven voice, the pain still evident on her lips.

"Leah." I say easing the door slightly open peering inside more like a timid feline than an over grown canine.

She is on her bed, back facing me as I enter, nothing indicating that she wants me here, nothing screaming out to me that I should be the one to comfort her. Is that what she wants from me, someone to be there for her, someone to confide in, who knows, I surely don't. Maybe I am just some crazy guy that took more meaning away from the other night, but I have to know. I need to know where this leaves us, our friendship.

She stirs moving so slowly it seems as I am watching time relapse into a hazy fog, her eyes are not clear, but clouded with sadness as she takes in my presence.

"Hey Jakey boy." She says forcing a smile to spread across her tear streaked face.

"Are you okay?" I say taking a seat on her bed, wanting so much to wrap my arm around her, not knowing if I can, weather I should.

"Yeah, I was just thinking, you know about what Sam said I know he had to say some pretty awful things to you before he dragged your ass over here yesterday." She says leaning into my shoulder.

"Yeah, he did, but nothing that wasn't the truth…as much as you don't want to hear it he still cares for you Leah, that much is obvious. I care for you Leah just as the rest of the pack does, that's all it was about."

"Cut the crap Jake I want you here not the second it command of the Damn pack." Leah spits out angrily.

"Sorry, I don't regret what we did?" I say once again lost as to what I should say.

"Good, cause regardless of what they say, I can't stop wanting you Jake. I have tried, but I just can't anymore, you don't know how long I have wanted you."

"Okay,"

"You know as commanding as you are around your pack brothers, I would expect you to have a little more confident when it comes to girls, especially a girl you know as well as me. " Leah says wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Yeah, I'll work on that." I say rubbing the back of my neck nervous and slightly humiliated.


	50. Chapter 50

**This was a hard chapter to write never sure where exactly to take these two...how they get where they end up at is a mystery to me. thanks for the reviews love to hear what you have to say ENJOY...**

As we headed down to the beach that morning, I could feel the tension and conflict lulling off of the man beside me. Seeing him concerned about his friends is something new for me, but it is something that makes him that much more desirable for me. The arrogant front he so easily puts up can't mask that he is obviously a true friend, his devotion and caring are evident. The shallow and unnerving guy I first talked to in shadows of the front room, seems to have been hiding more than his physical self that night. The deep recesses of Embry Call seem to be furrowed deeper and more intricately than I could have ever imagined and yet I still know nothing of the actual wolf before me.

"What has you staying so quiet today?" He asks drawing me out of myself and back to the partly cloudy day before me.

"Just thinking." I say wistfully my voice light and airy.

He smiles, "I've been thinking too," He wraps his arm around my shoulder pulling me gently against him.

"What have you been thinking about?" I ask a little worried, this is the first time I have talked to him since he last phased, learning information about what went on the night he had patrol, sharing information against his will, or boasting his conquests—not sure which he would consider it.

"About everything that has happened in the past couple weeks." His thumb lazily trails across the light pink marks on my shoulder, sending a slight chill down my arm at his heated touch.

"hmmm anything specific rolling over in your mind?" I ask a little curious what occupies his mind.

"You just surprise me sometimes, just when I think I can predict your next move you do something crazy, it is like I don't even know you sometimes."

"I don't even know what I am going to do half the time; I have experienced so many new things since I moved here." I blush looking down and to the left away from him.

"Like the other night." I peek at him seeing his smile, his mouth slightly open his eyes bright but full of intrigue.

I open my mouth to say something but a smile creeps over my face, I close my mouth at a loss of words. "Yeah."

"I hope it was everything you imagined it to be…"He says almost sincerely, "You couldn't stop thinking about it since the party could you?" Sincerity is no where near his voice as the deep and arrogant voice takes over. "When I asked if you if you wanted to you really did didn't you, do you even remember what I am talking about?"

The party, my memory of that night I not that fuzzy anymore, I do remember, how could I forget Embry's hands on my body. How could I forget Paul's obvious display of his sexual conquests?

"Yes." I said my voice not feeling very confident at the moment as I admit that I wasn't entirely truthful to him that night.

"I thought so, the way you were openly staring at Paul made it so obvious." He smirks pulling me closer to him.

"Oh, now you think you can predict my actions huh?"

"Not your actions, but sometimes it is pretty obvious what you want even if you won't act on it."

"Really enlighten me, what else to I want that I won't let myself have?" I challenge him, hoping beyond all hope that he is wrong.

"You want me more than you let on; in fact I bet you can hardly stop thinking about it…"

I swallow loudly, "You're wrong." I choke out turning around facing him, escaping his grasp on me.

"I'm not. You're just scared, you are scared, not answering that question during truth or dare proves it, and you're scared to admit you want to have sex that you are dreaming about it, thinking about it constantly." His voice remains calm as he accuses me.

"I already told you I want to have sex with you, what more do you want from me damn it." I throw my hands up into the air trying to emphasize my point.

"I want you to be open with me, you are so closed off all the time, it is like pulling teeth trying to get anything out of you, don't get me wrong you have opened up to me but I feel like I am the only one not keeping secrets here."

Gosh, now he is making me feel guilty, I know I am not open with him about a lot of things. I am scared to tell him, that he scares me to death sometimes, I feel guilty lying to him, making him feel like I am okay with everything he tells me. I have to be strong, don't I, I think I really want this relationship to work, I am way to attached to the sweet kind hearted Embry to let his arrogant or terrifying sides to get the best of me. Sam said he isn't going to get better, can I really come to terms with this, can I put on a happy face instead of running for the hills and hiding from it all.

If I ran away from him now, would he chase me down again, would he force me to stay. Would something inside of him snap sending him down a road of no return where he holds me hostage in his house again? These are the questions that torment my mind, these are the thoughts I don't want him to know. The thoughts I myself don't want to have, I want to be accepting and when I think about it rationally I am accepting. I am not always rational, the fears inside me seek out their footholds and refuse to let anything go, whispering words of doubt and fear into my ears.

"What do you want to know?" I finally say after a few minutes of us silently starring at each other. The leisurely walk on the beach today has gone sour, much to my displeasure.

"What are you hiding from me? What has you so worried? You can tell me anything, it won't change how I feel about you, and nothing you say or do ever could."

"I know that, I'm not afraid of you not loving me, there are just certain things that I can't tell you that go on inside my brain, just like you can't share with me everything that you think about."

"Okay, I'll accept that but answer one question or I am going to go crazy thinking about it until it happens. Why are you afraid to answer the question, are you scared of what I will think of your answer or are you scared that it won't happen the way you want it to?" His face looks like he is pleading with me to answer him, to let him know the reasons behind my refusal.

I close my eyes collecting my thoughts, I can give him this, he deserves to know at least this much, "I don't want what I say to influence you, I want our first time to be what it is cause that is what happened between us, no preconceived notions or expectations hanging over us. I am sure you would be happy with any answer I gave because it would further confirm that I do want you, but it is like everything is so intense between us all the time I have no idea who you are beyond all the drama. I want to know who you are, putting aside imprinting, the pack, and everything else and just getting to know you."

He smiles slightly at me, although it isn't a happy smile but one of understanding. He pulls me into a hug kissing my temple, letting me know that he is aware of what I told him without words. Releasing me hesitantly, we walk the short way to the most comforting spot on the beach, at the base of the cliff where I first laid eyes on him, our spot.

He doesn't speak until we are sitting, his back against the cliff and my back resting snugly against his chest. His voice is barely above a whisper as he begins to tell me about himself. He holds me tight his fingers digging slightly into my flesh, one hand on my hip and the other on my upper arm. I listen intently hearing the pain in his voice when he talks about his father, feeling his grip tighten around me as he speaks about the loneliness he felt when he first phased, having to be away from his friends. His voice lightens a bit as he tells me about his likes and dislikes and for the first time since I met him I feel like I know who he is, what makes him who he is.

I don't speak once until his rough voice retreats, it echoes in my mind as if I can still hear him talking to me. The only other time I heard him talk so much was when he told me his secret in the woods. This was different, this sounded harder for him to do, talking about himself in a very personal way. He didn't use his calming voice, I love to hate, or the witty arrogance, but he spoke to me in a way I have never heard him speak.

I turn around facing him for the first time since we sat down, my chest pressed against his, I lean in pressing my lips gently against his in a chaste innocent kiss and I whisper, "Thank you." As a tear slowly streaks down my face, I swallow hard driving back any others that are threatening to come out.


	51. Chapter 51

**Okay here is the next chapter takes place in line with the last one hope you enjoy thanks to anyone who reviewed or fav or alerted not quite as long as previous chapters hope you like**

Larke's POV

I slowly place my head against his warm chest, my cheek burning against the contact. He pulls me closer to him, holding me close in this new more intimate embrace.

"You know, I knew them…" I say quietly, "One of them better than the others, a friend you could imply, but I guess not." His hand strokes my arm reassuring me that he is listening.

"I guess it is sorta ironic looking back, he actually came to the hospital to see if I was alright. You know after someone found me." Absently my fingers search out the scars on my wrist as I remember the pain, so real. "I didn't tell anyone, no one knows." My voice cracks slightly giving away my emotions I was trying to hide. I could feel Embry flinch beneath me, his whole body shifting like a spasm below me.

"It was devastating; knowing someone I trusted could go along with the sick minds of his drunken buddies. I knew all their names although I had never spoken to them, except him didn't occur to me ever to fear them. That is why I don't like to go home, it isn't just that the memories are there but so are they. I have seen them, at the store, the gas station, and countless other situations where their eyes seem to bore through me with what emotions I don't know—hate, fear, maybe remorse." I hear my voice, it is distant as I talk slowly pulling the words from deep inside myself.

We sat in almost silence for what could have been hours just being there for each other, occasionally he would ask me a random lighthearted questions. I answered with short but informative responses never once looking at him. I found it easier to open up to him if I couldn't see his eyes, but I was comforted by his minor movements as he made attempts to watch my own facial reactions to his questions. All the while, in the back of my mind the haunting words kept asking me how much longer this would last, how long do I have before I lose him to himself?

Nothing too extravagant has happened since that day at the beach. It appears that everything with Jake and Leah has been settled concerning Sam and the pack. I still don't understand all the specifics there but all I can say is that I have bumped into Jake in the upstairs hall much more recently. Leah must really like him, I can't see her spending that much time alone in her bedroom with a guy that doesn't mean anything to her. She never kept the guys at school occupied that much. Jake has been much more quiet since, looking like he is almost troubled over something, but I don't feel I can ask.

Embry hasn't been pushing about anything since that day at the beach. He is around like usual, but except for brief moments here and there we haven't been able to snag any alone time. He either has to patrol or I am stuck with food preparation duty with Kim or Emily thus there is little time for us to be alone. It has only been a week or so, what is wrong with me, I see him just about everyday. I should be content with that, shouldn't I?

Embry and Leah both have patrol tonight thus leaving the house almost completely empty considering Emily and Kim cooked dinner at her house tonight. Alone in the large house, I sigh heading upstairs to turn in early. No use waiting up, Embry hasn't been stopping by at night after patrol claiming he hasn't been getting done until nearly 3 or 4 in the morning, I would see him tomorrow for dinner, I hope. The blankets don't seem to provide me with enough heat these days, I curl into a ball missing the warmth I knew I wouldn't find tonight.

Sleep evades me, I toss and turn never finding the lull to bring me into the dark oblivion of sleep. Sudden urge to find what I need most surges through me, as my feet find their footing, the stairs cold and hard but not exactly as wet and icy as the grass beneath my bare feet. The chill of the air stings my cheeks as I force myself forward without thinking, into the tattered expanse of the darkened forest before me.

Something catches my sleeve but I tear forward as the material on my nightshirt rips slightly and the branch grazes my skin. A harsh red scratch will be more than evident in the morning. He must be out here somewhere, will I be able to find him, will he smell me in the forest and come rescue me from the darkened maze I am lost within. I barrel myself forward pushing thoughts of not finding him out of my head as I stumble into a clearing.

Cold, so cold as I remember that my feet are numb, the tingling now blatantly painful as I trip on a log landing hard on my forearms. I cry out at the pain and wince as the realization that I am stupid for coming out here washes through me. I will never find him, he is probably miles away from me at this very moment, but just as I look up I see a gray wolf with dark spots on his back come into my line of sight.

Overcome with joy that I found the very wolf I so stupidly stumbled out here to see. His teeth are bared in a low growl as his eyes fall upon me for the first time. I lurch upward into a sitting position looking directly into his eyes, Embry's eyes. He steps forward the snarl still on his jowls, I stumble back not sure what is wrong, he is mad, scaring me. I slowly make it to my feet before he can take another step, in a second I turn and run dead set on finding my way back home and quickly.

I make it two steps before something slams me roughly into a tree, my eyes close instinctively as I fear the worst. The wolf, no longer the furry four-legged kind is now completely naked, his body pressed firmly against me. I swallow, fear rising as I look into his eyes, the wolf's eyes are dark full of lust, his face is hard and firm as are his hands. I flinch as the bark scrapes and bites into the flesh of my arms as he twists them behind my back with one swift flick of his arm securely restraining me. I don't fight him, I know it is useless for he is strong much more powerful than the average beast, for that is what he is a beast.

"Come to play with the wolves." His voice low and menacing as his open mouth attacks my neck, his teeth scraping me roughly, before he sucks the tender flesh into his mouth.

"Shouldn't have come out here," His voice is dark, teasing and his breath so hot on my chilled skin, "Now I'll make you mine." He clamps his mouth down onto mine forcing his tongue deep within my mouth, his free hand gripping my shirt and tearing it from my body. This can't be happening I think as I am pushed harder into the tree behind me, pain and fear overwhelm me as I realize this is the time he isn't going to stop. How could I have told him I could handle this?

His hips grind forcefully into mine as he lets go of my wrists, his hands tear at my shorts, eager to remove the barriers between us. He is not gentle in the least as the material is shredded against my skin. Now like him I am bare, his eyes not wasting a moment as he eyes my body like a piece of meat. One last attempt to stop him, "Embry, please don't…" I plead my voice is weak catching on every syllable. He responds menacingly, "I know you want it,"

I close my eyes tight, my breath catching in my lungs, as he continues to force himself on me, not stopping once to look me in the eye. I open my eyes, letting out my ragged breath…he's gone, I am alone. A dream that is all it was, I am safely in my bedroom. Tears come to my eyes, streaming out uncontrollable. My breath catches, hysterically I sob my body shaking as I plaster my face into my pillows. It wasn't real, I repeat to myself between my raggedy sobs to try and calm myself. It was only a dream, a nightmare.

**Oh yeah thought i would mention that some of my inspiration for this chapter comes from 'little red riding hood' by Sam and the Sham but i like the Stones version a bit better it is a little darker sounding than the oldies version by Sam and the Sham**


	52. Chapter 52

**Next chapter you all are great thanks for the reviews hope you are not dissappointed with this chapter i cut it short not quite ready to write what comes next ENJOY**

Larke's POV

Just as I quiet myself down, I remember how he held me up against a tree before when it wasn't a dream. Tears start to fall again as I realize how real my dream was, he is really capable of doing that to me. How far would he take it…how out of control would he truly be? I don't want to see him I find myself thinking, I don't want to be alone. As ironic as it feels I don't want to be alone with him, only yesterday I was longing for some me and Embry time.

My sobs over take my breathing once again, sending me down the same track once again. A knock on my door, snaps my head up from my pillow as I listen, praying they will go away.

"Larke, are you alright?" I hear Leah ask through the now opening door. "Larke, I'm coming in, I can hear you crying all the way in my room."

"I-I-I'm fine." I stammer between sobbing gasps as I try to catch my breath. She sits beside where I am lying on my bed her hand comes to rest upon my back.

"You are anything but fine, what happened? You can trust me I won't tell anyone, Larke." She reassures me.

"I had a nightmare. It was awful." I say sitting up and hugging my concerned friend but I instantly flinch away from her warms recoiling backwards resting against the headboard.

"Tell me what you dreamt about. It will help."

"He was a monster…" I choke out not sure how to tell her that my dream was of Embry acting like a monster, the very kind of monster she wanted to protect me from not so long ago.

"Who was?"

"Embry…" I whisper as my eyes close gripping tightly on my thoughts I focus on the here and now, the present—not he past or the future.

"Oh Larke, after everything that has happened why now? What happened that has you scared of him all of a sudden?" she is concerned, her voice troubled as if she is searching for something she missed. "He didn't say anything had upset you, when we patrolled last night…"

"He wouldn't know." I looked down at the mattress, "I just can't tell him some things, it would make it too hard."

"Are you not telling him things or are you lying to him?" Leah questions frowning at me disapprovingly.

"I don't know, a little of both I suspect." I answer dodging the truth a bit.

"You know in the long run lying to him will hurt him more than tell him what you don't want him to know."

"No, it was just a dream." I say adamantly denying that her words are probably very true. I can't tell him the truth, it would hurt him to much I think he has enough to deal with besides struggling with my fears.

I didn't tell her the details of my dream, I led her to believe that her assumptions were true believing I was scared of his wolf form. If his wolf form was all I had to worry about I would be content, I love Embry as a wolf. I remind myself that it is the very wolf inside of Embry that causes his problems, where the distinct separation lies I haven't a clue. I feel like he is a ticking time bomb and I the lonely explosives expert hoping to diffuse a bomb I have never seen. One wrong move and the clock ticks fast until it happens. According to Sam, there is no right way to proceed no matter what metaphorical wires I cut, it is inevitable so to speak.

Leah leaves me to myself, the tears have stopped but the fear still resides having sunk it's teeth in deep this time. The endless thoughts in my head do nothing for me except sending me in circles of doubt and despair. Where is my faith in him? I know that he loves me so why must I have a fear of him. It was only last week that he opened up to me letting me inside.

I force myself to shower washing away the snot and tears from my face, hoping to draw away the redness from my eyes. I will see Embry tonight, he promised that we would have some time tonight, I tell myself I want to see him pushing the bad thoughts out of my head. It is like my brain doesn't differentiate between reality and my dream, but it was only a dream I was safe in my bed when I woke up. I don't even have to tell him if I don't want to, I don't think he would understand.

I catch up on my laundry and tidy up the house a bit just to consume the time, the house has been quiet all day. Leah is catching up on sleep and Seth and Brady are out and no one else has stopped by today. I settle in watching a bit of TV waiting for Leah to wake up so that I can help her with dinner. I didn't know who would be dropping in, Leah always seemed to know where and when everyone was doing things, must be a pack thing. I know that Embry is coming, Jake is usually here, but beyond that there could be no one else or everyone could arrive.

As four rolls around, I hear Leah coming down the stairs with Jake in tow, hmm I didn't know he was up there. It is funny seeing them together, Leah is obviously the dominant one in the relationship, kinda backwards if you ask me. I mean they are wolves, Males are dominant, and on top of that, Jake is the beta wolf of the whole pack. I wonder if it bothers him, does he even notice that he acts so different when they are alone. I doubt he knows it would hurt his ego a bit I think, he is still the same old Jake when around the rest of the pack. I smile at my analysis as they proceed into the living room plopping down beside me on the couch.

"Hey Jake, Leah." I greet them.

"Hey Larke, are you going to help with dinner tonight we got a crowd coming, or are you not feeling well yet." Leah asks suspiciously looking me over.

"I'm fine, sure I'll help with dinner, who is coming don't tell me everyone."

"No, Not everyone, Sam and Emily, Kim and Jared, and Quil won't be here, they are spending time with their imprints." Jake replies.

"Should I feel left out?" I laugh as I get up following them into the kitchen.

"No you get to see Em, he just wanted to still eat diner with the rest of the pack first." Jake chuckles at me.

"So what are we making for dinner?" I ask not really wanting to talk about Embry anymore.

"We are going for something simple but tasty, Monte Cristo sandwiches and French fries."

"Okay I know what fries are but what are the sandwiches again?" I ask never hearing of such a weird name for a sandwich.

"Oh, they are just ham and cheese sandwiches coated in egg and fried up like French toast." Leah explains.

"Okay, if you don't mind I'll just start on the fries." I say not wanting start off with cooking something I never made before. I let Leah cook the sandwiches while I toss the French fries into the broiler, leaving room in the oven for Leah's finished sandwiches to keep them warm.

Everyone would be here in about 30 minutes or so, just enough time to get this quick meal cooked. Leah expertly throws 8 sandwiches on the griddle at a time making it look like she has done this meal many times before. As many times as I have ate with and cooked for these guys it still amazes me at how much they pack into their stomachs, I alone would require a month to eat what one of them does in one day. My human impact on the food bill is tiny, Leah laughed at me when I placed a 20-dollar bill in the food jar stating that my dues were done for the whole year based on how little I ate. I just ignored her and made sure to put my money in when no one was looking.

Everyone arrived in one large group getting here just as I pulled the fries out of the oven. This is a casual meal so everyone just grabs their food plopping down every where from the kitchen island to the sofa in the living room. I snag a plate full and head into the living room where I thought I saw the most people head. Paul, Embry, Seth and Collin are all dining in the living room tonight I notice as I walk in. Two options are before me sit next to Embry on the sofa along with Seth or take a seat on the floor by my self since Collin and Paul have occupied the other furniture. My steps are hesitant and forced as I make my way to the sofa, keeping my mind on my food along with my eyes as I take the seat next to my boyfriend.

He notices that I hesitated. Why does he have to be paying attention so closely tonight? He doesn't say anything, but his eyes ask enough questions in his silence, I try and smile at him pushing back the images from my dream, fighting my memories of the glimpses of that side of him, willing the negative thoughts far from my mind. I am being ridiculous, utterly stupid, fearing the man beside me in a crowded room full of friends. I want to laugh at my idiocy but don't instead I relax my body into the couch and listen to the banter flowing through the room.

"Did she stop calling you yet Paul?" Collin asks with a smirk.

"No, I think I am going to have to change my number, I don't know how she got it." Paul replies. They must be talking about some girl Paul doesn't want anything to do with anymore. He is such an ass sometimes when it comes to girls; he should just pick one to keep for awhile. I mean what could it hurt. I hear everyone laugh at him as I tune out the rest of the conversation as the hot hand resting firmly on my knee averts my attentions. Such a simple innocent action shouldn't have my heart racing and jumping out of my chest, does it simply mean I enjoy it or is it fear.

He leans closer to me, "Are you finished? If you are we can sneak away to where ever you wish." I analyze his voice it is calm so no reason to be alarmed, his face it is relaxed and almost joyous so there is absolutely no reason that I can't be alone with the man before me. I nod and smile at him as he grabs my plate and returns to the kitchen leaving me on the couch to gather my courage.

My heart is racing as I head out the door with Embry the dark looming trees all around us to nothing for my nerves. Flashes of my nightmare visit my mind, causing my muscles to stiffen against his touch when his hand snakes around my waist as we walk. He is once again way too observant for his own good as he notices, a slight frown forming on his face. His hand smoothly sides away from my waist clasping at my hand and locking our fingers together. We continue down the road towards his house, I hesitate as I see him lead me towards the short path that leads through the trees and towards his house.

"Don't worry I'll protect you from the spooky woods." He says with a smile pulling me closer to his chest. I close my eyes tightly as we walk the short distance down the forested trail, oddly enough, pretending I am elsewhere provides me with a sufficient distraction to make it to the end of the trail. As my feet leave the sandy trail now firmly placed upon the grass again my eyes open once again taking in my surroundings. The first sight I have before me is Embry's face, intently looking at me as if he is searching my soul for the motivations behind my strange behavior tonight. I can no longer force the smile onto my face; instead, I just look down and away from his eyes.

The silence is deafening as we complete the short walk to his backdoor and into his bedroom. I take a seat on the bed cross-legged peering up at him not wanting time to continue. Upon entering the bedroom his composure fails, his eyes look sullen and confused as he leans morosely against the wall.

"What is up with you tonight?" His voice is strained but calm his face does not hold a smile, his stance against the wall is guarded probably fearing the worst.

"Would you believe me if I said nothing?" I ask in a weak wavering voice that I don't recognize. I look down instead of meeting his eyes.

"No, What did I do? What has you flinching away from my touch? I must have done something wrong but for the life of me I do not know what it is, it is like I fucking scared you or something." His voice rises at the end of his rant eliciting a sharp intake of air from me.

I look up at him for a moment, I have to look away instantly the pain and hurt on his face is evident, no longer hiding among a firm mask of sadness or confusion.

"You did nothing," I squeak out wanting to comfort him, wanting him not to be in pain.

"Tell me why. Prove to me that it isn't my fault." He demands of me joining me on the bed but keeping his distance obviously aware of his affect on me.

"I had a nightmare last night." I mutter hoping to avoid detailing the specifics for him by being overly general.

"About me?"

"Yea," I say closing my eyes wishing I could just put this all behind me, but it felt so real. It could be so real; I know deep down that it could happen.

"Do you want to tell me about it, it might help?"

"Can you just talk to me with that calming voice you use sometimes?" I ask moving a little closer to him hoping he will oblige and draw me away from myself and into him.

"I think I can do that what shall I talk about?" He asks with a little amusement playing in his voice. I just asked him to do something I previously told him not to do so many times.

"Anything it doesn't matter."

His voice radiates from his mouth sending waves of reassurance and comfort through me, I don't know how his voice alone can sooth me so but it does. Almost instantly, I wrap my arms around him as I melt into his side relishing in the calming sensations I longed to feel all day without even knowing it. I dreaded seeing him all day only to find my absolute comfort right in his arms. The anxiety of my dream drifts away as Embry guides me backwards till we are lying down on his bed. My head resting on his hot chest, I feel the sweat bead on my forehead but I can't give up the lulling feeling of peace. His voice is rambling incoherent words, although I am sure the sentences would make sense if I could focus beyond myself. My lids feel heavy as I pull him closer to me, drifting away into the land of slumber.


	53. Chapter 53

**Okay i hope you all enjoy this chapter it was a little diferent to write for me dont know why nothing really crazy happens but i guess i just didn't know where the characters wanted to do Thanks for all the reviews you guys are great ENJOY...**

Larke's POV

My eyes snap open as the warmth surrounding me suddenly departs, I look around the room cautiously my eyes centering on the nearly nude form in front of me. I can't help but take note of the exposed flesh before me, he is not wearing his usual garb but instead clad only in a pair of plaid boxers. My mind jumped out of the innocent bus and straight into the pits of vulgarity. Pulling myself from my very vivid thoughts I stretch my arms above my head awakening my muscles and noticing for the first time that I lack certain attire I remember falling asleep in last night. As I sit up slowly, pulling the sheet around my nearly naked body which is scarcely dressed in only my undergarments. Embry now bending over looking for something in a draw has yet to acknowledge that I am awake, but he surely knows, I mean how could he not with his canine like hearing.

"Morning." I whisper my voice hoarse with morning sleepiness.

"Morning," He replies giving up his search and joining me on the bed, his eye scrutinize me from my clutching of the sheet around me to the look I have in my eyes. "You took them off while you were sleeping." He nods his head at me slightly.

"Oh, Sorry." I mumble feeling a little exposed at the moment, it is one thing when I decide to strip for him but a completely different thing when I do it unconsciously for him.

"It's okay I mean I don't mind, I mean I'm not wearing much either." He says with a shrug.

I blush at his statement for because of where my mind keeps taking me rather than the fact that we are both nearly naked on his bed.

"Are you feeling better?" He asks his words almost shaky as he speaks them.

"I'm sorry about last night, I just freaked myself out a bit after the dream I had, I mean it all just seemed so real…" I trail off not really wanting to tell him about any details, I don't want him knowing that I fear him.

"You know I would never hurt you." He says trying to comfort me.

"No." I say in disbelief my voice a little harsher than I would have expected.

"I would never hurt you on purpose, I do not want to ever hurt you again, so what ever you dreamt about won't happen." He sounds confident, but if he knew what he was telling me wouldn't happen I don't know if he would be so sure.

I am silent thinking over my thoughts looking for an answer or question that will not give me away. I wish everything were normal. Would he even like me if he didn't imprint on me?

I settle for a simple, "Okay." And as simple as the word is my voice was lacey heavily with apprehension and disbelief.

He slowly grabs the sheet out of my clutching hands and draws it over himself while simultaneously snaking his heated arms around me drawing me into his body. His hands are strong and tense as they trail over my sides.

"What do you think you're doing?" I ask my voice slightly teasing mixed with a little fear.

"I can't help it I watched you take off your clothes all night knowing I couldn't touch you without being a total perv, but now you're awake and it is hard not to want you."

"It's hard huh…" I say smirking at him as I twist in his arms so that I am face to face with him. "How hard was it earlier, you could have woken me before I continued you know."

"I couldn't do that and it's not like I haven't see you before." His hand is now playing with the elastic band on my panties, I allow him, but I know it isn't going any further right now.

His lips catch mine before I can protest his actions as he causes my breath and my conscious thoughts to be extracted swiftly from me. As soon as his mouth leaves mine trailing slowly down my next, I start to fight against my raging hormones working up the words to tell him to stop. As his mouth reaches my bra, his hands no longer just toying with fabric, my body egging him on at every sensation, I find my tongue remembering that it has a use other than kissing and I force the words out of my mouth.

"Embry, down boy." I say like I am scolding a dog and I smirk at him as he stops what he is doing instantly. His eyes are dark with obvious lust as he removes his hands from my body and rolls off to the side of me with a loud groan.

"Do you have to scold me like I'm a puppy?" He grumbles. "I already get enough shit from everyone about your little jokes."

I take in his expression observing that he isn't mad, my eyes roaming a bit lower seeing him only in his boxers sheds new light on his obvious state of arousal.

He suddenly hops up throwing on a pair of shorts, "Come on." He says quickly extending his hard to me, "Put this on were gonna have some fun." I throw on his shirt that he tosses me, way too big not one of his old ones one that would fit him now. It is like a dress on me.

He rushes us out the door his hand and fingers linked with mine, the air is chilly on my exposed legs as I jog behind his hasty walk. "Where are we going?" I ask very aware that I am in no state to be in public with only Embry's shirt on.

"You'll see…" He says smirking at me.

We are clearly heading to the beach but from an obviously different angle, somewhere on the beach I haven't been before. We are high above the beach I realize as Embry starts to pull me faster and faster through the overgrowth of bushes and trees. He scoops me up in an instant and the next second we are flying off the side of a cliff and into the air.

I scream…he is crazy. We are going to die, we are not Romeo and Juliet I don't want to have a suicide pact.

The water is freezing as if surrounds me, nothing beyond the utter cold could even hold a thought in my mind. Everything is cold, that is until I feel the warmth. Embry's body has never been more welcomed as it is right now. I clutch on to his shoulders pulling myself into him drawing on his warmth like I would die without him. I wrap my legs snuggly around his waist as we slowly make our way to shore. My mind still reeling in the fact that he jumped off a cliff with me into and icy death trap. I guess a cold shower just wouldn't do.

It was fun I have to admit it. We will have to try it again when I am a little more willing to jump on my own. I wonder if this is something he likes to do often, the cold doesn't bother him.

"You crazy werewolf." I say as I regain my voice shivering slightly.

"You got that right, I'm all kinds of crazy you haven't seen nothing yet." Cocky Embry is back right on cue, with the evil smirk and all.

"Let's just get out of here before I freeze to death I need to get out of these wet clothes."

"That is something I would love to see,"

The walk back to his house is much slower than the rushed journey to the cliff. Embry's shirt is heavy and laden with so much water it sloshes against me sending chills up my spine. The back of me is quiet chilled while the front of me is ever so warm it is like I am a melting ice cube all together both hot and cold at the same time.

The warm air of the house is a shock to part of me as we enter. Embry does not set me down but continues all the way to the bathroom and into the shower. The hot scalding water is pouring down on me still locked around Embry's chest in a matter of seconds. I exhale deeply as the hot water frees me from the cold.

Embry's hands pull the large t-shirt from my body allowing me to fully feel the water rushing down my back. I relax into him relishing in the fact that I am now warm. Just then I realize that I am in the shower nearly naked with Embry, my legs seem to instantly unlock from his waist as I look up at him blushing hoping the hot water covers up any new flushing of my cheeks. I steady myself on the floor of the tub, wanting to stand on my own, a little embarrassed that we are in the shower together.

"Are you better?" Embry asks as his hands slowly trail down my arms in an attempt to stabilize my wobbly knees but only managed to make them worse.

"Much." I say not looking at his eyes but staring intently at one of his nipples, why I have no clue.

Another word isn't said between us as we wash the salt water from our bodies. I try and pretend that he is not actually in the shower with me; thankfully I am in my underwear and they aren't see through when wet. My nervousness must be obvious because he doesn't make too many attempts to help me, but gentle brushes of his skin against mine have to be strategically placed for how could he accidently touch me that many times. We finish our awkward shower in our undergarments and he leans across me to turn off the water and I wonder what on earth am I going to put on now.

Embry steps out grabbing two huge towels out of a cabinet opening one up wide in front of him.

"Take off the rest of your wet clothes, I won't look." Embry says holding the large towel in front of his face.

"You can't see through it can you?"

"Of course not I have my eyes closed too."

I hesitantly remove my bra and underwear and quickly wrap the towel snuggly around me and indeed his eyes are securely closed.

"You can look now."

Embry's eyes open and smiles timidly at me. His hands hesitantly move down to his shorts and I gasp as I realize he is going to undress and quickly turn around closing my eyes tightly. Was he even going to warn me? I mean as much as I think I want to see him naked I know I don't want to yet. It is way to scary to think about that part of his anatomy, I mean he is an extremely large wolfman I can only imagine what else is extremely large. I hear his wet shorts slop onto the floor and inhale deeply realizing I wasn't breathing regularly.

"Come on lets find you some clothes." He says grabbing my hand and twirling me around to face him. He has the towel only wrapped around his hips making him look really hot with the steam of the bathroom still wafting around us. The dips from his hair cascading down his chest, and of course the towel looking like it could fall off at any moment.

He leads me out of the bathroom and back towards his bedroom, I shiver as the cooler air of the house hits me like an arctic blast.

Embry rummages through his drawers tossing random thing on his bed, a shirt flying here, a pair of sweats there all of which are gigantic and would never fit me.

"Take your pick those are all the clean clothes I have, we can wash and dry your wet…uh things as soon as we aren't in towels." Embry says a little fidgety as he eyes the clothes on the bed and then me.

I sift through the lack of choices settling on a t-shirt once again that I know will cover the parts of my body I don't want exposed. I put my arms through the shirt holes with my towel around me still, I feel Embry's eyes on me as he watches probably hoping for a glimpse of something he hasn't seen yet. No luck for him I pull the shirt down and sweep the towel out from under the shirt/dress that I now have perfectly in place. His eyes are wide when I look up at him, but I try not to let it bother me.

"Are you going to prance around in a towel all day?" I ask knocking the wide-eyed look off his face.

He clears his throat, "I do not prance." He says grudgingly grabbing a pair of shorts off the bed and exiting the room, no doubt to put them on.

I call out after him, "Awww I don't get to watch!" I giggle at him as he comes back into the room with his pants securely in place.

"Come on we got some laundry to do." He says grabbing my closes from the mess of the bed sheets. He stops at the bathroom to grab my wet underthings before we head into the laundry room.

He throws the stuff into the washer with surprising grace, hmmm he actually knows how to do laundry.

"Now what?" I ask standing before him in nothing more than one of his shirts, we are defiantly not going anywhere.

"Movie?" He asks sounding hopeful.

"Sure." I say not wanting to know what else Embry could think up for us to do while I don't have pants or underwear on. I don't even want my mind thinking of what we could do either. Movie sounds safe.


	54. Chapter 54

Jake's POV

Being with Leah is all-together the best and the most trying thing I have ever done in a long time, it is like when we are together something clicks inside both of us. I am not just talking about sex either, the more and more time I spend with her the more I think there is something underlying that neither of us can seem to place.

I feel like I can let myself go around her, I am free to be myself for a change and not worry about how I am going to look to the pack, to Sam. Everyone expects so much out of me and I don't want any of it. I was expected to take over for Sam, I was expected to be strong in the face of danger, but when I think about it further than just having fun my mind seems to whirl around itself instead of staying focused. Werewolfism has not been kind to me, it is something that just doesn't come natural, like it is for Paul, Quil, and even Sam to some extent. I am still expected to be the strong Alpha in training so to speak, don't get me wrong pack life has its perks but I would give it all up to have no bigger worries than finding the next part of the car I'm working on.

When I am with Leah it al floats away from me, like the sun burning off the fog of the morning, Leah burns away the fog that surrounds me shielding my true self from others. I wonder sometimes if my friends, my pack, would look down on me if I could not hide things from them. If they had continued to know my every thought and feeling would they still hold the respect for me. Sure, I have let my guard down letting certain emotions bolt through in stressful situations, but I have never bared all for them since before I left on my 'vacation' so to speak.

Right now, Leah and I are lying on her bed saying nothing, the silence surrounding us is a dull comfort that exists between her and I. Her fingers slightly entwined with one of my hands, as the minutes roll on. It has been quiet between us since I arrived today, words not being enough to express what I want to say. My courage is wavering much too strongly for my mouth to speak it. The question that is between us, we both know what the other wants to ask, what the other needs to say, but silence is all we can agree on at the moment, for our thoughts from each other have remained guarded on this topic, the topic of what we are.

I glance swiftly over at her trying to judge her mood, what emotions are on her face I wonder as my eyes carefully dart towards her. Contact, I see nothing more of her face than her eyes, which catch mine with a serious sincere, look that is all but begging me to bravely breech the silence. My brain says look away fast, but my body has other ideas and keeps the intensity of the gaze between us for far longer than I would have ever expected to have the gull to.

Locked in her eyes my mind wonders back to the first time I remember seeing Leah as part of the pack, her thoughts ragged and coarse, hurtful and full of vengeance. For the first time she understood exactly what had fallen between her and Sam, like me when I first phased she was consumed by her emotions, the feelings blinding her from all else. I never knew Leah personally, before she was part of the pack, only saw her for the briefest of moments in passing before she became part of my life. I smile thinking of my memories of her, how she always seemed to seek me out, to spite me, drawing on my adolescent insecurities, the tension between us was always more pronounced than with her and the others except Sam of course.

We didn't actually become 'friends' until tragedy stuck when her mom lost her fight with cancer. I was there for her and Seth, taking the role of comforter and providing the support they both needed from someone in the pack. As second in command, I thought it was my duty to be there since Leah would not be comfortable with Sam stepping in. Leah had slowly been changing since we sent her away, my plan finally coming full circle as I look at the no longer hateful and vengeful girl…woman beside me. I never once thought any man would be able to live up to Leah's expectations, replace the god like presence that Sam was in her life.

"Leah…" I say quietly finally finding my voice wanting nothing more than to find out what she is thinking.

"Yeah, Jakey." She says turning towards me placing her forehead snuggly against my bicep. Her moist breath caresses my skin due to her close proximity, which causes my thoughts to falter in my head.

I struggle to regain my thoughts knowing that my words need to ring true and not be a mottled mess. "I don't know where this is going between us, but for the life of me I can't seem to convince myself that I don't want to be with you regardless of weather it is for a short amount of time or if it last years. I don't want to stop myself, what I am feeling seems to out weight the risks…" I trail off suddenly afraid that I over stepped my bounds, that she is going to reject me, tell me she is just having sex with me and that is all it can ever be.

I close my eyes waiting for her to speak; afraid to look at her not sure I want to see the rejection I am so sure I will receive. Her free hand trails up my chest slowly traveling upwards, the feeling causes my muscles to ripple beneath her hand savoring her touch. Her fingers slowly grasp my chin turning my face towards her, my eyes leisurely flutter open locking once again into her eyes as she seems to steal my soul away with her gaze.

"Jacob I totally agree." She says intensely, her tongue darts out trailing from the tip of my chin up to my top lip before she gently places a heated kiss on my mouth. My mind was stressing and flailing before she kissed me, but now I can't even comprehend that she desires me, she wants me.

The kiss ends way to soon from my point of view but I guess if she didn't stop now we wouldn't be stopping for quite awhile.

"Come on Jake, we have to go start dinner." She says climbing out of bed but not before her hand trails down my chest along my entire body till she reaches my knee.

I groan at her touch and pull myself reluctantly up to follow her downstairs.

Larke's POV

The buzz of the dryer sounded just as the movie ended; Embry had gotten up midway into the movie to throw the clean clothes into the dryer. We watched some weird comedy that seemed to lack a plot but not that I minded. It was weird sitting on the couch next to Embry knowing full well that I only had a shirt on, his hand rested firmly on my knee almost the whole time. It was a bit uncomfortable but I managed to relax into his side.

"Your clothes are done, think you'll need any help getting them on or out of the dryer?" Embry asks politely.

"No, I think I will be fine." I say wondering what his angle is. I stand up instantly missing his warmth as I make my way over to the dryer. Embry I notice lags behind but still is following me.

I open the dryer with a loud clunk, peering into the dark hole I don't realize I am going to have to search through everything to find my underwear and clothes from yesterday. I climb down onto the floor and start digging through the clothes placing what I find above my head onto the dryer. I find my jeans and shirt and bra just find but have a slight problem locating my panties. I lean deeply into the dryer, just I am about to give up I spot them hanging out in the way back. I grab them and turn around briefly to tell Embry I found them finally only to blush as what I see. Embry is looking at me, but not just at what I am doing but at the slight view of my not so covered butt. I gasp and quickly pull the shirt lower standing up in one fluid motion. I turn glaring at him.

"What?" He questions playing the I'm innocent card.

"You did that on purpose." I accuse you wanted to look.

His eyes cast down briefly but he does not look away from me for more than half a second, "It's not my fault." He says implying that somehow all the blame falls on me.

"You're the one who threw me into the ocean; smartass so don't even start to blame someone besides yourself for my lack of clothes." I say in a huff as I stalk out of the room with my pile of clothes in hand.

**Well there goes the next chapter for all you Leah and Jake lovers hope you enjoyed for all you who wanted for Larke/Embry well larke is a bit mad right now so just let her get dressed first**

**Thanks for all the reviews never once thought my story would be liked :)**


	55. Chapter 55 again

Denial is a small word with a great meaning behind it, I am currently going to great lengths to deny many things in my life right now. At least I am trying to deny certain things; my progress no matter how inhibited still holds my tongue for the moment at least. What precisely do I have to deny, I mean I finally feel like I belong here, I have great friends and a handsome boyfriend to state the grimmest of details.

No matter which route I take, I fear the outcome will be the same I will see hurt and pain in the very eyes of the man I only wish the best for. What are people's motivations for denying that something exists, what do I have to resolve before I can face this? A) I will accept it and admit to Embry that I have been lying to him, or B) it will happen and Embry will be face to face with the lie as it plays out before us, either way he finds out and will probably be pissed at me, which I don't want.

I scowl at my toast, shoving the last piece into my mouth, why does life have to be so complicated. I am eating breakfast alone because the pack has some stupid morning time pack meeting, which apparently doesn't include me or any of the other imprints, I guess they meet for top secret pack stuff in the woods. Wonder if they even got breakfast, I would hate to be Sam if they didn't. I wonder what could be so important that they had to meet today, it isn't everyday that they have to talk about things in private, usually pack meetings are more casual, things discussed over dinner regardless of who else is present.

I wonder if Embry will tell me what is going on, or if I am meant never to know. I slouch down into the couch trying to will my thoughts to leave my brain. I haven't had to many mind warping zoning out occurrences lately, been pretty calm but I also haven't had much down time to think about things. It sure does help when Embry is around I mean there is nothing like his presence to calm me down, under the right circumstances that is, cause other times that boy sure can pull my nutty strings. Just thinking about him wrong can pull emotions of fear straight out of the dark depths of me and place them into the forefront of my mind. When he gets a certain look in his eyes I feel the fear rise to the surface, it is like he has less control some times and I see a darker part of him showing through.

I don't want to fear him, I want to embrace the darker side of him, why can't I just accept it and trust that he wouldn't hurt me when he is acting that way. I wonder now that I have thought this over that when or if it does happen will I be any more accepting, will I be able to handle what he does. I guess it comes down to what about the whole situation scares me the most. How much of it is just my fear of actually being with him, having sex with someone that is? How much of my fear is caught up in the actual aggressive nature that he can exude? How much of it is just irrational? These are questions I have no answers to and probably never will.

The clanging of the back door sends a jolt through me pulling me back into the reality that is ever before me. Jake and Leah saunter through the door followed by Seth and Embry, silence is one thing I did not expect upon their return, silence is never a good sign when it comes to these wolves. Embry hops over the back of the sofa and crashes down next to me in one swift motion before I can even say hi.

His bare arms scoop me up pulling me tight to his chest. The aroma that is him floods my nostrils, the woodsy smell is overwhelming heightening the sensation of being close to him. His mouth descends into the crook of my neck gently he licks my skin while making a small groan from deep within his throat.

His voice husky and deep as he whispers, "I love you." His tongue traces my ear lobe before he tugs on it carefully with his teeth, causing me to throw my head back slightly stopping any sound from coming from my lips.

Embry hasn't told me directly that he loves me, sure he has hinted at the fact that he does but never once has he out right told me 'I love you'. What do I say to that? How should I respond, it is not like I haven't thought about it before, trying to center and figure of what my feelings for him actually are. Is it really love? Can I love someone I fear? Can I love someone who is completely insane sometimes? Is it just this imprinting thing working its magic on me, or are my feelings for this man truly my own?

I always manage to have more questions than answers, more mysteries to solve than information to bring about a decision. It is not fair there needs to be a werewolf imprinting survival guide, one that explains it all…how to deal with your sexually frustrated werewolf boyfriend would also be nice.

I push my body against him and mutter, "I know." Still not ready to tell him that I think I also love him, not sure if it is truly love. I turn to look up at him and am met with a calm overly unemotional face, instantly I feel bad not being able to tell him that I love him too.

"How was your meeting?" I question but really don't want to know.

"Fine, nothing to worry about." He says absently making me feel like there is something I should worry about.

"Okay, are you hungry, I could make you a sandwich or something?"

"That's okay Sam brought doughnuts and I think I ate about a dozen or so."

"Okay, so what do you want to do today?"

"We could always do laundry again." He smirks his voice teasingly sweet.

"Not a chance." I laugh and he look a little sad, his lower lip sticking out a bit.

"umm, we could go hiking…"

"NO!" I say too quickly cutting him off.

"But you love the forest…"

"Not today, lets just stay in and I'll uh…make you some cookies." I say trying to think of something that would persuade him to want to stay in the house today, I just can't deal with being alone with him in the woods yet…my dream still too fresh in my head.

"Okay, you convinced me but next time we have some time to ourselves we are going hiking, Okay?"

"Sure, I am just really in the mood for some cookies. What is your favorite kind of cookie?"

"Chocolate chip walnut, do you know how to make those?"

"Of course, come on lets see if we have everything we need, or you'll have to run to the store." I say climbing out of his grasp reluctantly and heading to the kitchen.

**Okay sorry for the short chapter but had a bit of writers block trying to figure out how to get where i need to get in this story without moving too slow or fast but more drama to come Thanks for all the reviews keep them coming let me know what you think Enjoy...**


	56. Chapter 56

**Sorry for those of you who chapter 55 cut off i tried to fix it don't know if i did but sorry for the confusion Another fun chapter neccesary for later chapters so EnJOY**

As much as I love, cooking and baking nothing could compare to watching Embry try and help me cook. I was distracted with him watching me can you imagine how distracted I am when he is helping me. The man has nothing on Emril when it comes to holding my attentions in the kitchen, it is quite a site to watch sugar miss the bowl pooling on the floor, not to mention the face he made when the first batch came out of the oven. I just smiled at him when the cookie burnt the inside of his mouth, he probably couldn't even taste it. There is nothing like the promise of cookies to distract a werewolf.

The last batch consists of one super huge cookie in the center of the baking sheet that Embry insisted we make, so three dozen cookies and one gigantic one later we are finished. What do I have to show for my efforts about 18 cookies and a very possessive werewolf guarding those very cookies.

"Your not gonna let anyone have some are you?" I laugh as I plop down on the sofa followed by Embry tub of cookies in hand.

"You can have one if you want but they are mine, you made them for me." He states simply.

"Really I don't recall that being said I only asked what kind you like."

"That is close enough…"

"Fine, it'll just be torture for anyone who enters this house when they smell the cookies but can't find them." I laugh.

"That's fine with me, just don't let me catch you making any other guys cookies, I might get jealous."

"Really, don't think I've ever seen you jealous before." I say trying to think through all my memories of Embry.

"No? I kinda thought you had…" Embry says sounding a bit confused, hmmm did I miss him being jealous. Who could he have been jealous of?

"Nope nothing rings a bell."

"Well, okay don't think you would like it."

"Do you have to patrol tonight?" I ask suddenly wondering how much longer we can lounge around together.

"Yeah, but not until later, you know after dinner."

"You better hope someone else comes along to cook cause there ain't no way I am going back in that kitchen today." I laugh, "This couch and me are gonna be good friends tonight."

"That's okay I still have cookies." He says hugging the tub of cookies to his chest dramatically making me giggle at his antics.

"So this weekend I'll take you hiking there is somewhere I've been wanting to take you."

"Hiking, like in the forest?"

"Yes, Larke where else would I take you hiking around here."

"Yeah, sorry wasn't thinking."

"Come on sound a little more excited than that I know you love the outdoors don't make me have to convince you to do something you'll love."

"Sorry yeah it sounds great, I'm just tired," I say trying to keep my voice level so he doesn't notice that the very thought of being alone with him in the woods is terrifying me. Calm down, I tell myself…everything will be okay.

Luck is on my side tonight for he doesn't notice my aloofness to the forest, my nervousness about being alone with him in seclusion. He drifts off into a nap as we lie here in the living room, my mind doesn't allow me such comforts so I watch his chest rise and fall with his breathing. The minutes pass into hours as I watch him sleep zoning out a bit but not recalling where I ventured.

The back door slams pulling me out of my daze, Embry shoots upright instantly alert and looking around for the source of noise.

"Hey you two, have you been lying around on the couch all day?" Seth asks as he, Collin, and Brady enter the living room.

"No, not really." I reply stretching my stiff muscles.

"Really could have fooled me, except that it smells like cookies in here." Collin replies with his nose twitching in the air.

"They're mine, back off." Embry scowls.

"Sorry Embry, didn't mean to make you mad." Collin apologizes swiftly.

"Don't worry Collin, he's been grouchy lately you know…"Seth says smirking at tapping shoulders with his friend as if to suggest the reason why silently.

"Shut it." Embry grumbles glaring at his two friends.

"Don't you have somewhere to be, Embry." Brady says diffusing the tension in the room.

"Yeah, yeah I was just leaving, I'll see ya later Larke," Embry says making his way to the front door sleepily.

"So where are my cookies?" Seth asks sadly.

"Sorry Seth, Embry stole them all…he is a bit possessive of them too." I laugh.

"No doubt, next time hide a few okay." He says with a silly pout.

"Sure thing, I just can't guarantee that you'll be the wolf that gets here first to eat them."

I spend the rest of the night watching the three of them goof off; they are rather silly when it comes down to it. They are a great mental distraction, not once until I headed up to bed did I think about this coming weekend…hiking through the woods alone with Embry.


	57. Chapter 57

**Okay heres the next chapter sorry for it being so short again, i will hopfully get to the point where i have more to write but this chapter needs to explain what was going on so with out further adue here is Jake's POV EnJOY thanx for the reviews love to hear what you think keeps my mind working and updates easier to write. **

Jake's POV

Never have I want less to get up for a pack meeting, although it doesn't help that I am not in my own bed. It doesn't help that I would rather stay here with this woman in my arms, hoping for something a little more rowdy than a quick bite and a pack meeting. Alas, I must be there if not because there is an important issue to discuss but I just so happen to be the second in command. Pity me and those who have power that they don't want, I yawn loudly stretching my arms above my head and away from Leah's body. I miss the contact almost instantly, but what can I do we are both expected to be up and about and to the woods.

Pack meetings in the woods are rare for us, meaning there is something up, something Sam wants to discuss seriously without interference, meaning Emily or any of the others who happen to be present at meal times. As much as we all phase in front of each other over the years I can't help but feel a little awkward now that I have seen Leah closer and more personally than the rest of the guys, except maybe Sam. Sam being around just adds further to the awkwardness, Leah tries to hide any discomfort from the situation but as much as I try hearing the thoughts of my pack mates about Leah and me allows little to go unnoticed in my mind.

I roll out of bed searching the floor for my discarded pants while I listen silently to the sounds of Leah stirring next to me. My muscles revolt as I climb to a standing position after spotting my jeans on the other side of the room. Once I am dressed, if you can call a pair of pants dressed that it, I wake Leah who is trying very hard to pretend that it is not morning.

"Leah, get up we have to go to the pack meeting in like 10 minutes." I say gently shaking her shoulder.

Almost instantly, her arm shoots up and grabs me catching me off guard sending me flying backwards onto the bed by her feet. She throws herself on top of me, smirking devilishly. She can't take me in a fight but when I'm not expecting it she can sometimes catch me off guard, and this morning I was hardly expecting the woman I just woke up next to to throw me and pin me. I am so glad that I don't have to tell the pack everything I would never live down being pinned by Leah, though I don't object to the idea as long as she is looking at me like that.

Her lips catch mine just barely as she takes my bottom lip between her teeth pulling a little rougher than I expected. As she lets go I can't help but wish it was any other morning but this one where she wanted to pounce on me. With a groan I push her off me, I get myself under control, and find my footing on the floor putting some distance between me and her before we don't make it to the woods this morning.

"Get dressed, we are going to piss Sam off." I say forcing myself to turn and walk out of her bedroom.

We are late of course, how could we not be, lateness is our punishment as we get closer and realize Sam brought doughnuts. We each get one since I snatch up two before Paul devours the last box full.

"Hey those were mine." Paul gripes.

"To bad don't piss me off." I growl as I hand one of the doughnuts to Leah just as she pulls on a short sundress covering herself.

"Cut it out both of you." Sam's voice rings silencing us all from our bickering. "That's better, now if we could please get started I thought that we should pick up patrols for a while there has been an increase in leech activity the past week. Your reports indicate that their must be vampires near here although none of you have reported a fresh trail. I don't want to alarm anyone until we know for sure what we are dealing with. Lone bloodsuckers are not too much of a security risk but I still don't want to be taken by surprise."

"Are you sure there is only one?" Paul asks his voice not nearly as steady as I believe it should be. We haven't had leeches around for a while and the tension is running high as I survey those in my eye line.

"Not 100 percent, but nothing ever is, Patrols will be three at a time during the evening hours and adding lone patrols during the day. I don't want to take any chances until we are sure the bloodsucker has moved on or has been destroyed."

Everyone voices their agreement, not that it is required for the job to get done but I don't believe that Sam wants it to come down to ordering us to patrol. We divide up the shifts and are sent on our way. Leah and I take off with a not so approving glare from the alpha, but I hope it is only because I am with his ex-girlfriend, not that we are not imprinted.

Seth and Embry trail behind us as we run back to the house, Embry I suppose because Larke will be waiting. As we phase back I can tell we are all consumed by our thoughts, the silence is deafening as we head into the house. A vampire, things were getting a little quiet around here, but as much as I love ripping them apart I could do without.


	58. Chapter 58

**Okay here is a longer chapter to make up for those last few shorties hope you enjoy thanks to any who reviewed ENJOY **

Larke's POV

If I were normal, I would be thrilled by the idea of spending the day hiking with an incredibly hot wolf man but I am not normal. This fear I have of being alone with him in the forest is eating my brain and my heart, I cannot for the life of me shrug it off. Every time I think about walking in the forest with him I get this feeling like I am not going to come out alive. I mean come on, it's not like he will eat me for dinner, he assured me that the whole werewolf eating people thing was a myth. He laughed at me actually, when I mentioned full moons, but regardless he still wants to throw me against a tree, I just know he does.

Push it out of my mind, I repeat over and over willing myself to forget the evil thoughts in my head. I haven't seen Embry since that morning, something about extra patrols he said Sam thought they were all slacking off or something. Not seeing Embry has sure made me actually start to look forward to seeing him all day tomorrow. Hmmm, looking forward to being scared, not the highlight of my brain's thoughts at the moment. Maybe I won't even be scared, it has been a while since my dream, maybe the feeling is gone. I haven't been dreaming anything but good things about him all week. I smile recalling one of the more NC-17 moments, I dreamt about and this dream had nothing to do with forests or Embry going crazy with lust, but of the Embry who is kind and gentle.

Good thoughts that is how I will recover from my traumatic thinking, of course there is not way Embry would ever hurt me he told me himself. I sigh and push everything from my mind willing myself to have a dreamless sleep. The ticking of my clock is the last thing I remember as I drift off to sleep.

The morning came too fast, I woke up late and now I am rushing to get ready so that Embry and I can get going. Jeans, tank top, and a hooded sweatshirt are my attire of today so that if I get to sweaty I can strip off my top layer. Nervous high up on my list of emotions I am feeling right now, a little excitement mixed with fear is also playing on my mind.

I smile at myself in the mirror as I wipe away the white fog that spread across the exposed mirror while I showered. My face does less to reassure me than I hoped it would, disappointment forming a frown upon my face. I will have to put on a happy face if I am going to enjoy today. I don't know how long I have wanted to go hiking with Embry and I am not going to let my stupid irrational fears ruin it.

I pull my hair back into a high ponytail, in hopes to keep my hair out of the way as we hike. I feel a bit more energetic after my shower so my step has a bit of a bounce to it as I head downstairs to find my shoes. I don't believe in hiking boots, they always feel way to heavy on my feet, so I slip on a pair of well broken in tenni shoes. Embry is here already, not a surprise when I see his feet bare and only a black tank top donning his torso. I can't helps but notice the way his muscles put a strain on the thin black fabric, or how black makes his skin tone stand out, but despite how my eyes rake over his body I tear them away before I get caught ogling him.

"Are you gonna eat something before we head out?" Embry asks the smile on his face slight and small, a relief and comfort to me.

"Yeah, probably should sorry I got up late." I say running my hands down the fronts of my jeans as I stand up heading to the kitchen to grab something quick and easy. "Did you eat something already?"

"Yeah, while I was waiting I had a few bowls of cereal." He says with a shrug taking a seat at the kitchen island as I search for some leftovers in the fridge. I settle on some left over mac n cheese. I pull it out and start eating it cold, getting weird looks from Embry.

"What it tastes good like this never knew you were a picky eater, I've seen you eat moldy cheese." I say scrunching my nose up at him.

"That's different all cheese is is mold, besides I'm me and your you…you shouldn't be hungry enough just to eat anything."

I scoff at him, "I told you I prefer it this way." I say shoving a fork full into my mouth.

"Fine, I believe you." Embry says in defeat resting his head in his hands as he watches me finish my cold pasta.

"So may I ask exactly what we are hiking to, today?"

"Something you will more than likely enjoy."

"Okay okay be cryptic see if I care." I say sarcastically with a smile.

"C'mon let's get going, don't worry about lunch I packed a few snacks for the hike." Embry says ushering me out the door to his car.

The drive to the place where the trail starts doesn't take very long, but the silence between us is deafening. The humm of the engine, the slight static of the radio and the constant drumming of the music so low I can't make it out, Embry's breathing it is all getting on my nerves—when did I become so irritable. I focus my attention on the green trees passing us by instead of the lack of meaningful noises around me. I find my eyes drifting closed, my head bobbing to stay awake on the short drive.

"We're here." Embry announces startling me out of one of my head bobs. "Didn't know you were so tired, we could have stayed home." Now he tells me I think and I instinctively roll my eyes at his comment climbing out of the car.

Embry slams his door and hoists a small backpack onto his shoulder and head around to my side of the car grinning. His hand quickly juts out grabbing mine, entwining his fingers with mine, and gently coaxing me away from my stance beside the vehicle. His hand hot against my already warm flesh, the sweat formed on my hands has to be apparent to Embry but he doesn't mention it. Hopefully he thinks I am just excited about the hike, not nervous for other reasons.

The trailhead is just off from the small parking lot, there are no signs or directions indicating that this is a common attraction, but rather just a locally used path. The trees seem to toward down on me, but I swiftly focus my attentions on their beauty rather than their ominous presence.

I crane my neck backwards casting my eyes to the heavens, the trees, taking in the shadows surrounding, the sunlight breaking through the scattered branches it is one of the things I love the most about walking in the forest—the view from the ground looking up. I lean most my weight against Embry allowing him to guide me down the trail, my foot steps small probably making walking slow and tedious for the large man beside me.

Taking in the smells of the forest as I breathe deeply brings a smile to my face, out of the corner of my eye I see that Embry is watching me intently. I take my eyes off the sky and look around us for the first time for several minutes, I was too caught up in taking in the smells, and the sky to realize what surrounds us. Everything is green, the moss on the living trees to the green on the decaying logs. It all looks so untouched, desolate of human carnage that is so abundant throughout most trails around my home town.

"You look so happy." Embry says breaking me out of my silent revelry.

"I just love being out here, walking through forests where so many others have tread, seeing trees that many eyes before me have witnessed growing or have seen in their infancy. It is all just so amazing." I tell him truthfully.

"I know what you mean; I have thought very similar thoughts as I have run through the ancient trees that surround us. You can't help but think about the past when you find out that the myths of your people ring true. I have imagined what the forests around here looked like back when the legends were no more than just weeks old, happening rather than being remembered…"Embry says his voice slow, deep and full of wonder as he tells me how his thoughts relate to mine.

I smile at him and wrap my arm around his waist as I lean into him more, maybe we are meant to be together after all. Maybe there is something to this imprinting magic that truly works, finding something more than just a good mate, but really finding who the wolves are meant to be with for other deeper reasons.

"What's that look for?" Embry questions and he leans his head down towards mine as we continue to walk.

"Nothing." I say trying to pull my emotions off my face, my face must have shown that I was thinking something that might allow me to find true happiness with Embry.

"Really?" He says with a grin but doesn't push me to answer any further.

We walk in silence as I watch the surrounding forest thin although we are going deeper into the forest. I wonder absently where we are going, where would Embry be wanting to take me? I don't think I could ask for more, walking beside Embry in such a beautiful place. It is just too much to take in.

"We are almost there." Embry finally breaks the comfortable silence that has been between us for 20 minutes.

"Good, I can't wait."

"Are you getting hungry yet? It is about 10:30 or so."

"Not really, no hurry." I say smiling at him.

"Close your eyes, I don't want you to see it until we are there."

"Don't let me fall, how do you know we are close?"

"I can smell it, I can hear it…try and guess where I am taking you. Use your ears and your sense of smell."

I have to walk slower now that my eyes are closed, my side fully pressed against Embry. His smell clouds out all the others of the forest and trees, but my hearing does not seem to have failed me. I hear the rushing water, the sound of the water flowing and cascading towards the ground, excitement floods me as I pull the pieces together. A waterfall, it has to be a waterfall, a small squeak escapes from my throat and I pull myself closer yet to Embry's side.

"You know you are so cute when you're excited, thirty more seconds and you can open your eyes." Embry tells me in a deep voice startling me a bit, but I manage not to jump at the sound of his voice.

We stop walking, the sounds of the waterfall are now loud, I can feel the mist rising and gently caressing my face, Embry positions me with him behind me, his arms surrounding my waist.

He whispers in my ear, "Okay you can look now."

I slowly open my eyes and what is before me is beyond what I imagined since I found out. Nothing in my life has ever been so thrilling. The water, the cliff, the rocks, it is everything that I would ever want a waterfall to be.

"It is wonderful." I whisper but I know he can hear me.

"I thought you would like it." His voice says in my ear, drawing my gaze away from the sight before me and towards him.

"I love it." I say wistfully, but I turned to quickly his face only inches from mine, drawing me into his presence, I don't hesitate to plant a kiss on his face, a kiss that I know he never expected. His lips stagnate and still for the first few seconds, but of course, he is more than eager to give me what I want for it is what he wants I am sure. The kiss doesn't last very long, it is over before it started but it was perfect for the moment.

"Do you want to have lunch now?" He asks looking at me with eyes full of lust, smirking slightly.

"Yeah." I say agreeing wanting to redirect his attentions for the moment.

Embry leads me over to a large rock closer to the water and pulls a small blanket from his backpack. It isn't much more than a fleece throw but it will offer some comfort. He motions for me to take a seat and joins me, his thigh resting close to mine. His backpack resting just in front of us slightly ajar.

"Wha'd you bring?"

He opens the bag and pulls of some beef jerky, various types of granola bars, trail mix, and several sandwiches. He lays everything out before us like a lunch buffet. He also pulls two water bottles from the bag, he opens both of them and hands me one while taking a long sip from his.

"Thirsty?" I laugh.

"You could say that. Eat up there is more left to explore here." He says glancing at the waterfall.

We eat in almost silence as we watch the water flow down the rocks before us. Once I have had my fill and Embry ate enough for a sufficient snack he packs up everything but leaves his backpack on the ground. He leads me over to the water's edge and towards the rushing water. My eyes widen and I clench onto his arm tightly as I realize that we are walking towards the heavy steam of crashing water.

He smirks at me but says nothing. We are now close enough that I could reach out and touch the falling water, but we are off to the side only up to our knees in the shallower water, not within the torrent that is splashing below the falls. If we were I would surely be swept under and drowned.

Embry pulls me tightly to his chest suddenly; his hot arms surround me as my feet lose their footings on the slippery rocks beneath us. Before I can ever work up enough strength to ask him what he is doing, I am back on my feet. I am no longer next to the falls but behind them standing in a slight cave overhanging. It is cold against my face, but I don't mind for Embry's hot arms still encapsulate me, warming me to the bone.

The sound of the crashing water is now that much louder but also kind of muffled. I stand there staring at the wall of water, Embry's arms around me what could be any better. What a perfect day.

**I will update soon thought i would stop here and give you something to read while i work on the rest of their excursion **


	59. Chapter 59

Larke's POV

With Embry's arms snuggly wrapped around me the heat is stifling with my large hoodie on, I wiggle a bit against him, and his arms loosen around me. I pull the offensive sweatshirt swiftly off my overheated body, the cool spray from the waterfall sends a chill through me, and instinctively I push backwards into Embry's warmth. I hear him chuckle as he wraps his arms back around me, his finger trailing along the hem of my tank top catching my skin just slightly.

"Hey." I say turning around in his arms. "Watch where you're putting those paws."

"Paws huh, are you trying to tell me you'd rather be with me as a wolf." He grins leaning forward placing his forehead against mine.

"Don't even go there." I smirk at him allowing my head to fall against his chest.

"Sure." He response absently, I wonder what he is thinking about, I probably don't want to know.

He takes a few steps backwards drawing me forward as he moves back until his rear is pressed firmly against the crumbly cliff wall. I look up at him hesitantly not sure why he moved us away from the falls. The ground here is dry as is the air for the most part.

"You know this is wonderful, being here…with you." I murmur softly.

"I'm glad you like it." He whispers trailing his thumb across the line of my cheek.

"Why wouldn't I?" I say smirking at him amused at his disbelief.

"You've just been acting odd, that's all had me worried a bit." He smiles leaning back against the craggy wall releasing me from his embrace, the cold closes in around me almost instantly, and I desperately try to ignore it. "Anything you want to tell me…" He looks away from me his face almost hardening, the emotions of anger, hurt, and betrayal lurch across his features.

"What do you mean?" I question him not understanding how any of my actions could have hurt him so badly.

"I'm not an idiot Larke, I see they way you look at him." His voice is quiet almost devoid of emotion.

"What?! Who?" I question having no idea what so ever he is talking about.

"Seth." He sneers in a way almost sounding like a growl.

"I don't know what your implying but you are dead wrong."

"Just because I'm not around doesn't mean I don't know what is going on." He lunges off the wall circling behind me so that I am trapped between him and the wall. "don't deny it I saw you in his thoughts." He says as he takes a step closer to me forcing my back into the cold cliffside.

"Embry, I see Seth as a kid, there is nothing for you to be jealous of." I say looking into the fierce eyes before me. Why did he have to bring this up now and ruin our day together? What set him off I wonder if I said something of if it has been bugging him for awhile? Is that why I haven't seen him lately?

His eyes seem to soften a bit and he closes them, his hands that were clenched at his sides swiftly move to occupy the rock wall on either sides of my head, his actions I admit are making me a bit nervous. I watch him hoping that he still has a brain cell left working through the irrational flares of jealousy that are blazing in his mind.

He opens his eyes they are darting taking in every detail of our current predicament, "I didn't mean to ruin today, it just came out." He says but his voice isn't calm collected or anywhere it needs to be at the moment.

"It's okay, I mean I'm sorry I guess." My voice is but a whisper as I speak the weak words unable to find anything to calm him.

Before I can say anything else his lips are crashing into mine, heated fearless and altogether beyond expression. When his lips leave mine, his fist smashes into the wall beside my head the sound of cracking rock causes me to whimper and cower into his other arm. His hand catches me roughly by the waist steadying me.

His voice is deep and from his throat, "You are mine!" He growls at me, his free hand trails down the side of my face leaving a cold trail of liquid, which I can only presume is his blood from the looks of his hand. I try and press myself further into the wall, but it has the opposite affect he just brings himself closer to me.

His chest firmly against mine, his breath hot against my face, and his now seemingly healed hand is leaving a hot trail down my upper arm. I chance a look at his face wanting to know what he is planning on doing, afraid of what I might find there. His face holds a sadistic smile, while his eyes hold a mixture of love and lust, his jaw is set strongly, no doubt his teeth are clenched.

"Do you want to be mine?" He asks as he trails his nose along my neck. I don't answer him, I am unable to speak, I just want this to end for Embry to come back to me. "Answer me, or I shall just take what I want." His voice is a little more rough and his hand on my waist tightens digging into my side.

"Yes." I whisper so quietly in a strangled voice hoping to appease the monster in front of me.

"Yes what?" He asks as I feel his free hand start to slide the strap of my shirt and bra down my shoulder, revealing an unobstructed view of the mark he left on me.

His eyes dart back to mine just before he grazes his tongue against each of the light pink marks on my shoulder, the very marks he left on me. "I'm waiting." He says almost teasingly.

"Yes, I want to be yours." I mutter with a voice that is tense and shrill laced with all the fear I am feeling.

I hear him chuckle a bit as his hand leaves my waist and proceeds to drag the straps down my other arm, baring both my shoulders to him now. He leans in toward my newly exposed shoulder, I am all too aware of his heavy breathing against my skin as he draws closer. Instead of the skin on my shoulder, he trails a line of wet kisses up towards me ear so gently I almost forget where I am and what he is doing. My body betrays me as I fight back a slight moan.

"I know you want me," He whispers in my ear, his voice deep sensual and husky, "I'm tired of waiting." He says menacingly and drags his tongue roughly from my chin to my eye leaving the all too familiar slimy coating on my skin. I turn my head away, not wanting to see the look in his eyes any more.

His hands are rough, my shirt is forced downward towards my hips and settling at my feet, his hands are beyond quick undoing the buttons of my jeans. My jeans and shoes are hastily discarded onto the damp floor. Standing in front of him now with only my undergarments still in place, I feel his eyes lustily looking over my body. I give him a pleading look, hoping that somewhere inside Embry will stop himself but my hope dies as he smirks at my displeasure.

"Don't you dare run." He growls after seeing me look around the small cave we are in.

I look at him again noticing his obvious excitement to the situation, instantly wondering what turns him on more, me or the fact that he is in charge. He approaches me again grabbing me roughly around the middle pulling me snuggly towards his body and tight against his hips. I hear a loud groan escape his lips as he lies me on the cold stony floor.

His lips lock on mine almost gentle now but his hands are anything but, as they grope and rip the remaining articles of clothing from my body, only stopping briefly to remove his. "Embry…please don't." I manage to speak finally finding my voice as I look at him now before me. My voice is just a whisper, as I look into his eyes searching for the man that I know is in there, but find him I don't.

**Okay hope you liked it Thanks for the Reviews glad you think Embry is so romantic still think that?? well hopefully you don't hate me for making him do what he did. Let me know. Already have in my head where the next chapter starts sorry if you wanted a more detailed scene but it's not happening... hope you EnJOYed**


	60. Chapter 60

Larke's POV

The tears won't stop, my breathing is impossibly ragged, as I sit here replaying the past couple hours in my head. My knees draw up inside my hooded sweatshirt, driving back the chill, my body sore, my heart feeling strangled, and everything I ever was scared of seems to not compare to the reality of what happened.

The small cave offers little comfort, the cold ground, the misting water, it is all somehow not as beautiful as it once was. Before me paces the monster, four legs, fur, and all, his toenails clack on the hard ground rhythmically drumming out an unfeasible melody, and every so often the eyes that are oh so human glance up at me where I sit.

I want nothing more than to be able to look into those eyes and allow myself to forgive him. I want to be able to stay true to what I told him and embrace the very words I spoke to him from my heart. My fears control me at the moment for my heart feels battered and bruised.

He had phased almost instantly once he had his fill of me, he looked at me at what he had done and the wolf exploded from his skin. I cowered away from the animal before me, although I felt better knowing that he was through. With his muzzle the wolf took a hold of my sweatshirt, which is causally had thrown on the ground, and brought it to me. I hesitantly took it from him, my hands were shaky, and every movement was a strain. I close my eyes willing away my thoughts hoping for something other than reality to sink in and take control.

Jake's POV

"You did WHAT!!" I shout at Embry in his mind. How could he have done that to Larke. Things were going so good between them and now, now he has all but shattered any trust he may have earned from her.

"I know I fucked up major this time, I can't believe I let my jealousy consume me." Embry shouts back at me, I am glad he is far away or I would literally kick his ass.

"You're jealous of Seth, God Embry how stupid are you?"

"Sorry it's just they are always together when I'm not around…"

"He is her roommate Embry what do you expect, him to ignore her."

"But she trusts him more than she does me…"

"So you go and do something like this."

"Not helping Jake."

"What is Larke doing now since you went wolf?"

"She's watching me pace, crying on the ground what am I suppose to do with her?"

"Well you can't just keep doing what you're doing, Embry. You are probably scaring her more, you should phase back."

"She doesn't want to see me right now after what I did."

"You could always just eat her like they do in the movies."

Embry growls at me in his head.

"Come on Jake, I literally raped her and your making jokes."

"You two talked about this happening so it's not like it was rape, I mean if she was scared of you she would have wanted to be alone with you right?"

"Yeah, but she has been acting kinda distant."

"I know Em, but it isn't some weird thing going on between her and Seth…if you would have only asked him about it, maybe none of this would have happened."

"Shit. I really screwed up, should I just leave, maybe you could send someone to come get her."

"Before I do that you need to phase back and see if that is what she wants. I'm not coming all the way out there only to find you two going at it again when I arrive."

"I doubt she will even talk to me, let alone be up for anything else."

I wait for an answer from Embry hoping that I do not have to face Embry at the moment, I seriously want to rip him apart right now. I find myself pacing through the forest clearing I am in, every thought bouncing through my head. Embry is damn lucky I was on patrol today, anyone else would have been down there at the waterfall ripping him apart already. Damn, that is the last thing Larke needs is to witness a werewolf on werewolf fight, if she isn't terrified already that would certainly send her running for the hills.

I calm myself by clearing my head and as the minutes pass by I am more confident that Embry was able to find a solution that didn't involve me or anyone else. I phase back once I reach the Clearwater's house, I'll wait for the drama to begin.

Larke's POV

It seems like hours have passed since the wolf started pacing back and forth across the ground, every so often growling a bit at unknown sources. My tears have stopped now but the pain is only magnified, not my physical pain but the mental anguish of it all. I am no longer a virgin and although Embry was far from gentle, I can't pull myself away from blaming myself for what happened. If I had only given in or told him the truth, our romp in the wood could have that much better.

I close my eyes feeling exhausted and beyond cold, wanting nothing more than to go home and get away from here, from Embry. I awake when I feel the heat, the warmth surrounding me, but I am repulsed by the thought of who has me in his arms. Could Embry be that daring that he would venture to pick me up and carry me back to the car?

I tentatively open my eyes, blurry at first I am unable to focus on the face that is mere inches from me, but the distinct features I key in on belong to none other than the so to be dead Embry Call. I flinch away from his warm chest the second I realize it is him.

"Relax, I'm just taking you back to the car." His calming voice says, damn him for using that against me.

"Put me down." I say swiftly adamantly as I try to push him away from me.

"No. Once I get you back home you never have to see me again if you don't want but right now I am carrying you back to the car." His hands tightened his hold on me, pulling me closer to his heated body. It repulses me to be near him, his touch sending waves of anger and nausea through me.

The click of the car door opening distracts me for the brief moment as he places me into the car. I swallow nervously and buckle my seat belt, hoping with all hope that we arrive back home quickly. I can't look at him as we drive down the road, I feel his eyes on me as I stare blankly out the window, willing my mind into itself, into a world of make believe where everyone I know is human.

**Okay here is the next chapter hope you Enjoyed...Thanks for all the reviews glad to know what your thinking sorry all if you hate Embry right now but you should he was an ass...well like so many of you i wouldn't mind a crazy werewolf like Embry following me around ; ) Anyway thanks for reading i'm gonna try and get the next chapter up soon but no garentees about what my brain is going to let me do but it will be up shortly haven't ever left you hanging tooo long**


	61. Chapter 61

**Okay i know im slow at updating but my brain is just not working at the moment thanks for the reviews hope you EnJoy...**

Larke's POV

The instant I arrived at the Clearwater's house the door to my right is opened and I am avoiding the eyes of none other than Jake only to have my eyes fall into the troubled eyes of Leah. No words were spoken as Jake carries me into the house, Leah seems to trail helplessly at our side, probably unsure of what to do. I feel beyond detached from the whole situation, like it never really occurred, which I could believe if I didn't feel the ache between my legs from Embry's actions. I close my eyes at the thought and wince at the bittersweet memories that come flooding back to me.

Leah and Jake help me up the stairs, no doubt that they know what happened, of course the torturous hours of the pacing wolf almost solidified that fact. Embry didn't follow us into the house, for all I know he is still sitting in his car. Leah deposits me in my room and I hear her say she would start a bath for me before she gives me one more look and leaves me to myself. I look in the mirror, I gasp at my appearance, my face is pale, my eyes puffy and rimed in red, but what is the most shocking is the crimson streak down the side of my face—Embry's blood.

"Come, on Larke." Leah says drawing me away from the mirror and into the bathroom down the hall.

I don't stop her as she helps me out of my sweatshirt and into the tub, the warm water and bubbles seem to have an instant effect on me calming my nerves and dulling my emotions. Leah makes no move to leave but instead sits on the floor next to the sink letting out a loud deep breath.

"What do you want us to do?" Leah asks with a troubled voice, obviously the question is a hard one for her to ask and remain calm.

"What do you mean?" I mumble sinking lower into the water, now only my face peaks out over the bubbles.

"I mean, we are all aware of the circumstances, we know you knew this might happen Larke, and I guess I want to know, we all need to know what you are going to do…"

"I don't know, I don't want to think about it Leah." I say as my emotions betray me again and start the rattled sobs. "I…just need…time to think this through." I pause not wanting to reveal what my intentions are, not wanting anyone to know in fear; they will try and stop me.

"Okay." She says with a weak smile before she stands and exits the room, leaving me alone.

I soak in the tub drowning away my fears and anxiety until my water is too cold to stand. I dread the next actions, I fear what I must do, but deep down I know it has to be for the best.

I head to my room and snuggle into my bed contemplating my plans, my actions that may ultimately be the end of everything, the final straw so to say. The house is very still, it is beyond quiet I think just before I drift off to sleep.

Jake's POV

I leave Leah and Larke upstairs and head down to find Embry, the damn moron is still sitting in his car, engine still running, hands clenching the steering wheel, and a blank look etched across his face. I open the passenger side door and climb in ready to tell him off for my anger is running ridiculously hot right now, but I can't do it when I see the tears running down his face.

"Just drive." I say tersely pushing back my emotions.

His foot leaves the break and hits the gas too hard pealing us out on the dirt drive and onto the road before us. His knuckles relax the slightest bit, but before he looks at me out of the corner of his eye to judge my demeanor. Am I his best friend there for him to confide in or am I a pack leader with the authority exuding from my pores, of which his preference I am unsure.

"Have I lost her?" He asks with a voice I haven't heard in quite awhile, deflated and toneless as if he has given up hope.

"I don't know Leah is talking to her I think, what the hell happened out there to set you off?"

"I don't know it was like I could feel her tense around me, and the only explanation that was ringing in my head was that she isn't tense around Seth. She is so carefree and she has been hanging around with Seth so much lately. I guess I was jealous…"

"You have every right to be jealous but you have to control yourself damn it, none of us in the pack are trying to take her from you, I've told you this before when you accused me of trying to steal her from you before. The only one who is going to drive her from you is yourself."

"Turn here." I say indicating with one simple command where we were indeed heading if Embry didn't know already. With a shaky hand, he slows the car and turns the car towards Sam's house.

The second we walk into the house Sam's face pales when he takes in Embry's appearance, and I know he has figured out what happened, Emily swiftly takes the baby from his arms and heads into the back room to give us space to talk.

"Take a seat." Sam says as he places himself at the table collecting his emotions under his calm mask.

"I couldn't stop…" Embry explains not taking his eyes off the table.

"How is she taking it? I mean you have discussed this with her, but talk is one thing and actions are another."

"I don't know, she wouldn't talk to me or look at me…I think I pushed her too far."

There is a silence between the three of us as we take in Embry's words, a silence that could shatter your eardrums and pierce the very existence that hold you together and in Embry's case it could be just that. Larke the very girl that is holding him to the earth, binding him here could very well want to walk out of his life, have nothing more to do with him. Emotionally I am tore, could I really want Larke to have to deal with my crazy best friend for the rest of her life, but to see Embry torn apart from his soul would not only be devastating but also would be another sullied representation of imprinting something that is suppose to be a wondrous event. Imprinting cannot only tear apart lives of those around you but can also tear apart the wolf himself.


	62. Chapter 62

**Thanks for all the reviews love them...don't know when i will update again busy week but i hope i will find some time to write hate to leave my story hanging even ifonly for a couple days...Enjoy...**

Larke's pov

Today is the day that I dreaded all night as I tossed and turned in a demented form of sleep. The absence of the sun furthers my darkened mood only pushing me towards what I know I must do, what I know I can't do alone. I know who to call but I am not feeling as though I will be able to, the hurt so great at the very thought. Every thought is beyond my rational mind, everything I am is so fragile at the moment that every decision could tear me into a million pieces. My thoughts are my own and that is the only comfort I can take at the moment as I open my notebook to write what I must to the wolf that haunts my every thought.

Everything I have to say sounds so much better in my head than on the tear stained white paper before me. Every word rips my heart out only to feel it once again forced back into my chest as my explanation lengthens. It is only now that I realize, as I write them down, what my mind and body are telling me, have told me countless times before, that it is so much more than I perceive it to be. So much stronger and much less distant, the connection between me and him could it be severed, could he release me if I was gone. I fear that my actions will hurt him much more than I intend, but that is why he must know my thoughts…that is why this letter to him is so important.

I finalize the details in my head and dress before placing the letter securely in an envelop. Writing his name across the front of it in blue marker has my hands shaking, my anxiety and fear showing through. He has to understand to be able to let me go, I sigh as I pin the letter to my door before I softly close it behind me. Nothing is going to stop me, I repeat in my head over and over until I truly believe it myself. Positive thoughts, I roll my eyes at the condescending nature of the very idea at this moment in my life.

Her number is in the caller id of the house's phone so I have no problem contacting her, hoping with all hope that she will be a willing participant in my plan. I just need to get out of here to find some peace, to collect my thoughts and confirm what I know I feel. I need the distance, I need the familiar, and for the first time in my life I feel like I need to go home, to Ohio. Thinking of the cornfield and the fresh smell of dry air of the summer is somehow beyond reason comforting me.

"Hello, Kim its me Larke." I say tentatively into the phone.

"Hi, what's up?" She replies her voice soft and shy. I had never called her before, but we had talked and gotten along as we cooked for the guys.

"I was wondering if we could hang out for a bit, I was wondering if you would take me somewhere."

"Sure, it would be great to spend some girl time with you." Great I think she isn't going to ask where I want to go, it will be easier once we are in the car.

"Great."

"I'll be over in a few minutes, meet me out front?"

"Sure." I let out a exasperated sigh as I click the off button on the phone.

I sit on the steps out in front of the house, my knee bouncing nervously fully indicating that I am nervous as hell. The last time I even tried to leave Embry saw me and attacked me, and forced me to stay. I can hear his desperate and forceful voice echoing in my head now as I sit here waiting for the unsuspecting Kim. I knew Jared was at work, so he wouldn't have heard the phone call earlier. I was safe in that aspect since he wouldn't be around to notify any of the other wolves that I was leaving town with Kim.

As she pulls the small car towards the house I get up and run towards here hoping to leave La Push as fast as possible avoiding any wolfy eyes. I slam the door a bit too hard startling Kim a bit, though I hope she is still an ignorant participant in my plot.

"So where are we off to?" She questions with a smile.

"Could we go to Port Angeles?" I ask giving her a warming smile.

"Sure, you want to go shopping?"

"Yeah, need some time away from La Push, you know get my mind off of things for a while."

The car ride started off quiet but we fell into random talk about what clothes styles were stupid looking and what we couldn't stand about what was in stores right now. We both agreed that leggings were beyond annoying and that if is trendy to wear them under skimpy dresses that looked like shirts it is a fashion trend we both could do without. I must admit it feels good to be hanging out with her, ignoring the real reason I was headed to Port Angeles—to find a bus that heads east so I could find my way back to Ohio and away from Embry.

The ring tone was beyond hilarious as I heard Kim's cell phone ring out above our conversation. It was a wolf howl the kind that go 'ow ow owwwwww' in a kind of cute way, not the long harmonious ones that can sound mournful.

"Hold on, it might be Jared." She says grabbing her phone and flipping it open. "Hello."

I hear the voice on the other end barely, it is more of a bunch of grabbled together mumbles and consonant sounds.

"Damn it, I'm on my way, tell him I'll be there soon." Kim's voice cracks and breaks as she forces the words out. She swiftly turns the wheel veering it off into the center median of the highway and flips a fast U turn and heads us back towards La Push. My eyes widen and my breath hitches as I realize the calm and collected Kim just about rolled her car in a desperate move to turn around.

"What's wrong?" I softly mumble not sure of her current state. Could something have happened to Jared? Did Embry discover my note and realize who I was with?

"Jared's hurt." She says through the now apparent sobs reeking havoc on her small frame. The tears running steadily down her cheeks and her body is shaking ever so slightly as her grip tightens on the steering wheel. "He's gonna be okay."

"It'll be okay." I say placing my hand on her shoulder for comfort, my plans and my intentions not so important right now since someone I know is hurt.

"He was attacked…'sob'…not sure…'sob'…out looking now…Jake said he'd call when he finished it."

"Pull over Kim, let me drive…you are going to crash." I say looking at her sobbing hysterically. She follows my suggestion and 30 seconds later I am the one speeding us back towards La Push.


	63. Chapter 63

**Okay sorry for the delay had family visitin had to communicate with them and they love to talk but i thought i would let you have what i finished this morning hope you enjoy Thanks for all The reveiews i will try and update before Wed. cause i am going campin and there is no internet in the woods but i will bring my laptop so hopefully by sunday night you will have a long update....:) **

Larke's POV

The drive back to La Push was swifter and full of tension as Kim tried to hold herself together. I blocked it all out focusing solely on the road and where I needed to have the steering wheel. Dread creeping into the pit of my stomach, my mouth drying out, and everything I have felt in the past 24 hours has me feeling as if I could be sick. I hope with all I have that either I do not see Embry or that he has not read my note yet. Awkward would barely even cover the mortification I would experience if I had to face him after pouring my heart out to him and telling him I was leaving. I don't think I could face any of them once they found out what I was attempting to do today with Kim as my unknowledgeable accomplice.

Jared is hurt the rest of the pack probably out hunting the creep of a vampire that did it to him, who else would attack a werewolf. Why didn't anyone tell me there were vampires actually around here? Are they always here like the animals in the forest or do they have a home range where they migrate around searching for prey? There is so much I don't know about this crap, I never thought to ask before. I just assumed that Embry and the others would take care of it all and I would never have to experience anything vampire-ish. Hurt…does that mean that the rest of them could be getting hurt right now, at this very second Embry could be fighting for his life.

My eyes close involuntarily at that thought and as I feel the car swerve, they flash open just before I veer off the road. Kim screeches as I over correct and shakily steady the car back in my lane on the road. My breathing is heavy as I realize I just about crashed Kim's car doing 85 down the highway.

"Shit Larke what the hell!" Kim swears at me as she grips the arm rest for dear life.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to…It's just that…nevermind." I stammer at a loss of how to explain my actions to her without giving away any intimate details of my messed up life.

"Where are we going?" I ask breaking the silence that had developed after my near accident. The lonely road heading into town rolls on before us and I peer out of my eye towards her nervously awaiting her response.

"Sam's." She says adamantly.

I take a deep breath preparing myself to see everyone again.

"Do they know I'm with you?" I ask hesitantly unsure of how much Jacob said on the phone.

"No, why? I'm sure it won't matter if you come, you know everyone loves you, Larke." Kim says reassuringly sensing my apprehension, though I doubt she could even understand the real reasons for my worries.

"Yeah." I say dismissively as I pull up to Sam's house not at all surprised that there weren't a lot of cars in the drive, wolves run not drive.

Kim pushes open her door immediately and rushes up the walk to the front door. She doesn't bother closing the front door as she rushes inside, leaving me in her car to feel the weight pull me down as I try and free myself from the metal box with wheels. My feet are heavy as I stride up to the screen door. I force myself forward and into the house. I am met with the smell of bandages and peroxide, which makes my nose twitch a bit.

I am surprised that the house is nearly empty, I see Jared on the couch with Kim now by his side, Emily with the baby on the living room floor and Brady pacing in the kitchen.

Both Emily and Brady's head pop up and look at me as the screen door slams behind me.

"Oh Thank God, Larke!" Emily bellows in relief as she takes in my presence, her hands clutching to her chest as she lets out a deep breath.

Brady just continues to look at me, his eyes almost boring into mine, his pacing stopped in mid-step and a slight grimace on his face. Now I feel uncomfortable, both of them looking at me, I can't take it so I hastily make my way into the living room and slouch into a chair in the corner. I have not desire to engage in conversation and I have no desire to feel the eyes of the wolf in the kitchen.

"I'll be right back inside, Em." Brady says as he scrambles out the front door.

Great I think to myself Brady will be informing the rest of the pack that I am here and I will surely have to face more of them. Do they know? Has Embry been to the house or did someone bring him my letter? I have no doubt in my mind that he has read it, the looks Emily and Brady gave me secured that thought in my head. I will just sit here and ignore my surroundings until the vampire is dead and then I will run away from this place if I have to steal Leah's car to do so.

"They're finished; they will be here shortly…" Brady says rushing into the living room.

"Any more?" Emily asks slightly panicked, any more what I wonder.

"A couple no details just felt the pain." Brady says flinching.

"Okay, take Jared back to one of the rooms before they get here. I don't want them bleeding all over the house if I can help it." Emily says, all the panic gone and her voice as commanding as I have ever heard it. Wow is all I can think, her husband could very well be hurt and all she is shouting about is blood on the carpet like this is a common occurrence. As far as I know it is a common occurrence, I really haven't been here long enough to know.

Kim is up instantly helping Brady haul Jared towards the back of the house, and as he exits the room I am filled with the same dread I had before. Dreading seeing him, wondering what could have been going through his head from the time he found my note to the time Brady informed him I was here.

The noise was beyond loud as the guys stampeded through the front door. The screen door slammed open and suddenly the living room was completely filled the term standing room only wouldn't even compete with the lack of room to move in the small room. Everyone was huddled around the couch, where the two injured wolves were placed. Emily shouted out orders for everyone to back away and instantly the room cleared leaving a view of the two on the sofa.

I am a bit relived as I notice that Embry is not among the injured, but see Leah and Paul are the two under Emily's care. Many of the pack retreated to the kitchen I see as I tear my eyes from my injured friend. I rack my eyes around the room sinking further into the chair hoping beyond reason that I could go unnoticed. I flinch and dart my eyes back to his as I see him, leaning against the hall archway watching me. Not just looking at me but taking me in, his eyes full of pain and hurt, more than I have ever seen within them. He look haunted, beyond comparison to anything I have ever laid my eyes upon before. His shoulder hunched against the wall and as I stare at him I know that I am the cause of his pain.

He looks down and his eyes darken just before he turns away from me and head into the back of the house. I don't hear the back door open or close so he hasn't left the house but from my sight he has disappeared. There is no doubt in my mind that Embry read my note and he took it hard knowing I wanted to leave him here and head back to a place I despise.


	64. Chapter 64

 **Yeeee i updated again Love all your reviews hope you enjoy you get Jake again cause he thought it would be fun to write inform you all what was happening. hahaha ENJOY...**

Jake's POV

Reckless isn't even the word to describe Embry's behavior during the fight, he was just plain dumb if you ask me. I don't care how badly he didn't want to fight those two vampires he didn't need to endanger the rest of us in the process. Just before Jared found the trail and sent up a howl to call us all, Leah and I had found the note on Larke's door. Stupid me hoping she was forgiving him rushed it over to his depressed ass as soon as I could. I left to give him so privacy but I found out soon enough that I shouldn't have left him there to read that letter alone. I saw it all later as we ran into the forest towards Jared's call for help, without Sam's order he wouldn't even be responding to the cry for help.

Embry's finger smoothed across the envelop looking intently at the seal, the very seal that her lips were against just before closure, he slides his fingers under the crisp paper and slowly tears the letter open. Anticipation rises within him, as he unfolds the letter and takes notice of the small smudged blotches indicating that she was crying when she wrote it. 

Embry,

When this reaches this or you find it on my door I will be gone. There is nothing that I personally need more than some much needed space and to do that I feel I must return home to Ohio. It hurts me to be around you, everything I have ever saw in you is somehow shattered beyond repair, it is like humpty dumpty and the kings men—the pieces might never fit together again. I know you told me I never had to see you again, but I know deep inside you, your inner most thoughts are that you would never let that happen. 

I am sneaking away for that very reason, I don't want you stopping me. I don't want you coming after me. Everything in life happens for a reason and I guess my reason for leaving is just that I can't look at you without seeing the other you. As much of a thrill it is to be with you on the edge of your control it is that very line that when you cross it you lose me. I can't be the girl you need, the girl that wants a man to hold her against trees and walls, a girl that doesn't scare easy, or even a girl that can deal with you being a crazy wolf one second and the loveable endearing guy I know you are inside the next. 

You scare me and I thought I could handle it, I wanted to be able to handle it. I told you I would be okay with it, but from every angle, I am not okay. I dreamt about you losing control and taking me, it terrified me and made me question reality, it made me question who I am and what you are. 

I am going to ask you to not follow me if you want me happy. I am going to plead with you to leave me alone but before you stop reading this letter I just want you to know that I do love you and that I will always love you and coming from me that is huge for I have never loved anyone. It will hurt me to leave you, and I hope you keep yourself safe, for if I ever feel like I need you I want to be able to look up at the stars and know that you have also glanced to the sky recently. I know that is selfish but I hope you can find comfort in the fact that I will always think of you when looking into the inky night sky. 

I love you, 

Larke

The emotions that ran through Embry I have honestly never felt, but then again no one's imprint had ever written a letter with the sole intent of leaving and shattering the wolf's heart. Embry crashed into the wall of his house and with a dramatic crack; he was outside with the fur and all and that is when I knew it wasn't a letter of forgiveness.

Timing wasn't on our side for just as Jared was about to block an attack Embry initially phased distracting him for a split second. The rest was a blur of emotions and pain, as we all became one mind and sprinted towards the fight. I vaguely heard Sam ordering Embry to join us and that was when I noticed he wasn't by my side anymore.

The fight was in full swing when I arrived, I blame it on me being distracted. There were two, mates I believe stealthy ones at that, bout near out smarted us all. I surveyed the scene noticing that Jared was out cold, three of us protecting his prone form. Not good at all, I dragged him away from the fight ordering Leah, Paul, and Quill to get in there and help while I took Jared out of the brawl. I dragged him far enough away that I could phase and carry his injured as back to Emily's house. Brady was there acting as the link between us and the rest of La Push—most importantly Emily.

I deposited Jared on the sofa and looked around for Kim, Emily always called her when ever there was trouble.

"Where's Kim?" I grunted to her hoping Jared didn't retain his hearing.

"No answer." Emily replied while assessing Jared's condition.

"Shit," I said grabbing the phone and dialing her cell.

I told her Jared was hurt and to get back here not bothering to give her details or wait too long for questions, I just hung up and headed back out to the raging fight. The second I phased I knew they were on the run, the vampire I mean one was already ripped apart. I missed most of the action, but sprinted forward coming around to head off the bloodsucker. Seconds after I blocked the damn things escape route Seth flew through the air and tackled the leech to the ground ripping its neck away as if it was a doll. Give one up for Seth for his form I thought briefly as the rest of the pack rounded on the incapacitated leech. I noticed Paul, Leah, and Collin were missing, just as Sam informed me of their injuries. Briefly my thoughts were unguarded and I know everyone felt that my concern for Leah was great, but it only took me 30 seconds at the most to collect myself enough to block my thoughts from them. Pointless I know, since they already knew. Gathering the pieces of the evil creatures, we proceeded to finish the job and light them on fire.

As we were patting ourselves on the back taking in the sweet fragrance of victory Brady has to pop into our heads with news. Apparently, Larke is at Sam's house with Kim and is not across the country hiding from Embry. A mournful howl erupts from my friend's throat just before we all take off after him back towards Emily's. Paul and Leah's injuries are not severe enough to stop them, that is until they phase back to human form. When they do it isn't pretty, it is beyond painful for both of them. The gashes that were previously on Paul's hind legs now look as though they are about to the bone. Leah on the other hand looks a bit disoriented and looks as if she dislocated her shoulder. My concern this time is well burried within my human head, no need to hold back my concerns for the woman I have grown so close to. I personally help her inside feeling calmer knowing she is in my arms, knowing she will be healed very soon.

All of us cluster into the living room just to have Emily bark at us to leave. Cranky, cranky is all I have to say to that woman after a battle, ordering us all around as if she is the damn Alpha.

Larke's POV

I saw his eyes first, peering deeply into my soul and the thought of him looking at me like that again scared me to death.


	65. Chapter 65

**Okay here is the next chapter hope you all didn't die of suspense wrote the first part while i was "camping" we had electricity so it really wasn't camping but oh well ENJOY not sure how many more chapters this story will have might be coming to an end in a few more don't quite know yet**

Larke's POV

I saw his eyes first, peering deeply into my soul and the thought of him looking at me like that again scared me to death. His dark eyes no longer held the pain I had seen earlier, but instead his eyes look devoid of all emotion, rough and coarse yet a sense of determination is ever threatening to surface. He is watching me now almost as if he is waiting for something to happen, or trying to figure out what to do.

I watch him back and I know my eyes widen as I take in his stoic presence. As I watch him his expression does not change, it stays a grim straight lined mask that borders on an angry sneer. His muscles flex rippling across his bare chest as he slowly raises his hand and consequently his arm. His index finger slowly beckons me to come towards him, his body language tells me that I shouldn't as well as everything in my entire being says stay away.

I don't want to respond to him, I don't want to be effected by his slight action, but somehow knowing that he still wants to see me and talk to me stirs something deep inside me. He is the first man I have ever loved and I don't want to admit it that while they were out there fighting monsters I was terrified of losing him. Of losing him, am I out of my mind only hours ago I was leaving him with no more than a damn letter, breaking his heart into the two very distinct parts in which his mind has already become.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath and exhale as I stand up, willing myself almost to the point of self-coercion to see what he could possibly want. I figure I owe him that, I know I have hurt him, hell, he has hurt me, but what harm could it do to allow him a conversation. I'm safe here in Sam's house if need be Sam could order Embry to behave if he starts acting like a sex crazed wolf again. Who am I kidding? They would probably watch it's not like they haven't seen each other with girls before. Now I think I'm letting my imagination run wild and I inwardly roll my eyes at myself, happy no one will ever know my thoughts. Just because they are wolves doesn't make them all perverted animals.

My feet almost drag the carpet, feeling large and heavy, but nothing causes me to stumble and nothing upholds my path. I come to an unsteady halt a foot from him, my eyes the whole walk had been on the ground, my mind unable to rouse enough courage to meet his dark orbs. My eyes stay downcast for another moment until I feel his gaze upon me, I muster up the strength and trail my line of sight slowly up his tense body. My eyes deceive me and linger on his chest taking in the sight before me, I feel heat rush to my face as I realize that despite his aggressive actions I am thinking about that day, that feeling he ignited within me. Just as I tear my gaze away from his muscled chest I divert it quickly away from his face suddenly not ready to look at him after my less than innocent thoughts.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see him fight a smirk, the corners of his mouth twitching as he takes in my obvious reaction to his half-naked form. Now that I know what lies under the rest of his clothes I am suddenly well aware that he has more than seen what is under mine. I shake the thoughts from my head with a quick snap of my neck as I force myself again to focus on what he wants to say, I need to know before I can leave and find another way out of this damn town.

Before my eyes meet his I hear his rough and commanding voice break through my thoughts, "Follow me," he commands as he turns his back to me walking down the hallway.

As if my feet are on autopilot I follow, nothing could have stopped my feet from following the man before me, not fear, anger, or even sadness. My body responding without analyzing my actions is beyond absurd for me. I have never reacted without thinking through my options, but as much as my mind tells me not to my feet shadow his movements, I am unable to halt my legs from following.

The cool wind from outside licks at my face allowing me to realize that he has opened the back door and is at this very moment walking through it expecting me to follow. I should stop my brain beckons, my safety lies in this house, I am scared of this man, my mind tries to convince me to stay. The other side of my brain coyly states that he won't flip out on you again that his control has to be better since he so recently wolfed out on me, he just wants some privacy, trust him, I hear in my head. It is all so confusing, contradicting and beyond me.

Pros and cons be damned I proceed to follow him out the backdoor not faltering once until I realize that just outside isn't quite what he had in mind. The forest is calling him, the trees calm him I know that, but the trees at the moment do not calm me, in fact my heart is racing, my breathing shallow as my mind races through thoughts of inconspicuous fear mixed with flashes of the intimate details of Embry's body against mine.

No, I stop my thoughts once again, I refuse to think about being close to Embry. I refuse to allow myself to go there.

My steps falter and I hesitate as I take in his intended path, am I ready to face the forest, am I ready to face Embry. Can I really face the forest, Embry, and the seclusion? He must hear my heart franticly beating and my feet stumbling against he ground, yet he doesn't stop his slow and steady progress towards the looming trees before us. I only hope he doesn't wish to drag me deep into his world so that I can't escape him again, I tell myself I won't follow if I suspect it, but I can't confidently believe my internal rant.

Do I really trust him enough to follow him without question? I must or I wouldn't be out here nearing the dreaded trees.

He stops just inside the first line of trees with his back still to me, but my pace doesn't change and my heart just beats faster as I continue to decrease the distance between us. I wonder if he realizes the amount of trust I am putting in him at this moment, what I am internally risking allowing myself to once again be open and vulnerable to him.

When I am a couple feet from reaching his towering form he extends his hand backwards slowly offering it to me, I wonder silently what is going through his mind for what is going through mine is nothing less than panic. I grasp his hand without acknowledging the questions and warnings flying into my brain at this very second. His fingers dominantly twine into mine and the feeling of his skin against mine doesn't seem to repulse me as I thought it would.

Without turning around he gently, leads me into the forest, the green surrounds as the shadows loom over us. Us, as in me and him, alone in the forest, not safe inside Sam's house, not in the presence of someone else but in all aspects I am at the mercy of Embry's sanity.

What the hell is wrong with me? My brain screams at me, I blindly am following him into the woods, away from my friends, away from civilization, and straight into den of the wolf so to speak. I take a deep breath and try to focus on where we are headed hoping to vaguely familiarize myself with my surroundings in case I need to get away from him. All I can manage is that we are not following a trail but are headed straight into the trees and we only change course if the trunk of a tree manages to deter our path.

For what seems like hours but is only minutes, he leads me until a small clearing appears before us. His hand slips from mine in one swift movement. His back remains to me as he strides a few feet away leaving me on the edge of the clearing. I watch him for a few moments silently wondering what he is thinking, what he is planning on doing, and what if anything will I regret?

He doesn't turn around as he speaks, "You followed me." Three simple words, but in the situation it is those words that hold so much significance. He knows, he must know that he some how has my complete trust. "Despite everything you have said, that I have done…you follow me not only outside but into the forest."

He turns around slowly his hands in his pockets and his shoulders hunched just a bit to accommodate the length of his arms. I don't hesitate this time to look him in the eye, I had been dying to look into them since before we left the house. My eyes never make it to his, for on his check I catch the sun glinting off a single teardrop as it trails down his face. Instinctively my eyes close, I try and remove the image from my mind, I force away all the emotions that leap to the surface at the sight of him crying.

I feel my knees buckle underneath me as I collapse on the ground, I feel the cold and the moisture first, but nothing would prepare me for the warmth. His arms encase me only seconds after the cold grass surrounded my fallen form. The heat, the comfort, and the tenderness of his touch, it is all too much to handle, that is until I hear the concern in his voice.

"Larke, are you okay?" He exclaims.

My voice completely lost to the shock of the whole situation, my eyes flash open in an instant but my mind can only focus on the feel of his arms surrounding me, not on his questions or pleads for me to speak to him. I can only stare into his eyes as I wait for my brain to catch up to my body.

The last thing I hear is Embry swearing before I feel the wind pick up as he jostles me closer to his chest. I can't take my eyes off his face as the look of concern breaks into fear and urgency and before I know it I am being placed onto a couch. Embry backs away from me quickly but my eyes follow his departure around the room and I notice that once again I am back in Emily's living room.

"What happened?" I hear voices shout and then all at once everyone in the tiny room is talking, shouting, and hovering. Accusations and curses fly at Embry as others fuss of my well-being trying to comfort and calm me.

Everyone crowds the room hindering my view of Embry, and just like that my mind clears and I can't take it anymore, "STOP!" I shout at the top of my lungs and just like that the room is silent and everyone freezes.

I slowly sit up on the couch craning my neck to see past the few people in front of me searching for Embry. I don't see him but I can barely see anyone.

"Embry." I say softly and everyone slowly drifts away suddenly finding other places to be and other things to do. As the crowd clears, I notice that the reason I couldn't see Embry was that Jake, Sam, and Quil had all backed him into a corner of the room, questioning him no doubt. He has already pushed their patience beyond the breaking point.

He moves quickly to my side reaching me just as Sam leaves the room, thus giving us some privacy. He kneels down beside the couch next to me and just continues to watch me as if he is waiting for me to make the first move. I can't find the words, my mouth feels suddenly dry, and everything I can think of to say sounds ridiculous In my head. I decide to do the only thing I can think of that might let Embry know what is going on in my demented head. My arms are around his neck in less than a second and I squeeze him with all my might like a little kid hoping to send enough through my hug to him to make up for my lack of vocabulary. He hesitates briefly but I feel his arms snake around me and pull the rest of my body against him.

I know I shouldn't want it, I know I shouldn't need it but my body seems to crave him. Somehow, I want to be near him, but I am not ready to forgive him for his actions, as much as I want to be ready to accept that it isn't his fault entirely I can't, I am just not ready. We desperately need to talk but now doesn't seem like the moment, and as I release my arms from around him I feel like he doesn't want to let me go. He allows me to pull away and the look on his face says it all, he thinks I am saying goodbye. After all this he would let me go, would he really?


	66. Chapter 66

Larke's POV

"So I guess this is goodbye." Embry whispers and his voice breaks as he forces himself to swallow to control his emotions. His large neck sends vibrations across mine just before I realize that I must say something, anything to reassure him that as of right now, at this very moment I was not leaving.

"Not yet." My voice his haggard and raspy but I manage to sputter the two words. His eyes brighten for a second but seem to hang on the word yet like it was a curse word. Damn, I don't even know if there will ever be a yet but I don't know that there won't be, that is until we talk about it all.

"Do you want me to leave you alone?" He asks casting his eyes down and away from me. His behavior is a complete 180 from the Embry that led him into the woods; this Embry wouldn't command me to do anything. My mouth wanted to smirk at the complexity of the man before me, and if I wanted him, he could be mine the dominant wolf and the timid man. Want, what do I want?

"Could you maybe walk me home before you go?" I ask knowing fully that he would trip all over himself to walk me home.

"Sure, anything you want. Are you sure you can walk I mean after what happened? What did happen anyway?"

"Uh…I think I just fainted or something," I say standing up. "I don't really remember." I lie.

"Okay." He says offering me his hand and leading me into the over crowded kitchen.

There is no doubt that everyone heard our conversation no mater how muted our tones were. The looks they give me range from complete understanding to that of shock, but I don't expect them all to understand, hell, I don't. Leah catches my eye letting me know more with one look than I wanted to know. Her look was somber as it drifted from me to Embry and back to me. I give her a half smile only quirking the edge of my mouth up slightly as I continue out the front door behind Embry.

The wind washes over me once again and I realize that the day has passed us by rather quickly, the sky was already darkening making me wonder where the day went. My feet took slow steps wanting to drag out the walk back to Leah's house. I am trailing a bit behind Embry whose long legs awkwardly try and match my slow pace.

There are so many things I want to say but it is too soon for my mouth to want to say them. I chance a glance at Embry and his face is scrunched up a bit and I conclude he must be thinking too. Part of my brain wants nothing more than to exclaim I love you and embrace him in a full on kiss, but it just ain't gonna happen that way. The more rational side of my brain implores that I have to let everything be out in the open, the truth—stop hiding. Not now, all I want to do now is curl up in my bed and sleep the rest of the day away, well maybe I should eat something first.

We near the house and my brain goes into overdrive with questions, 'is he gonna come in', 'do I stop him from coming in', 'what do I do if he asks', and 'do I want him to come in'. The questions don't stop but rather become an all consuming burden as my feet beside his take the final steps up to the house. My hand grasps the doorknob, cold metal beneath my hand, it is easy to turn physically, but mentally it takes all my strength. Once it is open I will know his intentions, I will know the answers to several of my questions.

My feet want to hesitate but I don't even stumble through the threshold of he house. I notice Embry's hand taking the door from me and following me into the entryway. How could I even expect him not to come in, he lives here practically why would that change now. The door shuts with a slight thud and I hear his footfalls following me towards the kitchen. I tense my shoulders as I try not to react to him being here, I didn't care before when I followed him into the forest, but now I feel vulnerable, my confidence is gone.

"Are you hungry?" I ask him as I finally reach the fridge.

"You don't have to…" He starts but I interrupt him.

"Don't be ridiculous it is just as easy for me to cook something for myself as it is for me to cook for both of us." I say grabbing the ingredients for tacos out of the fridge. I need some comfort food, something to calm my nerves and allow me to relax so I can even think about facing the conversation I must have with Embry.

"I'm hardly easy to cook for…" Embry replies.

"Don't push it, I don't want to argue you are eating tacos, I don't give a shit if you are or aren't hungry."

"Okay, okay I'll eat, I'll let you cook food for me, just don't get mad at me." Embry says holding his hands up in mock surrender and I roll my eyes at his efforts to lighten the mood.

"Mad?" I ask before I can stop myself, have I ever truly been mad at him. Hurt, disappointed, scared, but I don't know about mad, not entirely anyway.

"Yeah mad, you know when you hate my guts for things I do, that kind of thing." He says as he traces the wood grains on the counter top with his finger.

"I'm not mad, I just need to cook, eat, and then sleep…okay." I say as I toss some diced onion into the browning meat.

"Cook. Eat. Sleep…Right and where do I fit into this equation?"

"Well, I think you will sit there until I throw your food on a plate and then you will eat it and hopefully when I go upstairs to eat you will run along to your own bedroom and get some rest also." I say with a small smile.

"Are you kicking me out?" He says raising his eyes to meet mine a slight frown forms on his face.

"I'm not kicking you anywhere, I just need some time to collect my thoughts and to sleep, it has been a long day and I am not entirely sure what I want to say to you tomorrow so you decide what you want to do when I go upstairs as long as you don't bother me."

"So I guess following you upstairs would be bothering you…"

"Correct. Once we are done eating I don't want to see your ass anywhere near me until tomorrow afternoon, then we will have that discussion we were about to have before I fainted."

"Okay, just promise me you will still be here when I come over tomorrow." He says looking me straight in the eyes with a deeply intense gaze.

"I promise I have no intention of leaving here until I talk to you."

"Okay."

I quickly finish up the taco meat and slice up the veggies in hopes of ending the awkwardness between us. Embry doesn't seem to have his usual appetite but instead he eats at a slow human pace his eye intently watching me. I know better to ask what is wrong because I know all to well what is wrong. I finish my third taco and deposit my plate in the sink.

I slowly approach Embry where he is seated, he is mid-bite when I come to a halt next time him. He shoves the rest of the taco into his mouth seemingly swallowing the whole thing without chewing. He turns to face me, his expression reading like an open book and I instantly feel bad for causing him pain. I close my eyes slowly looking for something to say, before I can open my eyes I feel his strong hot arms close around me once more.

"Don't worry…" I mumble into his ear and slide my hands down his large muscular arms, grasping a bit at the defined muscles. "We'll talk tomorrow, I wish I could do this right now, but I can't. I hope you understand." I look up towards him, his eyes are out of my line of sight his chin blocking them from my view.

"Tomorrow." He whispers and just like that he is gone, the back door slams with a clank and I am once again alone.

**Okay i know i didn't give you much but the next chapter should be what you all want to know what are they gonna say to each other....well honestly i dont have a clue what larke is gonna say or do i only have a general idea of the tone and mood of the next chapter so i think i need to get into the right mood in order to type something that sounds right...Thanks for all the reviews and those of you who fav or alerted love ya all for liking my story ever thought i would ever have more than 200 reviews thanks again hope you ENJOYed **


	67. Chapter 67

**Okay here you go the next chapter hope you love it, like it, not hate it though...but you can cause that is your right but thanks for all the reviews if i haven't told you sorry for stopping this chaapter abruptly but i think it is a good place to stop and let me recollect my thoughts ENJOY**

Larke's POV

Alone with my thoughts mere hours before Embry would arrive here wanting to have that conversation. I could barely sleep for a couple hours last night, let alone stop my mind from running through anything and everything I needed to tell him. The jumble that is my mind is beyond confused right now, more so than it was last night. Gosh, if I knew I would feel like this I would have said the hell with thinking things over and talked to him after we ate. Stupid rational part of my brain, wanting to think things over.

No one else had come home last night, no doubt to give me privacy or maybe they didn't want to piss me off like they did before when I was upset. Regardless I could have used the distraction when I woke up, but I am still alone now lying here on the sectional sofa upside down with my feet in the air strewn over the back of the couch. My head is resting just slightly off the seating area of the sofa, so the blood rushing to my head isn't all that unbearable. The excess blood flow might razzle my brain a bit, sending some calming or organizing words to me so that my thoughts don't spew out of my mouth in random crazy ways. I don't want him to be confused, I really hope he understands my intentions, what are they again?

Do I still need to run away from him? No, I guess I don't…if he was really willing to let me go last night then that truly means something. How could he have sat there allowing me to walk out of his life knowing that it would hurt him? What kind of man is he?

I close my eyes and try to clear my thoughts of everything, hoping for some clarity before he arrives. I manage to slow my breathing as I concentrate on counting the seconds between my breaths. I clear my mind by picturing the sky at night but only focusing on one pin point of a star. The light becomes so bright as I focus on the white speckle that it feels like I am traveling towards the distant galaxy where the star is contained.

"Ahhhhh." I scream as I feel a hot hand grasp me around my ankles and tug slightly.

My eyes fly open and I meet the arrogant smirk of none other than Embry, amusement flashing across his face as he takes in my childish pose on the sofa.

"You know, the view from up here would be vastly improved if you had a skirt on." Embry teases as he pulls my legs apart a bit more than they already are. My efforts to resist his manhandling of my body are fruitless being that he is in fact a wolf in man's clothing so to speak.

"Embry…" I say hoping to warn him away from any further actions that might make our conversation turn a different way than I want.

"Okay, I'll play nice." He says removing his hands from my ankles and stepping away.

I take my opportunity to right myself by flipping backwards hoping for the same grace that I had when I was 12. I stumble a bit but other than that my 12 year old self would have been overjoyed at my attempts at a couch flip.

"Good dog, now if you could just sit and stay, we could get this over with before I back out or faint again."

He wrinkled his forehead at my doggie puns but obediently took a seat on the couch. He crossed his legs beneath him and rested his elbows on his knees reminding me of how he sat in that very spot the first time I had a conversation with him. I took a seat across from him but I couldn't mimic his posture or position, I didn't want to look directly at him for the first few thing I needed to say.

"I never lied to you until that day…" I start my voice barely a whisper, my eyes attune only to the floor, I don't want to see his reactions to my words, the words that I know hurt me, thus they must hurt him. " just after I had the nightmare."

I feel his eyes on me, he is listening intently and I hear him swallow loudly probably fighting his urge to ask me a question, but wanting not to interrupt.

"I never told a soul what my nightmare was about, maybe if I would have you would have understood, maybe you would understand now." I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my head on my knees facing my head away from his intense gaze. "It felt like it was really happening, I didn't think I was dreaming that night. You were on patrol and I wanted you, so I went out into the woods that night to find you and I did. It was cold and raining but you didn't comfort me and take me home, you pushed me up against a tree and forced me to have sex with you."

I pause fighting my emotions willing my eyes to dry, trying not to compare my nightmare and my reality. It seems like hours before I am composed enough to continue to speak.

"From that point on, I feared you…I feared that it would happen that way…and when it did I couldn't deal with it anymore you see my worst fear had come true." I close my eyes and pull my legs closer to me taking in the silence that is covering us both. I know he isn't going to speak until I ask him to.

"From that moment I tried to hid my anxiety from you, I wasn't only scared of you, but being alone with you in the woods, thus recreating my nightmare so to speak. You noticed right away that something was wrong, but I doubt that you suspected that I was scared of you the man not the other form you can take."

I took a deep breath and I heard him exhale.

"It took a lot out of me to go with you hiking that day, I was a nervous wreak…but everything was turning out so wonderful that day, I thought it would be a day I would always remember…well want to remember that is." I knew that had to hurt him but I had to get it all out there.

"You know that question, the truth or dare question I didn't want to answer the ironic thing is that I got what I secretly wanted, I just thought I wouldn't be so freaking scared of you." There I said it, the worst thing I could have said to him, my big secret is now out there for everyone to know. "I see now that reality is very different from fantasy, but I just didn't know, do you understand what I mean? Does what I am saying make any sense what so ever?"

For the first time since I started speaking I turn and look at him. His mouth is slightly parted, his eyes seem to be rather distant, but what I notice the most his that his breathing is forced and paced. I slowly reach my hand towards him and tentatively touch his knee. His eyes focus on my hand and almost instantly soften as his eyes slowly lock with mine. It is several minutes before he moves his eyes from mine, several long minutes before he reacts to what I told him.

He slowly but still rather swiftly moves closer to me, his arm wraps around me when I make no attempt to move away. Seconds later I am plastered with my back against his chest and his mouth very near my ear. Embry's arms possessively hold me to him as if someone at any moment would try and snatch me away from him.

"I'm not going to say you should have told me what was going on because you don't need to hear that from me right now, but it is nice to know that you thought about me 'taking control of you' for lack of a better way to say it, in a good way that is before your nightmare. I never thought you were scared of that you were right, I assumed that you were scared of my wolf form not he twisted intentions of my wolf. When we talked about the possibility you were so supportive and understanding that I never thought your reaction would be so strong if it ever happened. You really need to be honest with me about everything especially when it comes to this stuff cause I can't help you if I don't know, I don't know what you want to hear from me but I'll try to do anything you want…"

"I know…damn you let me go." I say trying to pull away from him and his calming voice. He releases me and as I whirl around the hurt on his face is obvious, but of course I just told him to let me go, I didn't want to be in his arms, how could that not hurt him.

"I know your intentions are good so I won't hold it against you that you used that calming voice you know I hate."

"You don't hate it you like it…"

I cut him off, " You know very well that I don't want you to use it to influence me…"

I start pacing in the living room trying not to let my thoughts overwhelm me needing to get them all out.

"Okay, I need to tell you why I haven't left, you need to know why I am still here talking to you than half way across the country on my way to Ohio." I stopped walking a sat down on the floor now ready to face him, I stared directly into his eyes.

He acknowledged me and my new position on the floor before him.

"I was terrified that you were hurt when I was driving Kim's car home from where we were headed… I almost drove off the highway. I couldn't stand the thought of you dieing, on top of that I was dreading seeing you knowing that you had already read my letter. I didn't want to see you knowing that I hurt you, I didn't want to see the pain in your eyes knowing I was, am the cause of it."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"And then on top of everything you did to me I go and follow you into the woods, and I realized that I did that without hesitation, I was willing to give everything up just to know what you had to say to me that day. I wondered if you knew how much faith I was putting in you, how much I was risking emotionally? I knew when I saw the tear on your face that it was over, there was no resisting I couldn't hurt you. It was too much and I panicked and passed out."

"Open your eyes Larke, look at me." I heard Embry say quietly. I slowly open my eyes to see him intently looking at me, his eyes a little brighter and his features much more relaxed.

"I knew what it meant when you blindly followed me into the woods, I never thought you would, but I had to know where your trust would end, would you refuse to leave the house, hold your ground in the back yard, decline my hand at the edge of the woods, I just needed to know before I told you, pleaded with you not to leave. I thought I had you, since I had your trust, but then you fell to the ground, I was so afraid that it was due to fear. I felt horrid for pushing you and then you called me to you in Emily's house and I fell to pieces right there, wondering how long until you came to your sense and truly left me."

I took in his words, my eyes never leaving his as he spoke. The silence is so unnerving I wonder if he wants me to say something.

"I'm not leaving." I say quietly breaking the silence hoping to dispel his doubts.

"I can't lose you, I can be without you but I can't lose you, it would all but kill me."

"I'm not past this, yet…but knowing that you would have let me leave makes me want to stay. I am definitely not ready to have sex with you again, but I don't think I am ready to push you out of my life completely either. As much as I trust you that trust is hanging by a very thin piece of thread and could break at any moment, I think I need trust as thick as a brick wall to be confident that you won't break it."

"I'm glad you trust me, no matter how thin you think it is, it took guts to follow me into the woods if you think your trust is that slim." He smirks at me like he knows I am underestimating.

Smug confident wolfmen suck especially with a smirk like that, makes me want to hit him but my hand would hurt for days.

"So where does this leave us?" Embry asks the smirk instantly gone, and his grim almost melodramatic expression reappears.


	68. Chapter 68

**next chapter yeee hope you Enjoy it was hard to write but fun Thank you so much to all who reviewd or faved or alerted**

Larke's POV

I stare at his expression, looking into his eyes praying the words I need to, want to say will some how magically form inside my head. As much as I rack my brain I cannot divulge what if any reassurances he may need, what else do I need to tell him? Does he know what he wants to know, is this question more open ended than either of us realizes because we both don't have an answer.

"You tell me? I've told you where I stand." I say firmly with the last ounce of my strength so that my uneasiness doesn't show or break into my voice.

"I still want you, I will always want you…I just need to know how I can have you. I don't want to push the boundaries and have to run away, I know what I want is beyond what you are willing to give so you need to tell me where not to go. Do you not want me to be around you, touch you, talk to you, kiss you, hold you, or what? You say it and its done as long as you don't leave." He says as he stands up and walks the length of the room.

His voice stern and yet a little timid, I can tell he is running high with emotions he doesn't want me to see. What those emotions are I haven't a clue. I peer up at his form from my seated position on the ground, suddenly feeling small and hesitant to lay out the ground rules so to speak. I don't believe I am a bossy person, how does he expect me to tell him no. Why does it have to be so defined? I don't even know what I am comfortable with why should he be privileged with a list of do's and don't's.

"I…uh." I stumble over my words. "It's not that definite…black and white, I don't know what to tell you other than I want you around. Beyond that it is all shades of gray that are sorta unfocused the true color not showing until it is just before me. In other words I don't think I will know until you push weather or not it is too much."

I stand up to face him not wanting to feel so small to his still standing form.

"I know this isn't what you want to hear, I know you would rather have a rule book to follow, but I'm not a damn football game your just have to proceed with the game and if you get a penalty then so be it, just try to keep the unnecessary roughness to a minimum." I say smirking at him, but probably giving away that I watched a football game today.

"Okay." He says flopping back down onto the sofa again. He sighs loudly as if defeated.

Now what I think. Do I tell him to leave? Do I ignore him? What does a girl do after having a discussion like this with her boyfriend, is he still my boyfriend? I guess so I mean he never said I wasn't and I don't think I did either. I am certainly not going to ask him, that would be weird. I am sure he will bring it up eventually.

I am still standing in front of him, now one hand on my hip as I stare at him slouching on the sofa. He looks relaxed, his eyes closed, his back is mostly on the sitting portion of the couch thus his spread legs supporting some of his weight, it looks rather awkward but he is relaxed. I can't take my eyes off of him knowing that he can't see me helps but I am well aware that I am shamelessly staring at the man.

One of his eyes crack open and he catches me, I feel my face redden and my jaw drop at being caught. I quickly turn away from his eyes and the smile I just barely saw forming and head into the kitchen looking for something to divert my attentions.

"I saw you." I hear him tease as the squeak of the couch signifies that he is indeed following me to the kitchen.

"Hungry?" I ask in a slim attempt to change the subject, not wanting to discuss what he saw me doing and why.

"Yes, but I know you were looking and it was a different look Larke, what were you thinking when you were looking at me?" He says quietly as he takes a seat at the kitchen island.

"Nothing much." I reply as I grab some eggs from the fridge, I try to sound casual but somehow my voice come out anything but that. What am I doing? Am I truly flirting with the bastard? Annoyed at my actions I take it out on the eggs and slam them into the bowl without any grace whatsoever.

"Sure, I guess you'll tell me later when I catch you looking again," He smirks now making my face redden at his accusation, " Oh yes Larke, I remember seeing you look at me like that yesterday at Sam's house."

I turn quickly to grab the flour out of the cabinet to add to my muffin batter, only to avoid his eyes. Muffins that's right, I wasn't going to make them until I needed something else to add to my bowl to avoid him, it was going to be scrambled eggs but now—muffins it is. I add a couple cups of flour to the 5 eggs I managed to crack into the bowl before I changed my mind, the more ingredients the better, less time to catch Embry's eye.

"What on earth are you making?" He asks noticing my change in direction in what I am cooking.

"Muffins?" I say questionably eyeing my bowl cautiously hoping they will turn out since I'm not following a recipe.

"Emily never puts 5 eggs and that little of flour into anything…" He says in disbelief.

"Well, I am not Emily and my muffins will taste wonderful, what kind should they be?" I say changing the topic, wondering myself if we have any fruit in the fridge.

"I don't know you're the one cooking here." Embry replies as I head to the fridge in search of my options.

"Peach or grapefruit?" I ask knowing that grapefruit muffins sound beyond horrible.

"Peach."

I gather the two peaches we thankfully have in the fridge and begin to dice them to add to the muffins. The sharp knife slides easily through the ripe peaches, the juice making my hands sticky and slippy, but the knife has a grippy handle so I think I am fine.

"Can I ask you something?" Embry says in a soft voice like he is expecting me to say no.

"Uh…sure."

"Did I uh…hurt you down there when we had sex?"

"Jesus Embry," I cry out just before the knife slips and cuts into my finger deeply as the question catches me completely off guard. "Ouch, shit." I scream and jump up and down grabbing my finger like it is going to fall off if I let go. Tears come to my eyes as blood gushes from my wound.

Embry is up off the stool in less than a second after my first outburst and into full on protective mode the next at the sight of my blood.

"Larke, calm down, let me see." He says a little too loudly.

"No, don't touch it, it hurts." I scream at him now that I stopped hopping around I'm holding my bloody finger tightly in my hand and between my knees wincing at the pain.

"I know it hurts, run it under the cold water over here so I can see if you need stitches." Embry says using his voice to calm me and in the back of my mind I tell myself to remember to yell at him later for it, because right now I find myself complying to his suggestion.

"Ouch." I yelp trying to pull my hand back, but Embry now has a firm grasp on my wrist and therefore my wrist will be anywhere Embry wants it to be and right now that is under the cold water. "I'm not going to the hospital." I say firmly.

"Emily can do it, but you need stitches it is really deep." He says wrapping a dish towel tightly around my now throbbing hand. "You should really be more careful with knives."

Before I can get another word out I am being dragged out the front door and into Leah's car. All thoughts leave my head as my finger throbs inside the dish towel, my muffins spoiling on the counter that is what thought I use to distract my mind from the pain. We arrive at Emily's house in minutes and I groan as I take in the fact that many of the pack are here. Great.

Embry picks me up and carries me to the house despite my protests that I can walk just fine, I didn't drop the knife on my foot.

I hear the screen door clack and everyone stops talking and silence fills the kitchen.

"She cut her finger with a kitchen knife." Embry says and everyone seems to relax instantly as Emily rushes forward.

"Everyone out give me and Larke some room." Emily commands and all the boys seem to listen without complaint. "Set her down Embry and let me see the damage."

Embry places me in a chair and Emily slowly un wraps the towel from my hand.

"Your lucky, I don't think you need stitches just some of this glue stuff will hold it together nicely if you don't use your hand too much the rest of the day." She dries my finger really well and places the invisible bandage glue on my hand holding it still so I don't flinch. "How did this happen you don't usually have a trouble with knives?"

"Embry distracted me with a question?" I say and my face flushes red again as I remember what question he asked.

"Well, than you should refrain from having those types of discussion while playing with knives." Emily chides me but looked directly at Embry.


	69. Chapter 69

**Okay i had fun writing this chapter and i reread it before i posted so i hope some of my more stupid grammer errors are gone, sorry if i missed any i may be a college grad but grammer never was my strong suit...Hope you like let me know what you think my brain is a little out there sometimes i have to reign myself in and stop before i go to far on something but i am happy with this chapter but it i still rather short, i guess. EnJOY....Thanks for the reviews:))**

Larke's POV

Leah and Seth walked me home after Emily patches me up, Embry had pack stuff to do and after him asking me that question I gladly accepted a way out of talking to him further on the subject. I am lying here in bed, my finger throbbing beyond belief unable to put two and two together about why he would just blatantly ask such an absurd question. It is like sometimes he has no brain at all. I just hope he doesn't bring it up again or I will die of embarrassment not just cut my finger.

By now everyone knows or will know because Embry no doubt had to go wolf for the pack stuff he needed to do. Everyone will know what he asked, how humiliating probably for both of us, Embry just doesn't have any tact sometimes.

Sometime in my internal ramblings I must have fallen asleep for the next moment I realize that it is bright and sunny in my room. I groan and stretch my arms, coffee is a must my one track mind bellows. I grab my throw blanket and wrap it around myself knowing the warmth of my bed will not carry over to the rest of the house. I grab the knob of my door sleepily rubbing my eyes with my other blanket encrusted hand.

"Ouwww. What the…" I yelp as my foot hits something hard and furry at the threshold of my bedroom door.

I look down in time to see the gray wolf that I know as Embry with his front paws outstretched forward as he arches his back in a very doglike manor. I see his large mouth open wide and a small squeaky whine emerge from his lips as he yawns, his teeth glinting in the sun streaming in from my door. This happens in a few seconds as I stand there dumbfounded watching his canine display.

His large soft head rubs against my legs just before he reels back and sits on his haunches and looks at me intently with his all too human eyes. I can't stop myself, my hand reaches out to grab the side of his head pulling the canine ear into my grasp and rolling my thumb around at the base. A small groan escapes his wolfie jowls, shocked I pull my hand away only to be met with a goofy open mouthed, tongue lolling, smile so characteristic of any canine, werewolf or not.

I look at him and smile loving my morning surprise, "Come muttley I need coffee." I say stepping around him and heading down the stairs with him hot on my heels.

I make my coffee and curl up on the couch with my large steaming cup, Embry surprises me and stays in his wolf form and curls up next to me with his head resting on my up curled feet, warming them to the bone. My free hand slowly rubs his large neck moving the skin in wide massaging circles relishing in the feeling of him beneath my hand. I can feel his muscles relax and a quiet groan come from his mouth, expecting some reaction it doesn't startle me this time.

When my coffee is gone I set my mug down on the side table not wanting to give up being with Embry as a wolf, scared if I get up he will want to change back. I lean my back against the arm rest looking for a more comfortable position cause Embry's large head is rather heavy and my feet are completely asleep. I pull my legs out from under him, with his help of course and shift my body so that my legs are straight out in front of me. Embry readjusts his body to be lying between them with his head on my lower stomach, thus most of his weight is off of me, except his neck and chin that is. If Embry was human this would be a rather awkward position, having a man lie between my legs on his stomach with his chin on my belly creates something more intimate than cuddling on the couch come to mind.

I feel my face flush at the thought and wonder if Embry has similar thoughts right now but not really wanting to know. I look down at him and blush again when I notice his eyes watching me very intently. I move my hands back down to his fur and roll his ear through my hands again keeping my eyes focused on his.

"Your so soft." I mutter absently.

In response Embry nudges me a bit pressing his muzzle into me a bit causing my pj shirt to move up a bit revealing my stomach and my blanket to fall a bit off my shoulders. I feel his hot breath on my skin and the wetness from his wolfie lips as he turns his head sideways just slightly.

"Embry…" I whisper and then giggle as his cold nose runs across my exposed skin and my hands instinctively fly off his head in shock. "Stop." I manage to say through my giggles. My hands now bracing myself and on the couch no longer having the power to put them on his fluffy head.

What is he doing? First he is sleeping in front of my bedroom door and then continues to play house dog while I drink my morning coffee. What has seriously gotten into this guy? Maybe he wants to be my dog instead of my boyfriend, talk about change in relationship parameters there. No, that can't be it, I can't see him willingly doing all the doggie type of things like playing fetch and eating dog food, he is a steak without the potatoes guy. I roll my eyes internally at my absurdity as I bring my thoughts back to the present.

He doesn't stop, his tongue darts out and traces the same path as his nose did. Oh gosh, he has to stop this is perverse, I can't be enjoying what he is doing, I close my eyes trying to clear my head wanting nothing more than not to have this happening, it feels like one of those dreams I use to have. I swallow hard, my eyes still closed, I feel his tongue trace my exposed flesh again and I will myself to open my eyes, I have to get him to understand that he must stop. He is not a human right now, I can't do this with a wolf that is just ewwww.

I open my eyes and shriek, "Embry!" for what I see between my legs is no longer a fluffy gray wolf but a very naked man. How could I not have noticed that he changed, was I that far gone into my thoughts, obviously cause otherwise I would have scrambled away. Receding into my mind has its drawbacks sometimes.

I feel is hands now, his hands not paws grip my waist and he looks up at me innocently, well as innocent as a naked man can look as he slowly inches up my pj shirt. My eyes trail courageously beyond his face and the sight of his exposed ass catches me off guard somehow I expected something to cover him.

"Embry, you're naked!" I shriek again and draw my legs up and bend my knees causing his head to slide down away from my stomach but unfortunately his face is now digging into my crotch, much to his surprise and mine.

"You know if you wanted me lower you should have just said something." He says lifting his head from where he slid and smirking at me.

"Embry get up and move." I say glaring at him and speaking before I realize what I was saying.

He raises one eyebrow at me but proceeds to move away from me and stands up before me. I gasp as I realize he is still naked and now more than aroused and standing before me. My eyes widen at my first true up close glimpse of him without clothes on, and I am staring. My hands fly up to my eyes the moment I realize I didn't look away, but it is too late.

"Is it that bad of a view Larke?" He says with obvious amusement.

"Put some clothes on now." I say adamantly wanting to rid myself of the mental image that surely will be branded into my retinas.

Before he can respond the front door bangs open and several loud voices announce that they are hungry and what is for breakfast before there is a moment of silence, thus I assume the are taking in the scene in the front room. I am still sitting on the couch with my hands over my eyes and Embry is surely still standing in front of me nude as the day he was born.

"Greeesh, Embry put that thing away you're scaring the girl, when they cover their eyes it isn't a good sign, bro." Paul quips.

"Yeah Embry, thought you were going for the subtle wolfie approach today?" Quil says in amusement.

"Yeah, man put some clothes on no one wants to see that, not even your girl." Brady says as I hear them move through the house towards the kitchen.

"There's coffee in the coffee pot." I yell towards them still keeping my hands over my eyes and not daring to move.

"Thnaks, Larke, Glad to hear you're not in shock over there." Quil yells back at me and I laugh and close my eyes tighter to hold back the very panic attack I don't want. I shouldn't be panicking that Embry is naked but his friends did just walk in on us—doing nothing.

"Are you dressed yet?" I ask wondering if he is still standing there naked.

"Larke, I didn't mean to…it's just that…sorry." He says and I hear him leave the room. I wait another few seconds before opening my eyes. I grab my coffee mug and head into the kitchen, praying they all keep their mouths shut, they will if they want food that is I think to myself.

I refill my mug and look over at the silly grins the three guys have on their faces, " Say one word and I won't feed you mangy mutts." I threaten.

I turn and grab bread and eggs from the fridge and place them securely on the counter and grab the large griddle from the cabinet. French toast is quick easy and just about the fastest breakfast I can cook in massive amounts. The griddle can hold 15 slices of bread if I do it just so. I turn to grab the cinnamon out of the cabinet and Embry slides his arms around my waist and pulls me into his chest.

"I truly am sorry, I'll explain later." He mummers in my ear.

I whip around and out of his hold, well he lets me that is, " Go sit, stay, and keep your clothes on wolf boy." I say pointing to the last seat at the kitchen island. He smiles, but listens to my orders despite the laughs from his pack mates.

"Here make yourself useful, crack these eggs into the bowl." I order Quil and slide the bowl to him giving him a look that says if he doesn't help he isn't gonna eat.

Embry grabs the eggs and bowl from Quil and proceeds to do what I said without question, but gaining further taunts from his friends. I just smile and gather the rest of the ingredients.

I feed the four guys and just as quickly as they arrived, they were gone that is except Embry who continues to sit at the island looking sheepishly at me.

"Are you mad?" He asks quickly and quietly as I place the last dish in the drying rack.

"Not mad exactly." I state leaning back against the counter keeping my distance from him.

"I never meant to phase back, it was sorta involuntary...what I mean is that I was overwhelmed with human emotion and I couldn't stay in my wolf form and I phased back without warning." He explains still not looking directly as me.

"Oh." I say at a loss now of what to say.

"What made you become…um overwhelmed so I don't do it again when you're a wolf?" I ask now a little curious.

"I don't think you could control it, I mean its just that…"

"Well." I say impatiently at his abrupt halt in his explanation.

"Your smell, I mean I could smell how you were feeling." He says looking me in the eye and then trailing his eyes down lower towards my waist.

I blush when I finally realize what he is implying, my eyes widen and I look away swiftly taking an interest in what is out the window. I push all thoughts from my head concentrating on the tree line I can see from the kitchen window.

"Larke, don't worry about it, I'll try not to let it happen again." He says and I slowly glance at him and see a warm smile.

"Okay."

"While were talking, you never did answer my question I asked yesterday."

"You can't just ask something like that." I say a little outraged that he would actually ask me again.

"But…I need to know…I only know what happened from my point of view."

"And what was that Embry…that you almost literally raped me, forced yourself on me, I mean hell does scaring the shit out of me turn you on, cause you sure make a habit out of it!" I yell at him, all my anger and hurt seeping to the surface. "You know I never thought I could even look at you again after that, let alone let you touch me. I won't deny the fact that not every aspect of what you did to me was awful, but I'll be damned if that is any excuse. So yeah if you have to know, your hurt me, but not as bad as you could have, so if you could please just drop the subject, you definitely don't need specifics." I turn and walk out of the kitchen leaving him there and head up to my room, desperately needing a hot shower.


	70. Chapter 70

Jake's POV

We heard Larke yell at Embry and her footsteps as she hurried up the stairs and directly into the bathroom to start the shower. Once we were sure she was in the shower, Leah and I exchanged looks and I bravely headed down stairs to survey the situation. Leah and I had been awakened to the loud voices of our fellow pack mates demanding breakfast and apparently walking in on a very awkward moment for him and Larke.

I walk into the kitchen with a large grin on my face just thinking about how uncomfortable Embry's morning has been. The fool can mess the best of circumstances up without even trying. He glares at me as I walk in and snag a cup of hot coffee. I lean my back against the door frame and quietly watch my friend, I can see the gears in his brain slowly churning and almost wonder what he is thinking but stop myself I get enough of his thoughts when we phase.

"Should have known you would come down eventually and rub it in my face." Embry growls at me.

I chuckle softly, "I wanted to know you were okay, I mean shit man how did you let yourself end up naked in the middle of the living room with half the pack standing in the doorway?"

"I don't know…everything was going great and then I guess I got carried away, I couldn't resist and oh gosh she smelled so good…" He rubs his hands up his face and through his hair, "Has that ever happened to you or anyone else…I couldn't stop it and the next thing I know." He closes his eyes and groans softly out of desperation or frustration or want I don't know, "Shit, Jake it took all my self-control to stop, I was so close to not stopping, if the guys hadn't walked in when they did I don't know what would have happened."

"Don't dwell on it."

"I don't want to screw this up anymore, how can I trust myself to be around her when I consciously thought about fucking her over the back of the couch just this morning…"

"Embry it isn't a crime to think about it, damn I don't know how you ever expected yourself not to think about it with that perverse mind of yours, but it is weather or not you act on your every whim that you should be concerned about. You shouldn't expect your mind to be innocent hell, Embry you were far from innocent before you met her, so don't expect yourself to not want certain things…just control your self or do you need a shock collar." I laugh not really being the type to make doggie jokes but the mental image of Larke having the controller to a shock collar on Embry is too funny to pass up, hell I'm surprised she hasn't joked with him, being so fond of the doggie jokes herself.

I get an evil look from Embry and a low growl but dismiss it he is just annoyed as hell with himself and the entire situation. He nearly lost her again.

"You know maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea, at least she could stop me if I went too far…" Embry muses out loud.

"It was a joke Embry, hell you would probably get off on her shocking you, you being such a perv and all." I laugh and he frowns and then I frown knowing that I will not like it one bit when this conversation spreads through the gossip chain. Being with Leah has certain advantages that I can't deny, both of us being able to block things from the rest of the pack fairly well.

Larke's POV

I feel so much more relaxed after my shower, I hope Embry went home I still feel like yelling at him. I sigh as I head into my bedroom and start as I see Leah sitting on my bed waiting for me. I smile weakly at her wondering what she is doing sitting there.

"Hi, feeling better I bet you have had quiet a morning from the ruckus I heard earlier?" She laughs slightly.

"I saw Embry naked." I blurt out to my best friend suddenly wanting her to comfort me, hoping she isn't in a teasing mood.

"And that's a bad thing?" She frowns as she asks, " Cause I have seen it, not that I want it but gosh Larke the boy is gorgeous." She ends with a soft chuckle.

My eyes widen at her casualness to the whole situation, does she not realize that I had never seen a man naked before in broad daylight, let alone one that I actually have a desire to see.

"What?" She questions the look of shock I gave her.

"It's just that I had never really seen him before or anyone else for that fact…" I start to say but am cut off.

"But I thought that…sorry never mind I don't want to bring that up."

I frown at her statement knowing what she is taking about now has nothing to do with Embry, but to what happened back in Ohio, "Well, firelight doesn't give way to details and as scared as I was I kept my eyes closed for the most part." I answer her very quietly looking down.

"Sorry, you didn't have to explain…" She hugs me gently just for a moment, " So tell me how was it that Embry wound up naked without you knowing it."

"She says he accidentally phased back, I didn't notice because I was a little lost in my thoughts that is until I opened my eyes and instead of a cute cuddly wolf between my legs I have a very naked man."

She just laughs, " I can't believe...that is so funny…I am so sorry Larke no wonder you yelled at him."

"Well, I wouldn't have yelled at him, if he wouldn't be so ignorant, there are just some questions you don't ask." I say adamantly but then I sigh as I realize my anger is gone and talking to Leah has sure helped me relax.

**okay i know it was short but thought i would give you what i wrote before i decide to change it that is ususally the hang up when i take forever to update so i don't know hope you like it Thanks for the reviews :)**


	71. Chapter 71

**Once again i don't like what i wrote so feel free to not like it either but sure like it if you must....Thanks for all the reviews once again. **

Larke's POV

The next couple days went by without incident, the usual and not much contact with Embry, however I did manage to find a job by accident that is. Yesterday I ventured into La Push's downtown and happened to notice a help wanted sign at one of the local shops, and I thought perfect I can walk to work since I am minus a car and all. It is only part time but it helps me not feel like such a bum, sitting around the house all day. I work from 8-4 Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday for now that is. I start next week on Monday which gives me the rest of this week and the weekend to get use to the idea of actually having a job, yeeee! I am excited.

I haven't told Embry yet, but I'm sure the whole freaking town knows by now, it seems that gossip travels faster than the rain clouds around here. I don't know how many comments I got asking how Embry was…guess they all know I'm his 'girlfriend'. By the time I had been through all the local stores I felt like I was listening to a broken record, geesh and I thought my home town was bad.

Just as I put the three large casserole pans into the oven the back door slams open a little too loudly as Embry, Jake, Quil, and Seth saunter into the dinning room. Each of them has a worn out look about them as if their day hasn't gone quite as planned. Not only are they covered in mud but also smell like wet dog, they must have been running out in the rain as wolves.

"You guys aren't tracking in mud are you?" I question, "Cause if you are I'll burn dinner before I feed it to you." I laugh at their shocked and apologetic expressions.

"I'll clean it up, don't worry." Seth say hurriedly grabbing the paper towels off the counter.

"What are you cooking anyway?" Quil asks sniffing the air cautiously. I snort at the view wondering if any of them have ever had Chicken Devine, but not wanting to ask.

"Chicken." I reply shortly instead of the long discussion the true name would elicit.

"I don't think I like chicken." Jake says with a fake pout.

"You'd eat the chicken even before I cooked it Jake, you are not picky."

"Sure, Sure." Jake shrugs and I roll my eyes.

"What about you Em, not strange comments from your scrap of a brain." I tease, since he is in a quiet brooding mood that always makes me a bit uncomfortable. I think I prefer the in between or the arrogant version of Embry too the quite withdrawn one any day.

"Huh?" Embry looks up towards me looking confused at the sound of his name.

"I just asked if you had anything to say, but apparently you are gonna keep brooding about something." I chuckle softly shaking my head from side to side at his perplexed expression.

"You yell at me when I do say anything." I hear Embry mumble under his breath looking away from me.

He is mad at me, is that why he hasn't been around the past could days. Did what I say to him actually impact and penetrate his defenses? I don't think I even realized that anything I could have said would hurt him. What is wrong with me why am I fussing over me hurting him because I told him off? This just isn't the way I am suppose to feel, I should be mad at him not the other way around.

After about 10 minutes of almost complete silence I decide that I can't just pretend I didn't hear the comment, "You're mad at me." It isn't a question but a statement and my voice sounds a bit harsher than I wanted it too, okay a lot harsher.

He looks up and towards me and I wait for him to say something, deny it perhaps but no, nothing. He doesn't say anything he just looks towards me but not into my eyes as if he is avoiding my gaze. I look at Jake and then at Quil who are still in the same room as us, but they are no help and in fact they swiftly look at each other and head up the stairs quickly. Great they are leaving us alone, something must be up, why didn't I notice before?

"Embry?"

"Larke?" He looks away from me.

"What? Just tell me." I plead quietly, not wanting this tension to continue.

"I don't want this…this animosity between us I mean. Every second that I sit here thinking about my agitation towards the whole situation it becomes worse. The more I try and let it go or push it aside I only manage to push it deeper into myself. Throw me a bone here Larke or it isn't gonna be me that loses you it might just be the other way around." Embry says leaning over with his hands on his knees, his face turned towards the ground. His hands are threaded through his hair as if he is griping onto the strands for dear life.

"I don't want to lose you, that is why I am still here. I don't know what brought this all on for you but I don't think you have any reason to doubt that I don't still love you." I say as I walk towards him.

"What?" His strangled voice questions and he looks up towards me. I see for the first time the sadness in his eyes and the slight glistening that he won't let escape. I move closer to him and kneel on the floor before him so that I can get a better look at his face.

"I said I love you, Embry and I don't want you to go away, I don't want you to be torment yourself anymore." I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. I slowly wrap my arms around his waist and doing so has be positioned snugly between his knees, I pull him to me wanting to be as close to him as I can. Wanting to take his pain away, take his sadness away, wanting desperately to take everything and anything he is willing to let me have.

"I love you." I hear him murmur quietly as his hands smooth my hair down my scalp.

"Ehhhemm." I hear a loud obvious throat clearing sound.

I turn to look and Jake and Leah are standing by the living room couch with silly looking smiles on their faces. Oh…I just realize where I am and I instantly blush and try to back away, but Embry seems to have gotten a grip on me some how and holds me steady.

"Embry…." I whine at him, "Let me go I have to check dinner."

"Thanks Okay Larke, I'll get it, you stay right there," Leah says smiling even bigger.

Slowly Embry slides me up his body and into this lap curling me tightly against his chest.

He whispers into my ear, "You really love me after everything I have done?"

My voice seems lost so I just slowly nod my head affirmatively hoping it will be enough for now. His response is to pull me tighter against him. I tentatively lean up and kiss his cheek, but just as I am coming in for a landing he turns his head catching my lips with his. I freeze, but he doesn't and draws me into a passionate kiss. I pull away and I hear a groan come from Embry and in his moment of disappointment I manage to scramble out of his clutches and into the kitchen.

After dinner we are all just sitting around in the living room, myself still keeping some distance between me and Embry a little scared about the moment we shared earlier. I know I love him, but I am scared of what that means to him. To love someone, to be in love with someone, am I going to be able to accept him for what and who he is. Does my confession aloud that I love him change anything, I still am not ready for him to make love to me, the very thought is beyond terrifying but also something I impatiently want. Can I really trust him? Can I really accept him, all parts of him?

"So I got a job today." I suddenly announce to the small group of people in front of me.

"Where at?" Leah questions.

"At the small shop downtown that sells books and things." I say not quite sure of the actual name of the store.

"That's great." Leah says while everyone else also confirms silently.

"Why do you need a job?' Embry asks suddenly looking concerned.

"I need something to do during the day, I can't just sit around here for the rest of my life."

"You had a job, you cook, who is gonna feed me." Embry whines.

Is he serious?

"Are you serious or just joking Embry? I am not your personal chef." I say a little annoyed at his remark.

"Sorry, I wasn't thinking, I just love your cooking."

"I'll still have time to cook Embry, don't worry." I laugh hoping to lighten his mood, "Sides I don't start till Monday and I only work three days a week."

Embry smiles at me and I can't help it I smile back.

**Not quite sure how Embry is gonna get Larke to open up again, i guess writers block is rearing its ugly head into my story must be all the rain we are having gives me a headache....Hope you Enjoyed**


	72. Chapter 72

**Okay next chapter is up....a little longer but not much...Thanks to you who reviewed.....EnJOY**

Larke's POV

"So do you think you would mind coming over to my house tonight to watch that movie instead of staying here?" Embry asks as I finish up the dinner dishes. I freeze at his suggestion, I haven't been over to his house since…well since before I attempted to leave that is. I resume rinsing the last dish and place it in the drying rack and slowly turn to face him.

I open my mouth to speak but sadly nothing comes out and I am left there standing before his eyes, my mouth hanging slightly open, and his eyes are boring into me trying to read my expressions.

"We don't have to…I just thought that…well we haven't really…" Embry mutters slowly and stumbles over his words.

"No, no…" I say stopping his ramble, "That's great…no big deal say no more…"

He just looks at me arching one eye brow in question of my causal response. I hope with all I have that I don't have to discuss this reaction with him…the past two days since I told him I loved him he has dissected my every reaction with imploring questions. It is like that gave him the right to question my every thought, hell have the time I don't know why I have certain reactions when I do. Does that work for an answer, no.

He asked me yesterday why I looked shocked and balked at some cruel joke about Paul and his preferences of sexual acts. Not that I have anything against Paul and what ever girl he is doing aforementioned sexual acts with, but I don't have to hear about him being upset that a girl didn't want to do something or hear the joke that goes along with it. Guys are so rude sometimes, but they don't have to take it beyond to something depraved and mean.

"Larke, we can watch the movie here." Embry says somberly as he walking into the kitchen to grab a soda from the fridge.

I huff a blast of air through my nose and turn to face him, "No, for what ever reason you want to watch the movie at your house so that is where we are gonna watch it." I say rolling my eyes at him.

"No arguing, no questioning, I'm not explaining anything to you right now…all I want to do is relax and spend the evening with you." I say stepping slowly towards him and wrapping my arms gently around his chest. That is all I can manage and only a few seconds, my reactions to him are still all over the place, one minute I am fine but the next I could be either angry or feel rather sick. It is hard dealing with my emotions with my brain tells me I want nothing more than to never leave his arms. I can't help my reactions, there must be something that sets me off but I refuse to think about it too closely just wanting to forget and get past it. This is also a discussion I would very much not like to have with Embry, so the less I think about it the faster it will go away, I hope.

"Okay, then lets grab the movie and head out." He says slowly reaching for my hand but I quickly walk past him pretending not to notice and head into the front room where Leah, Seth, and Jake are lounging.

I grab the movie off the side table, " We're heading over to Embry's to watch this movie." I say as Embry finally manages to snag my hand within his and I resist the temptation to flinch away, my nervousness about going to his house getting the best of me it seems.

"Should I expect you back tonight or is it a slumber party?" Leah teases and is obvious about her exaggerated tone meaning more than what she is saying.

"I don't know guess we'll see, if I am here for breakfast in the morning or not." I call her bluff with that statement, cause she wanted me to say I would be back tonight and blush at her suggestive tones. I know her games and they have only gotten worse since she has been sleeping with Jake.

Shit I swear to myself now I set myself up to stay the night with Embry, not like I haven't done that one before, but… I take a deep breath hoping it is silent enough not to be noticed before I smile and head to the back door.

"We can take the short cut right?" Embry asks quietly as we start walking to his house. The short cut is the path that leads thought the forest to the other side of town where his house is located.

"Yeah." I find myself saying despite the longing I have to tell him no…the forest, Embry, and darkness scary things I don't particularly want to face together at the moment. I have to face them sooner or later…I knew this was coming, I knew it all was coming from the moment I decided that I wasn't going to leave him. I haven't been in the forest since that day I followed him, I haven't been to Embry's house or been this 'alone' with him since that day, and now I am. I haven't left the Clearwater's house with Embry until now, I went places on my own or with someone else but never with Embry.

I feel calm sink in as we continue to walk, his hand still firmly holding mine and our arms slightly brushing sending tendrils of heat flashing into my skin ever so gently. I ignore my feelings awash with anxiety and concentrate solely on the moment, what is happening just now. I hear the sounds of the forest as we near the path that will cut 10 minutes off our walk, and I smell the comforting smell of wet damp earth causing a wave of relaxation to roll down my spine. A chilled wind licks and plays with my skin and hair bringing a small smile to my face as I relish in the fact that I am outdoors, something which has always comforted me.

"You seem happy all of a sudden." Embry's voice clashes into the night air pulling me out of my revelry.

"I just love the outdoor, it is so wonderful." I say my voice sounding far away and I find myself leaning a bit into Embry's arm as we are encased by the looming trees surrounding the trail.

"So you have told me before." He says his voice light and soft and if I look I am sure a smile would be on his lips.

"I know I just haven't taken the time to be outside…"

He squeezes my hand a bit tighter letting me know he is there, letting me know with an unspoken gesture that he knows, he may not understand, but he is here for me.

The rest of the walk I am silent blissfully taking in the sounds and smells around me. Embry's house looks the same as I have always seen it, yet I can't help myself from gripping the DVD in a death clenching hold while we take the last few paces to the porch stairs.

"Relax…" Embry whispers to me as he opens the door to his house. "We are just watching a movie, you can leave anytime you want to, I won't stop you, I won't even touch you if that is what you want." He continues and gently rubs his thumb over the top of my hand before he lets go. I miss his touch instantly, but I can't tell him that.

I follow him into the living room and take a seat on the couch grabbing the blanket from the back of it so that I can fight off the cold, it may be warmer in the house but not much werewolves don't seem to have that high of an electric bill I'd imagine, heat not required for the most part. I wonder if Sam sweats to death cause I know babies need the house to stay rather warm, I wonder if Embry ever does turn on his heat.

"You want something to drink?" Embry calls over his shoulder from inside the open door of the fridge.

"Sure, what ya got in there?" I smile at the slight view I see of his behind, something which I rarely get the chance to look at with his bare chest distracting me so, but tonight he is fully dressed, well he doesn't have on shoes but who needs those anyway.

"I got some beer, some flat 7up, and ewww some spoiled milk."

"Ha ha don't have much choice here just bring me a beer and put the movie in, I'm not about to get up you keep this house colder than Leah and Seth keep theirs." I shiver beneath my blanket.

"That's because I am only here mostly when I bring you over, or when everyone is mad at me." He chuckles placing the two beers on the coffee table and picking up the feature presentation for the night, Cruel Intentions—one of my all time favorite movies. Embry says he hasn't seen it so it will be fun to watch with him.

"Just put the movie in so you can send some of your werewolf heat my way before I get hypothermia here." I laugh at the silly smile he gives me.

Embry puts the movie in and hits play. He joins me on the couch a good foot away from me, but that is not giving me the warmth I need so I have to move closer to him. This is probably why he wanted to watch the movie here instead of at Leah's cause here I have no choice but to snuggle closer to him. He doesn't seem to mind me getting closer, in fact his arm is around me before I even settle into his side.

"You planned this didn't you?" I ask amused not that the warmth has settled in.

"I don't know what your talking about." He tries to say innocently.

I roll my eyes, " I hope this is all you had planned." I laugh as my mind wonders to what else Embry could be wanting to do.

As the movie starts I feel Embry tense as he realizes that the movie has a very sexual story line. "This is the movie you pick to watch with me, the one you say is one of your favorites." He asks in disbelief as the main character teases the male lead provocatively and then he cracks up laughing when she uses the same line I tried to use on him—Star Trek theme and all but she did a much better job with it than I did. He smiles and looks down to try and stop his laughter.

"Oops, I forgot that she said that." I blush.

"Don't worry it didn't work on him either." Embry teases.

"Shut up and just watch the movie." I laugh.

The rest of the movie streams along without serious comment and I am reminded once again why I love this movie so much. It is a love story, but no just any love story one that goes beyond rational pretenses and looks at the classic synopsis of the plot and tweaks it just so. All and all the movie makes me think and that is my judge for if a movie is truly good or not.

"So what did you think?" I ask as the final scene and credits roll.

"I can't believe that you like this movie, little miss prude…" He smiles, "or maybe that is what you always wished would happen to you some arrogant guy would come sweep you off your feet and you would fall in love with him."

"NO! Don't twist why I like the movie, there are three reasons this movie makes my favorite list. One, the main character is rather hot," Embry rolls his eyes, "Two, it isn't sappy like some love stories are where the drama outweighs the comic relief, and Three the movie makes me think, makes me wonder about the actual characters motives, potential motives, and influences. The characters aren't just laid out for you, there is more to them than the movie says."

"All that for this movie, wow you have too much time on your hands. Do you really think that scrawny guy is hot, cause he sure looks kinda little to me."

I giggle, "Well compared to you any one is little…"


	73. Chapter 73

**Okay next chapter is up hope you like Thanks for reviews and to those who fav or alerted makes me happy knowing ya'll are reading and want to find out what Embry and Larke do next i dont even know have the time until my fingers type it out. **

Larke's POV

"Big huh?" Embry says with a grin.

I roll my eyes, "How else should I describe you huh, freakishly large," I say giggling again.

Giggling, I am not the sort to giggle…I must be more nervous to be here than I thought, especially after watching that movie with Embry. What crude thoughts must be flying through that brain of his I haven't the slightest, but I sure know what my mind is lurking on. That must be it, my brain is malfunctioning and the side effect is girly giggling, there is no other reason for the outrageous girly mannerism. I sigh rolling my shoulders and throwing my head backwards against what I thought would be the couch, instead colliding with Embry's arm.

"What's wrong?" Embry asks all concerned, his humorous voice now deserted for a much more somber one. I think I would rather have the humorous Embry not the concerned one right now.

"It's nothing, I am just thinking things over too much." I say pulling my lips into a exaggerated frown.

"Tell me." He states simply.,

"You will laugh because it is anything but not funny," I say glancing at him out of the corner of my eye, watching his position shift and feeling him draw a bit back from me for a second.

I feel him grab my barefeet and draw them into this lap, causing me to fall backwards onto the couch. He crosses my feet and in turn my legs and draws them forward so that they are positioned between his upturned knees. Reaching his hands out for mine he draws me up so that I am sitting cross legged only mere centimeters from him, one of his legs hanging off the edge of the couch while the other remained upturned at the knee against the back of the sofa. He draws the blanket back around me before I even have time to react to the intimate position he have maneuvered me into in only seconds.

I have been this close to him before but I have almost always sat facing the other direction, and now I sit here face to face with him, his large arms resting on my lower back holding me to him in a fleshy prison, and on top of it all one of my feet seems to be just slightly touching his thigh or maybe his butt. I am afraid to move my toes for fear my foot might slip or touch something else. He is talking I see his lips moving, but if this was suppose to help me tell him what I was thinking, mission failed. I want to scream 'abort, abort, red alert.'

"Larke, are you in there?" I finally hear after about 5 minutes of watching Embry's mouth move with no sound come out, who knows how long he was talking before I even noticed that.

"Huh?" I say with much articulation.

"I said are you warm enough, when I grabbed your feet they were freezing?" Embry repeats part of what he said, I know there must be more cause it sure don't take 5 minutes to ask me if I am warm enough.

"Uh…yeah all toasty, feet aren't cold now." I sputter out, yeah not cold now just frozen with fear that is, fear of moving my foot. I am absurd, utterly stupid to think about my foot when I am in this man's arms, so close, I flinch back a bit as I realize again that I am way to close to Embry. I feel his arms tighten a bit around me as he feels my slight recoil, he holds me firm unyielding to my tiny struggle to lurch backwards away from him.

"It's okay Larke," He says calming me slightly, "We are just gonna sit here and talk a bit if you don't mind, no reason to run away from me." I look up slightly to see a warm smile on his face, one that is reassuring without being condescending.

"Sorry." I mumble and relax a minuscule amount.

"Now that I have your attention do you mind telling me what you were thinking about after the movie?" He says with a causal interested voice with a pinch of arrogance thrown into the mix.

"I don't remember." I try to lie to him, not wanting to divulge anything that goes on in my mind to him, especially about my thoughts on the movie that were causing me to giggle.

"If you don't tell me we could always watch the movie again and fast forward to all my favorite parts so that we can try and act them out like they do in the movie. I can be that hot main character you told me was so hot and you can be the various girls in his life." He says smirking at me.

My eyes widen at his comment and my brain instantly wonders what scenes he is wanting to act out. I swallow loudly and bring my eyes up to his from where they rested on his nose, "I don't think. That. Would. Be. The. Best. Idea." I struggle to say, not liking that the idea sends fear coursing through me at the same time as it sounds like something fun and crazy to do. Why oh why can't I be normal…

"Okay." He laughs at me response, "then tell me what you were thinking about when you were giggling."

"Fine," I say leaning forward resting my head on his arm to hide my face from him, " I was thinking about all the sexual stuff that happened in the movie and it must have turned my brain to mush cause why else would I giggle like a silly girl, when I do. NOT. Giggle." I say spilling my brain out into the open.

"Was that so hard?"

"Yeah it was," I sigh.

"You know your not the only one who was thinking about the movie that way."

"I know why do you think I was giggling, that idea was part of my internal monologue-ish dilemma." I groan.

He laughs and slowly moves a hand up and down my back, and not only on my back but under my shirt as well.

"What are you doing?" I ask but his hand does not stop or falter.

"Nothing yet."

"Yet!" I say a little alarmed and my head pops up off his arm to look him in the eye, but I end up smacking my head against his jaw. "Ouch." I scream.

"Sorry, are you okay," He asks his hands no longer on my back but not on the sides of my face while one of his fingers brushes over the impact zone gently.

"Yeah, yeah." I grumble, "Your jaw is so hard, but I am fine, so quit it."

He kisses me on the forehead as his hands return to my bare skin, but not on my back this time, now he places his hands on my hip bones just above my waistband of my jeans. I wonder what his motives are, but push the thought away knowing it would make me turn tail and run at the mere thought of him trying to get me into his bed for more than just sleeping. His hands stay stationary now as his fingers slowly move against my skin, at least his hands aren't cold I think, not that the hotness isn't just as distracting.

"So what is one of your favorite movies?" I ask breaking the long silence between us, not quite wanting what I know that silence would eventually bring.

"Ummmmmm, I've grown fond of the one we just watched…" He teases humor apparent in his tone.

"That is a cop out, and you know it."

"I know, but my mind is far from the topic of favorite movies, so you will have to excuse my inability to think clearly just now." He sighs but continues, " Well, I like the movie Three, it is a horror movie of sorts more like a physiological thriller, you know one of those freaky movies that have you wondering what the psychopath is gonna do next."

"Yeah, I've seen it, it is a good movie, but I liked the book better."

"I never read the book, but always thought I should read it."

"You don't look like the book reading type."

"I do read, well I did but I haven't had much time I guess since I phased for the first time I have had much less free time than I had before." He explains.

"Yeah, I guess turning into a giant dog takes up time, must be hell trying to drink water from a bowl with just your tongue." I giggle again, what is wrong with my frame of mind, I thought of his tongue shouldn't send me into a giggle fit.

"There are other things I would rather do with my tongue than try and drink water." He says in a low throaty voice that has my heart fluttering at what he is implying. I don't know weather to throw myself into his arms or to run to the hills for my sanity.

"Embry…" I start.

"Don't tell me, you didn't know watching that movie with me wouldn't make me want you even more? I know you aren't as naïve as you want me to believe half the time, you have to have a dirty mind to put up with Leah and to like that movie."

"I'm just…I'm not ready to…" I try again but he cuts me off once again.

"I never said we were going to do anything more than just sit here talking, okay…don't get all riled up about a few words." He whispers moving towards my check and catching it with is tongue. He places a long wet trail on the side of my face as his hot tongue flattens out smoothly on my skin from chin to ear.

"Why do you do that?" I ask making a slight face at the feeling of the cool air chilling the wetness left behind.

"I can't help it, something about licking you turns me on, I just get impulses to do it." He replies as one of his hands becomes more adventurous and slinks around towards the front of us and rests on my abdomen.

I am caught off guard by his other hand, since my attentions were all on the placement and feeling of the first hand, I failed to notice where the other had gone. His other hand though not touching skin has an impact far greater than that of where is hands have been on my bare skin tonight. His hand left my bare skin in favor of jean covered skin at the point just between my thighs. I lick my lips nervously as I feel his hands against me, pushing to see where his limits are, probably praying that I won't stop him.

As I am overreacting to the second hand just as I open my mouth to ask him what he is doing his lips hungrily grasp at mine halting any attempts at stopping his advances. I am lost in the feeling of his hot mouth and tongue against mine as he kisses me expertly. Lost in the heat of the kiss and the entire moment it is beyond me how he successfully undid my jeans and got his large hand to become nestled between my thighs.

At the moment that I felt his heated touch, I froze something that isn't passion washes over me, telling me, screaming at me to stop. Tears come to my ears at the reality that something I want beyond a doubt in my brain is causing my body to revolt.

"Embry stop…" I sob and collapse into him tears streaming down my face as I clutch him, my arms around his neck, and slowly I feel his arms come around me pulling me into him.

"Shhhhhhhh, it's okay Larke, I'm sorry I pushed you so far." Embry says slowly without any agitation in his voice, making me feel better than he isn't mad at me for telling him to stop.

I reposition myself a bit on his lap realizing that I am just hanging my his neck and shoulders. I settle slowly into his lap, but gasp as I feel that Embry is obviously turned on still and blush feeling a bit embarrassed.

"Maybe I should move." I manage to say in barely as whisper in response to feeling Embry firmly against me.

"Huh?" Embry asks confused.

"Um." I am at a total loss for what to say, " I think I just need some time to myself for a little bit, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed." I mumble.

"Okay…." Embry says reluctantly, "You stay here, I'll just go take a shower to give you some privacy, and then we can have a midnight snack, I think I have some ready bake cookies in the freezer if you want to cook them or some popcorn."

I smile at him. He stands up and places me back on the couch. He kisses me on the forehead and turns to leave the room. I feel absolutely horrible and I allow my tears to overtake me the second I hear the shower come on.

**Hope you guys aren't mad a Embry for pushing her or at Larke for freaking out, i didn't know where this chapter was going until it got there and it was too late to change Larke's mind over what she was gonna do but the night isn't over yet....Embry is in the shower and Larke is crying on the sofa....what will happen next. **


	74. Chapter 74

**Here is the next chapter who doesn't want to know what happens next after leaving them like that well here you go...Thanks for the reviews, favs and alerts :)**

**there is a poll, okay i know polls are silly but what the hell i dont know what to write next as it seems this story might be coming to a close--so check it out if you want haha**

Larke's POV

"Larke?" I hear and feel Embry's hand on my shoulder, I sniffle loudly trying to still my sobs before I pull my face away from the pillow I have my face buried in. I didn't want him to find me like this, I didn't even hear him shut off the shower. I know my face must be run, my nose is running like a fountain of snot, and my breathing is ragged and I don't think I can talk. I look up at him but leave my face mostly in the pillow. He has a box of Kleenexes and a warm concerned smile.

I grab a Kleenex to wipe my face and blow my nose. I reach out to grab a second one, but Embry catches my wrist stopping my action forcing me to look him in the eye. As his eyes catch mine he joins me on the couch sitting next to my curled up body and carefully eases me into his lap.

"Don't cry," He whispers in my ear as he tries to sooth me rubbing my back gently. "Why are you so upset? Did I do something wrong?"

"No, it's not you, it's me…" I laugh as I hear the cheesy line come out my mouth causing me to start hiccupping.

"Shhhhhh, Come on lets go wash your face and find you some pj's so you are more comfortable." He says as he stands up with me in his arms. I wrap my arms around his neck and breath in his just showered smell letting the aroma wash over and sooth me further.

He sets me down in the bathroom handing me a wash cloth and I look in the mirror and just want to die. My face is worse than I could have imagined, it is red, puffy, and beyond that smeared with dried tears and snot. Horrified at my appearance I quickly turn on the water and start to wash it all away. Embry leaves briefly only to return with some obviously new pj's, he is actually ripping the tags off as I glance over at him. A sheepish smile creeps onto his face as he places them on the counter.

"What are those?" I ask obviously not wanting to know so much what they are but why he has new pjs for me.

"Uh I bought them for you the other day, thought you might like them." He face reddens slightly as he looks at the pjs and back to me.

I cautiously look at the pjs he has before me, they are silky like material with a slight shimmer, and dark red. All and all they look very comfy and I smile at his thoughtfulness.

"Thanks."

"Uhhhh, I'll shut the door and go make us a snake you in the mood for some cookies?"

"Yeah." I say softly as the door shuts.

I grab the pile of pjs and to my surprise a pair of matching panties falls to the floor as I grab the pants off the counter. I almost laugh aloud as I imagine Embry purchasing these things for me, makes me wonder if he bought anything besides these very modest pjs while he was shopping. I blush at the thought. I strip out of my clothes and put on the pj pants and panties as well as the reveling top. Geeesh he could have picked out something a little warmer maybe like fleece or flannel. I shiver a bit, taking a look in the mirror I notice that the top revels much about me and I wish I had left my bra on.

A soft knock on the door bring me out of my mind and reminds me that I am indeed standing in Embry's bathroom.

"Do they fit? Can I come in?" He asks through the door.

"Yeah." I say quietly knowing he will hear me and I am instantly nervous about him coming in…it isn't like I am naked or anything.

The door opens and he peeks his head in the door and smiles.

"Are you gonna hide in the bathroom or come to the kitchen the cookies should be done soon and it is warmer in there sine the oven his on."

"K" I say meeting him in the door way, "You know you could have picked something warmer for me to wear."

"Well, if your staying the night I don't want you to get too hot sleeping next to me you know what happened last time you were." He chuckles probably at the memory of that night.

"Yeah, guess you were thinking after all. Mmmmmmm, those cookies smell wonderful."

"Good, I'm glad you still feel like eating them." He smiles shyly at me a little hesitant probably not wanting the tears to return.

"Yeah." I state simply hoping he doesn't ask, praying he actually does.

He leans over taking the cookies out of the oven, how he knew they were done is beyond me probably a long drawn out trial and error method over the years or something asinine like that. The smell only increases as he sets the cookie sheet on the counter with two dozen cookies bubbling chocolaty goodness making my mouth water in delight. After a few minutes of both of us just staring at the hot cookies he swiftly deposits them onto a large plate and motions for me to take a seat at the kitchen table.

I quickly grab a cookie off the plate and shove it into my mouth swiftly not wanting to be the first one to say anything. As I chew slowly I feel his gaze upon me and despite myself I look up and am blown away by the look in his eyes. Anger, something I suspected would be there is not, but a deep concern plays in his irises almost pleading with me to spill my guts.

"Talk to me Larke, I know I pushed you a bit tonight, but really all you had to say was stop and I would have."

I look down inspecting the warm cookie in my hand poking gently at the molten chocolate chips peaking out of the doughy parts, "I didn't want you to stop…" I mumble as tears slowly start to spill once again from my eyes.

"Then…" Embry hedges.

"I am pretty messed up right now, so much has happened and as much as I want you a large part of me is terrified of your touch. Sometimes I want nothing more than to rip your clothes off and drag you to a bedroom it can only take a second for me to be repulsed or angered to the point of not even wanting to be near you let alone have you touch me or kiss me." I explain myself very slowly not looking up from my cookie and upon completion of my thoughts I manage to get the rest of the cookie into my mouth.

Embry doesn't say anything but reaches for my hand that is resting on the table and clasps it within his. I close my eyes tightly not wanting the tears to keep coming out, "I felt bad for crying all over you and stopping what you were doing when you were obviously into it."

"I'd rather you tell me to stop a hundred times than have you doing something with me that you don't want to do or aren't ready for, regardless of weather I want to or not."

I grab another cookie thinking over what he has said, wondering if he truly means it or if he is just telling me that to make me feel better. It is probably a bit of both I decide, hell he can't be that understanding he is probably horny as hell and me being here is just teasing him. I am probably making it all worse, tempting him and tempting the wolf inside him.

"I can leave if you want." I mutter again feeling embarrassed not wanting to look him in the face.

"I don't want you to leave, I want to curl up with you in my bed and hold you close, I want to wake up beside you and see you in the pjs I bought for you knowing you want to be beside me. Geeesh, Larke, just being near you is more than enough, don't you get it you are my imprint, my soulmate…there isn't anything you can do short of killing me that would make me want anything but your happiness. I may have lapses in judgment about what would make you happy, but I will try my damnedest not to take you like that again. I hope you understand that it is impossible for me to guarantee that it won't happen again or something similar."

"Okay." I say with a yawn releasing Embry's hand to cover my mouth.

"Time for bed." Embry says simply standing up and extending his hand for me to grasp which I do without hesitation. My feet want to drag, but I push those thoughts far away in favor of more pleasant thoughts of being securely in Embry's hot muscular arms.

I stifle another yawn as we enter the bedroom, Embry stops and pulls me close to him just inside the door. His hands rub my shoulders and down my arms smoothing any goosebumps formed there due to the chilly draft that wafts throughout his house. As he reaches my hands his fingers tentatively brush the elastic waist of my bottoms hooking inside the material sending a shiver down my spine at the feeling of his hands against my skin again.

"You know…" He smiles a smile mixed with concern and arrogance, "If you don't take these off your gonna get overheated." His finger trails the waistband of my pants snapping the elastic slightly as he pulls it back. I smile despite my agitation and now fully understand the three piece pj ensemble.

"Yeah, yeah," I say a little flustered now, his eyes intently watching me, either in anticipation for me taking my pants off or in hopes that he didn't just push me further than I wanted.

I sigh and slowly pull the bottoms off knowing he is beyond right, knowing I don't want to wake up all sweaty with my pjs sticking to me like a second skin. I roll my eyes at the hungry look he is giving me and attempt to climb into the bed, but as I am crawling over to my side of the bed I am gently flipped over, my back pressed against the comforter, and the large body of my wolf man pressed against me. He doesn't kiss me, instead he just looks at me his face mere millimeters from mine. His breath is hot and irregular as he judges my reaction, without warning he chastely kisses me on the lips and flops down on the bed beside me.

"Are you gonna get in bed or are we gonna sleep splayed across it like this?" I say propping myself up on an elbow.

He groans and sits up to maneuver into the bed at the right angle, "Come mere." He says as he slides his body into the confines of the blankets. I quickly oblige wanting to get rid of the chill having no pants on has caused. He pulls me close to his body after he tentatively removes his pants, I don't want to know if he has anything on under the blankets now or not. My brain is in over drive about the very topic as I drift off to sleep.


	75. Chapter 75

Larke's POV

Surrounded by heat, is what I expected to feel upon waking up the next morning but to my dismay awake a little chilled, where Embry lay the night before I find it to be cold. He must have gotten up a while ago, the heat already dissipated from his spot. I yawn and stretch a bit wondering where he has gotten himself off to, leaving me cold and alone in his bed. I sigh and grab my pj bottoms from the floor and quickly put them on hoping the little bit of warmth I can harness from them is enough. I listen to my feet pad against the cold wooden floors as I make my way to the kitchen and that is when I realize that there is absolutely nothing to eat or drink here that is worthy of breakfast.

Still a tad chilled I make my way over to the couch and curl into the blanket I had last night wondering how long I plan to sit here before I dress and hurry through the cold to find some food. The front door opens and a gust of cold air bellows in snapping my attention to the invading people and I smile when I see Jake and Embry carrying what could only be breakfast foods and a thermos of coffee.

"You're up, I thought we could get back before you woke." Embry frowns but Jake just smiles at me.

"I just got up." I yawn a little grumbly still.

They come over to the coffee table placing the yummy smelling bags on it. Jake heads into the kitchen just long enough to grab three plates and a couple mugs for coffee. I snatch a mug out of his hand even before he has time to sit back down. I quickly pour myself a hot cup of the wonderful dark liquid and settle back into the sofa watching the boys dish out the food. Feeling much better now that I have my coffee I can only smile when Embry glances in my direction before handing me a heavily loaded down plate of sausage, eggs, and hashbrowns.

"Thanks." I say quietly, " You guys didn't have to bring me breakfast, you know."

"Sure we did, Embry told us he didn't have any food here, the dumbass inviting you over when he knows his food has been rotting away." Jake laughs and shovels a large mound of hashbrowns into his face.

Embry just chuckles sheepishly for a second before stuffing his face with eggs. I sigh at the picture of those two, they clearly are best friends cause how many other guys would help you drag breakfast over to your house so that your girlfriend doesn't have to go hungry or walk outside in the cold. Mesmerized just a little by the sight of them joking around while scarffing down food I in turn forget that I have food to eat also.

"Aren't you hungry?" Embry asks with his mouth full.

I shake my head getting myself out of my daze, "Sorry I was just watching…" I say and trail off before I take a normal sized bit of my breakfast.

Neither one of them responds to my comment, but I know they had to have caught it, someone doesn't tell you they were watching you and it go unnoticed. I eat as much of my plate of food that I can which isn't much considering it was enough to feed three of me. I hand the rest over to Embry who doesn't hesitate to pour it into his mouth.

"That was great, I feel much better." I say stretching my arms above my head and regret it as I feel the chill start to take over on my bare arms.

Embry takes the dishes and garbage into the kitchen dropping it all into the sink with a loud clank. He comes over to the couch and wraps his arms around me from behind, resting his chin on my head.

"So what do you want to do today?" He asks and I feel his chin gently bobble into my scalp as he speaks.

"What ever you want." I say tilting my head back to look at him.

"Really what ever I want?" Embry emphasizes the ever slightly giving in and allowing his face to form a arrogant smirk to accompany his question.

"Within limits, of which I am sure you know." I smirk right back at him with that comment.

"Well, crossing off the top ten things I want to do we will have to settle for one of the less desirable things I want to do."

I hear Jake laugh and Embry joins him as he releases me and joins me on the couch. I look at Jake and then at Embry and notice both of them have large grins on their faces. Suddenly I get an uneasy feeling.

"Why do I get the feeling that you already have something in mind?" I ask Embry whose grin only gets bigger if that is at all possible.

"We'd like to show you something, that is if you want to go with me and Jake?"

"Uhhhh, sure but you have to tell me where we are going first." I say the hesitancy clearly sounding in my voice.

"Well, we will tell you but first we have to get you back home so you can get dressed, and dress warm we will be outside most of the day." Jake says standing up, "I'll see you guys in about an hour or so." He heads out the front door without another word.

"So why is Jake coming with us?" I ask as I head toward the bathroom where my clothes are still lying on the floor.

He ignores my question and heads off towards his bedroom. I shut the bathroom door and change back into my clothes from yesterday feeling the cold stiff fabric against me is not that welcoming. My mind is racing at the thought of what we are doing today, he still hasn't told me, not hat I would object unless it is something outlandish and asinine. I definitely won't be cliff diving in this cold weather, hope that isn't what they have in mind. I run my fingers through my hair before stepping back into the other room, Embry is crowding the doorway waiting for me. I raise my eyebrow at him, but he doesn't acknowledge it and instead hands me my shoes.

"You know you can't ignore me all day if we are spending the day together." I say as I take a seat to put my tennis shoes on.

"Sorry I don't want to mess this up, I'm just nervous I guess." He mumbles. Now that statement really has my mind wondering what on earth is going on. What could Embry want to do with me that involves Jake that he is worried about messing up?

"Okay lets go, I feel grimy now that I have my dirty clothes back on." I laugh and smile but Embry's gloomy nervous mood doesn't seem to lighten up.

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"Okay, I am dressed now will you tell me where you are taking me." I demand as I bound down the stairs my excitement getting the best of me.

Embry smiles not moving from his spot where he is relaxed on the sofa. I scan the room for Jake since he said he would meet us here before we left and frown at his absence.

"He's waiting out back for us, we have a bit of a hike on our hands today but I want to warn you that you won't be walking the entire trip." He chuckles and slowly glides to his feet. "C'mon let's get goin' before you change your mind or something."

"Wait. Where exactly are we going?" I say stopping mid-step when I realize he avoided the question again.

"To a cliff." He says dismissively as he walks out the back door. Could he possibly get any more cryptic, I sigh but follow him nonetheless.

Out back Jake is leaning against a tree casually as if he had been only waiting a few seconds, though that is probably not the case. Jake tosses Embry a small backpack which he expertly catches and slings onto his back. They both smile as if there is some inside joke going on between them that I am not clued in about. I take a deep breath and follow the two wolves straight into the woods where we pick up a trail about 50 feet in. Another day with Embry in the woods, internally I thank Embry for inviting Jake to come with I don't know if I could handle a all day hike just now with only Embry as company. As many times as Embry has brought me into the woods, most of them have ended badly usually with me scared and/or hurt. His track record isn't too good thus far.

We walk for about an hour in almost serene silence, listening to the sounds of the forest surround me, comfort me in ways that I have missed. Just as I am becoming winded we stop in front of a large looming cliff or hill of some sort. I look at Embry and Jake hoping that they aren't considering having me climb that mountainous structure.

"We will take a short break here." Jake announces specifically for my benefit since he and Embry clearly have this all planned out. I take a deep breath and slink down against a large boulder to rest.

"Thirsty?" Embry asks holding up a bottle of water. I nod at him unable to talk and breath at the same time. "Too bad." Embry smirks and opens the water bottle and takes a sip.

Just before I say anything he hands the open bottle to me gently and casually leans against the boulder beside me next to Jake. The water does wonders for my exhausted body, the pace those two set on the way here was more of a speed walking competition than a leisurely hike.

"So you think you are ready for what happens next?" Embry asks with a amused glint in his eye that makes me a little terrified of what he means by that.

"Umm…" I squeak out.

Jake chuckles as he lifts his t-shirt over his head winking at me as I watch him with wide eyes. I watch is fingers grasp the button on this jeans and quickly look down at the ground not wanting to see Jake quite that exposed. My face is surely reddening as I watch Jake's shoes and sock pop off just before his jeans pile at his feet. I hear a quiet chuckle from Embry and I glance his direction to see him intently watching me try not to watch Jake undress.

"What's going on?" I ask my voice not quite as steady as I want it to be, but it isn't everyday a guy as gorgeous as Jake undresses before you. I look up at Embry and can't help a glance at Jake, to my most sincere relief Jake is standing there not nude but in a pair of boxers. Relief must have washed over my face cause both guys start to laugh at my reactions.

"Sorry Larke," Embry stifles his laughter and crouches down beside me, " Jake is just fooling thought it would be funny, but seriously I have to get undressed too if this is gonna work."

I feel my eyes widen, "Why?" More laughter from only Jake this time.

"I can't do it with my clothes on you know…" He smirks and my breath is caught in my throat as I search for reasoning to his words. " You're so funny we are just gonna phase to our wolf forms silly, I don't know what that mind of yours was cooking inside your head but you're gonna have to share it with me." He grins in amusement before trailing his index finger along my jaw line.

"You are so crazy sometimes Em, I never know what you are gonna do next." I hear Jake laugh as I try and regain my composure and send the thoughts of Jake and Embry naked out of my head.

"Okay, the reason we have to phase is because I can't climb this mountain side very well so you are gonna ride on my back so that we can show you the view. You can say no and we can go home, but you should know that it is spectacular to see."

"Okay." I say standing up, " But I certainly don't want to see Jake strip the rest of the way."

"Are you sure? I saw you looking." Jake says suggestively but his laughter gives again that he is far from serious.

"You'll have to carry the backpack and you'll have to put at least our pants inside once we phase or you might not see Jake strip but you will see more than I think you intend."

"Oh and you're okay with me looking at Jake naked?" I counter.

"I trust Jake, besides he is totally head over heels for Leah at the moment, hell if he wanted you he could order me to let him have you." He laughs but Jake glares at him for that comment.

"I would never." Jake says growling.

"Fine, fine, lets just phase and get to the fun part of this little trip." Embry says trying to lighten the mood.

"Okay, Jake could you step behind the rocks or something, no offense but I don't want to see anything that Leah has laid claim to."

"Sure Larke, I'll tell her you said that," Jake laughs as he head out of my line of sight.

"Are you truly okay with this, I mean riding on my back up a steep incline and all, I brought a rope with so you can loop it around my neck for further stability, but don't be afraid to grip my fur it won't hurt. I know my neck is too large for your arms to form around comfortable so the rope should keep you on my back securely."

I smile and walk forward to hug him, " Is this why you were so nervous?" I ask with my face pressed into his chest.

"Partly…" He whispers.

"You going to strip now, I might like to get a gander at you." I blush at the words I spoke and the mere thought of seeing him nude before me.

"Sure, sure." He says with a grin as he peels off his clothes just as Jake had earlier, except this time I fight my urge to look down at the ground. My eyes are glued to his fingers as they work the button on his blue jeans only to shuck off the heavy material only seconds later. My eyes widen taking in his nude form, for unlike Jake, Embry is not sporting boxers. I feel like I am staring as I force my eyes up his body to finally meet his eyes. He smirks at me but doesn't say a word only starts to tremble and without another thought before me is Embry's wolf.

As if on cue, Jake's wolf comes trotting out from behind the rocks, he picks up his jeans within his mouth and drops them at my feet. As if I am on autopilot I slowly bend to pick up the jeans and shove them into the backpack. I jump back and shriek at little when Embry brushes against my side dropping his jeans on top of the backpack. He looks hurt that he scared me so I smile shyly at him. When I shove Embry's jeans into the backpack I feel the rope at the bottom and pull it out.

The rope his relatively thick cotton and twisted, I look it over briefly before I zip up the backpack and sling it over both of my shoulders. With the rope in hand I look over and see Jake sitting on his haunches with a silly wolfie smile on his face, Embry is on his belly crouched as low as he can manage waiting for me to climb on. I loop the rope around his neck securely and slowly roll my body onto his back. My legs griping tightly around his middle and my hands securely on the rope.

"Okay, I'm ready." I say hesitatingly but sure of myself.

The heat from Embry's body is already radiating up through me where I am touching his fur. As he starts to walk towards the steeply inclined trail, I feel nervousness wash over me, but his slow movements rock me into a steady lull and I am instantly reminded of what it feels like to ride a horse bareback. I feel his every movement, his muscles as they strain against my thighs and calves. After about 20 minutes the trail seems to incline at a more strenuous level and my grip has to tighten that much more on the rope. Could I be chocking him I wonder? The thought quickly leaves my mind as Embry's body seems to rear backwards to an almost two legged position to clamber up the steepest point as of yet. My hands loose their grip and I seem to be sliding off of his back.

Just as I think that I am destined to be like the Wiley coyote and fall off the cliff, a large head pushed me up from behind allowing me to get a grip on the soft fur of Embry's neck. My hands grips tight as my body splays out on his back, my legs no longer gripping his sides. My knees dig into his back finally catching my balance I let out a long breath of relief.

Just after I let out my long breath I realize we are on level ground again and are no longer moving. I look around and take in the sight before me, the uneven rocks of the top of the mountain we just climbed. I slide off of his back my feet shaky as I come to the conclusion that my legs are indeed asleep. The second I am off his back Embry phases and scoops me up into his lap, his very naked lap I might add.

"I am so sorry." He bellows out, " you almost fell."

"I'm fine really, it's not your fault and I didn't fall okay," I say trying to dispel his guilt. "Um, Embry could you uh, put your pants on this is kinda awkward, you know." I smile at him reassuringly.

"Sorry," He says grabbing the backpack off my back and pulling out his jeans. Wolfie Jake is beside me his large head rubbing against my side gently.

"Thanks Jake." I mummer brushing my hand from his head down his back in one swift motion.

"Here's your pants Jake." Embry grumbles throwing them at the wolf's head.

"Help me up Embry, my legs need to wake up a bit more and I don't want to stagger off the side of the cliff." I laugh extending my hands up towards him like a toddler wanting to be picked up.

"You look like Amaranth," He laughs but obliges all the same.

"It is just like you said, well worth the hike. I quite enjoyed riding you." I smirk at him for just a second before turning my gaze back out towards the wondrous view.

Embry moves behind me wrapping me in his embrace, his head resting on my shoulder and his heat warming more of me than just my skin. I fight the urge to turn around in his arms and face him cause I don't want to give up the time I have to take in the view. I hear Jake come up beside us and I wonder again the reason for his presence, good thing he came or I might have fallen off of Embry's back.

"I just love it here." Jake exclaims taking a seat on the edge of the cliff his feet dangling over the drop off.

"Yeah, it is quite spectacular, and it isn't just the view it is the whole feeling this place has, I quiet calm a majesty that sinks into your skin. It is something else entirely to look out over the lands below and know that you are so high above." I say leaning my weight back into Embry snuggling into his warmth.

"Thanks for bringing me here guys." I say with a sigh.

**Okay long chapter here, hope you liked it Thanks for all who Reviewed, Fav, or Alerted, makes me happy when i see emails from fanfiction in my inbox :) Well check out my poll on my profile let me know what you want me to write next...or concentrate on I love writing this story the most out of all my posted stories Well let me know if you have an opinion Hope you Enjoyed this chapter it was fun to write haha hope you laughed. **


	76. Chapter 76

**Okay here is a short chapter thought i would update for all of you out there in fanfiction land awaiting the next brief glimpse into the interworkings of 'Hiding from it all' world and the life of Larke and Embry in this fanfictious realm. Well hop you enjoy thanks to all how fav,aler, and review i think my brain is working again i actaully like this chapter a lot you get to see more of what Embry is thinking hahaha but just a glimpse into his werid wolfi disorder or what ever you want to call it :)**

Larke's POV

The darkness encloses upon us as we begin to make the final descending step from the rocky inclines, I did not ride on Embry's back for the descent but instead he and Jake helped me through the treacherous paths. The hike down was anything but quiet as we ambled towards the bottom, our talk was light and airy mixed with a steady hint of laughter from all three of us. It was nice to be able to hang out with both of them, much different from the moodiness that Embry always shown a mere 2 months ago.

I have been in Washington for a bit over 2 month and the summer is already showing signs of being gone for a good long time. I imagine back home in Ohio the trees are just now only thinking about changing colors and the wind only inquiring about when to start to blow its chilly breezes. I would trade it all for the cold chills and stormy skies because I think that I have found a place I feel at home. I know I haven't figured anything out yet mostly regarding Embry, but I feel like when all is said and done he will be some part of my life. I admit I am not quite sure just how big of a part I want for him in my life just yet. I know I love him and care for him deeply but I don't know if I can ever truly be able to be with him again in the ways that I know he wants and needs me to be. I still shutter at the memory of the violence and deeply disturbing nature of him at the falls. I feel like a hypocrite each and every time I try and get past it all knowing that my rational mind wants me to, know that it should not matter as much as I have deemed it too.

I grab Embry's hand as he helps me down the last large incline that will bring us to the relatively flat clearing where we rested so many hours before. With a slight thud my feet hit the ground and I smile at him in the near darkness, only a shadow of his face showing in the twilight. Jake behind me makes a thunk as his large frame comes to a sudden halt on the ground beside me. Jake makes a hasty jaunt around the clearing gathering anything we left lying on the ground and adding it to the backpack he has slung on his shoulder.

My mind wonders for a brief second wondering if I would be at such ease here in the darkening woods if Embry and I were indeed alone. Would I be able to hold it together knowing that I was at the mercy of the man before me? Could my mind escape any torment of the fear my imaginings might conjure up? I guess I will never know, life is funny like that sometimes…handing you something on the very edge of what you fear you may not be able to endure.

"Can you still see us Larke?" Embry asks waving a hand idly in front of my face.

"I can see your hand but I do not have my doggie vision goggles on so no I do not have that keen sense." I say mockingly.

I hear Jake laugh but it sounds slightly more distant that I thought him to be, and almost delayed Embry chuckles before grasping my hand firmly, possessively in his.

"Then I guess I should lead you back through the woods, so as to not let you wonder off the trail, you might run into the big bad wolf if you are out in the woods alone." He says jokingly but it is all too close to what he said in my dream and my eyes widen in surprise but I make not other indication as to what he said had bothered me.

The trees are a blur as he leads me into the night, Jake's footfalls are ahead of us that much I am sure but where we are that much is very uncertain as my feet stumble and slide thought the forest. If not for Embry's firm grasp on me I would have plummeted face first long ago.

The walk back was much slower than the brisk pace the two set on the way there, so the return trip lasted that much longer.

"We are almost back." Embry announces bringing me to a halt abruptly. "I'll see you back at the Clearwater's in a few minutes Jake." Embry calls to Jake and I hear him progress further up the trail leaving us alone.

Embry waits no more than 2 minutes before he drops my hand slowly stepping back from me.

"I love the way the moon shines through the trees at night, the calls of the insects, and the gentle brushing of the trees leaves." Embry says quietly as if speaking to himself.

"Yeah." I say in response to his musings all to observant of the racing of my heart and the sweating of my palms to compose myself to say anything more.

"Does it frighten you to be out here in the forest with me, out among the trees without knowledge of where or how far we are from home. Are you afraid?" He asks his voice very still and quiet as he speaks.

I remain silent unsure if he truly wants me to answer the question, afraid of the very answer I would give.

He steps closer to me so that his body is only inches from mine, his around come around me and I involuntarily gasp at the contact and swift precise movement he made.

"You can't fool me, I hear your heart beat and can smell the sweat on your hands, in a sense I can smell your fear, that is when I am paying attention." He moves his mouth closer to my ear his lips so close his breath heats my skin, "You have nothing to fear…I am merely trying to prove that to you."

"I know." I shutter out.

"But I don't think you do." He chuckles shortly, "Do you trust me right now? Would you do anything I asked of you without hesitation? Would you trust me enough not to ask you to do something I know you would not want to do? What do you say, yes or no?

"What?" I gasp at his weird line of questioning, would I do anything he told me to…like following a command or something?

"Precisely what I said, Larke…Do you trust me enough to do what I say without out question thus trusting that I myself would not ask something of you that I know or speculate to not want or be willing to? Do you trust my judgment in such matters, blind trust, blind obedience?" He asks again in a voice that is teeming with held back arrogance.

"You want…" I start as my thoughts start to unfold, seeing his implications as his words start to sink in. I have no clue as to where I stand at his questions, what does he truly intend, what motives are behind his surprising interrogation?

"Do you want an answer now?" I finally ask after a few seconds of letting my mind reel.

"I make no demands, but what are you thinking, at least tell me something…I truly have no ill intent in mind just merely asking questions that have been in the recesses of my mind." He says taking a tiny step back from me more than likely scrutinizing my face.

"I…do trust you Embry…but if you must know I find your questions a bit puzzling at the moment…maybe we could discuss this…uh, topic at another time when I am not exhausted from a long day of mountain climbing and wolf riding." I finally stammer out hoping to reassure him enough and dismiss the topic at the same time.

"Come, then let me get you home." Embry says without a bit of hesitancy or anger at the dismissal in his voice.

He grabs my hand once again and more than likely received a handful of sweat. He lead me through the trees for about a minute and a half and then out of seemingly nowhere we were in the backyard of the Clearwater's house. I could have slapped him, he made me believe that we were way out in the woods. I roll my eyes at the thought and follow him up to the house, pushing my slight anger away before I have to face others.


	77. Chapter 77

**Okay here is a bit of Jake for those of you who need not to hear all of Larke's thoughts just yet, so here you go Jake's mind....hope you enjoy yeah i know it is short but :)**

Jake's POV

I can still hear Embry and Larke in the woods as I trace the small path back up to the house, leaving Embry alone with his imprint at night in the woods I laugh silently at what I know he is doing. Of course I wouldn't have left them if we were not so close to the house since my presence today served many purposes other than easing Larke's mind at the thought of being alone with Embry.

I hear who is inside long before I step through the door. Answering questions will be a major annoyance but hell they will all know it all eventually anyway, even what is going on right now, I roll my eyes at the thought. Embry told me earlier what he plans to do when I left them alone in the woods, he is pushing her. Embry has a weird mind, I laughed at him when he told me exactly what he would ask her, where did Embry acquire the brain her has now? I surely do not remember him having such a crazy mind before…

"Where's Embry?" Leah questions me harshly as I walk in the house. No hello or hi nice to see ya from her, just where is Embry. I sigh at my internal thoughts and glare at her a bit before I throw myself against the couch.

"He is still in the woods with Larke, he wanted to ask her something before they came back here." I say flatly.

"You left them alone." Kim replies a little outraged at the thought.

"Sure…why not, he has every right to be alone with his imprint, if Larke didn't want me to leave she could have called out to me as I walked away." I say loving the angry looks I am receiving from everyone.

"If he hurts her again Jake…"Leah starts to threaten me. I merely raise an eyebrow at her, "He isn't going to scare her is he?"

"Not much." I reply as I pull Leah down onto the couch with me gaining curious glances from the rest of the room. The bold move catches Leah herself off guard as her body crashes into mine. I series of cat calls and whistles echo in my ears as I find myself planting my lips firmly on her catching her in an impromptu kiss. I know my face must be reddening at the thought of all the onlookers, they all know we do stuff like this but very few have been first person observers to the more intimate parts of our relationship.

"I would never leave your friend alone with Embry if he was going to be a monster." I say just before I catch her earlobe in my mouth and tug at it gently with my teeth.

"Did you three have fun?" She asks trying to ignore what I am doing.

"Sure, sure Larke said she didn't want to see anything you have already laid claim to." I chuckle at the memory.

"Why would she say that Jake?"

"Because I was undressing in front of her and she was having a hard time diverting her eyes."

"You did what?! Poor Larke…Jake you know that you probably scared her to death…she isn't the kind of girl who can just casually accept that someone in the room is naked, especially a man." Leah chides me pulling her body off of mine as she scolds me.

"Actually she did rather well, but don't worry babe, she didn't want to see don't be jealous." I say leaning into her closest arm.

The backdoor opens briefly as Larke and Embry walk in, Larke looks annoyed while Embry as a smug smile on his face that he is trying without luck to remove. I guess his plan went well.

"Hey Larke did you have fun?" Leah asks.

"Yeah, sure." She says throwing Embry a slight glare.

"I'll see ya tomorrow, Embry I think I am just gonna go shower and go to bed." Larke says with a forced smile and a quick half hearted hug.

"Sure, I'll see ya at breakfast." Embry replies before sprawling himself across the living room floor.

"Did you make her mad or something?" Paul asks after watching Larke's dismissal.

"She didn't get mad until she realized that Jake left us only a minute from the edge of the backyard, she believed we were out much further."

Everyone laughs and I take everyone distraction in hand and snake my arm around Leah, brushing my fingers against her soft skin, wanting nothing more than to be alone with her. She wiggles a bit back into me as my fingers begin to trace small circles on her now exposed hip.

"So what did you say when you challenge her for lack of a better term for what you did?" I ask Embry.

"Well, she told me she would have to think about it in more word, but I think I scared her a bit at my forwardness. I don't think she wanted to think about that side of me just yet…the Embry she likes is hard to find sometimes, although I know she has a naughty streak running in her somewhere." He says that last part with an amused boyish tone.

"I have no clue what you two are talking around but when I find out it better not be anything too crazy, or Embry you will not be walking for at least 4 hours and longer if I can help it." Leah threatens. "Come on Jake, I missed you and if you don't get your ass up them stairs you will know what it feels like to star in your own porno, cause I doubt all of these losers would leave." Leah says gesturing towards Paul and Collin who just smile and turn away from her stare.

I obediently follow Leah upstairs with a smile of my own, being the only relationship in the pack that doesn't share the intimate details of what goes on in the bedroom has it's perks but also it's downfalls. I receive the questions the rest of us don't have to bother asking the others. Paul blatantly broadcasts his latest triumphs and doesn't leave the details to your imagination, while Jared and Sam can't seem to help it as much as they try. Quil hasn't quite reached that stage with Claire but I can only guess what will go through his mind in a few more years.


	78. Chapter 78

Larke's POV

The last thought in my head last night and the first thought when I awoke is 'Embry has completely and utterly flipped his lid' and I think I mean it this time. If he thinks he can just push me around, throw my emotions in to a tailspin, and then have the audacity to ask me if I trust him enough to give up my rational thought. Hell, he hasn't just lost it he must think I have to.

I pull my blankets around me refusing to get out of bed, I have been lying here for 2 hours. I know he is down there, I heard his voice, his name, and not to mention he knocked on my locked door about a half hour ago. I didn't respond, avoiding the inevitable may not always be the best solution but it is all I have for now. It is almost lunch time, yeah I am pathetic hiding in my room until almost noon because I don't want to talk about something.

I glance at the clock one more time watching the little numbers flip from 59 to 00 and I sigh loudly as I give up and pull myself out of be and to my dresser. I fumble through my drawers in search of something to wear, tank tops to my dismay are not enough warmth for my body anymore so I have to settle on a hoodie or a sweater of some sort. I grab my college hoodie and a pair of baggie jeans, comfort is a must today. If I have to talk about things that make me uncomfortable then I have to at least allow my body to drowned in fabric. I pull half of my hair back leaving a few stands to fly in front of my eyes. I survey my appearance briefly and I roll my eyes at myself in the mirror, if I was really concerned with how I looked I wouldn't be wearing what I am.

My foot steps signal my rising and entrance into the hallway long before the people downstairs can see me. Voices instantly become a bit more hushed seeing that I can hardly hear them speak anymore, that doesn't set well with me. I force myself to continue despite the feeling that everyone downstairs was talking about me. I descend the stairs and b-line it for the kitchen for a cup of coffee. It is still brewing, hmmm at least someone is thinking about me enough to start a pot of coffee. I can't wait so I grab the pot and quickly pour myself a large cup nearly emptying what was brewed.

Most everyone knows my morning moods now, carefully avoiding me until I have a cup of coffee in my hand is usually the best plan for most. Leah can approach me long before I am awake with a slight chance of not upsetting me but most of the pack don't bother testing their luck anymore. Today, I avoid the obvious looks I receive from anyone clustered in the dinning room and head towards the afghan I know is on the back of the sofa. Once cuddled up on the sofa coffee mug warming not only my hands but also my insides, I relax and take in the surroundings for the first time taking note of who exactly is here.

Peering over my coffee mug and into the dinning room I get a glimpse of Jake, Embry, Paul, and Seth. No one present that is out of the ordinary, those four are a common occurrence here the only one's that surprise me are when any of the boys with imprints are here in the mornings, that usually means everyone is coming—special occasions.

I drain my coffee cup and stand to retrieve some more liquid caffeine.

"Morning everyone." I mumble as I pour the coffee into my cup.

"The zombie is awake now I see." Paul teases and I glare at him not quite ready for her jokes.

"Don't worry, you only slept till noon." Seth says with a smile, "It's not like you slept all day."

I roll my eyes but smile and head back into the living room, back to the warmth of my blanket. As I settle into the sofa I frown at Embry when he follows me eyeing the couch slowly. He proceeds to take a seat next to me before I can protest and protest I was surely prepared to do.

"So…are you still pissed at me?" He asks quietly his frame tensing stiffly next to me.

"Not really, but I don't want to talk to you yet." I say sipping my coffee slowly.

"Why?" He asks as he trails is thumb across my cheek.

I swallow loudly to gain my courage to speak, "I don't know what to say." I quickly glance at him through my peripheral vision.

"You know that you can tell me the truth, you don't have to hide anything from me, I won't be offended by anything you have to say if it is the truth."

"You know those are great words and all but you can't promise that, I don't know what to say words don't solidify anything, you can tell me all you want that something won't happen but in the end you can't predict your actions any more than I can. You don't want to hear words come out of my mouth that I might not be able to back up, regardless of how sure I am of my feelings and my intentions nothing can guarantee that my actions will follow suit at any given moment. "

He looks at me squarely in the eye for a moment before he looks down hiding the pain in his eyes from me. He stands, kisses me on the head, "I'll be back later." He says before striding out the front door leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Only seconds after the front door slams Jake steps into the room looking from me and back to the door in question.

"He left." I say fighting back my urge to run from the room. I hold myself together by sipping my coffee and ignoring Jake's eyes.

I didn't want to talk to him so why is that all I can think of now, I want to know where he is, I want to comfort him, but I don't want to give him false hope. I don't know that everything will be alright, I don't know, I just don't.

I chance a glance up to Jake's eyes and briefly catch his dying frown before he turns to leave me alone in the living room again. Well, Embry did say he would be back later, so I guess it is my turn to wait for him, see as he had waited me out this morning when I hid in my room till noon. I plop my coffee mug on the side table and head upstairs not even in the mood for any of the boys stupid comments and if I stayed down there, comments and jokes surely would reach my ears.

Running my fingers through the few cd's I have on my side table, searching for something mood appropriate. I sigh and select the one Embry let me borrow awhile back, Led Zepplin…Classic Rock music surely would be enough to drown out my thoughts. The music shoots out of the player softly at first until I crank it up louder filling my head with nothing other than the sounds of guitar rifts and steady mind numbing beats. Not being able to bare being in my bed any longer today I sit down on the floor with my back against my bed, lolling my head back, closing my eyes, and tempting myself to get lost in the music. I hadn't listened to this particular Cd many times but that made it all the easier to get lost.

The songs seep into me just as I wanted, nothing exists be the sounds of the music, the lyrics guiding my mind through something that I can't even attempt to know. As I listen I feel like listening to some of Embry's favorite songs in some way link me to part of his brain. I know the songs I listen to and love effect my thoughts to some respect, but it makes me wonder what key points if any does he deem important.

The steady drumming of the final song on the album come on I am draw out of my thoughts as someone turns the volume way down on my cd player, startled I look up towards the door when the player is situated.

"How long have you been here?" I ask quietly as I look up at Embry smiling and leaning casually against my door frame, his presence completely unknown to be until a few seconds ago.

"I opened the door a few songs ago, but I couldn't bring myself to interrupt…I couldn't get passed that you were listening to my cd."

"I was just thinking, thought it might help a little." I say not taking my eyes off him, taking in his disheveled appearance and lack of some of the clothes he donned earlier indicating his recent activity of running like a wolf. "Did you have a nice run?"

"Not really…Sam was out for a run and…" He sighs taking a step into the room. " He doesn't approve of how I am handling things." Embry takes a seat next to me on the floor.

"Why does he care if you screw up?" I ask not liking Sam butting into our business.

"He's Alpha, Larke, and besides that he is someone I respect, and him and Jake have been trying to help me to figure out how to deal with some things. It is not easy for me to accept help from anyone, but we actually might be making progress so to speak…not that I am cured, probably won't ever be, but there are more appropriate outlets other than rape." He looks down as he finishes diverting his eyes from mine as he acknowledges to me that it was anything other than just sex. I wouldn't exactly call it rape so to speak I just don't know what to call it.

"Okay so what exactly did Sam have a problem with?" I ask staring at the side of his head where his hair has fallen into his face.

"Well, he thought that I should explain things to you first instead of just jumping in so to speak…so that you would understand and not be scared, but I never knew how to bring up the topic it isn't that easy for me to talk about it with Sam and Jake let alone even thinking about telling you anything about it." He throws his head back into the side of the bed straining his neck muscles are looking like he is trying to glare holes into my ceiling.

"What about it make it hard to talk to me?" I ask not quite knowing what he is scared or nervous about.

"I don't want you to think less of me…think I am strange, crazy, or just plain out of my mind anymore than you do, I don't want you to know, Larke. Everyone in the pack knows what goes on in my demented head and you don't know the half of it. I don't want you to, I don't want to think twice about half the things that run through my brain sometimes."

I grab a hold of his upper arm with my hands and gently press my forehead against it, feeling the warmth flow from his body into my hands and my forehead.

"Embry, I already know you are a crazy werewolf, I know your sexual desires aren't always going to be the most romantic, but I am still here. I don't have the best imagination when it comes to weird or crazy things you might have racing through you brain, but I can't think of anything that you can tell me that would make me want to run from you." I say mumbling these wording into his arm not ready to look at him, not sure if he is ready to face me either.

We sit there together in silence for another few minutes before either of us has the gumption to say anything else.

"How often do you talk with Jake and Sam about this?" I ask suddenly curious about when and how long they have been talking this through.

"Well you know I have always talked to Sam about my problems, but not until after we went to the falls did Jake start attending my meetings with Sam."

"Were you talking to Jake or Sam when you phased at the falls?" I ask suddenly curious as I remember the pacing wolf.

"Jake…if it would have been Sam I wouldn't have been the one you woke up to carrying you to the car. Sam probably would have sent half the pack to the falls to deal with it if not come himself." Embry looks at the wall staring blankly at it still avoiding my eyes.

"So?"

"So the three of us have come to the conclusion that I need to sorta channel my impulses towards fulfilling but acceptable behaviors, it is those behaviors that I am suppose to discuss with you to see which might be acceptable."

"And doing them will help you stay in control…not become overwhelmed so to speak? It can't just be that easy, what kind of behaviors are we talking about anyway, I get the feeling we aren't talking about doing jigsaw puzzles or taking up golf."

He chuckles nervously, "I'd hope you weren't that naive." He forces a smile on his face as he finally makes eye contact with me. Searching my eyes for something, looking deeply into his eyes I wonder what exactly he is searching for.

He breaks his gaze and he lets out a loud breath, " I don't know if I can do this just yet." He states sounding defeated.

"Just let me know what you can…" I trail off not sure what to say for reassurances when my mind won't let me reassure myself that Embry is not a complete wacko. I can't allow myself to jump to conclusions about anything he has said until I have the whole story, the whole idea. I refuse to do that to him.

**Okay hope Embry isn't sounding to crazy so far trust me i know where this is going...i just have to get there now....i have to get Embry and Larke to the same place somehow but let me know what you think hope you liked it i just finished writing it and it is like almost 3 in the morning so if my brain is warped then so be it it is late...:) thanks to all who have read or are reading anhy who have alerted,faved or reviewed love the reviews and hearing you thoughts hope you'll had a great November Happy HOlidays**


	79. Chapter 79

**OKay so here is the next chapter had a bit of writers block but life is like that sometimes hope you all enjjoy Thanks to all who reviewed or any of the other thingys you can do that show up in my email and make me happy :)**

Larke's POV

Life is more complicated when you have to share parts of it with another person, especially if that other person is endlessly sending your brain flailing with nothing to hold on to as the world you knew is pull out from under you—like a bad magician attempting the classic trick of pulling a tablecloth without stirring what's on top the table. In my case the magician is terribly unskilled and has only managed to not only disrupt the table but to knock it over along with anything else in the near vicinity. Sure, I had gotten a glimpse of what the room should look like for the briefest second, but putting it all right is going to take sometime and my luck is against me for Embry is still knocking things about as we speak, metaphorically of course.

If only he really was a magician instead of a wolfman, he could snap his fingers and fix any problem that would arise. No, that is not the case if I want the problems between me and Embry to be resolved I would have to do it and hope he can do his part also. Lucky me to wind up with a guy that is far more complicated than I ever wish to be, at least more complicated than I will ever admit to being. He has only been gone from my room for 15 minutes and I can think of nothing else besides what we didn't say…I have no problem what was said but I wasn't ready for him to leave me hanging on a cliff so to speak. Now I am stuck waiting for the other shoe to fall and if he thinks I am gonna wait an eternity for him to grow a backbone and just spit it out he has to be kidding himself. I have no qualms about acting like a 5 year old who didn't get her way if he thinks I am going to forget our little discussion.

I roll my eyes as I picture myself throwing a temper tantrum and pointedly dismiss the idea of going that far to get my way, but hell life does not stand still just because something is hard to talk about. Maybe he will gain some perspective on his patrol tonight, hmmm who was he running with I wonder. No matter I am positive who ever it is will tell him to suck it up and tell me, cause all of the pack seem to be behind him somehow or they don't let me know if they aren't.

One more day and I mean that literally since it is now nearly midnight and that means it is Sunday morning and work starts on Monday. The store, a job, and something else to occupy my time besides wolves, I sigh out loud and peel myself off the floor intent on heading to bed finally. I pull myself into my bed not bothering to change my clothes, sleep trying to welcome me long before I can manage to completely lie down. Tomorrow or rather later today will be better.

Ringing, ringing wakes me up and I groan opening my eyes to see that it is still dark outside and the ringing isn't stopping. Does anybody know how to answer the phone? There is no phone in my room but there seems to be one somewhere upstairs, gragh, cordless phones float around the house like they have minds of their own. I slowly at a zombie-like pace follow the incessant ringing, cursing under my breath at who ever thinks it is a good time to call it has to be around 4 in the morning or so. I fumble with the phone that was so conveniently placed on the bathroom floor beside the tub.

"Hello?" I grumble sleep very present in my voice.

"Hello, may I please speak to Larke?" A voice that I wish I wasn't hearing cheerfully rings in the hollow of my skull making me cringe at the thought of what she could possibly want.

"You are." I spit out, all hopes of a pleasant conversation lost at the recognition of the voice on the other end of the line, my aunt.

"Great, how are you dear? Are you under the weather?" Her voice chirps in my brain giving me a clear reminder of why I hadn't called home since I arrived here in Washington.

My aunt a evil copy of my mother loves to talk, gossip, and compare me to my perfect cousins. When her and my mother get together the outcome is never good, sisters alike in everyway evil to the core when it comes to anything that has to do with their daughters. I wonder why my mother gave her this number and how I am going to regret ever giving it to my mother in the first place just from this one phone call. Sure it isn't 4 in the morning in Ohio right now but hell she can do math just as good as I can, maybe better.

"I'm fine you just woke me up." I mumble as I walk back towards me room wanting to lie down to finish the conversation.

"Well, you should be up anyway, you know early to bed early to rise…but any who I just wanted to call you to remind you that you must come home for your mothers 50th birthday party, remember I told you about it before you left any you promised to come."

"Shit!" I swear loudly and wince when I remember who is on the other end of the line.

"Watch your mouth young lady, you will be here your mothers happiness depends on it and I won't have you ruin her birthday because of some stupid midlife crisis you are having halfway across the world. We are you family and we love you so your butt better be on the next flight home cause I need your help finishing the decorations and food."

"But…" I hesitate not knowing what to say or do, "I don't have the money just to fly home for a short trip plus you know I hate flying, I gripped the old man's hand next to me on the way over here and I am NOT in the mood to grope some stranger again." I say defensively wanting there to be some way out of going home. Not that I don't want to be there for my mother, I do love her but hell her birthday party has bad timing.

"Stop, you will be on the next flight home regardless, bring someone with you…your college friend shouldn't mind, you know we have yet to meet her…she's not your, well who cares if she is you don't have to say anything if your not comfortable…"

"Jonnie." I hiss cutting her off, "That is out of line, I mean it is none of your business about who I…well it just isn't and I can't come I start a new job tomorrow and…" I stammer.

"Don't tell me your excuses here take down my credit card number and info and order your tickets online and I expect you here no later than Wednesday night, but hopefully before if you have any sense of respect for your family."

I write down the information and wonder why I have to be such a push over when it comes to my family. It is pointless to argue with any of them once they have their mind made up. I should have hung up, I seriously never thought my aunt would ever put together a party let alone force me back home to attend.

"Call me back when you know your arrival time and I'll send Justin to pick you up." My aunt adds after she rattles on about more party info that I only half listen to.

"Sure, but do you have to send Justin." I whine at the choice for my ride, she knows out of all my cousins he is not my favorite.

"Oh, right…I'll see if Mark will be willing but you know he has a girlfriend now and I wouldn't want to mess that up I'm hoping for grandchildren, so is your mother by the way." He teases but I cringe at the thought at least she didn't mention the M word.

"Okay, I'll talk to you soon." I say wanting to conversation to end.

"Sure, dear be sure to leave a message if we aren't home. Bye bye." She coos and I hang up without saying another word.

I flop back on my bed and toss the stupid phone into the hallway from my bed, it slides across the wooden floor and clatters into the wall. "What ever did the phone do to you?" I hear Seth laugh as he scoops it up and pauses taking in my appearance through my doorway.

"It allowed my aunt to call me." I grumble at him frowning at his annoyingly perky smile.

"You're up kinda early…" He laughs smiling at me, "Guess you want to get back to sleep huh?"

"I can't, life just bit me in the behind and I have stupid things to accomplish today that require that I drink large amounts of coffee." I say grudgingly as I pull myself out of bed to follow the way too perky Seth downstairs.

Once the coffee smell filled the air, I took a seat at the counter in the kitchen and rested my forehead on my arms. Seth gathers his breakfast in silence probably wondering if he should talk to me.

"How is it that you are so awake?" I mumble into the counter.

"Sorry, not all of us are zombies…and I didn't stay awake as late as I imagine you did. Want some toast?"

"Mmmmm." I grunt affirmatively.

I hear a loud clunk in front of me and I look up to see a large cup of coffee right before me. I smile warmly at Seth who just shrugs slightly going back to making toast and pouring his cereal. I reach for the mug breathing the aroma in deeply before sipping the tasty warmth. The pop of the large toaster causes my stomach to growl in anticipation for the warm toasty bread. Seth plops an already buttered pile of toast before me on a napkin and holds up a jar of jam as in a question if I want some.

"No, thanks for the toast." I say with my mouth slightly full of buttery goodness.

Seth sits down beside me with his bowl of coco puffs and his four slices of toast. After about 6 spoonfuls of cereal and two pieces of toast he asks, "So what did your aunt want?"

"Just to remind me that I have to go home this week." Seth's spoon clanks into his bowl at my words, the loud sound of metal hitting the ceramic bowl is the only sound I hear as I turn to look at why he dropped it.

He looks shocked at my statement and my feel my face scrunch up in confusion.

"You're not leaving are you?" He asks in almost a whisper.

"I have to go home for my mother's birthday party." I grumble and Seth seems able to continue eating seemingly satisfied with my answer.

"When is her party?" He asks with a mouth full of toast.

"Uhhhh, shit I don't know probably this weekend, but I was told to be home no later than Wednesday. If I had it my way all the planes in the airport will fall apart, I do not want to go home regardless of the reason, my mother will turn 50 weather I am there or not."

"Why didn't you tell your aunt that?" Seth asks now completely done eating and placing his dishes in the sink.

"Believe me I did, she just about ordered me home after accusing me of being a lesbian."

Seth laughs very loudly at that comment appearently finding it loads more funny than I did for some reason.

"Sorry, it is just that Embry accused Leah of being a Lesbian when she told us you were coming to live here." He says through his broken laughter. "We were expecting her to say she imprinted and then you turn out to be a girl."

I glare at him and at the thought of Embry thinking Leah was a lesbian.

"Yeah well we aren't, nothing against those who are but as you probably have plainly seen I like men and apparently your sister does too."

"Yeah well, lately you wouldn't know you liked men Larke, seeing as every time he touches you you stop him," Seth says pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Seth if you don't want to find out what it feels like to have a pitcher of hot coffee poured on your dick you will leave my fucking sight cause so help me if I can stop myself." I shout at him approaching quickly as he darts out of the kitchen and out the front door. I seriously doubt if I actually scared him but he sure knew I didn't appreciate his little comment.

I grab another cup of coffee and settle into the sofa in the other room resigned to relax the rest of the morning before I have to get to the dirty work of finding a flight to Ohio and a ride to the airport. Oh yeah and I have to tell Embry he won't see me for a week or so and inform the owner of the store that I am terribly sorry but I can't work. I so hate my life at the moment.


	80. Chapter 80

**Okay hope you enjoy fun chapter to write haha laughter expected but too bad if you don't find it funny some might not but oh well Thanks for the reviews they make my day or night or when ever i get them **

Larke's POV

I must have dozed off for the next thing I hear is the front door banging open and shut, "You are not going anywhere!" Embry's voice bellows loudly in my ears as I rub my eyes with my hands removing the grit from them. I blink at the sight of Embry in front of me, his face red and anger or pain contorting his expression as he fights to control his trembling body.

"Who took away your chew toy?" I snap at him not liking his obvious anger and completely ignoring the fact that I shouldn't be pushing him when he is on the verge of phasing in Leah's living room.

He growls and paces before me a few times, his hands clearly clenched into tight fists, and his jaw set hard. I can hear him breathing or huffing through his nose and his feet thunk against the floor loudly.

"Would you calm down you are acting like a rabid dog!"

"No, I will not calm down Larke, when exactly were you going to tell me you were leaving…not that you are but I would prefer not to be told by someone else and look like a fool in front of the pack again." His voice is raised but he isn't full out yelling at me which for him is good, yelling will only make me mad.

"Well, if you didn't notice I was taking a nap which you so graciously interrupted, and excuse me it isn't like I have a fucking choice, if you want me to stay here call my aunt by all means and explain it to her. You better have a freaking degree in debate cause if you don't have some extremely valid reason why I can go to Ohio then you aren't going to budge her." I retort clearly annoyed by his little out burst.

"You aren't going…I do not care what you aunt thinks you are doing…in fact she can't do anything about it since she is in Ohio and you are here."

"I promised that I would before I came out here, so feel free to pick up the phone and get me out of going make my life easier, I won't have to tell the store I can't work, I won't have to order the tickets, I won't have to deal with your whiny ass, I won't have to find a ride to the airport, and most importantly I won't have to deal with my crazy family and anyone else I might chance a meeting with once there." I say tossing the cordless phone at him which he casually catches with one hand as he listens to my rant. "I hate family functions there are way too many people there and on top of that my mother and aunt know freaking everyone, there is no doubt there are people on the guest list I don't ever wish to talk to again." I cross my arms and stare at him.

"What's the number?" Embry says calmly and I notice he has stopped shaking and his face has returned to normal. I rattle off the number almost excited to see Embry fail at talking to my aunt.

"Hello, can I please speak to…" Embry comes the phone with one hand and looks at me expectantly.

"Jonnie."

"uh…Jonnie, please." Embry finishes and then waits quietly while who ever answered the phone finds my aunt. He is lucky she is home, or unlucky depending how you look at it and since I don't willingly have conversations with my aunt it would be unlucky if I was calling.

"Hello, umm you don't know me but I'm your niece Larke's friend and I wanted to call and tell you that she will be unable to come…" Embry stopped speaking mid-sentence obviously cut off by my aunt.

"Well, no but…" He is cut off again.

"It's just that…uh, I couldn't…" Embry stammers into the phone and I have to stop myself from laughing at his inability to finish any of his sentences.

"Not exactly."

"I.I What? No."

"Fine," He concedes finally, "I'll let her know…yeah, yeah nice to talk to you too, look forward to it, bye."

"So?" I ask eyeing his defeated look laced with a bit of shock.

"I don't know where to start, your aunt is…"

"Crazy." I suggest.

"She asked me if I thought you were too far along to travel, geesh Larke, what have you been telling your family?"

I laugh nervously completely caught off guard by that one. "I haven't talked to them since I came out here if you must know, what else did she say?" I ask amused now.

"Well, she basically ordered me to accompany you over there…saying something about not letting you mess up when you finally have a man and mumbled something about your mother wanting grandchildren before she is 60." He says looking at me still with a shocked expression.

"Well, I guess you didn't get me out of going, but you definitely can't come." I say firmly.

"What? Why? I mean you don't want me to come." He asks confusion very evident erasing the shock from a moment before.

"No, I don't want you there, I don't want me there, and what about your patrols and all you can't leave Sam short handed."

"I'm due for a vacation so to speak." He smiles at me, "Let's go clear it with Sam and we can order the tickets over there, Emily's got a better internet connection than Seth does anyway."

I roll my eyes, "Do you have to be so damn bossy today…first you tell me I'm not going and now you are forcing me to go against my will." I grumble as I follow him to the door.

"Are you going in your pj's?" Embry asks eyeing my rumpled appearance.

"No, is it cold outside?" I say heading for the staircase.

"Not at all." Embry says following me much to my dismay but I allow him to. My mind currently on other things such as being in my mother's house with Embry, disaster I would have to call her and tell her I am coming for a visit unless I can stay at my aunts house, but that has it's own problems.

Sitting in Sam and Emily's kitchen isn't really all that bad mostly due to the yummy food Emily always has on hand. Just now I have a large piece of chocolate pie in front of me complete with whipped cream and shaved chocolate on top. I stay silent eating my pie as me and Embry wait for Sam to get home from the hardware store, apparently there is a hole in the wall made by some outraged wolf's fist, Sam needed more wall mud something he goes through a lot I expect.

"So I hear you start working tomorrow is that right?" Emily asks as she pulls another pie from the oven.

"Well, actually I am going to need to figure out how to contract the store it appears I won't be able to start yet if ever," I sigh frustrated with this little snag in my plans.

"Oh, I'm sure it will all work out I'll speak to them for you." She suggests as if it is really no big deal.

"Thanks, I never expected…well anyway your pie is excellent." I say changing the subject.

"It is so nice to hear a compliment without the person speaking having their mouth full." She laughs and smiles at me and Embry.

"I got the last gallon of this stuff." Sam announces as he walks in the front door, "Oh, hey Larke, Embry…what bring you two here hopefully nothing life threatening." Sam say eyeing Embry with raised eyebrows and a firm lipped expression.

"Uh, nothing really Sam, why don't I help you with the wall while we talk, I know you have patched countless holes I've given to your house over the years." Sam grunts and Embry slides out of his chair and follows Sam into the living room.

I tune out the parts of the conversation between Sam and Embry that I can hear, nothing too special being said that I am aware of. Emily takes a seat down in front of me and smiles warmly at me and I force myself to politely smile back.

"So are you excited about seeing your family?" She questions me and I let out a small groan before answering her.

"Not so much as you would think, my aunt already asked Embry if he knocked me up yet, not that he even implied that he was my boyfriend or anything."

"Oh my, well he hasn't has he?" She gasps and places her hand to her mouth before asking.

"Emily, that is just crazy." It is my turn to gasp but I also plop my head down directly onto the table with a loud clank where I disturbed my pie plate.

"Why was Embry talking to your aunt anyway? You should know by now that he isn't the best conversationalist in the pack."

"He wanted to tell her I couldn't come, ha funny thought but had to experience her blatant refusals to listen to anyone else's opinion but hers for himself, couldn't even get out a whole sentence." I laugh and Emily joins me.

"Your aunt is something else isn't she?"

"Pure evil if you ask me, I can only hope I can avoid her at all costs while I am in town, cause I will go insane if I have to be around her for longer than 20 minutes consecutively."

"Wall will be good as new in merely 24 hours or so once that crap dries." Sam states as he and Embry walk back into the kitchen.

"So Larke, I need your opinion on this before I give Embry an okay to travel with you?" Sam asks as he washes his hands at the kitchen sink.

"Uh…" I look towards Embry who is looking nervous as hell, "What do you mean my opinion?" I ask stupidly.

"Well, do you want Embry to come with you or not?" He asks straight to the point.

"Uh…well, that is if he thinks he can behave himself and all…my family wouldn't take it well to see him change into an oversized wolf regardless of weather or not they think I am carrying his child." I laugh.

"What?" Embry and Sam huff out.

"You know what my aunt accused you of Embry, I am sure by now she has called my whole family up and informed them that grandchildren are on the way regardless of what you told her." I explain to the two shocked faces.

"But I told her no…I mean I told her I was your friend even not your boyfriend…how could she still think that I…you and…" Embry stammers.

"Chill, it is nothing you did bozo, it is just how my aunt works she is pure evil and therefore ignore her." Embry runs his fingers through his hair roughly looking slightly exasperated.

"I can't wait until you get home Embry, can't wait to know what happens, good luck." Sam says thumping Embry on the back and I only roll my eyes, good luck yeah that is not all we will need.

**Ohio here they come yeeee i love ohio unlike Larke :)**


	81. Chapter 81

**Okay here is the next chapter hope you aren't too outraged at the characters opinions and such or anyone's reactions just roll your eyes and bear with me life isn't full of the prettiest things all the time no offense intended to anyone at the content of this chapter just as a warning Thanks to those who reviewed keep letting me know what you think even if you hate the chapter...this one by the way while fun to write isn't very good in my opinion not quite in line with previoous chapters hmmm well ENJOY**

Larke's POV

Okay so Sam went over the rules with Embry for the trip, he is going to allow him to go with me alone, imagine that he doesn't need a babysitter, I roll my eyes. Rules are pretty clear, he has to call and check in with Sam or Jake at least once a day, hell they are treating him like he is a teenager. He is to be on his best behavior and at any moment if he doesn't feel like he is in control Sam wants him to remove himself from everyone else.

Okay so the plane ride was a little hectic seeing that Embry has never flown anywhere before he acted like a complete moron. I am on my last nerve now as we head out of the plane and into baggage claim. Baggage now that was fun, helping a werewolf pack clothes, someone who rarely puts on a shirt or a pair of shoes—funny had to barrow some clothes from some of the other pack members so that Embry would look decent.

"Let's just get our bags and get out of this stupid airport before I try and strangle you and hurt myself." I grumble as I walk over to baggage claim.

"Why are you in such a fowl mood do you hate flying that much?" Embry asks completely oblivious of his juvenile behavior that has my head spinning on its axis.

I grab my suitcase and Embry pries it out of my grasp as he grabs his, "Hey, I can carry my bag." I grumble but make not attempt to take it back, secretly grateful for his assistance.

I look around the airport looking for someone I know, people are everywhere and I shutter at their mere existence wanting more than anything to be away from them all. I loath airports for that very reason—people. I scan the crowds reluctantly looking for either Mark or Justin hoping for the former rather than the latter. Life isn't on my side for I catch a glimpse of my cousin Justin.

Justin, dressed in his kaki pants and silly argyle sweater reeking of a preppy arrogance that only he and his lackey friends can pull off. Justin runs with the crowd back home that think they are better than everyone, the group of boys who merely run together because their last names give them the world. In my hometown your last name is everything, if you have one of the old last names that rural roads are named after you can rule the town, waltz up and down the streets without fear of ridicule or reprimand. The very people I hate run in his crowd or one similar. Elitist bullshit if you ask me, who cares if your family has farmed the land around here since the town was started it sure in hell doesn't make you God.

I put on my fake smile and motion to Embry to follow me towards him, as I approach he flips his cell phone closed and eyes me and Embry with a hint of annoyance and pure intrigue which is solely zeroed in on the large man beside me.

"Hey, Justin." I say dryly and receive a nod for my efforts. "This is Embry." Another nod more so in Embry's direction than mine but all the same I feel that is all I am likely to receive.

"Come on, lets get out of here." Justin finally speaks up after several seconds of outright silence between the three of us.

I turn to Embry as we follow my cousin to the car, "Don't mind him, I mostly ignore him, but he isn't the only uptight asshole in my family just to warn you." I say feeling the need to explain Justin's behavior.

"Don't worry." Embry says with a warm smile obviously trying to offer me a bit of comfort.

The two hour car ride to my home town is more than awkward to say the least, I refused to sit up front with Justin opting for the backseat with Embry. It not only didn't help the situation but made Justin crank the stereo probably causing Embry's ears to ring and possibly bleed sensitive hearing and all. Once we got to town I wasn't shocked that Justin merely dropped us off in front of my aunt's house and left without a word.

"Nice cousin." Embry laughs as he follows me up to the front door.

"Yeah well, we don't exactly get along…" I open the front door and step inside to find the house deserted, "Just set your bags here I don't think we are gonna stay here, hopefully we can stay at my mother's house." I say with a grimace as I weigh the two options.

That couldn't have gone better if I had tried Justin has treated me like scum since high school, I wouldn't give his buddies the time of day let alone swoon at their very sight like the rest of the girls in town. I let out a loud sigh and flop down onto the sofa in the pristine great room that is so not meant for sitting in. Fancy sofas that beg for stains are not the likely atmosphere for lounging and kicking back. Embry just stands there beside me clearly at a loss of what to do, gosh I am an awful host.

"You know I hate playing host about as much as I hate large groups of people I don't know." I say and force myself off the over decorated sofa.

"I don't mind." Embry smiles at me ands pulls me into a quick comforting hug.

"I bet you are hungry, lets see what my aunt has in her fridge." I say into Embry's chest.

"Okay, I sure can't turn down food."

We find some lunchmeat and cookies in the fridge and I start to make us some sandwiches from the ham, roast beef, and farmers cheese. Mmmmm, food we haven't eaten since we left early this morning.

"Larke, honey you are here!" My aunt's cheery voice bellows into the kitchen from the backdoor. "Justin called and told me but you know how he is, I am surprised he didn't leave you at a gas station." He giggles at her ill humored joke.

"Yeah well, not like I would get out before we actually made it to town." I say with my mouth full, as I am reminded of the reason for the joke about Justin. When we were in high school he was sent to pick me up from the neighboring town, which he did but failed to bring me all the way home leaving me half way there at a gas station. My mother picked me up later that night but needless to say I was blamed for the incident not the almighty Justin.

"You must be the young man I talked to on the phone." My aunt says with a quirky smile that has a hint of a predatory gleam.

"Nice to meet you ma'am." Embry greets here pulling out his well disguised charm, hmmm where ever did he hide that. He rises from his seat at the table and gracefully approaches my aunt. Before Embry can react my aunt has him in a large hug and plants a lipstick laden kiss on his cheek.

"Why don't you head into the bathroom to wash your face, Embry?" I laugh and point down the hall.

"So Larke it is so nice to see you I missed you sooooooo much, will you and Embry be staying here or should I give your mother a call and let her know that you are in town."

"I think that would be a good idea." I sigh wishing I had a normal family.

"He is cute you know, hang on to that one." She winks at me before picking up the phone.

I just blush and burry my face in my hands knowing it won't be the last comment. My aunt starts to babble on the phone to my mother dropping my name repeatedly and cooing about a masculine friend as she put it. I roll my eyes and catch a glimpse of Embry leaning casually against the shadow in the hallway grinning and clearing suppressing laughter. I am glad someone finds my aunts behavior funny. My aunt finishes her call to my mother and smiles at the both of us.

"Well, your mother is expecting you now, rather excited if I do say so myself. You can take Adam's car, you'll need transportation until you head back to Washington and he can do without it until then."

"I can't just take his car I mean…" I can't just deprive my teenage cousin of a car just because I am in town.

"Nonsense, he is 16 he will do without for the time you are here, you did fine and did have a car in high school so just take the keys." She says dangling them before me.

"Fine." I grab the keys, "Let's go Embry. Call me." I say snatching Embry's hand quickly and heading towards the door. The overwhelming oppressiveness of my aunt getting to me.

We grab our bags and head out to the garage to find my little cousin's car. I frown when I see my cousin's car remembering it seeing as it has been the hand me down car since the oldest of my aunts kids were able to drive. The 1995 Ford Aspire, green with dents and worn upholstery has now graced Adam with perceived ownership after being dragged around town by his 5 older siblings. The car has seen better days.

"Come on, lets get going I am sure you are going to love my mother as much as you do my aunt and cousin." I grumble and climb into the drivers seat large suitcase in tow.

"You know they aren't all that bad." Embry tries to reassure me. I throw my bag into the backseat and Embry follows my lead before climbing in.

I glance at the gas gage and am happy to see a full tank probably upon my aunt's orders cause what teenager keeps their gas tank full. I back out of the garage and into the street wondering more like hoping that my mother is in as good a mood as my aunt said.

"Relax." Embry says taking one of my hands off the steering wheel to envelope within his scorching hot one. The mere act of his skin touching mine has me calmer already, I slouch back a bit and veer out of town and onto a country road. Now I don't live outside of town but I need to relax a bit before dealing with my mother.

"Where are we going I thought you said you lived in town?" Embry questions as I take a gentle curve to fast and ease onto the left side of the road.

"Just thought we would take the back roads across town." I say but what I didn't say is that I am taking a 2 minute drive and turning it into a 15 minute one.

"You are kinda jumpy today huh?"

"Shut up."

"Are we going in circles?" Embry asks as I make another right turn.

"Yeah, I guess you can call it that I only live a few blocks from my aunt so we have to circle back around if we want to go to my house." I laugh a smile appearing on my face at the idiocy of what we just did.

I pull up into the drive and before I can grab my suitcase Embry's hand is already enclosed around it. We walk up to the side door and I walk in expecting my mother to greet up.

"We're here." I shout as I step into the kitchen from the side door. Hot air rushes my face as I step into the kitchen, the oven is on baking something savory according to the rich smells. My mother, her back to us in the midst of slicing apples doesn't make a move to turn to look at us but shouts a warm hello and dismisses us from the kitchen saying she will be done in a moment. I sigh and head into the house leading Embry towards my old room, wondering if my mother picked up any of the mess I left before heading out.

My room is on the second story, it is more like an open attic seeing as there are no doors just a staircase ie no privacy what so ever. Thankfully my mom seems to have picked up my room and changed the sheets on my bed. I frown a little as I glance around at the walls, old posters of bands long forgotten still hang showboating the pretty faces of boy bands and pop stars. I never did spend much time here once I went off to college so I never took any of them down.

"So is my old room." I say and glance at Embry. His reaction is quiet as he survey's the interior appearing to take in every detail.

"The pink walls and frilly curtains surprises me." He chuckles with a smile.

"Yeah well my mother always wanted a girly girl instead of me."

Just as I plop down on my bed I hear my mother's voice bellow, "Larke, honey why don't you and your friend come down and join me for some tea and cookies."

"Sure thing mom." I yell back in the same sickly sweet tone she used. Embry raises an eyebrow at me and I just glare at him for a second before forcing myself to get off my bed. "Come on, time to meet my mother, oh and don't forget the tea and cookies."

We find my mother in the dinning room where she poured three cups of hot tea and placed sugar cookies beside each of our mugs. We take our seats as nervous tension seems to rise high and high in the room.

"So I hear from Jonnie that we should be expecting another visit in say what 7 or 8 months, how far along are you dear?" My mother asks and Embry's hot tea is sent flying out of his mouth and a large coughing fit follows.

"What she hasn't told you or something…now Larke if he isn't the father then I seriously doubt that you should have brought him home." I am seriously stunned into silence seeing as I have never heard my mother talk like this let alone to me.

"Ummm…" I stammer staring at her wide eyed. "I think you were miss informed." I mumble into the teacup quietly not looking at either my mother or the totally embarrassed Embry.

"Well, then…when do you think that might happen are you two serious because Larke you know your children won't be cute little blondes with curly hair."

"Mother!" I shriek at her outright prejudice comment.

"I'm just pointing it out, no need to get offensive, I just always pictured your children as cute little blondes, I don't know why you couldn't have picked out one of the local boys you know they all were so cute as babies with head of blonde curls bouncing through the air. I suppose I should just be happy you picked a man at all seeing as I thought when you moved in with that girl from school I was going to have to start making up stories about you, you know what that would do to our family if you were with a girl."

"Are you quite finished? This is Embry mother." I say through my teeth as I try and not scream at her for her comments knowing full well where they come from and why. Growing up here in this small town diversity is outright wrong so to speak, there were about 5 girls in my graduating class with brown hair the rest carbon copies of the blonde hair blue eyed monsters of their mothers and fathers. Heaven forbid if my children would have dark hair and dark eyes, it would just be out of place.

"Nice to meet you, Ma'am." Embry rolls off his tongue despite the unfriendly welcome my mother gave him. "Sorry, I'm not what you expected." He continues and flashes her a warm almost too warm smile.

"Nice to meet you too, though it would have been nice to know my only daughter had a boyfriend. You should call home more often honey."

"Sure, you had my phone number too and your fingers sure don't look broken." I grumble forcing a cookie into my mouth so that I shut up, my mother gets to me in all the wrong ways.

"So tell me how did you two meet, I sure can't see Larke being outgoing enough to head out to a local bar and pick up a hot stud like you." My mother is trying to kill me I just know it, I just smile and refuse to answer leaving Embry hanging at the mercy of my mothers interrogation.

"I'm good friends with Leah, Larke's college roommate…we just met shortly after she moved in and after awhile we got to know each other better." Embry coughs clearing his throat obviously not sure what to say.

"So Embry what do you do for a living, must be some job if you can take off work for a week to come out and visit?"

"I'm a security guard and part of the local law enforcement." Embry answers like he rehearsed that answer.

"Hmmmm, Larke's never been too fond of cops you know she has broken her fair share of laws in her short life, more than I have in fact."

"Mom, you don't have to drag up any of my dirt, he already knows." I say hoping she will drop it all.

"Sure, I'll just tell him later when your not around." She says quietly like I am not even sitting across from her.

"And you wonder why I avoid coming home. Thanks for the warming welcome, come on Embry." I force out of my mouth as I stand and head up to my room, a sanctuary where my mother rarely treads. Embry gratefully follows and if I am lucky not offended by my mothers harsh tongue.


	82. Chapter 82

**Okay i like this chapter better hope you do too....Enjoy.....**

Larke's POV

The rest of the day Embry and I secluded ourselves in my room, mostly just relaxing and dozing off, I oddly felt relieved now that Embry met my mother and aunt. As I open my eyes I find myself noticing a few things one Embry is staring at me, two it is dark out, and three I am extremely hungry.

"How long have you been watching me sleep?" I mumble trying to focus my eyes in a darkened room.

"Not long." He says quietly brushing his lips across my forehead awakening me that much faster. "Are you feeling better?"

"Much." I say trying to sit up but Embry pushes me gently back down with a slow lazy smile. "What gives?"

As I race to catch up to his line of thinking, I find his body over mine pinning me to the bed in an Embry laden cage, his weight only barely restraining me but expertly applied in all the right spots.

"What are you thinking? Do you like knowing you couldn't get up even if you wanted to? Do you even want up? Your heart is beating fast, Larke….Tell me why?" Embry questions with a deep husky voice that has my insides pounding and my mind losing complete focus.

"I don't know." I answer after a moment of his eyes boring into mine, sinking so deep within me that I feel lost under his gaze.

He leans closer, close enough for him to kiss me, I even want him to kiss me. His breath is hot, too hot on my face and I notice I too am breathing harder. A chaste kiss lasting only for half a second but his teeth take hold of my bottom lip pulling it out gently before he pulls away completely.

"I like having you at my mercy, completely under my control, helpless unable to get away…but you don't want to get away do you Larke?" He whispers breathlessly into my ear suckling my flesh into his moist mouth, causing my whole body to feel overheated.

"Embry…" Is all I can manage to say.

"Don't say it, Larke…I know you want this just as bad as I do." He whispers as he kisses me down my neck.

"Not yet…not here." I stammer.

"Just a little more, your killing me here." He groans as his hands roam over my clothed flesh making me wish for that skirt Leah made me wear so long ago instead of my jeans.

For what seems like endless hours our heated make out session continues but to Embry's disappointment all our clothes remain on. I smile at him shyly as I button my jeans and fix my shirt and I realize that I didn't have a panic attack and I didn't push him away like I did only days ago. I watch Embry sit up and sit on the edge of the bed with his back to me and I can't help myself. I sneak up behind him and wrap my arms around his neck, my knees on the bed so that my face can rest on his shoulder.

"Guess what?" I say quietly wanting to share my revelation with him.

He looks at me and smirks at my silly behavior, "hmmm?"

"I didn't freak out on you." I whisper.

"I know, today is just full of surprises."

"Come on, I am starved we have to go find some dinner I doubt there is anything in the house."

"Sure where we going?"

"Choices are limited small town and all so probably the local bar they have great food." I decide that a Tuesday evening at the local bar should hold too many locals seeing that it is a weeknight, it should be pretty safe.

We decide to walk to the bar, Ronny's since it is only a couple blocks but hell the whole town is only a couple blocks. I point out a few locations in town as we pass that have memories attached to them, but all in all there isn't much to call your attention in town.

The bar only holds a few local faces that I recognize and I just pray not one else I know walks in. We take a seat at a small barely lit booth and I point out the menu on the far wall, the writing so small it tests even 20/20 vision.

"So what is good here?" Embry asks glancing at the wall with squinted eyes.

"Uh…I usually get a burger or chicken strips but anything really it's bar food can't really mess it up."

"Yeah, okay."

We order our food me going with the chicken strips and fries while Embry orders that and a burger. I order a bud light while Embry opts for an MGD. I relax into my seat propping my feet up on the bench across from me and take the time just to watch Embry something I know he has done to me but I have never really taken the change to watch him as intently as I know he has to me.

He is at ease sitting here in the bar, bottle of beer in his hand and his eyes drift around the room. I take a sip of my beer as I study the lines of his face and the hue of his eyes, he is so prefect I wonder why I haven't noticed before.

"You're staring." He teases.

"You stare at me all the time." I retort.

"That's different I'm aloud."

"Yeah, yeah…" I say just as our food arrives and before I start eating I wonder if Embry is gonna eat like a pig or if he can restrain himself. He manages to rein himself in.

We finish eating and pay our bill in little under a forty-five minutes. We head out the side door and into the darkened parking lot where very few cars rest. One second I am walking in front of Embry and the next my back is up against the brick wall of the bar, my hands above my head encased lightly with in one of Embry's large hands. My protests are stopped before one syllable is uttered, Embry's lips against mine, his tongue making me forget about anything other than the pure pleasure I get from kissing the man. His free hand does not sit idle but snakes up my t-shirt and into my bra.

"Geesh Golly that is you Larke, I would never have thought in a million years that I would find you outside Ronny's with a man pressing you against the wall in a heated embrace." A sarcastic voice rings in my ears, a voice that could only belong to Marcie. Embry's hands and mouth still at the sound of my name and makes an effort to readjust before he pulls me quickly against the front of him, wrapping his arms around me and locking them at my tummy.

"Hi, Marcie, I haven't uh…seen you in a while." I stammer out trying to push away embarrassment of being caught by someone who use to be one of my best friends.

"Yeah, looks like a lot has changed over the years, who is this studly man that can't keep his hands off your prude ass." Marcie drones with a healthy gleam of jealously.

"Umm, this is Embry we're here to visit my mom for her birthday."

"Cool, cool so were you gonna hide the whole time you're here or are you gonna come hang out with the gang and all." She says dryly.

"I don't know…" I hedge not really wanting to go knowing full well what hanging out with the gang and all entitles, not sure if I want Embry to know down to the detail what my old friends do. "I mean we have had a long day and all and I wouldn't want to impose."

"Nonsense you know you're always welcome you're like my little sis." Marcie says with a smile.

"You do remember that I'm older than you right." I laugh but she just shrugs.

"Come on, caveman there will be fine it's not like he is gonna turn us in or something right, you wouldn't ever mess around with someone who wasn't cool."

"I…I. don't think it's such a good idea maybe we can get together at the park tomorrow or something."

"Yeah sure whatever. I'll call you." Marcie says with a flick of her wrist and continues down the sidewalk.

"Are you okay?" Embry whispers in my ear and I relax into him letting him take my weight.

"Yeah, lets just get out of here before I run into anyone else."


	83. Chapter 83

Larke's POV

Running into an old friend is not something high on my list let alone hanging out with the gang and all, too many drugs will be floating around that house tonight. Coming home sure has set me at ease about many things but hell I could deal without having to talk to people I know or used to that is. None of them know me now, they know the idea of what I use to be, part of their group their party the never-ending array of smoke and pills.

Today will be better I think as I snuggle closer to Embry relishing in the warmth of his body against my bare skin. Hmmm, how did my skin become so bare again I swear I wore pants and a shirt to bed, yup I have nothing on but a pair of panties and Embry is also absent of all clothing but his boxers. Oh well, I think and force my eyes shut once again it is still way to dark out to get out of bed.

"Larke!" I hear my mother call her footsteps shortly behind her voice, the groan and creak of the stair registers in my ears long before the thought of actually moving or waking up does.

"Oh my goodness, Not in my house you don't!" I hear my mothers rattled screech and my eyes pop open to see her red face and horrified expression.

"Morning Mom." I grumble still wondering why she is so upset.

"Don't you morning mom me, get your naked ass out of bed and get some clothes on, you will not be conceiving grandchildren in my house under my roof!" By now I have Embry's shirt over my head covering my apparent naked upper half and I take in the faces of those around me, namely my mother's.

I don't think I have ever seen her this flustered or angry and I sneak a glance at Embry who is fighting with his jeans in an attempt to cover his almost naked form much more readily than I am.

"Mom I can explain it's not what it looks like I swear I went to bed with clothes on…" Her eyes narrow on Embry, shit, "No wait that came out wrong…it was just hot in here and…"

"Hot…is that what you kids call it…I surely hope that this…this behemoth isn't taking advantage of my little girl. I want you two dressed and down stairs now…I'm calling your uncle." With that she turns and heads downstairs to call my uncle, how could it get any worse.

"That did not go well, I can't believe she is calling my uncle."

"Uh, should I be worried is your uncle gonna want to kill me." Embry is now standing in only his low riding jeans, his hand rubbing the back of his neck as nervous energy radiates from him.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine, just get dressed." I say as I grab my own suitcase and riffle through for some clothes.

My uncle the very person that my mother turns to for help he has always taken the role of being there as a semi substitute father. If she has called him I no doubt will have to deal with having the responsible sex talk from him either that or Embry will get it either of which I will be present if I have any say in the matter. Uncle Bob can be a big teddy bear most of the time but his authoritative side has come out a time or two when I was in high school.

"I hate to ask but what is going on between you and your mother?" Embry asks casually as he pulls on a black tank top.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, last night avoid her knowing full well she cooked dinner and now she did a complete 180 on us, yesterday she was talking adamantly about grandkids and today you would think she thought you were a nun."

I sigh wondering when this would all come up, not quite ready to talk about it all just yet.

"You aren't the only crazy person in my life Embry, I'll explain it all to you a bit later after we deal with my uncle."

"Kay I have some things to talk to you about too…c'mon lets go face the music."

I laugh and head downstairs only to find that my uncle is already here and calming my mother down by giving her some tea thus giving her something else to think about.

"Hey, Uncle Bob." I say quietly as he turns away from the den where he left my mother with her tea, cookies, and a cooking magazine.

I am greeted with a warm hug from one of the only people in my family that I ever look forward to seeing. I let out a loud breath and follow him into the family room with Embry in tow. We all take a seat at the cluster of chairs in the far corner of the room, Embry looking nervous as all get out but I myself couldn't be more relaxed—my uncle is here to save the day.

"So I've heard quite a bit about you young man…care to explain your role in my favorite niece's life or should I just assume based on the rumors I've heard." Uncle Bob says with a calm voice but an carefully narrowed eye on Embry.

"Well, Sir I don't know what rumors you have heard or from whom but my role as you put it ummm, I love your niece very much and I'm not letting her out of my life without a damn good fight." Embry replies using his manners but the shakiness in his voice gives away his uneasiness.

"Good, good looks like you found yourself a keeper here Larke." My uncle says with a wink towards me, "Now about your mother's call this morning, I suggest that you two keep your clothes on while your in town…I don't want to have to calm your mother down again or see her try and throw Embry out with only his undergarments on. I just don't think I could stand for the neighbors to see the both of you nearly nude arguing on the front lawn, this town talks enough already."

"Gotchya no nude escapades with my mother…" I laugh.

"No nude escapades with Embry either, as much as I know your mother wants grandchildren I very much doubt that she wants them before you are married."

"Okay, okay we will behave won't we Embry." I say trying to ease the tension I know Embry is feeling right about now, discussing having sex with me in front of my uncle, hell my anxiety is through the roof.

"I suggest you two come with me now and let your mother rest and have some quiet today, she doesn't need anymore excitement." My uncle says standing.

"Sure, I'll meet you there, I thought I would show Embry around a bit today since I have Adam's car and all."

"I'll expect you for dinner at 4, Jonnie is making enough food to feed three third world countries."

"Good, Embry likes to eat." I smile at my uncle as he heads out the front door closing it quietly behind him.


	84. Chapter 84

**Okay i know it is short but hope it gets the points across and all EnJOY thanks for the reveiws**

Larke's POV

We drive across town and I point out my high school to Embry as we pass it, nothing too big in this small town of just over 1000 people. The town looks exactly the same as I remember it when I was a child, nothing ever changes except that people get older. I steer Adam's car out of town and towards the much larger town, the town holding the local walmart, fast food, and all the places that were conveniently out of my grasp as a small town teen.

"So where are you taking me?" Embry asks as we pull out onto another deserted road lined with cornfields.

"Well, as much as I love my uncle a day surrounded by him and my cousins doesn't seem too appealing right now when all I want is to be alone with you."

"Really, gonna break your word to your uncle that fast." Embry says smirking at me.

"That's not what I meant, I mean I want to explain some things to you and would rather not have an audience."

"Sure, Sure… no audience huh where are you gonna take me?"

"On the other side of this town we are coming up to my uncle owns a section of woods where he goes deer hunting…since it isn't deer season yet I thought we would head over there." I say with a slight smile and a shrug.

"Your family owns woods our here all I see are a bunch of cornfields." Embry says skeptically.

"Trust me there are trees here, but nothing like your use to most of the trees on my uncles land are small new growth all growing under the select few older trees, sugar maples, sycamores, birches and a few oaks. Nothing like the forest surrounding La Push so if you go all wolf on me it would only take you two minutes to reach the edge of the tree line."

"Wow you would really be okay with me phasing here…"Embry replies wistfully.

"Sure but after we talk, I want to know what you have to say too."

He nods at me as I pull onto a smaller road that is usually only used for farm traffic, but leads up to the nearest side of my uncle's property. I back the small car off the road and into the grassy field off the side of the road. We get out of the car and Embry scans the surroundings like he is taking it all in, every smell and scent that his wolfie nose can pick up.

"Come on, I know these woods well there is a clearing east of the center that has a good place to relax in." I take the lead walking towards the clearing with more grace than Embry has probably ever seen, since in Washington the terrain is anything but friendly to my feet or balance but here my feet are surefooted and it shows in my confident walk that I grew up roaming these woods.

We come up to the clearing in a 10 minutes and as I thought a large log lay slightly askew against a larger tree stump making a intimate place to rest, leaning against the logs. I smile at the happy memories I have of being here with my uncle and the not so remembered memories of being here at night with my friends. I take a seat at the base of the stump and Embry follows suit. I take a deep breath and let the dry heat of the day wrap itself into my senses and wash over me like a gentle rain.

In the distance a squirrel is chattering and the birds are chirping relaxing me deep down to my soul. I allow my head to thump back against the log as I slide down a bit reclining leisurely in the dusty dirt. I glance over at Embry and catch his eye for a brief second before I gain my courage to tell him about my family.

"I know I should have told you before you met my mother but I never knew how to bring it up. She isn't exactly herself all the time, I try not to let it bother me so in my case it comes down to utter avoidance. She has a few problems clinically speaking a personality disorder, she is sorta just a little high strung at times and can flop back and forth between being overly oppressive or out right relaxed. Depending on her mood she can be depressed at times or a bit crazy like she was this morning. My uncle is one of the only people that can calm her down though I have had success in the past." I smile a small smile at Embry as I let him take in my words.

"Okay, that explains a lot I guess I don't know much about mental illness or anything along those lines."

"It's okay I don't understand much of it either, I refused to take psychology in college cause I didn't want to know, I mean I love my mother but to scientifically explain why she acts like she does seems like taking away who she is, I would rather just know that she is my mom and accept her for who I know her to be."

Embry puts his arm around me pulling me closer to him, so close I can inhale his scent a strong smell reminding me of everything I love about Washington. The woodsy smell overshadows any hint of forest that could ever be smelled in this small scrap of tree land here in Ohio. Embry smells of the rain, the shadowed days, the cool chilled wind, the salt and water of the sea, all rolled into a fragrance that when combined somehow sends chills down my spine and a weighs down on my heart.

"So Embry, what exactly were you going to tell me?" I ask scooting closer to him.

"Well, I wanted to explain what Sam, Jake, and I have been discussing." Embry says pulling me into his lap so that I am straddling him.

"Okay." I say as I wriggle into a comfortable position on him.

"I don't want you to take this the wrong way…but do you like when I take control? When I hold your wrists above your head like I did last night at the bar?" Embry asks almost shyly…completely opposite of the man who he is talking about it almost makes me laugh but instead I just smile at him.

"When your in control of yourself I do, but…" I stop as memories of him not in control stream back into my mind rousing fear to coarse within me, but I manage to push it way and focus on the man in front of me instead of the one from my memories. "I still remember the look in your eyes and the sound of your voice when you weren't…"

Embry's eyes close and he lets out a breath slowly, "If I could take it all back I would…" He quietly breaths out, "And that is what this is about, not letting it come to that point again. When do I feel a little bit of the tension I feel from the wolf lessen, but so far it's not enough…do you remember what I asked you in the forest awhile back?"

"Yes, about trusting you enough to..to let you control me…" I whisper as I stare at his neck tactfully avoiding his eyes as his head rolls forward.

"It wouldn't be an all the time thing Larke, more like a game we play and as we get more comfortable with each other we could try other games." Embry pulls my chin up with his forefinger forcing me to look in his eyes, his eyes deep with compassion, understanding, and love mingling with lust.

"So this is what you and Sam and Jake have been uhhhh, discussing?" I say a little embarrassed that Embry has been talking about our sex life or lack there of with his buddies.

"Yeah, but don't think it's easy I mostly listen to the two of them banter on about things I should try, I feel kinda weird, I mean talking with the guys about sex isn't a problem but having them suggest things for us to try is and quite weird especially coming from Jake."

"Wow…uh I don't know what to say I mean I want to help you control this but I'm not sure I'm up for a bunch of kinky sex games."

"Don't worry Larke…I am far from ready to do anything extreme, I've never done anything like this before either, hell only when I'm not in my right mind have any of these things ever reached my brain, and before all this Larke only in my wildest dreams."

"So you want me to believe you're an innocent little puppy not a big bad wolf." I giggle.

"Well, I wouldn't exactly call me innocent, I like to believe I'm a little naughty…" He says smirking at me with a devilish glint in his eye.

I laugh at him not quite sure what to say, not sure if I want to say anything that is running through my mind at the moment. Not ever in my dreams did I ever imagine Embry wanting to do anything remotely close to what I think he, Sam, and Jake have been discussing.


	85. Chapter 85

Larke's POV

"So are you gonna phase into a wolf?" I ask suddenly breaking the silence between us.

"Sure you gonna watch me?" He smirks raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"Yeah sure, just keep your hands to yourself, I wouldn't want to break my promise to my uncle just yet." I laugh as Embry stands.

"I don't know maybe you could help me out of my clothes I don't think I have enough strength."

"Don't count on it as much as I would love to…" I start but am cut off.

"Really? You would love to take my clothes off…now I might just have to remember that one for later."

"Shut up and strip." I laugh which he does and this time seeing Embry naked isn't as much of a shock as the last couple of times.

Watching him change into a wolf will never get old as far as I am concerned, but it is just so amazing one second he is Embry and the next he is all wolfie and fluffy. He pads his way up to me and my hands can't help but roam all over his fluffy body. He is so soft and it feels like ages since he let me run my hands through his fur and really get in a good pet.

Before too long Embry is bouncing around in the clearing enjoying his freedom as a wolf. I wonder if he can hear his pack does it work like that, did Leah keep in contact that way or are we too far away. Mental note made to ask him after he has his wolfie fun. Embry runs around the clearing a few more times before taking off out of sight only to come bouncing back into view a minute later. He keeps this up for about ten minutes before he throws himself on the ground before me panting and tongue hanging out.

"Are you about done?" I laugh as he rolls around on the ground.

He rises to his feet and shakes like a wet dog sending dust flying into the air in a cloud. Embry puts his clothes back on minus the shirt stating plainly that he is hot, I decide it is as good a time as any to ask. "So can you hear your pack when you are this far away?"

"I can clearly tell they are out there but their voices are so muffled it would take too much concentration to hear them clearly."

"So if Leah ever phased when she was here you wouldn't have known?"

"Probably not, not that we would have wanted to hear her she was quite the bitch before she left to come out here."

"Embry you do know she is my best friend, I don't want to hear you bad mouth her." I say leading the way out of the woods.

"I'm sure she would agree, anyway now that her and Jake are uhh, together it'll be fine unless one of them happen to ever imprint." Embry says.

"Huh?" I ask confused by the question why would they want to imprint on someone else when they obviously are happy together.

"Nevermind, it probably won't happen anyway." Embry grumbles and I forget it as we come back out into the open skies and head to the car.

We head over to my aunt and uncle's house for dinner, amazingly we spent quite awhile in the woods leaving us only 20 minutes to get back to the house. Dinner with my aunt, uncle, and cousins how wonderful.

"Uhhh, I hope you are ready for this my cousins are going to be there and maybe some others for my family, I don't know exactly." I say as we turn into the drive of my relatives' house.

"Sure, sure." He replies.

I scan the cars in the drive and those on the road and suddenly feel kinda sick upon recognition of several family members I would rather not see.

"C'mon lets get this over with so that the week can go by that much faster." I grumble and drag Embry up the porch steps and into chaos.

"Hey everyone." I say quietly as we enter the living room full of my family.

"Hey Larkie," I hear my cousin Mark shout loud above the rest of the families hellos.

I reply back using the silly nickname I've called him since we were kids, "Hey Marky."

He comes lumbering out of the family room to greet me eyeing up Embry as he get closer. I am squashed in a large hug before I can even remember to protest.

"So, this must be the guy I've been hearing all about, you saved me from so much teasing since he called here, mom has just been going on and on about how you won't become a crazy cat lady anymore."

"Funny. I say dryly, "Embry this is my cousin Mark, he is Justin's younger brother."

"Would have never guessed they were related." Embry says smiling.

"Yeah well, don't tell Justin but he is adopted…it would ruin his image." Mark laughs.

"So your girlfriend isn't here I take it?"

"Uhhh, no she is at school, taking night classes at the community college, but she'll be at your mother's party."

"Don't remind me why I'm here, please…anyway where is a safe place to hide until dinner I really don't want to mingle with everyone." I ask Mark.

"The rest of us are hiding in the family room, but Justin is in there so you might want to head out into the garage where my dad and Uncle John are playing darts."

"Great." I say grabbing Embry's arm and heading out of the family room and rounding about into the garage. Embry follows quietly as I sneak us away from the crowds and into the seclusion of the garage. I lead us to a worn out couch against the far wall with a view of the guys playing darts.

"Why are you hiding out here Larke?" My Uncle John asks as we plop down.

"Too many people inside and I don't want to be cornered with questions just yet, I'll wait for dinner when I can shove my mouth full of food if I don't want to answer."

My uncles laugh and my Uncle John takes a minute to look over Embry.

"What's your name son?" Uncle John bellows across the garage towards Embry.

"Embry."

My uncle just raises his eyebrows but doesn't question any further.

"You play darts?" My Uncle John asks.

"Can't say I ever have?" Embry replies and I am sure that my uncles are gonna take Embry away and make me go inside.

"Well now, I can't have my niece dating someone who doesn't know how to throw a good game of darts, why don't you come join us? Larke that means you can go off back to the house and help your aunt with dinner." My uncle says winking at me and throwing a triumphant smile my way.

"Sure thing, you better not hurt him." I grumble as I leave Embry at the mercy of my uncles.

"Don't worry Larke, I'm sure he could kill us both with both hands tied behind his back." They laugh as I leave the garage.

I walk into the kitchen and just stand there waiting to be noticed by my aunts. It only takes a few minutes and they have me making an apple streusel.

"So where is that handsome boyfriend of yours?" Jonnie cheerfully asks.

"In the garage playing darts." I mutter as I peel and slice another apple and remember that I hate apple season.

"Aww your uncles are giving him a hard time I bet." She coos and I roll my eyes concentrating on my apple.

The dreadful question and answer session goes on for the whole streusel recipe and when I finally pop it in the oven I am wishing someone would cut my eardrums out. 15 minutes later and it was dinner time and I better be sitting at the kids table, I can only hope.

I head out to the garage to tell my uncles and Embry that dinner is ready with the intention of snagging Embry for about 15 minutes thus there will be no room left at the main table so off to the kids table we will go.

"It's time to eat." I shout as I come into the garage.

"Great, I'm starved." My uncles say simultaneously and head inside immediately.

"Your uncles are great Larke," Embry says grinning.

"Yeah well, their wives are evil incarnate." I groan flopping down on the old couch.

"Aww, poor Larke and here crazy family." Embry teases joining me on the couch.

"I left you with the best of the crowd so don't make fun just yet." I laugh.

"So what exactly are we waiting for, all the food to be gone?"

"No, silly we are not at home remember, there is plenty of food, I just want to sit at the kids table so that I don't have to field questions while I eat…so the longer we wait the more seats that will be taken and poof kids table here we come."

"When you say kids what are we talking about?"

"Well, mostly just teenagers and pre-teens none of us are that young anymore…their questions will more than likely be easier."

"Okay I just didn't want to sit with a bunch of 5 and 6 year olds." I laugh and stand up, "C'mon lets start inside the line should be dwindling by now."

We head inside and grab our plate of food, the line all but gone except for a couple of younger cousins who join the line behind us. I pile extra food on my plate for the purpose of letting Embry eat it since I doubt wolf sized portions would look normal, this way he would only have to get seconds instead of thirds. We head into the dinning room and I grumble as my aunt flags us over to two seats she apparently saved for us.

"What were you two doing in the garage alone all this time? Do you remember Bob when we would sneak off to be alone like that…oh it is just so darn cute I can't stand it." Jonnie coos.

I roll my eyes and start to eat cursing my luck in my head.

"What did you bring to wear for the party Larke?" My aunt asks suddenly and I just want to die.

"Uh was I suppose to bring something special?" I ask dumbly.

"A dress would be most appropriate although a skirt is acceptable if you must."

"I don't have either."

"Great! We will be going shopping tomorrow and I take it that Embry didn't bring suitable attire either?"

"You never told me that I needed to inform him?" I mutter under my breath seriously not liking the idea of wearing a dress.

"I've never seen you in a dress." Embry says making my two aunts gasp loudly in absolute horror.

"You don't dress up for this man, Larke, hasn't he ever taken you on a date?"

"I wore a skirt once." I reply quietly shooting Embry an evil glare.

"Don't look at him like that dear, you are a lady and you should act like it instead of traipsing around in the woods all day, climbing trees and chasing frogs. No wonder it took you so long to find a guy." My great-aunt Shelly chirps in loudly from across the table.

"Chasing frogs huh?" Embry chuckles beside me making me want to smack him.

"Of course she was a regular tomboy never once did I find her roaming around town with anything less than mud stained clothes and a frog or lizard in her clutches, kept that up damn near till she turned 15." My aunt reminisces. "After that it didn't get much better wear all them baggy clothes, she couldn't get a guy cause she dressed like one didn't show off any of her curves…the guys in town probably figured she was flat as a ironin' board. My oh my I remember Larke sure has come along way since them days I tell ya what. Look at the girl."

I roll my eyes as I listen to my aunts tell Embry all the embarrassing details of my teenage years and I want to run and hide when I hear the next part.

"Well you would never have guessed that tomboy Larke knew any guys when she was in high school, she just never hung out with the ones that went to her school, but I tell ya what I sure don't know who they were but on the weekends her and that group of friends sure had plenty of little hotties to choose from. She wasn't shy around them neither I saw her smacking and chasing one of them boys clear across the Wal-Mart parking lot once laughing like all get out."

"Could you guys please stop now?" I groan hiding my face in my hands as I try and remember who exactly my aunt was talking about. I come up blank, can't remember even doing that.

I hear Embry chuckle and place his arm around me, " It's okay Larke, I don't mind hearing your silly stories." Embry whispers in my ear so quietly I doubt anyone else could hear him speak, which by the way causes my aunts to coo and aww over his 'sweet nothings' he must be whispering.

"Thanks for dinner but I think we will skip dessert." I say rising in urgent need to escape my family.

"Now Larke don't go home and upset your mother again." My uncle warns me as Embry and I start to head out the door.

"What did she do to upset her dear mother?" Someone asks.

As we leave I hear my aunt start to explain, "Well, this morning Bob get a call…" I groan and rush out the door before I can hear the rest of the tale.

**Okay hope you Enjoy Larke's family haha family is so fun when your not the one being scrutinized...anyway hope you Enjoyed it check out my new story "A fateful begining' first chapter is up......**


	86. Chapter 86

**Okay so next chapter is up yeeeee hope you like more zanie times wit Embrya and Larke and her insane family bet you all are dealing with your own families with the holiday season being here and all i can't wait to see mine for the holidays but then again.....ENjOy**

Larke's POV

The promised shopping trip is today and of course my aunt had to make it a family affair and bring two of my cousins along. Adam and Mandy the two youngest of my cousins would be joining us, seeing as their mother doesn't trust them to dress themselves any more than she would trust me not to wear jeans and a t-shirt to the party. The five of us piled into my aunts minivan and set out on our trek to the dreaded mall.

There are several reasons why I hate the mall the most important being all the people there. The second being how the workers attack you when you enter their store, not one second after entering some trendy retail store and pow 'can I help you?' is bellowed at you in a overly eager voice. The other reasons are trivial such as the food court smells, center isle carts selling crap, and not to mention those try me out areas with recliners and such. All in all mall shopping is pointless, but according to my aunt and cousin it is the only place to find a great party dress. Roll me over and stomp on my skull, put me out of my misery. At least Embry has to suffer right along with me.

Trying on dresses must not be in my genes cause Mandy takes about two seconds per dress and it takes about 10 minutes for me to even figure out which end is up. After about 5 stores Mandy and I finally find dresses that are appropriate and my aunt drags the boys away to find them some dress pants and button down shirts, leaving me and Mandy in the some random shoe store. Twenty minutes later we are ready to leave totaling our entire shopping trip to about 6 hours now without lunch.

I ended up with a knee length halter dress the flares out at the bottom while my cousin convinced her mom to let her have a short sweater dress that in my opinion wouldn't allow her to sit down without flashing everyone. I was not looking forward to wearing the dress I was forced to get let alone if I had to wear what she picked out.

The rest of the week was pretty random, my aunt would call for my help at some point during the day and Embry and I would go pick up things at the store or decorate the hall she rented. We even baked for her one day, but that one day quickly put a stop to any future plans of me and Embry cooking for her again. Can you blame us for burning the cookies?

The day of the party is here and dread is washing over me as I stare at myself in the bathroom mirror. Makeup and dressing up never my thing, I examine my hair one last time hoping that no one will laugh at me. When I walk out of the bathroom I find Embry waiting in the front room already dressed in his new approved attire and just like me he looks uncomfortable. Guess he never thought coming to visit my family with me would bring him to this moment, dressed up in brown dress pants and button down shirt. He must be in shock still cause I have been standing here for about 30 seconds and he hasn't said a word.

Maybe I look hideous!

I glance away from him suddenly not feeling like I did something right, ready to turn away and run back to my room and hide.

"Larke, you sure clean up nice, and you should definitely wear dresses more often can you imagine how much fun it would be for my hands to sneak up that dress of yours." Embry says smirking and taking away any conceptions I had about not looking good, but gosh does he have to be so explicit.

I blush as his words register making me very glad my aunt dragged my mother out of the house earlier leaving us to get ready in peace. One comment like that and my mother would be as prickly as a cactus towards us.

"Think we might be able to try some of that sneaking tonight though, some dark deserted corner or perhaps sitting at the table you know that table cloth is rather concealing." Embry says snickering.

"You wouldn't dare…"I say but his eyes gleam with mischief.

"Wouldn't it be a fun game?"

My eyes widen and my heart begins to race he is actually serious.

"How would you stop me with everyone watching?" He says innocently.

"C'mon lets go." I say at a loss of what else to say.

"Impatient are you, maybe we could play in the car?" He says following me out the front door.

"Shut up Embry, we will not be playing any games." I say tersely as I get into the car.

"We'll see." Embry said his eyes glinting again.

I rolled my eyes at him and started the car. This is going to be a long night if I have to worry about Embry acting like a complete idiot, geesh I hope he is not out of control or anything. He had kept his promise to call Sam each day usually at night after we retired to my bedroom, but since my mother catching us in a not so modest way that first morning and our talk of sex games we had hardly even kissed. Now I am worried, not only about making a fool out of myself but about his well being.

The room was entirely too full of people successfully shifting all my worries to the back of my mind as a slow and icy fear rolls through me. The eyes of the party guests are zoned in on me and Embry as we walk through the now way too small party hall. My grasp on Embry's hand tightens to the point where I can no longer feel my own hand only the searing heat coming off Embry.

"Relax." Embry whispers in my ear, "You are going to hurt your hand."

"Right." I mumble and release a little on my grasp, "I really don't want to be here."

"Lets go see if any of your cousins are around, the one's you like I mean." Embry suggests quietly already pulling me towards the other end of the room.

Being closer to my cousins helps a little but in the end the number of people I am actually comfortable being around is way less than the sheer numbers of those I truly have no interest in seeing. My mother's entrance is promptly at 5 and she is ecstatic as my aunt guides her though the crowds of people. After about a half hour my mother is finally brought towards me smiling widely, looking as happy as I have ever seen her.

"My darling baby girl, you wore a dress just for my party, now I know Jonnie has been whispering in your ear." My mother exclaims scooping me up into a hug.

"Happy Birthday mom!" I say with as much enthusiasm as I can muster.

"Thank you, I am so happy you came." She says and flitters away into the crowd with my aunt in her wake.

"That went better than expected." I say under my breath and slump against the wall behind me.

"I think she is stuck on repeat." Embry says motioning with his head as my mother bellows the same thank you line to another guest.

I laugh not phased at all by her repetition.

"Come on I need some fresh air, food won't be set out for at least another hour." I say heading for the backdoor just off the large kitchen.

Embry follows me without a word, but I do see him steal a handful of cookies before he follows me out the door. Outside it is quiet and deserted, exactly the peacefulness that I need to recover from the torrent of activity inside the hall. Embry hands me one of his cookies and takes a seat on the metal bicycle rack, a wavy one looking like a inch worm. I lean against the spot next to him and eat my cookie in silence.

"Are you getting homesick yet?" I ask quietly between bites.

"It's hard being away from the pack, it's easier with you so close to me every second of the day, I don't know what I'm gonna do when I have to sleep in my own bed all by myself when we get back." He frowns slightly.

"Lots of old ghost here huh, sorta haunting you?" Embry asks after a short silence.

"Yeah…It's okay though." I whisper leaning into his shoulder and resting my head on his arm.

"Are you feeling any better?" He asks wrapping his arm around me.

"Yeah, are you feeling okay, I mean I was just wondering since you've been here and all you haven't had your little chats with Sam and Jake and you haven't been able to run."

"Well, about that were gonna have to go back to the woods or something before we fly home on Sunday cause I'm getting a bit edgy."

"Okay you should have said something sooner you know I don't know about these things…how about the other thing?" I ask looking up at his face from my position on his arm.

He chuckles, "Which occurred to you first that I might be having problems with that or not phasing?"

"I thought of the wolf thing second, just now actually." I mumble feeling a little awkward about asking now.

"Am I that obvious? What gave me away I mean I wasn't trying to hide it from you but I didn't want to put any pressure on you…" He trails off as the backdoor of the hall opens up.

"Thought I might find you two out here." The voice of my Uncle Bob reaches my ears and I look up to see him walking towards us.

"Sorry you know I just needed some fresh air, it's a bit crowded in there." I explain pulling myself away from Embry.

"I know, no excuses needed." Uncle Bob states looking out over the town instead of at either of us.

"I just wanted to say that I am glad you came home for this Larke and I hope you two will visit more often, hell maybe we will all come out and see you soon. Just don't drop off the face of the earth like you did in college Larke, your mother misses you. We all miss you."

"Sure, you all miss me." I laugh but smile at my uncle.

"C'mon you have been out here long enough, the food is being set out as we speak."

I groan loudly showing my protest, "Alright, we will come in and eat you twisted my arm."

"Yeah, yeah just get in the building before I am really mean and send Justin out to find you."

We all laugh at my uncle's joke.


	87. Chapter 87

**Okay so the end of this chapter was fun you'll see why, thanks to those who read and who like my story :)**

Larke's POV

Embry actually behaved the rest of the night no 'games' as he joked about earlier maybe he just thought it would be fun to see me get all nervous when we sat down to eat. I don't know what goes through that mind of his sometimes, momentary lapses in control is my best guess. I am grateful that he did not try anything at the dinner table I would be mortified if my family found out. The rest of the night wasn't any less trying for me to get through especially when my uncles stole Embry away from me and left me to roam the party without him. Found out later they were pressing him for info about how I have been since I moved away from here.

Our flight leaves today at 6pm and my uncle volunteered to drive me and Embry to the airport instead of my lovely cousin Justin. I guess they are more worried about me getting back home than they were about me arriving safely at their doorstep. Embry and I repack our things and place the bags in Adam's car, we are to meet my uncle at his house around 3 so that we have plenty of time to get to our flight. That only gives us 3 hours to goof around in the woods today.

"Goodbye mom," I say pulling her into a big hug and kissing her on the cheek. "love ya." I whisper quietly.

"Goodbye Larke." She squeaks out before turning towards Embry, "Goodbye, Embry don't make me string you up by your toes, which is exactly what I will do if you hurt my daughter."

"It was nice to meet you." Embry says with sincerity after getting over my mother's outburst.

We head out to the car and I refuse to glance back at my mother who I know is standing in the doorway waving. The sooner I leave the sooner I can fool myself into blurring my childhood memories. When I look at them without focusing my mother almost seems normal. The drive over to the woods is quiet except for the radio spewing out songs and the humm of the old car's engine.

As I pull the car slowly off the road and up next to the woods Embry visibly relaxes at the sight of the trees. I wonder how hard it is for him not to phase for a few days, does the urge gnaw at him or has the whole wolfie need to phase been overshadowed by other not so innocent desires. I watch him as he climbs out of the car, his shoulders flexing as he opens the car door to get out. Before he makes a move to completely climb out of the car he turns back towards me and smiles only to frown at my frozen position with my hands still on the wheel. I quickly smile back and force myself out of the car quick probably looking like a fool in my rush. I join Embry on his side of the car and before I can utter one word I am swept into a tight embrace.

"What's wrong?" He speaks slowly into my ear, his hands only gentle on my back as he tries to reassure anything and everything all at once.

"Nothing, I mean I was just caught up in my thoughts…" I mutter glance up at him from under my lashes not quite wanting to explain the torrent and maelstrom of emotions going through my head at the moment, "Let's just go we only have a few hours before we leave."

He sighs and gives me another squeeze before letting me go and clasping my hand in his, "I'm not just going to drop this Larke…"

"I know, but lets do this first so you don't go all wolfie on the plane later."

With that we walk into the woods and a quiet calm settles between us drowning out all the unspoken thoughts between us. Once we reach the clearing we were in before I settle in on the ground while Embry gets ready to phase. He seems to be in a rush, I guess a few days without phasing sure gets to the guy. Embry runs around the small patch of forest land and I simply relax and let my mind wonder to what ever thoughts it wants to.

A large wet tongue alerts me that Embry has returned, my hands instantly reach for his wolfie ears. The wolf before me shines with a glow that is indescribable, his eyes glint with the essence and uniqueness that is Embry joining both man and beast as one. They are one soul, Embry and his wolf are joined somewhere deep inside and I am joined to them—soulmates.

As I stare into Embry's eyes my heart seems to weigh down in my chest and I long to be at home away from here where we can both be who we are among family and friends, not hiding out in the backwoods that are much too small.

"I can't wait to get home." I whisper to Embry my hands not dropping from his fur as I fall back against the fallen tree. My eyes fall closed and only moments later I feel Embry's human flesh tracing my chin. His fingers sizzling hot to the touch, leaving a heated line along my face.

"We'll be home tonight." He whispers and gently pulls me into his lap as he settles himself on the ground.

"I know, whose picking us up?"

"Sam is he is a little worried about me…" Embry says trailing off.

"Why is there reason to worry? I mean what did you guys talk about on the phone that has him worried, should I be more concerned than I already am?" I say my voice cracking a little at the end.

"There is no need for you to worry, being out here today has helped with a lot of it, I'll be fine until we get home." He says reassuring me, "Besides I plan to sleep most of the flight so I have like only a couple hours to behave, right?" He says laughing.

"Okay, maybe you are right." I say conceding and pulling out my phone to check the time. Time sure flies when you are out in the woods, hours have passed and it only felt like minutes, Embry must have ran like a wolf for longer than I thought. "We better get going."

The plane ride was much better than the ride to Ohio, Embry was asleep and so was I for the most part. My feet are asleep I realize as I try and stand only to have to catch myself with the back of the seat in front of me. The tingles in my legs slowly fade as I wait for the isle to clear so Embry and I can get off the cramped plane.

Out by baggage claim Sam is easy to spot, how many tall dark and stern looking men do you see hanging around an airport, I've only ever seen two and one is standing beside me. My luggage is snatched out of my grasp by Sam and Embry lugs his own out to the car.

We climb in the car Sam speaks, "Are you feeling okay?" Concern once again washes over me as I watch the two men interact and things are said without words spoken making me even more uncomfortable.

Embry finally answers, "Yeah better now that we are home."

I sigh and lean forward resting my arms on the backrests of each of the front seats, sticking my nose into their conversation so to speak. Both of them eye me out of the corners of their eyes and I gain a smile from Embry but Sam only clears his throat.

"What aren't you telling me?" I say bluntly tired of their stupid games.

"Nothing, you need to concern yourself with." Sam speaks with a firm controlled tone, hoping to stifle my attempts to find out.

"Shut up Sam." I snarl turning towards Embry who can't figure out who to watch me or Sam, so Sam must be trying to deal with me talking back to him, ha Alpha male can't intimidate me.

"Larke, why don't you just relax we have had a stressful day and it is a long drive back home." Embry as quietly trying once again to dismiss me.

"You need to tell me what is wrong, hell Embry what you think I don't care enough about you to know…I am not trying to be a pain but I can't stand the fact that it is so blatantly obvious that you are hiding something."

He whips around in his seat causing me to fall back against the rear seat slouched down most my back resting on the seat more than the back rest. He face is distraught and a anguished look crosses it causing me to shutter.

"You want to know, you really want to fucking know that I am having a difficult time controlling myself, that every thought running through my head for the last two days would make you blush so red, let alone render you speechless and it is taking all my will power not to act on those thoughts. So the only place I want you right now is in the backseat sitting there like a good little imprint and not causing a fuss. I need to get as far away from you as possible right now before I do something I know you aren't ready for. So don't pop your head up here and tell me you want to know how you can help because right now you can't." He says with his voice raised and his eyes flaring with high emotion, his frame trembling just the slightest.

"Embry sit down Now!" Sam's voice echoes with authority in the car and Embry hesitates for a single second before complying.

I feel wetness on my eyes and cheeks as I slump back against the seat and pull myself out of Embry's line of sight.


	88. Chapter 88

Larke's POV

The rest of the car ride was deadly quiet, the tears kept falling for a good 20 minutes as I beat myself up for ignoring the obvious signs that something was wrong. It is my fault anyway, I did this to him. What is wrong with me? Do I get off on torturing the man I love? As the tears dry from my eyes and chill my cheeks anger rises in me, he left me in the dark, sure he wants me to be truthful with him but he is lying about having problems. Nothing is going to work out if we can't discuss the obvious.

Outside the window I notice familiar sights letting me know that we are finally almost home, all my hopes of having a happy return smashed now that Embry is pissed at me. Hell he about yelled at me. I let my eyes dart towards the front seat only to see Sam's calm face watching the road and the side of Embry's head almost motionless in the passenger seat.

The car starts to slow and we pull into La Push, I hesitantly glance out the window and realize we are approaching Embry's house. The place where me and Embry would part and I would be going back to my room at the Clearwater's house. A wash of sadness washes over me like I am about to lose something, I had been with Embry for days with out more than a couple of hours interruption and now the mere thought of him going back to his cold empty house is simply unacceptable.

Sam pulls the car up to the front of Embry's house and both men climb out of the car after popping the trunk. Now or never I think as I quickly pull the handle on the car door letting me out, the cold wind almost sends me back into the car, but I slam the door behind me and look at a very shocked Embry and Sam.

"What the hell are you doing you are gonna freeze to death, get back in the car!" Embry shouts his voice surprisingly not full of anger but concern.

I stand there glaring at him and Sam gets back into the car, content to let Embry deal with me instead of butting in. I am thankful for that the last thing I need is Sam ordering me to do anything.

"What?" Embry says taking a step closer to me.

"Don't what me you know what…" I grumble in attempts to stop myself from yelling.

"Look just get back in the car and go home." He says clenching his fists by his sides and setting down his luggage.

"Fuck you Embry." I say with all the menace I can muster, my anger rising to the surface again.

"Do you realize that you are really pushing your luck here Larke, I am hardly in any condition to discuss this with you at the moment and if you don't want me to drag you into my bedroom and have my way with you I would get back in the car now."

I only hesitate for a second before I launch myself at his tall form, his heat instantly driving the chill away as my arms squeeze him tightly to my body. He remains frozen and tense beneath me.

I lean in close to his ear, standing on my tippy toes, "Is sex with me the only thing that will help?" I whisper quietly fearing the answer he will give.

I hear a deep breath come out of his mouth as if he was holding his breath. He glances down at me before answering, "At this point I think doing anything sexual with you would help, are you offering yourself up in the name of science so we can experiment?" His voice tense but there is a hint of amusement trickling off of him.

"If that means I get to stay here tonight then I believe I am…" I say trying to have courage and sound positive but I fail and my voice quivers as I speak.

He chuckles quietly before walking around to Sam's side of the car, they seem to exchange a few words before Embry joins me back where he left his luggage.

"What did you have to get permission for your girlfriend to stay the night?" I ask and receive a pointed look from him.

"Breakfast tomorrow at Sam's house…" He replies almost as if ignoring my question. "Come on, you're getting cold." He says and starts towards the door.

The inside of the house is much warmer than outside but I am still a bit chilled, the lights on the inside of the house reveal the tension on Embry's face that I missed outside. His jaw is set, brows creased, and his eyes narrowed tightly making him look very ominous.

"How much control do you have left?" I ask following him across the living room.

"I think it is too late for that question, considering you are already here." He says without stopping his progress towards the back of the house, my feet stop following him at his almost threatening words.

A few minutes later he comes back out with a handful of something that looks very much like lacey pajamas, explicitly short black lacey nightgown that if I put on would barely cover my butt.

"Follow me." He says using a deeper voice than I am use to hearing from him, he looks directly into my eyes and doesn't look away until I start to step forward. He waits for me to reach him and gently embraces me.

He whispers in my ear, "Relax Larke, I won't hurt you."

He holds me for another minute before grasping my hand and leading me towards the bathroom.

"You are freezing, don't you think a nice hot shower would feel good?" He asks as he starts the shower and I stand there wide eyes, frozen in place as my mind rushes to comprehend what exactly I set myself up for.

He turns to me and frowns slightly before giving me a small smile. He decreases the distance between us in two short strides, his hot hands start at my shoulder and rub down my arms slowly.

"Tell me why you are here Larke?" He asks surprising me.

"I didn't want you to go, I didn't want to be away from you tonight." I whisper not looking at him.

"Are you afraid of me?" He asks as he tilts my chin up so that I have to look him in the eye.

"No." I answer quickly, "I'm just nervous." I sputter out quietly.

"Do you trust me right now?" He ask looking down and closing his eyes in anticipation of my answer.

I glance around the room watching the steam rise from the hot shower and look back towards Embry, "Yes." I answer and he looks up his eyes locking with mine.

"Good, then just continue to and relax this is suppose to be fun, remember." He says smirking now as his hands start towards the hem of my shirt. "Arms up." He says and I hesitate only for a moment before I comply and he pulls my shirt over my head.

"Unbutton my shirt for me, Larke." Embry says his hands not stopping his perusal of my almost bare chest.

My hands are shaky beyond belief as they settle on the button down shirt on Embry. The tiny little buttons are impossible to undo and with trembling fingers I admit, "I can't."

"You can too." Embry says reaching around and unclasping my bra sending a chill down my spine.

I try again this time with less shaky fingers, Embry's encouragement giving me a little more confidence. The stupid buttons, do I really want Embry's shirt off, knowing what it will mean? As my fingers open the buttons the shirt starts to fall open until it is completely exposing a slim line down his chest. All my concentration had been on opening Embry's shirt that I never even realized what his hands were doing. He has managed to unbutton my pants and his, no doubt getting a little annoyed with my slow movements. Once my hands are off his chest he hits a faster gear and quickly removes the rest of our clothing, and is leading me into the shower.

The hot water is more relaxing than I could have imagined, not to mention the gentle movements of Embry's hands on my body that have me only wanting more. Embry is behind me his arms around me but they are anything but still as he smears soap along my body. "You are so beautiful." He whispers deep and throaty in my ear. I feel his tongue trail up my neck and he seems to suddenly still behind me.

After a few minutes of standing silently in the stream of hot water Embry reaches around me to shut off the water and just like that without warning the wonderful shower is over. He grabs a large towel off the counter and wraps it around me drying me off quickly.

"I bought you this." He says grabbing the lacey skimpy thing off the counter and holding it up by the thin straps. "Do you like it?"

"Sure." I say and tentatively reach my hand out to grab the silly garment wondering if I will have it on long. I give my hair one last squeeze with the towel and pull the little black dress type thing over my head. It skims my body and ends mid-thigh slightly lower than I thought it would reach. I look over at Embry and see that he is still standing there watching me, no longer wet but completely buck ass naked and obviously aroused.

"Go wait for me in my bedroom." He says quiet yet commanding. I glance at him wondering what he is up to but when I notice his clenched fists I quickly do what he says.

I walk down the hall and towards his bedroom a little nervous at his evident strain at controlling himself, the clenched fists can't be a good sign. He also didn't attack me so it must mean he is in some kind of control.

I sit down on the bed feeling a little more relaxed now that I took a shower, but it is so cold in here. I glance around the room, of course not blankets except the ones on the bed. Before I can get the bed unmade and under it Embry enters the room looking a little more calm than before. I smile at him and stop trying to untuck the blanket on the bed.

He stalks towards me and just about pounces on me like I am his prey, trapping me under his body in an Embry sized prison. He has a glint in his eye that I have only seen a couple times before, but before I can protest he has is mouth on mine and his hands roaming expertly down the lacey nightwear.


	89. Chapter 89

**Okay here is the next chapter hope you enjoy sorry for those of you who were expecting a full blown lemon not quite, but discriptive enough i hope so you get the point haha Thanks for the reviews, favs and alerts love seeing them all in my email.... sorry this chapter is so short ran out of words i guess:) EnJOy**

Larke's POV

The air seems to weigh down pressing us together, the movement of his mouth against mine sends tremors through me completely bypassing my brain sending passion straight to my innermost being. His body surrounding me, overheating me beyond measure, his hands dominating, possessive, and it is all together unfathomable, indescribable.

His words to me commanding almost demanding but within them his tone relishes his love for me. Everything seems to move slowly, every movement precise yet forceful, his hands and mouth seek out places I never imagined would feel so good.

"Larke." I hear Embry say almost breathlessly as he releases my wrists from where he held them still. My arms a little achy from the strain, but almost reflexively my hands seek out his bare skin wanting to feel his body as he so expertly explored mine. My hands innocently trail the lines of his chest, doing nothing more than sliding along the sweat induced sheen of his skin. Eventually Embry's hands slide over mine and guide them much lower than his upper torso almost a silent command conveying his desire for me to do much more exploration than I ever have, but yet much less than what Embry has already done to me tonight. My lips part against his chest as I become lost in the feel of his body, wanting more I find my mouth against his pecks, my teeth grazing him gently as my hands run along hidden treasures and prominences down below. Endless moments of Embry allowing me a little bit of control over him, feeling his breathing increase, feeling his muscles tense under my touch, and hearing grunts and groans escape his lips.

With a loud growling groan Embry falls back against the bed, pulling me down along side him. His lips find my shoulder and his arms pull me close fitting me like a puzzle piece snugly against his chest, my body conforming to his. I listen to his heavy breathing and feel the steady beating of his heart.

"Embry." I breathe out quietly.

"Hmmmm?" I hear and feel his breath against my shoulder.

"I love you." I all but whisper the words still finding them a little hard to speak aloud, I only just begun to know their truth inside my own head, let alone hearing me speak them out loud.

"I love you too…thank you for trusting me…I'm sorry I was so mean in the car and for not telling you that I was having trouble before, I just didn't want to push you, you know I didn't want you to feel obligated or something." He whispers softly against the back of my shoulder, I wiggle a bit wanting to look him in the eyes, wanting to see him and relish in all that is the man beside me. His hold stills me at first but something makes him let up and allow me to twist within his grasp. His eyes in the darkened room glimmer at bit almost animalistic and they lock on mine as I focus on the glinting orbs.

"I'm glad I trusted you…and if what we did tonight is anything like the so called games you want to play then I think I'm in." I say with a smile probably boosting his ego a bit. "Although I am still very nervous about the whole…uh sex thing." I say and I start out confident I can get it all out but end up barely whispering the last part and blush I know cause the heat on my already flushed cheeks is almost too much.

"Don't worry, there are still things we haven't done yet that don't involve intercourse." He says sounding insanely old using technical textbook terms but it gets him a shy giggle from me. Geesh, how can I be shy around this guy, I mean after when I have done with him.

Of those other things I secretly worry about one he may eventually want me to try, but I push it out of my mind not wanting to discuss that horrific detail at the moment. I didn't balk at having my hands on him, taking it one step further shouldn't repulse me but my memories are just a bit haunting at the moment.

"Just be sure to run those new ideas of yours past me before we start I don't think I am up for any surprises just yet." I mutter and place a shy kiss on his bottom lip.

"Sure thing, just remember I'm in charge." I laugh remembering him ordering me to do things one minute and for him to judge my reaction the next. Hot and demanding to a bit timid and concerned, I wonder if it will always be like that or if he will ever be solely demanding throughout. I think about that for a moment, do I want him to?

"Your quiet." Embry states he clearly was expecting a response from that remark, but my mind took over my body and stopped me.

"Sorry I was just thinking…" I mumble my brain not quite relinquishing control to me just yet.

"I got that much, hopefully good thoughts…did I scare you? Did I hurt you? What did I do wrong? Did I…." He says sounding a little frantic but I stop him mid question by placing my hand over him mouth.

"Shhhhh, no, nothing good thoughts…." I mutter softly and remove my hand from his lips.

"Sorry I was worried."

"I know and it is so sweet that you do even when you are trying to be the big alpha wolf." I giggle again and drop my head onto his sweaty chest breathing in his scent.

"Maybe next time I won't." He challenges.

"That might be fun." I tease and he laughs loudly and pulls me closer to him.

"We should sleep, Sam is expecting us in a few hours."

"Do we have to?" I all but whine.

"Yes, it was not optional so to say."

"It was an order?" I ask still baffled at when and what deems an order I only know Sam and Jake and clearly give them.

"Yeah, don't worry he is just concerned…doesn't want me holding you hostage again." He laughs and I join him.

"What a great story that will be to tell our children?" I blurt out and my eyes widen hearing my own voice speak those words.

Embry shoots upright flopping me onto my back and he is looking down on me intently arms to either side of my head.

"Yeah?" He asks disbelief washing off him, "You mean it? You really want me? You want little Embrys running around?" he looks me in the eyes waiting for a response but I have none to give, as much as I want to say I do I just can't get the knot out of my throat.

I lean up to him and kiss his lips silently hoping a kiss is enough, a simple three letter word and I don't have enough strength to admit it to him aloud.


	90. Chapter 90

**Okay here is a little L/J for you all who love that Blackwater stuff, a little more insight into their relationship the way i see it anyway hope you like but that is not all that is in this chapter so Larke and Enbry will make there way here too...**

Jake's POV

Okay so Embry was having problems controlling himself, but now Larke is over in the den of the wolf and at the mercy of his deranged thoughts and limited control and what am I stuck doing calming down her best friend. Leah totally went off on Sam when he stopped by to let her know that Larke would be spending the night at Embry's. Clearly Sam has lost his mind at least according to Leah. The floor is going to wear thing in the living room, not to mention my every attempt to distract her she has shot down.

"Leah, babe will you just sit down and relax Embry is not going to shred the poor girl, you heard Sam it was her decision. He didn't force her out of the damn car." I smile at her and am rewarded with a evil petulant glare and the backside of her middle finger.

"Is that a suggestion?" I chuckle again receiving another glare that beckons me, almost dares me to try something remotely sexual.

"C'mon Le, you know that is what they are doing at this very moment." I say approaching her and getting my hands on her for a moment just before I find myself on the ground her cute frame leering down on me.

"I warned you Black, I am so not in the mood to have your pathetic ass fumbling around and trying to distract me." She snipes at me and a smirk forms on my lips as I sweep my legs through her knocking her down along side me.

I roll up and onto her straddling her hips using my weight to my advantage, pinning her to the ground beneath me.

"What you gonna do now? I say grabbing her arms mid-air and stopping her from punching me. I lean forwards her arms securely in on of my larger hands, my body looming down upon hers. Keeping her guessing my next move is one of the few advantages I have of the crazy she-wolf. Of course she could phase thus giving her an advantage for mere seconds before I follow her into wolf form.

"Jake…What do you think you are doing? Let me up." She struggles beneath me making me want nothing more than to drag her upstairs to her bedroom.

"No, you need to relax Le," I mutter leaning close to her neck and sucking her skin gently into my mouth. "You are going to relax, you are going to let Embry and Larke alone. You are going to let me take you up to your room…"

She cuts me off, "Fuck you Jake, let me the hell up, how can you think about sex at a time like this. Larke could be scared out of her mind with that psycho friend of yours." She rants once again trying to push me off her making me press my body firmer against her, making me want to force her to give in even more.

"She is probably having fun, just like I want to be instead of trying to out maneuver you, well maybe out maneuvering you in another context would be equally fun but you don't seem to willing at the moment." I whisper into her ear before pulling her ear lobe into my mouth, teasing her trying to make her forget.

She lets out a strangled moan and turns her head to catch my lips with hers, the moment that our kiss deepens and my hand loosens on her arms my body is launched backwards against the wall. Stunned I watch as she stands up and smirks at me lying at her feet.

"Well, don't just sit there Jake, you think you can control me. I want to see you try." She says pulling her shirt over her head and running up the stairs towards her room.

Again I am shocked and it takes me a moment before I collect my thoughts enough to follow accepting her challenge, grateful she isn't upset anymore. An unhappy Leah makes an unhappy anyone else at least within a range of 20 feet.

Larke's POV

I woke when I felt Embry's heat leave me, I open my eyes to see him walk out of the room, his naked form bring back intimate memories of what exactly we did last night. I yawn and stretch and wonder where Embry keeps those pj's he keeps giving me, silently wondering if he bought anything warm. A slight chill runs up my arms as I pull the comforter around me, locking out the draft running through the bedroom. A few minutes later I hear Embry coming back, the flush of the toilet giving away his reason for leaving.

I smile shyly at him when he enters and without hesitating he joins me under the blankets and pulls me close to him. His nose presses into my neck and his arms rest just below my ribs warming me and sending away the cold.

"Are you feeling better?" I ask him turning my head slightly so that I can get a glimpse of his face.

"Much." He murmurs.

"I don't want you lying to be again, what would you have done if I let you come back here by yourself last night? Would you have snuck into my window and forced yourself on me? Would you have lost it next time I saw you? Well?"

"I don't know…the only thing I could think about was that I needed to get away from you I didn't want to hurt you or scare you and you have hardly let me touch you since we talked about things in the woods. I don't want to push you too far and have you try and run out on me again. I would rather never have sex with you ever again than lose you…" he whispers.

"I don't want to lose you either, that's why you have to be honest with me about this…no matter how hard it is for you to talk to me about it you have to at least tell me because deep down some part of you wants it. The wolf is part of you and I don't think you'll ever be able to control it enough to not have what ever desires it places in your head so I am going to be open minded as I can be as long as you trust me as much as I am going to attempt to trust you."

"I know." He agrees and kisses my neck making me forget what I was going to say next.

"We should get to Sam and Emily's house for breakfast." Embry mumbles pulling his mouth away from my skin.

"Did you buy me anything warm when you bought those not so covering pj's you keep pulling out of your secret hiding spot." I giggle.

"Of course," He smirks and pulls himself out of bed and over to the dresser. "This top drawer has all the things I bought for you if you ever get the courage to look inside, though you may not want to, you might get scared." He chuckles and pulls out some normal looking fleece sweat pants and sweat shirt set.

I glare at him, "Those are pink." I say sternly but he just smirks and throws them towards me. "Awww," They were pink alright but on them were cute little wolves howling at a full moon with the words "I only howl for you" printed along each of the little pictures.

I glance up at Embry who is pulling on his own clothes which actually includes a t-shirt. I pull on the pink sweats thankful for the warmth but glance at my feet just before they touch the drafty ground.

"Socks?" I frown at him.

He frowns slightly and reaches into another drawer and pulls out a gigantic pair of white socks, obviously his, and tosses them to me. The things are huge, the heel of the sock rests about two inches up my ankle and the sock ends just under my knee but they are warm.

"Thanks." I say jumping out of bed to find my shoes, which were left in the living room I think, I hear Embry following me and wonder how we are getting to Sam's. Will walking through the cold be required?

I hear a car horn honk out front, startled to hear something in the quiet that is Embry's house. Embry glances out the window briefly and makes a small groan before turning around to face me.

"Leah and Jake are here to pick us up I guess."

"Okay." I say tying my shoes. "Then lets go before Leah has a conniption fit."

We rush out to the car, well I rush anyway, it is cold even with the fleece pants and shirt on. We both climb into the back of Jake's car and Leah bursts out laughing before I even settle in.

"You dressed her in pink…Gosh Embry you really got her wrapped around you little finger if she is willingly wearing pink for you." She laughs and I pout.

"They are warm, and I wasn't about to leave the house in what I wore to bed last night." I grumble.

"See Le, they had fun last night there was no need to worry." Jake says earning a slap on the back of the head from Leah.

"Lets just go I'm hungry." Embry says pulling me from my seat on the other side of the car and into his lap.

The drive was short, I mean it only takes a few minutes to walk there so in a car 1 minute or so tops. I realize as we pull up that we aren't the only guests this morning, several of the cars parked out front belong to members of the pack, I can only conclude that everyone is here for breakfast. We enter the tiny house seeming so much smaller with all the people inside, but the warm smell of French toast and bacon dissolves all fears from my brain.

Sam's eyes catch mine briefly before he says, "Good Morning?" he says the greeting in a form of a question.

"Good morning Sam." I state smiling at him and Embry pulls me snuggly backwards into a tight embrace.

"Great! Everyone sit it is time to eat." Emily says leaning into Sam from the kitchen.

**I just thought that i would let my faithful readers know that i think it is about time for me to write the Epilogue for this story i have really run out of things to write did i leave any unfinished business i hope not but if i did point them out and i will try and settle it all...i have thought of several ways to end this story but i don't want to leave you all hanging withou closure i hate when stories just stop and it is like they live happily ever after cause they are in love hell life isn't like that and everyone knows it so i will try and not do that sorry ifthat is what you want but yeah EnJOY Thanks for your Reviews and Faves and Alerts Can't Believe youall Actually read my stories :) :)**


	91. Chapter 91

**OKay here is part of the Epilogue and i do not know how many parts i will have i am thinking now maybe 3 but i thought that i should get something out to you guys and i already know it is short...i am having a bit of writers block on most of my stories which i am trying to remedy with another story about Bella, it is working somewhat since i just wrote this.... hmmmm hope you like ENJOY**

The chilly march wind blows against my face as we climb out of the car. A few months have passed since we visited my family, since we both allowed ourselves to trust one another more completely. Trust has been my weakness for as long as I have known Embry probably much longer. As I began to see him in a different light my trust in him grew, but just as soon as I had given that trust to him he had lost it. I almost lost him that day, left the man I have grown to love so much.

The trail is the same, the trees try and ward me off but we press on…allowing my memories to flood back into me. Every emotional ride I took that day out here with him comes washing over breaking all my levees. Embry sensing my anxiety clutches my hand sending a ripple of warmth through me. Knowing he can do this for me, facing the moment in time where our paths might have divided, where our love would have been lost forever.

The strength that has grown between us over the winter and has led us back to these trees and the place that was suppose to mark a memory not play out my nightmare. The crunch of our feet against the chilled twigs and dirt echo through the almost silent forest. Not a bird calls or a rustle of a critter in the leaves disturbs the quiet.

The air is heavy against us not just with the fact that the early spring wind is howling, but also that we carry a heavy silence between us. The words stopped early as we left the house. No music from the car's radio, no encouraging words, but just silence echoing a fathomless note into our ears.

I lean my head against his hot shoulder allowing my face to warm upon first contact, tingles send waves of heat numbing my face with an almost painful warmth. I glance up at him through my lashes and allow myself to get the first glimpse of his discomfort and pain. It seems that our steps slow as we walk, closer and closer to that clearing by the waterfall. I had hoped in the back of my mind that this place could one day could once again become a special place for Embry and I, but it is not a thought I can ponder at the moment.

The clearing comes into view and we stop for the briefest of a moment to take in the sight before us, part of the waterfall is frozen making it eerie beyond imagination. It is like time is standing still the second our eyes looked upon the landscape. The stillness envelops us as we look through towards the cave beyond the falls. What do I think I will find facing this place again? What do I think is back there in the deep recesses or the darkest depths? I have to face it, I have to know if I can reconcile this within my soul. Is this memory the only thing keeping me from him?

This is where we will part ways for a while, Embry will stay here while I venture into the darkness alone. Alone, I must face my fear if I will ever have the courage to face Embry in that way again. Never since that dreadful day have we had sex, we have come close but the fear, the trepidation always rises and I hold back. I know it has caused more than a little stress between us, divided us to some extent.

The path is slippery and as I slide along the icy rocks I wonder how much effort on Embry's part it is taking to allowing me to continue unaided. Probably all his wolfie control and then some. I almost fall once and then twice but quickly I take the last step and slide on my hands and knees into the darkened recesses of the cave behind the falls. The darkness encompasses me and the icy falls hide me from Embry, I am completely out of his line of sight now.

I take in the icy walls as the memories of being held against it rush back into me taking my breath away. I walk closer finding the spot where he held me, my fingers trace the cracks he left when his fist pounded into the rocky wall. The cracks now are filled with ice, water frozen within the craggy walls turning them into a black glass. Smooth beneath my hand, the ice becomes slick as my hand become colder, I run my hand along the length of the wall feeling it become more rigid as the ice becomes cold stone.

Memories flood my brain and surprisingly they are not all bad ones, one exception being the feel of Embry's lips on mine and the torrent of emotions, all not making sense yet somehow they consume me. I feel my mind closing in on itself, the feelings arising within me, I don't fight it allowing myself the moment to process everything I am feeling.

The next moment two warm arms encase me bring me back to reality, back to where I am and in the next moment I realize I am on the ground. I look up at Embry's face, concern and turmoil liter his handsome features. I try and smile as he helps me sit up. He pulls me into his arms and cradles me against his warm chest. Warmth floods me and my eye roll shut at the feeling.


	92. Chapter 92

**Okay yes it is short again but give me a break it is hard to end a story but not quite over yet....things are left unanswered and i can leave it here....ENJOY**

The sweltering heat surrounds me bringing my eyes open to focus on the shadowy face above me. The concern in his eyes, seems to draw me in, I snuggle closer and feel my head pound out a rhythm of pain. I hear myself groan and wince only seconds before my memories of what happened come flooding back. One question though how did Embry know I had fallen?

"How did you know?" I mutter wincing again at the pain as I settle in more comfortably into his lap.

"I heard you hit the ground, falling isn't exactly a silent occasion." He says gently rubbing my arms with his oh so large hands.

"Do you see the ice? It seems fitting that the ice is here smoothing over all the roughness and cracks. On the surface it all seems so smooth and perfect, but really all that ice just hides the imperfections below the surface. I don't want to be like the ice anymore Embry. You have touched my heart in ways I never imagined possible, melted away the glossy surface and haven't shied away from what you found underneath it all." I look up at him and we watch each other for a quiet moment before i have the urge to try something, "Help me stand." I say and he frowns but complies in silence.

Embry helps me up and I am thankful for his hands on my waist for my head spins and my eyes swirl the images before into a blur. My hand instantly juts out towards the filled in cracks, the only evidence that we were here before. I trace the cracks I can see them just barely below the ice. I pull my hand away grabbing the throbbing heat from my hip, I bring Embry's hand up to the wall and place it firmly against the ice.

Waters begins to drip down the wall at the points of contact, erasing the façade of perfection, uncovering what is below. We both know what lies at the bottom of he ice. Once his hand is flush with the craggy rock the lines of ice in each crack is much clearer, I close my eyes and take a deep breath preparing myself for what I am about to do the memories i am about to relive. As I trace the cracks with my finger, my mind replays the fear…the significance of this is that Embry could have hurt me instead of the wall.

I stand there staring at the wall for what seems like hours, Embry still behind me and still silent. What could he say, there is nothing to say? I step backwards and feel Embry mirror my movements one hand still securely on my hip to steady me.

The falls are frozen in time, stuck somewhere between existing and thriving. I was stuck too, I realize, stuck believing that it could never get better, stuck living in my fear of what happened here. I don't need to erase the memory from my mind more likely I just need to be okay with what happened here. I think back remembering our conversations before that day…so confident and reassuring but just a coward in the end.

I turn around and glance up at the man I love, so strong and yet at this moment he seems so lost and unsure of himself. I know coming here is trying on both of us, but it had to be done. Facing this with him is the first step in allowing myself to be with him again. To allow him to make love to me for the first time, I smile at that thought as I remember a few more moments out here that weren't entirely fearful or traumatic.

I turn and start towards the opening to leave, Embry tailing slightly behind his hand in mine. He falls in step beside me once we clear the icy rocks, the walk back with a throbbing head is going to be lengthy. My feet come up off the ground only seconds later and I find myself in Embry's sturdy arms. My arms wrap around his neck and I place a small tender kiss on his neck, if only to reassure him that I am more than alright.


	93. Chapter 93

**Okay i am bad at this ending the story thing so here is another installment to the forever still working on it ending to Hiding from it all, i will get there but if you know anything from this story i like to write i mean it has what 90some chapters hahaha well here is another 'chapter' it is longer and no it is not the end :) but i hope you like....took me a couple times deleteing it all to get here and i think it ties in good with the tone of what i already wrote in the last waterfall sceens....**

**There is a poll on my profile about this and a possible spin off so check it out if you want more of the story about Embry and Larke and my Jake and Leah or someone else in this story**

**Well ENJOY Thanks for the reviews alerts and faves hope this is up t par**

Sitting here at the counter waiting, more like hoping someone would actually come into the tiny little store, just so I would have something to do. The hum of the old cash register drones in my ears. It has been a week now since Embry and I went back out to the falls, I thought that going out there would magically cure me, but deep in side I knew better all along. Magical cures don't exist, sure magic does but cures and hocus pocus not entirely reliable.

I run my hands over the grainy wooden counter for the millionth time today, the lighter grains almost feel inlayed into the decades old wood. Smooth yet imperfect by aged marks and nicks showing the wear and tear of countless years and memories. Each row is growth, symbolism of how good or how terrible a years of growth was long ago. Last year at this time I would never have imagined that any guy could love me, that I could ever let myself get close to someone, especially someone who reminded me so much of the kind of guys I despised. Life has a way of making you seem hypocritical, people change I guess, just because their pasts aren't spotless doesn't make them terrible or evil. I would have threw myself off a cliff if I ever thought I would fall for someone like Embry, yet now that cliff would only look friendly if in fact Embry wasn't in my life. Well, unless we were jumping off a particular cliff together that is.

The bell above the door rattles, clanging against the door frame I look up to watch who ever is here walk in. A friendly face smiles broadly at me and I smile brightly back at her, Kim doesn't head into the merchandise but rather directly over to the counter. I had to tell her eventually about lying to her about going shopping with her that day I tried to run away. She was hurt, thinking I never wanted her friendship, it took a long time for everyone to convince her I didn't mean anything by it. She is still kinda of weary around me sometimes but I think she is coming around for the most part.

Kim is here to take over my shift, she was the substitute that took my place last fall when I returned to Ohio. We both work part time here, now the owners decided to keep us both on instead of choosing one of us when I returned. Less hours for me but I don't complain really, I don't have any money concerns for the most part, since Leah refuses to take rent money, claiming I am hardly even home anymore. So what I say my stuff is still there, I eat meals there like everyone else.

Kim and I exchange a few words before I head out the door for the mile walk back to Leah's house. My breath puffs in the chilly afternoon air and I wrap my coat around me snugger hoping to keep some of my warmth to myself. The trees are all around me as I walk down the road heading out of town, not quite ready to turn green just yet as it is still frosty cold most mornings but the new growth is just waiting for that perfect day to open up.

My eyes scan the tree line and I smile seeing a lone wolf step out from the woody barrier, my wolf, strong and proud with a hint of playful banter. I smile broadly at the unexpected visit from Embry. He crouches down on his haunches blending in with the brambles behind him, waiting for me to reach the recesses of the forest. Just before I step off the road and onto the grass only feet from where he hunkered down, he turns and slinks back into the forest daring me to follow.

It has only been a week since we both ventured out to the falls and I guess I have been a little distant as my mind tries to process all that has occurred. Sure I have seen him, sat with him, but to be honest I haven't said more than a few words to him nor him to me. I have never once followed Embry into the woods like this, he has met me after work but usually in a vehicle set on giving me a ride home or to his house. The wolf is new, almost exciting if it wasn't freaking me out a bit, but if I know one thing without a doubt is that I trust the man inside the wolf in turn I trust the wolf—both of which I would follow to the ends of the earth.

I don't see him at first, the gray skies obscuring vision by forming a dreary and stark radiance throughout the placid trees. Directly in front of a large tree he is sitting, intense look on his wolfie features, eyes holding all his emotions for me to discern plain as day. He has bee brooding I see while I have been sorting out my mind over the past week, darkness is in his eyes but I know that in following him here I have hopefully lit a faint fire within the brooding depths of angst-ridden mind.

I approach him determined in my steps, not once faltering letting my intent be clear to him, that although I have somehow secluded myself from him, it was never my intent to hurt him, never my intent to send him into the darkest hollows of him mind. My trust and my love can draw him out and bring him back to me, I smile at the wolf as I ease myself down beside him.

I run my hands down his large back and lean into his body absorbing his heat and finding it beyond comforting to have my body pressed against him, even as a wolf. He leans down and licks the side of my face and I fight the urge to push him away, so instead I place my own kiss on the side of his large muzzle as I roll one of his ears beneath my thumb. His large head bops against my chest and I topple backwards onto my bottom only a few feet from him.

The next second what was fur and wolfie is now naked and human and almost instantly he scoops me up into this arms. I look into his eyes, his nakedness forgotten as I peer into the orbs searching for what I saw before in the wolf's eyes. I am relieved to see that part of the darkness has definitely receded and given way to the loving tenderness that he hold only for me.

"I missed you." He whispers his voice gruff but tender. he pulls me closer against his body and I wrap my arms around his neck, pressing my cold hands against his heated skin. I smile when his muscles twitch at the sudden change in temperature, but it only last a second before my hands are warm from the contact.

"I never left." I say softly my lips against his chest. It is all I can say, not quite wanting to have this talk in the middle of the forest sitting on Embry's naked lap, oh yeah I remembered his is naked the second my arms snaked around his neck.

He tries to pull me closer and more snug against him but I doubt he could do such a thing without crushing my bones. He lets out deep breath and leans his head against my shoulder and draws my scent into his nostrils. He seems content at the moment just to have me close, my scent surrounding him, his body surrounding mine. I give in and relax willing to give him this time in the forest if he really feels he needs to hold me.


	94. Chapter 94

**Okay here you go another chapter some of you are wondering if i will actually get this ending out the rest are just happy i am updating again Well again not the end but i am getting there :) Enjoy love the reviews love seeing fave and love seeig you alert my stories **

**love this story it is really hard to write this knowing it will end :( **

I look up into Embry's eyes finally stirring within his grasp, my mind wanting to say so much but my mouth not quite prepared for the words, my eyes not braced for the reaction, and more importantly the consequences of what I need to, want to say are too much.

The sky has darkened considerably, the air much stronger and cold whipping against the back of my head, twirling strains of my hair upwards and around. The heat from Emby's body swirls upwards drifting between us, as I pull away from him repositioning myself in order to see him clearer.

Facing him now I can't stop myself from tracing the lines and cures of his bare muscles. His eyes are intense, the silence between us still profound as I lean forward and place my forehead against his. I slowly let out a deep breath and his masculine scent fills my nose as I breath him in. His breath rich and hot, I can taste the thyme on his breath from his dinner as each breath of his reaches my slightly parted mouth.

"We need to talk." I breathe slowly and slide my forehead down the bridge of his nose until my lips are resting on his chin. I kiss him chastely and nip at his jaw before pulls away.

"Here?" He asks echoing his want to leave the woods now.

"No, your house." I whisper and slowly rise to my feet.

With silent agreement Embry phases back into his wolf form and we walk side by side towards his house. He navigates soundlessly through the trees and brambles while I possibly make enough noise to alert the entire forest of my presence. I lean into him as we walk, and clutch at his long fur. It only takes us a good 10 minutes to reach the back steps of Embry's house. There are no lights on to welcome us, and for a moment that thought makes me kinda sad.

Inside I find myself bypassing the living room and head straight for Embry's bedroom, my work clothes not that comfortable. I scan the room for something to put on usually my pj's were just lying around the room, but tonight they are no where to be found. Of course I haven't been here for nearly a week and a half. I remember plainly Embry saying my drawer was the top one though I have never peered inside the thing. The glint in his eye when he told me about it has always stopped me, not to mention some of the kinkier things he has pulled out of the drawer have also kept me away. I smile recalling the handcuffs, though when he let me put them on him, they didn't last long. I look behind me seeing if Embry had caught up yet, always takes him a moment to change back, he isn't there at the door. I hesitantly walk up to the dresser and slide the drawer open a crack, not entirely wanting to know where Embry's brain goes when he is buying things. I see my red pj's on top folded neatly. I pull them out and as I do something heavier than the silky material falls to the floor along with the pants.

I quickly shut the drawer and bend to pick up my pants from the floor and look for whatever fell out with them. Underneath my pants I see something that look like a hair clips with a beaded chain connecting them. I pick it up and look at it more closely wondering why Embry would buy something for my hair, I never where stuff in it beside a ponytail holder. What else is strange is that on the ends there is black rubber, these sure are strange hair clips and why are they chained together? I shrug and decide to ask him later and toss the clips on the bed and start to put my pj's on wanting to be comfy while I try to discuss this rather unsettling topic with him.

He finally enters the room actually wearing some clothing, must have stopped by the washing machine on his way to the bedroom. He stops at the door watching me pull the pants on over the matching undies and I watch his eyes flick towards the drawer and then back to me, as if wondering if I actually explored the drawer I know he desperately want me to look in but is afraid for my actual reaction.

I climb onto the bed and take a deep breath my courage quickly diminishing as he walks towards me and plops down beside me. He furrows his brows and reaches beneath him, he must have sat on the hair clip. His eyes widen at the sight of it as he dangles it on one finger between us. The corner of his mouth twitches as he stares at me before he just smiles and sets the hair clips beside us on the bed.

"I've been thinking a lot lately, you know all week." I state trying to find that courage I know is somewhere inside me. I look down and trace slowly trace his name with my finger in the top of the comforter.

His hand reaches out for mine stilling my movement, he brings my hand to his lips and places a small kiss on my knuckles, I feel compelled to look at him so I do. His eye are soft, understanding and I feel some of the anxiety leaving me and some sense of peace washing over me.

"You know I just thought that going there would fix it all, that it would make it all go away somehow…but it didn't. You know I'm want to be with you…right?" I softy say trying to remain in control of my emotions not wanting this night to end with tears instead.

"I know, I love you Larke and would do anything, and I mean anything with you, for you, to you—just name it and it is done." He says bringing my hand to his lips and pressing it there for a good 30 seconds.

I close my eyes shielding myself from his penetrating eyes, something in them just wants to bring tears to my eyes, grief or happiness I don't know which.

"You marked me as yours…" I say placing my hand over the scars on one of my shoulders, "Even before I ever accepted you, you knew I would be yours…somehow the very thing you never met to do brought us closer, the first time you lost control the scars you placed on me were more physical than emotional. The second time you lost it you scared me more mentally and like the scars you can see on my shoulders the second ones will always leave their marks too." My eyes spill over with silent tears as I look up into his tormented eyes. I know talking about this is harder for him, seeing as he has inflicted the damage onto me, the very person he would give his life for without hesitation.

He remains silent so I continue, I look down and clasp one of his large hand between both of mine remembering how I once was in a state of awe at their gentleness.

"My trust in you like you have always pushed his far greater than I can fathom, I would follow you into a vampires lair if you wanted me to, but my trust in you is no longer the issue."

I take a deep breath wondering if I can explain this right without losing him, he need to understand and not miss part of the explanation. I am going to take this slow and hope it makes more sense spoken than in my head.

"Irrational fear is something that is entirely unfounded in the sense of reality such as being afraid of bunnies. You know rationally that the bunny can't harm you but yet you are afraid. I think that I have an irrational fear too." I pause seeing if he is getting this.

"I know you don't like large crowds of strangers." He softly responds for the first time verbally.

"Yes, but I have another one, I think a new one."

"Bunnies?" He mumbles, I shake my head.

"Of sex with you." I whisper on an exhale. "Of you hurting me again."

He looks down ashamed and refuses to meet my eyes.

I grab his chin and place a tender kiss on his bottom lip biting him gently and forcing his eyes to lock on to mine. I don't release him and force him to keep eye contact with me, tying to will him to understand me. I close my eyes and back away wondering if I can even continue knowing how much this is hurting him and not just him but his soul.


	95. Chapter 95

**Okay so here is another chapter i am thinking that maybe one more to finish this story up hmmmm, so if you think you might read a spin off or a sequel type story about this go to my profile and vote on the POV Someone mentioned rewriting this story from Embry's POV and that would indeed be a challenge (that option is up there by the way) if you don't want to vote on the poll feel free to send it in a pm or review. Regardless there will probably be a 'sequel' or spin off but it helps to know what the readers think. EnJOY**

His silence scares me as I see the emotions stream through his eyes.

"Talk to me Embry, I can't read your mind." I whisper and clutch onto his shoulders.

His eyes close tightly and a deep breath gargles from his lungs, his deep brown orbs are dapped in pain and self-loathing and with his eyes downcast he starts to speak, " I don't have words for what I am feeling at the moment, crushed is a start…" His head drops into his hands, "It doesn't matter, all that matters is you." He says hoarsely his voice straining.

I pull his hands away from his face shocked to find them full of moist heat, his eyes being the natural spring.

"I don't want this to hurt you but I just can't and believe me it isn't because I don't want to."

Ring

Ring

"What's that?" I ask obviously it is the phone, when did I ever see or hear a phone here.

Without answering me her clears his throat and reaches toward the far side of the bed, "Hello." He says his voice deeper than usual in his attempts to cover up any and all emotion.

"Kay." He says and hands up the phone.

"Wh…" He cuts me off before I can even ask, "I have to go, pack business." He says, kisses me on the forehead, and with a final glance he leaves. He leaves me in the middle of his bed, during what quite possibly could be a significant conversation about our relationship.

I let out a dramatic groan and flop myself back onto the bed, the silly hair clips bounce next to me only reminding me that I still have yet to figure him our completely. I manage to relax enough to fall asleep, only because I am not being woke up by heated kisses across my shoulders.

Embry's mouth must be the hottest part of his body or maybe it is just the moisture that makes it seem so. I run my fingers through his hair letting him know I am awake if he didn't already know. He bites my shoulder gently and lets out a groan before easing himself down beside me.

"False alarm." He says not giving me any further explanation.

"Oh." I say sleepily and roll over into Embry laying my head on his chest.

"Did you miss me? I was only gone an hour or so." Embry asks his hand running through my hair.

"Mmmmm, I guess I did." I mutter softly wondering if I should pick up our conversation again or just let it go.

He makes my decision for me when he pulls me up towards him and kisses me, thoughts of disrupting this go right out of my head and I sink into kissing him. He reverses our positions pushing me backwards onto the bed and hovering over me. His heated kisses trail down to my shoulders where he licks the marks he made on my body. It gets to me when he does that acknowledging that he did that to me, makes my heart flutter with delight.

"Hold on." I mumble and he stops looking at me, "Something is digging into my back." I reach behind me and pull out the stupid hair clips and Embry snatches them out of my hand.

"Do you know what these are Larke? I never thought of them before now, when I found them on the bed earlier." He groans his gaze intense as he plays with the little chair connecting the clips.

I just watch him, fascinated by the look on his face.

"Then why did you buy it?" I ask wondering why he would buy something he never thought about before.

"Not everything I have in that drawer I personally went out and bought, sure it's all new stuff but a good part of it is given to me or rather us. Now these I would never have thought to buy, but after seeing them on the bed," He closes his eyes for a moment before continuing. "Mmmmm, you don't know what they are do you?" He slides to the side of me and leans up on his elbow looking down at me.

"Tell me what you think these are?" He asks and I feel like I want to just die.

"No, I know I'm wrong now and you'll make fun of me." I mumble as my face heats red under his gaze.

"Well, okay they aren't what you thought they were, any new ideas Larks?" He asks as his mouth threatens to twitch into a smirk. He does this when he knows more than me, cocky, arrogant, and almost pure wolf, I sometimes think when he is like this.

"Could you just tell me what has you all hot and bothered about the little clips on the chain? You are driving me crazy, lying there looking all smug and cocky." I groan out and grab the silly metal things from him.

He smirks at me broader and brighter than before, "I could show you how they work, and what they are used for…" His eyes glint at the mere thought as he speaks making me feel a bit weary of the whole idea.

"Ummm, No." I say firmly as he dangles the metal things so they are just barely dragging across the top of my chest.

"Awwww, it would be so much fun." He whines and tries his pouty face on me, if he were in wolf form it would surely work, but he isn't.

"If its so much fun, tell me what they are and I'll consider it." I reply confidently his puppy dog eyes not working on me tonight, not after seeing the wolfish glint in there mere seconds before.

"How 'bout I tell you where they go and then you consider it?" He counters, clearly there's something he doesn't want to say.

"Okay." I say giving in I mean I still have an out. Before I even finish the word Embry is placing open mouthed kisses across my neck and shoulders, he pauses briefly to nip my shoulder when my scars are before descending lower.

The straps of my pj top slide down my arms as his mouth makes heated trails across my chest. He catches one of my nipples between his lips and the other between his large heated fingers. My eyes close at the sensation and then his mouth is gone from my skin. I look down to find him watching me closely.

"They go here," He says pinching one of the peaks between his fingers, the wolfish glint springs back into his eyes giving away the fact that the idea turns him on. Without waiting for an answer he continues his exploration of me with his tongue, nipping at me. The question remains in the air until I feel the cold metal drag along my now completely exposed torso, the shinny gleam I won't doubt sends an unknown kind of fear through me but I am curious even more so because of Embry's desire to use them on me.

Bold, brave, insane call it what you will but I found myself muttering the very words that gave the wolf permission to use the icy metal contraption on me. The very words stopped him dead in his tracks, a low but very audible growl erupted form deep within him and he very slowly dragged his body but to eye level with me.

His face not only held the arrogant smirk I now associate with this darker side of Embry, but also his eyes smoldered with a lusty dominance that I have only seen a few times. I am no longer afraid of seeing it, but each time I have I have to wonder if Embry is still holding the leash to the wolf that is inside him.

Holding the clips above me along with his body, the anticipation of the unknown is almost more than I can stand. He takes his time bringing my nipples back to their risen state. The second before I flinch and he makes a loud grunt before adjusting the devise and attaching it. Pain and something else entirely shoot through me, my breathing is quick and harsh and before I know it both of the clips are in place, the metal chain resting loose against my skin.

"These my dear Larke, are nipple clamps." Embry breaths out finding his voice once again. I can't concentrate on his voice I barely register that his finger is trailing down next to the chain, tracing the path delicately. My eyes blur over until I see the chain now between his fingers, no longer against my skin but rising ever so slowly upward. Nothing matters but what he is doing, nothing exists beyond the metal contraption. Gently he pulls it upward, but only for a second before he is kissing me, sending all my thoughts away. I am beyond overwhelmed as his hands descend southward, nipple clamps forgotten as the passion and enjoyment of our activities increases.

Lying here next to Embry, exhaustion over taking him while I lie awake. I wonder sadly if this is all we will ever have between us. I sigh and roll over into this overheated body, I draw so much comfort from him yet on some level fear still exists. My mind excites itself with the next thought that pops into my head. I silently wonder if he would consider it. I smile against his chest as I recall his earlier words, 'anything'.


	96. Chapter 96

Of all the conversations I have ever had with Embry this one might be one of the hardest, at least the ones concerning sex. He is at the moment still sleeping, sleep for me was restless as I mulled over my thoughts and put everything into perspective. Last night I think I realized something phenomenal not only about myself but about our relationship, I hope I have the audacity to speak the words to the overly dominant wolfman I love.

The aroma of cooking bacon never fails to bring him to me, of course I had to run home to get it, luckily I didn't run into anyone while I was out. Just as I take the bacon out of the skillet a sleepy Embry saunters into the kitchen, I don't know if it is the smell of bacon or the sight of Embry in nothing but boxes but the saliva in my mouth is almost excessive.

"Morning." I say as he gives me a wiry smile as he wraps his arms around me. "I think we should talk some more we seem to have gotten distracted last night."

He frowns slightly and nods affirmatively. I grab some eggs and toss them into the skillet to complete breakfast, a full dozen will hold him over for a little bit and still allow me to have my fill.

"I have to meet Jake this afternoon." Embry says sliding into the sofa.

"Okay, we can talk over breakfast, before you go meet Jake, I have to head into work later anyway." I glance at him and wonder if he knows that his emotions are so evident on his face.

He nods silence again.

I eat my breakfast in silence until I I've had my fill.

"Embry, I came to a conclusion last night." I state and once again the tension files in.

"I think I figured out what we must do, the solution to our um, problem." I continue not quite looking at him.

"Solution?" He questions.

"Yeah, well what you did last night sorta gave me the idea, well I mean you never push me to have sex with you…"

He interrupts, "I didn't want to push you into doing anything…"

I roll my eye he is missing the point, "Embry stop, I am not mad about last night, do you really think I would cook you bacon if I was?" I ask quirking an eyebrow at him.

"I guess not but, Larke."

"But, what? Hell, Embry I know you have to be tired of just fooling around with me and never getting a home run, if you don't mind me using to silly idiom." My voice slightly raises as I speak, frustration clearly pulling through.

"That's not the point, Larke and you know it." Embry says standing up looking like he is going to run from this very conversation.

"That is exactly the point, I want you just to do it…ignore me and what I say or do and just do it." I finally gather my muster and spit it out, my eyes flick up to his horrified expression. His eyes are wide and he look a little pale, but his eyes lock with mine, even if it is only a mere second.

"I have to go meet Jake." He mumbles before kissing me on the cheek and rushing out the back door. So much for continuing the conversation.

Jake's POV

"She wants you to do what?" I exclaim quietly after hearing Embry's recount of this morning conversation with Larke, not to mention the brief details of what happened with the nipple clamps. Oh yeah, the whole pack was intrigued with that tidbit of information that just so happened to leak through last night during the not so urgent pack meeting that turned out to be a waste of time.

"She wants me to technically force her, I mean Jake I don't think I can do that to her a second time." Embry throws his arms up in the air dramatically looking a mix between disgusted and distraught. "I mean that is the whole reason we are in this mess to begin with…two wrongs can't make this right."

"Haven't you ever heard of facing your fears head on, you know if your scared of spiders you go into a room filled with them or rent the movie 'arachnophobia'."

"It is not the same, I mean what is she truly scared of if not my dick which she clearly is fond of, then what?" Embry asks crude as ever.

"It's not the body part that she freaks out over…well, anymore, it is the act."

"So you think forcing the act on her will fix it?"

"I'm not saying that, Em . I am hardly qualified to be having this conversation with you, you know her far better than anyone…"

"I know but it is like she is looking for another simple solution, she already admitted to me that she thought going to the falls again would solve it all, but clearly it didn't, if anything it made it worse, hell what she is suggesting could quite possible send our relationship back to where it was, and I don't think I can settle for not even being able to hold her hand let alone kiss her."

"I'm not going to tell you what or how to do this Em, just think this one through."

"So is the only reasons you wanted to see me today was to discuss my sex life or was there something else, Jake?"

He laughs and tosses a roll at my face from the basket sitting on the Clearwater's kitchen counter.

"Of course, don't let it go to your head that you just happen to be the object of most the gossip during patrols…" I chuckle and lead into the conversation I need to have with Embry about a pack business. Money has been tight and vamps have been low so the actual auto shop we dreamed of as kids might just be in our futures. I keep this light and casual seeing as Embry has much more on his mind that I thought, the rest of the pack can fill him in later.

Larke's POV

Embry walks through the door not looking like himself, still frazzled after our earlier conversation I guess. He eyes me wearily, I guess not intending to find me here after work. I smile at him but stay silent just watching him. His nose twitches as if he just noticed that something is in the oven baking, he swallows noticeably but doesn't make any efforts to open the oven or even pause in the kitchen. I took the liberty of stocking Embry's kitchen up with food, so I could stop stealing it from the Leah's house.

The shower starts moments later indicating Embry's actions and making me wonder what exactly is on his mind while he is in the shower. My mind wonders to more than what he is thinking more along the lines of what he looks like or is doing. I stop my thoughts and busy myself with finishing up dinner.

I fretted over the conversation we had all during work, it distracted me so much that when Emily came in to buy something I totally blanked when she asked me how I was. She smiled at me indicating that I should come over more once she got my attention. It made me think about how much she knows about me and Embry, the whole pack knows but does she?

It was shocking to find out that Embry buys 'sex stuff' but that his pack brothers have also given him things. Oh boy, that drawer is looking scarier the more I find out about it, but that look in Embry's eyes last night about made me melt, okay it truthfully did.

The shower shuts off and Embry emerges from the bathroom in nothing up cut off jeans, his chest glistening with water briefly before the heat of his skin sends it away. I smile and motion to the table. Embry silently joins me and I keep the silence until I have had my share, allowing my thoughts to overtake me.

"We're going to do this." I state mater-o-factly, ignoring his pause in eating I continue, "You told me you would do anything for me and this is what I am demanding."

The fork drops, clanking on the plate of uneaten food.

"Larke…" He breathes out and his eyes looking more intense each second.

"Finish eating," I whisper but he leaves his fork on the plate and stands. His large frame never looked so ominous as it does now. In all but two strides he is before me, concern and fear dance across his features, his large dark eyes are almost pleading, I gaze up at him remaining seated and my eyes suddenly feel rather moist. My resolve is faltering, my courage diminishing, under his sorrowful presence my plan slowly starts to fade.

I watch as he kneels before me, his head coming to rest in my lap, I am relived a moment for not having to look into his eyes any longer, not wanting to see what I have caused. The second the tears start to pour from my eyes he looks up, I don't know if it was luck or those damn good werewolf senses but the second my cheeks became salty his eyes are back on me.

His fingers brush them away but I make the mistake of flicking my eyes back to his and four more tears breech the barrier, and that is when I fall forward into him, my arms greedily grasping him around his neck. The tears are coming faster now, my mouth opens gasping in air, in a loud sob my teeth dig into the exposed flesh of his shoulder, and with that I finally feel his arms crush me into his body.

I don't know how long he has been holding me here on the kitchen floor, but as my tears slowly drift away, I can't help but smile at the absurdity of it all. I am trying to get this man to have sex with me, the most sexual man I know, and what happens I am balling in his arms on the kitchen floor.

"You know Embry, I never thought it would be this hard to convince you to have sex with me." I whisper not bothering to remove my face where it is pressed against his shoulder.

"I'm not going to force you, I can't hurt you like that again."

"You won't be, I give you permission, and before you say anything I know I told you something similar before but this isn't like before, I trust you, you are in control, and hell Embry you don't know how much I want it. I want more with you, I want my life with you , and how am I going to do that, if we can't have sex…cause you know that makes several things impossible like marriage, children, and I don't know what else but I'm sure there is something." I still haven't looked at him, but I hope my words have some effect on him.

"Larke, I want those things too…but maybe with more time you'll…"

"No!" I interject and lurch back in his arms to look at him, "I need this now. Do this one thing for me and if it doesn't work I'll concede to anything you think may help. I'll go to counseling, medications, or any therapy you deem necessary. Just give me this."

I look into his eyes for what seems like hours before he breaks the lock and presses me to his chest.

"Explain your reasoning behind it first. I am not going to agree to something just because you think it might work based on a whim." Embry finally states rising to his feet and carrying me over to the couch.

I turn in his lap to straddle him hoping that what I have to say will truly sway his decision.

"I remember bits and pieces of it before, but I think as a defense I try to block most, so I think that once um…you uh start that my fears will be replaced with good things. It was like that when I couldn't stand for you to kiss me or touch me certain ways…the memory or thoughts were negative until I allowed myself to feel it again and the good side of things. I don't know if I am explaining it correctly." I sigh and place my forehead against his chest.

"Larks, I need some time." He softly says and I kiss his chest lightly.

It has been two days just about and Embry has been patrolling much more than usual keeping him away from his house, which I refuse to leave except for work. Embry has been brooding the past two days, his silence though not the most welcoming isn't uncomfortable. Each night I wait up for him to come home, his dinner on the table waiting for him to reheat. The couch and a book are all I need to keep me relaxed until I hear the back door open usually around 1 or 2 in the morning.

Surprised I hear the door open it is only 11 and way too early for him to come home. I glance up and watch him walk in, I hear him grunt his approval at the large plate of food before popping it into the microwave. After a silent dinner I am wondering if he is going to join me in here since it is still early or insist that we sleep, like he does when it is late.

His voice startles me, "Are you coming to bed?"

"Sure." I reply rising from the couch to see him placing his empty dish in the sink.

I watch him climb into the bed but he hardly looks as if he is settling in for a nights rest. I join him and he turns his eyes on me making me squirm under his gaze. I wish he would just spit it out, say it instead of letting me come to my own conclusions.

"Embry…" I whisper.

He pulls me into his arms, my body instantly reacting to his wanting more than just his embrace. His lips crash into mine mixing into a heated kiss that leaves us both breathless.

"Are we…" I stammer as he flips me onto my back his dominance taking over, a mischievous glint in his eye beckons me to not ask questions.

Shock doesn't cover it when he suddenly clutches my wrists and maneuvers my arms over my head, his gruff breathless voice finds my ears, "If we are doing this, my rules…don't move." He commands and I smile because he is going to do it, comply with my wishes.

I struggle to keep my hands above my head as his lips go to work on my neck, gentle at first but it isn't long before I feel the rougher love bites and the dragging of his teeth against my skin. Working his way down my body I lose track of his actions, only reveling in what I feel. With each gasp and moan he elicits from my I feel him smile against my flesh, the entire experience feels different knowing without a doubt that regardless of what I say he is going to take me.

He move back up to me his mouth once again on mine, much more heated and passionate than before, his own body wanting release. His eyes lock with mine and the dark brown pools beseech me for any reason to stop, words are not an option for me but he leans in close to my ear catching my ear lobe between his teeth.

"I love you, Larke…and so help me if you hate me for this it'll rip my heart out." He whispers.

Fear of not only this act but of hurting him surges within me and it takes all my might not to cry out for him to stop. I want this I repeat in my head, he wants this…no matter what I will never hate him. My mind reels at the thought that he is having those kind of doubts.

The next moment happens slowly, the pause button must have been pushed several times. He locks eyes with me as the tip of him starts to enter me, a little pain bites into my lower regions. Fear rushes through me like it always has, I flinch trying to press myself deep into the bed. Images and feeling of Embry forcing himself on me whirl through my brain, I try desperately to push them away. It must have shown in my eyes because before I can cry out for him to stop, his mouth covers mine thoroughly distracting me. He doesn't let up until I feel his hips against mine. He did it, he is inside me…my eyes close tight as I try and push away any left over fear. When I open them he is still with me, as close as he can be, but he isn't moving I realize.

"I love you." I softly gasp before I bring my lips to his and urge him to continue, with out thinking my heads are on his shoulders, no longer following his rules. He doesn't seem to notice as the movements of his lower body surpass the movements of his mouth.

He pulls me close still not wanting to be far from me, sleep should be over taking me but it is not. My mind can't fathom that it happened, long months of wanting something I wouldn't allow myself to have. All my fear isn't dissolved but it is surly a start. I love the man holding me in my arms, I am his imprint, his soul mate and now I guess officially his lover. As kinky as I fear the dominate wolf is inside of him, I have come to accept them both as the man I love. Maybe even someday I will look inside that menacing drawer. I smile broadly and snuggle into the man behind me wondering briefly if the fear is totally gone or just on reprieve.

**Okay so there you go final chapter or epilouge ending or what ever This was hard to write not quite sure the last scene will read right but i tried it a few ways and this one is the better of them....well hope you all want a sequel and will read it.... hmmm poll is leaning towards a retelling in Embry's POV (might need a beta for that for ideas, haha not sure if i know what Embry was thinking, i am not a guy, but my imagination is good) anyway the other leaner is Paul's POV hmmmm, interesting followed closly by a Leah POV thus examining the whole Jake and Leah relationship....**

**Anyway if you care vote on my poll I'll keep you all informed about What i thnk i can write hopefully now since this story is over i may be able to think again **

**Thanks you all for your reveiws and supprt for this story seeing as it was my first long fanfic :) never thought anyone would read it **


	97. Sequel is started

The first chapter of the sequel to hiding from it all it up Embracing the Wolf is what it is called hope you all enjoy and thanks for your input for what pov i should write from, but in the end it was close. Don't be discuraged if your favorite choice wasn't selected there is always future stories i may write that may include that very point of view hope you enjoy.


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